With Valentines Day quickly approaching..it is easy to concentrate my attention on the lack of romance and partnership in my life.. but unlike Valentines Days in the past.. before I had my children..when I was single.. this Valentines Day I have my three beautiful children to celibrate the love that we share…
We have been through a lot since their dad left.. it affected them more deeply than it has even affected me.. they still cry themselves to sleep from time to time.. they miss him constantly..as I have moved on..even though sometimes the rejection still hurts me.. it will always affect them.. always they will feel the lost..as I; being an adult have the inner tools and experience to move on.. but to them he is their parent, their father..nothing could be a deeper bond…for my children’s heartache I cry.. I get angry when I see them suffer..and I feel helpless sometimes and frustrated in that helplessness.. the best I can do is remain strong for them..comfort them…nurture them and tell them that their feelings are valid and that they have a right to their feelings and to express them..
I love to hear my children play.. I love to hear them sing and laugh.. I love to share my good chocolate with them..I just love to watch them sleep.. I even love it when they crawl into bed with me in the middle of the night.. I understand bad dreams.. I still have them..about when he left..and they do to.. I understand the need for comfort and I love to comfort them..
I love to listen to their dreams and I love to laugh with them about silly kiddie jokes… We love to get goofy and dorky.. just stupid silly..we love to dance around the house and sing at the top of our lungs..we love to out sing each other.. it’s just so much fun..
I love.. to just say ” I love you.” just because I do..and I love it when they say it too..
My life is filled with this love that we share together.. in part they saved my life.. if it was not for my children..when he left me.. I may have followed through.. my children unknowingly saved me.. and I am saving them from a harsh cruel world and reality.. as I am their soft comforting place.. when they are home with me they are safe..
You see if I was man crazy.. I would just have some jerk in my couch.. but only the best man will do for my children and for myself…