SCARED SILENT

In high school I learned that girls are either fridged or hot sluts..the girls that were virgins were fridged and the girls that put-out were the hot sluts..there didn’t seem to be any middle ground on this..but the thing was even if you didn’t put out..you could still be labled a slut by rumor.

This is the double standard for women..see if your a woman..and you work, and you don’t have children by choice, you are selfish and emotionally cold. If you a woman and you work and have children, you are a selfish neglectful mother. If you are a woman that stays home with her kids, your lazy and you are not doing your part for society. It seems to me that if you are woman, you are to blame, you are at fault for just having a vagina.

If you stay with a man that abuses you in anyway, verbally, emotionally, mentally of physically..you are at fault..because you are staying with the abuser when he continues to abuse you; but if you leave, and you have little financial resources, friends are family to help you…guess what? Yup; your fault..cause you should of tried harder to behave yourself and conform to his needs and wishes, so that you wouldn’t of put yourself in this situation..silly woman… I have been told this by my own family..yup that’s right!

I have been told that many women are able to get past his affair, his emotional, mental, physical abuse..and a good slap down once in a while.. so that they could keep themselves and their children in good financial standing.. hmmmm I guess I should of kept my mouth shut..hmm I guess writing this blog was wrong..because I have three children and I should of been spending all my time with them…what am I thinking trying to make a differnce in the world.. I should just shut up and join the cookie swap..and leave that to the extent of my talents.

I was told by people around me..a man,, a so called friends husband that my writing about a man abusing me by text and other ways..by writing down and reporting his hateful, revolting and discusting words..that I was revolting..thats the double standard again…isn’t it? I didn’t say those things but I am at fault for reporting on them?WTF

Oh and I am a bad woman and mother because I wrote ( I Wanna Know ) were I swore and used (what the fuck) many times to get my piont accross..but once again..women’s rights have not made much of a difference in the world today..I am still judged as a naughty or nice girl..not as a person that can be both..as I am and you are human.

I have been the fat girl..as I have gained and lost pregnancy weight.. I have been told to my face by people that I am ugly.. I have been ignored and I have been shunded..Like many women…I am all women in my experience of being a woman.

I am the pretty girl too, the one that is treated with distain because I am the pretty woman without a man..that could be and I am being seen as some as a temptation to their men.. the images of my boudoir photography that I posted on this blog and I posted my blog on my facebook; was seen as selfish by some women that live near me. But if they had read the writing of this blog..in context..they would see that I was trying to use this as an example against porn and for the real and beautiful sensuality of real women.. women like me and you.

It is because of men that women turn on women.. because men look at other women..as it is their nature..as it is their own beast within themselves that they must tame.

Tonight I will write more about this..I have much to say.. I have much to do here..for women and for our rights ..to speak about what we need and what we must be done away with..so that we can find peace in our day to day lives..

I am every woman..I was the virgin afraid of men.. I was the pregnant mother.. the nursing mother.. I was the woman abused by her husband and before her husband her father…I am the single mother tying to do her best for her children and herself…I am the woman in her 40s and in her prime..and one day I will be the grandmother..one day I will be a memory..but today.. I am every woman.

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