Solitude Is Bliss

I just want to be alone.. I have decided that it is so much simpler than trying to impress others. I am so done with tring to impress the opposite sex. The sexy little things I do are to increase my own self confidence.. that’s been the piont all along.

I have found that when a man enters my life he just ends up picking me apart. Like somehow I am supposed to measure up to all the brushed up, altered super models..like I am supposed to have hours of time on my hands for hair and fricken make up.. like I am supposed to keep the body of a 20 year old.. inspite of having three kids and being in my 40s.. I am just so sick of it.

The crap..so ” what do you do?”..”who do you know?” and ” how old are you?”.. I am so tired.. I can’t please one man.. I can’t please any of them..so I am not going to try… it’s just a waist of time.

My life is simpler when I am alone. I do what I want because it makes me happy. I write what I want with out some guy trying to tell me who I am or that it affects him.. how his friends and family see him.. There is freedom in just not having HIM…poking into my business trying to make it all about him.

Valentines Day for me..will be a day of peace..because I have no expectations..not one.. I expect nothing but me and my kids..it’s peaceful.

I have this time in my life..to say it is my life.. I have this time to go deep inside of me, myself and I.

To take a really good look at what makes me tick..what makes me happy..Not trying to make some guy happy that will never be happy with me..because I can’t possibly live up to his flighty dreams of the perfect woman.. I am never going to try again.

I am never going to put myself in that situation again.. I am not going to search..

I am not going to try if a guy does come along….nope I am done with jumping through hoops like a trained poodle..

I am not going.. you can drag me kicking and screaming..and I am gonna bite.. I am putting up a fight

no hoops..just

Freedom

for me.

  • http://gracieackerman.wordpress.com Grace

    Its been a very hard couple of months for me. Full of stress. From were I live .. because of writing my blog.. I have had some people.. mostly women who I thought were my friends turn against me..for posting my sexy pics.

    I have had to settle in my divorce with my ex.. I stand to loose $ 40,000.00
    in the divorce just because I can not take the stress any more..and lawyers will only end up taking it in the end any way.

    I had to fight to post my blog on facebook.. people still come and go on my facebook as I post sexy pics and racey topics..

    Being BRAVE has been very very hard.. I need to recharge.. I can’t have anyone in my life that will be a drain. I can’t jump through hoops or play games.

    If it be friends, family or romance.. I need people to support me. Not people who deplete me of my energy and happiness.

    Thats what I am saying in this post.

    Anyone that is in my life..or wants to be apart of my life.

    Don’t play games…don’t expect me to prove myself..

    or I am walking.

    Just that simple

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