Sleeping

 

I am worried about the world, I am worried about the state of humanity. I am worried that there isn’t any humanity. I am worried that the entire world has grown cold.

Watching what is happening in Middle East and comparing it to what is happening in my own country and city.. it all feels so hopeless.

Then is weekend with the police ripping through my town house parking lot.. right by the playground teaming with children..to catch a shooter; I was told by them they have the right to make that decision. The decision to risk the lives of school children to catch a shooter. I have had trouble sleeping since, because I realized that I cannot stop the violence from affecting my children or all of the children in the world. The gassing of children in the Middle East, lays so heavy on my heart. While watching my 6 year old little boy sleep sweetly beside me; crawling into my bed at night to take up the entire bed.. I think to myself ” There is a mother somewhere in the Middle East and other parts of this violent world who will never watch her child sleep sweetly beside her. She will never feel the tiny hands reach for her in the middle of the night; she will not calm the nightmares or cool a fever.. her baby is gone forever from her.”

Then in my own personal nightmares; my own personal hell of attempting to enlighten a society on women’s equality and healthy sexuality.. taking the risk of being a man on facebook.. Tom Wills.. being the fly on the wall and looking into Kelowna’s upper society learning though  the facebook post of those that reject me as a woman..as an artist.. that the most important things to Kelowna’s society is a well stocked wine cellar. It is so hard not to say ” They” and not reverse the prejudice..to say “THEY” are sleeping.. hiding behind the prestige of ” Wine Country” and the finer things of life.. while others die ” Eating Cake” .. let them eat cake.. let them do as they do while I enjoy my life..

I am judging and I know it.. am I bitter or fed up?

I lay awake wishing sometimes that I could sleep as they do.. loose this reality in spa days, and network luncheons and vanilla vodka strait up on the rocks..but I am painfully awake; my finger on the pulse of humanity..and it weakens.. like my sister’s pulse as she lay dying 6 years ago.. too young to die..and that is humanity..as my sister’s body self destructed by cancer..so does humanity.. it dies by the cancer of greed and selfishness…

In the Middle East millions of families.. yes families are displaced in camps..starving, dying.. pleading to the world for mercy..

Yet we hide our heads.. here in ” Wine Country”..and how can I raise awareness or money.. or run a protest..against this prejudice and violence..

When I myself face it here..when I am shut out and shunned socially..how can I do anything in this clicky society..???

A society that loves to sleep.

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