Reality For Christmas

I set fire to the pain!

Let the tears fall like rain!

That’s how you work it out..again and again…

You have to face the pain

There is no running away.

Or the apain will stay.

I set fire to the house of pain

I will burn it down this house of pain

You have to walk inside of the pain

To find away to get through

It’s what you have to do

I set fire to the pain

I put it out when I let the tears rain

I have locked myself away from the hateful glares

away from you

You want me to pretend that my sadness is a lie

That my sadness is my fault

That I deserve to be alone

You think I wnat your man because mine left me alone

You think that I am a threat cause I haven’t been taken yet

But you are so wrong

He has his mistress in my home mothering my children on this Christmas

While I am alone.

You don’t want to hear about this

You say that I am feeling sorry for myself

You say me pain is my weakness

that I just need to get over this

But the truth is this.. you just don’t want to hear about it!

You want me to pretend that Christmas is never sad

That sadness doesn’t exist..

You just want this

To believe in the ideal

To not see what is real

To not see that there are others in the world

Others than you…who’s Christmas is real!

That I need to think postive

But the truth is this…you say this because you don’t want to think of others

Others who have less than you..

What is it all about..if only this..THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS!

Seeing others other than ourselves

Other than us the immediate world..the big pirture..to see others as yourself as us

To move through sadness it has to be faced and seen not ignored..like you would ignore me.

The reality is this there are others that don’t have love for Christmas

There are others worse off than me..that don’t have food

That have loved ones passing away this very Christmas

But you want the tinsle.. you want the over decorated tree

So you can turn a blind eye on people like me.

This poetry was and is inspired by my experience this Christmas..but also by others that I have spoken too.

At my gym today a big huge muscular man..looked like he was about to cry..I could see it as plain as day..I couldn’t help but ask him what was wrong. I had seen him there many times..to look at him you would think he was very healthy and fit..but looks can be decieving.

He told me of his physical pain..his car accident over a year ago..how he was almost killed..his friend was killed..He himself sustained nerve damage to most of his body. Of course you can’t see nerve damage. He told me he was fighting it through his workout as the workouts eventually made the pain less..He told me about the cold nerve pain running through his body and about how the cold weather..made it so much worse. I felt deeply for him..I could see how much he hurt..He said he was sorry for telling me about it..he said he wasn’t as tough as he looked..but I said to him.. yes you are stronger than you look.. because I know how hard it was for you to tell me..if ever..I said to him..if ever you need to talk about your pain to make it less somehow..tell me..I understand pain.

Next time I see him..and I know he will say sorry again for telling me about his pain..but next time I see him..I am going to give him a hug.

  • alana

    love it grace.

    • http://gracieackerman.wordpress.com Grace

      Me Too! LOL..it felt good to get it out!

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