Stamina

I asked my cards.. “What is going to get me through this?”.. and this card few out of my deck.. just one card..it said it all

“You need STAMINA”

I  am like “SERIOUSLY?!!” this is the card of the battle weary warrior.. I am weary.. I am tired..since promoting my book there has been no end in sight.. no finish line.

 

This week I have been called ” Meat, whore, twisted bitch, bad mother, OFFENSIVE.. offensive is one of my old favorites.. deluded, a victim, insecure, slut.. etc…” for posting my book to various groups on facebook..and for contacting so called important people..who profess to want to help people like me….”Ya right!!”

It’s been a over a year and half now… promoting my book and website about women’s issues, and the freedom of women’s sexuality.. A woman said to me ” We aren’t as free as we like to think we are.” Turns out she is a Mormon.. I guess she isn’t and she doesn’t want to be freed least she go to hell or something truly deluded like the idea of hell…but I intend to change that, by exposing the double standard, by standing up for all women.. but the funny thing is..many a Princess fears being a Warrior
or a Goddess for that matter…because it means the bitch has to take responsibility for her own choices.. that is what freedom means.. no excuses, no blaming your man for not buying you what you need..but actually getting off your ass and doing it for yourself with out the excuse of repression. Because if women actually owned their own bodies and sexuality..holy fuck,.. the fucking empowerment would be endless..but many women hide behind religion and other male based power social structures ..so they don’t have to be a Warrior/Goddess and stand up for themselves..their own dreams..or even fucking live their own dreams out..nope lets just stand behind our men, stand behind them not beside them.. Women can have their dreams as freely as he can have his..and they can take responsibility for their own successes and failures..but little Princesses don’t want to take that risk..it’s scary.. and it takes to much COURAGE, GUTS and INTEGRITY.. nope just let the man take all the hits.. but.. then he makes all the decisions and runs the ship.. you go and you belong were he says you belong.. Princess..

Many of the names I have been called are from other women..” Little Cindy Whiners”

So sometimes I feel like.. “Fuck it..just Fuck it..why the fuck am I taking all these hits for these insecure jealous bitches..when they just want to stay in the kitchen and have their husband’s make all the decisions.. in the name of fucking God.?”

But I know some women that are real women.. who uphold what I am doing.. I know your daughters want the choice..to choose.. to have their bodies belong to them..to have their sexually freed from the label of ORIGINAL SIN.. to be in equal relationships..  not to be smothered to death by religious propaganda..and political propagandist using women’s issues to promote their bullshit.. Many women.. young and old want to do our will.. we want to live our dreams as freely as he lives his…

I know my book is like that small little acorn ..that one day it will be a movement.. springing to life like a huge majestic oak.. I just need someone to see the treasure..I just need someone with big connections and a big brain to see it for what it is worth..

I have to keep fighting the good fight.. even if some women have learned to accept and love their own captivity.. This is fucking hard work.

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