Love and Dating…Lucifer

Our date ended with us talking outside in the night air on my deck. He told me how he needed to be himself in our new relationship; how he wanted to be completely honest and open with me. Of course I thought that was great; my ex had lied to me so many times throughout our marriage I couldn’t even begin to count the lies or even sort through what was and wasn’t the truth. The Preacher lied through ommition; he just wasn’t telling me stuff. Like when his wallet fell on the floor and a several different bank cards came spilling out; who has that many bank cards unless the are hiding money? I could tell by the way the Preacher walked a few steps behind me the few times that we did go out in public together that he was not telling people at his church, work or his family that he was seeing me; if he had why did he act like a child trying to get away with something he knew was wrong?

The Dreamer strung a web of lies with passive agressive make-believe, false hood. The lie was that there was a blush of a romance that might be had through friendship and by getting to know each other, but the intention was for me to stay on the otherside of my computer so that I could waist my time and energy feeding his ego with my pretty words; words that supported his world of fantasy. I can’t rember a man not lying to me.

So when he spoke these words to me, a great feeling of relief washed over me ” finally someone that was real” We said our good nights and planned to meet up the next day since my kids were at their dad’s and my weekend was free and he was free as well.

The next morning I did my usuall run and visited with my friends as he was going golfing in the morning with his son; later that afternoon he invited me over for dinner and a movie. He had his older children leave to go to see a movie so that we could be alone. When I arrived his 16 year old son was there to have dinner with us before he went out; Lucifer pulled me in to give me a heated passionate kiss in right infront of his son! I was shocked! It had happened so fast that I didn’t have time to react; I felt so bad for his son and I felt that his father Lucifer had disrespected me and his son in doing so; but I tried to go on like nothing happened.

We had our dinner and his kids went out; we watched The Lord of The Rings; we didn’t watch most of it though before we got busy. It was disappionting to me; it was just sex, there was no emotional connection and it felt empty; yet once again he had thought he had done me a great sexual favor? After we talked outside on the deck; we had a drink and he smoked. We talked about our exes; I gave him a quick run down of the break down of my marriage and about how aweful my ex was still being, he put his arm around me and said ” Your safe with me now, you have nothing to worry about.” But I did and my intuition told me so. His words were flat as if rehearsed; I could sense they meant nothing to him. I think that he could feel me flinch when he said them; my response was ” I am fine now; I really don’t need a man to save me as I have saved myself by moving away from him and to Kelowna.” He seemed surprised at my response. He seemed surprised that I didn’t look at him with stars in my eyes at the thought of him protecting me. He then told me about his ex being a crack addict; but she had cleaned herself up. He then told me that the little stripper girl didn’t hold a candle to me! WHAT! I thought. SHE EXISTED! Holy crap! I thought he was joking but, she was real. My oppinion of him dropped instantly and I saw him in the cold hard light of day as my rose colored glasses came off with a crash.

He continued to tell me about how sorry he felt for her; how screwed up and crazy she was ” Ya she was sending him pictures of her crotch on his cell.” He then told me that he told her he was seeing me and that she wanted a threesome! But he said that he had told her she was to crazy for him and that he wanted to see me instead of her for those reasons. He told me he couldn’t resist a young girl who knew here way around a man and that it was only airport stand. But I didn’t trust what he was telling me. I told him that I had to go as I didn’t think it was fair that his kids should see us acting intimate together that it might be uncomfortable for them at first and that we should take it slow around them. It was true but I also found the need to escape so that I could think through what he had just admitted to me.

The next morning he text messaged me asking if he could come over; I told him that I was going for a run and that after my shower he could come over in about 2 hours.. I run for about 1 hour and 20 min. He told me he was horny and that he wanted a quicky; I told him I was going for a run and that if he wanted to come over later he could; but I had a bad feeling.. there isn’t anything wrong with couples enjoying sex when the first get together, it is to be expected but.. I had had a bad dream about him the night before.

I deampt that I was walking down the winding little ceek to visit him at his place.. But the distance kept getting longer and it was getting dark. In my dream I could hear sinister music playing; like the creepy music you hear in a horror film just before someone dies. In the dream I could see billows of smoke comming for his deck as he was smoking.. but he was hiding something from me or someone.. he was guilty of something. When I woke-up I could still hear the music in my mind.. creepy and sad. The dream stuck with me.

When I was married my ex would get mad at me for listening to my dreams telling me that I was crazy; but it was because I would always catch him at his lies through my dreams and he hated that of course. I knew something was going on; but I wanted to be what I wanted it to be. I wanted him to be the one and only.. I wanted to keep the rose colored glasses on because people look so much better to me that way.

After my run he came over.. and he used me for sex.. it was just that simple, and then I knew that I had been played..but what happens next will suprise you…

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