For me being tolerated is just as bad if not worse than being hated; because at least when people hate you, you know that strait up; but being tolerated is emotional torture. They are just putting up with you; what could hurt more?
At first you think they actually care about you; you think they are your friend, sometimes you think they could become a really good friend, and in some instances possibly a lover; but it is all a misconception because they are just putting up with you. I have had people who are just tolerating me tell me they love me, tell me they care about me, but really it was just subterfuge a subtle way to subdue the intensity of tolerating me. Eventually it becomes clear; as they start to exclude you, avoid you, ignore you sometimes, talk to you sometimes times to keep the subterfuge going to trick you into thinking they are not just tolerating you; because they simply don’t want to deal with the fact that they are being emotionally cold and distant. They don’t want to fess up and take responsibility for any prejudice against you..and by tolerating you or putting up with you they don’t feel any guilt for actually not really including you emotionally, like they do their true friends.
It is a game of aloof emotional cruelty as it slowly eats away at the one who is being tolerated.. you ask question like “What did I say? Or what did I do wrong? Why are they so cold to me but so friendly to everyone else today?” It takes away your self confidence when you are tolerated.. I don’t want to be hated, but a least you know were you stand.
Being tolerated makes you feel like “The Boy in the Bubble” everyone else gets the tactile stimulation of actually being touched, loved and respected..but your in a bubble, you are pitied, people feel sorry for you so they acknowledge you, but they will not play with you; they will not be truly emotionally intimate with you….but they will put up with you and your problems that secretly they wish they didn’t have to deal with.