I have been studying the psychology of sexual fantasy.. reading many blogs.. like ” Psychology Today” I found myself thinking ” These people really need to learn the art of role play.” OMG seriously stuffy shrinks. Like for instance comparing your childhood issues to your need to be dominated. Saying things like ” You learned your neediness from your relationships with your parents.” Pleeeeazzzzzze!
We need sexual fantasy because real life can be so bloody boring! And come on.. we can shrink the shit out of everything and in doing so suck the fun out of everything.
I think we want what we are told we shouldn’t have because it is just exciting; and I don’t think that if people crave some excitement in their lives that they are all messed up. And I bet anything the psychotherapist who study this ( Human Behavior) have the kinkiest sex or they need to.
We all need to take a walk on the WILD SIDE.. we all need a release from being so well behaved.. such responsible adults..we need IT!
Because we have a fantasy doesn’t even mean we want to really carry it out in our real lives; it just gets us juiced up and ready for our lovers or it helps us to initiate our own orgasm through self masturbation; all is well and healthy with that. We may want to explore the fantasy with a lover, someone that we feel we can trust and who will understand our need for sexual exploration. What often happens is that the actual act in reality doesn’t live up to the fantasy. The fantasy is a magical, wonderful place that we all go to alone. The fantasy is ours to own, to master, and to explore.
Fantasy is a internal landscape within the soul; and also a map to our own bodies erogenous zones; it all begins in the mind; it is a manifestation of our true reality. Our bodies react to the fantasy as if it is actually happening..this is the magic of the fantasy. The fantasy is our own delicious, sensual break from every day mundane reality. There is nothing sick or twisted here; as long as it doesn’t hurt you our anyone else, there is no harm done. I am not addressing necrophilia or pedofiles as these are obvious sicknesses. I am addressing bondage, rape fantasy, gang bangs, men wearing women’s underpants and clothing, gay sex, bisexual sex, strap- on dildos.. etc.. the type of fantasies that will cause shrinks to go “Hmmmmmm” as they lean forward to say ” Tell me about your relationship with your mother.” Those are the great fantasies.. and they probably want to hear them so they themselves can get secretly juiced up and ready before bed.
The point is we need our sexual fantasies so that we can learn to navigate through a crazy, stressful reality.. we need the imaginary to keep us sane. We need our erotica, or role playing, or toys, costumes, props and just plain talking dirty as our way of fucking reality before it fucks us.