It’s so simplistic; something we are told to be from grade school and up .. yet so difficult to do.
People project their insecurities onto you; but also we learn through other’s, being our mirrors where our strengths and weaknesses are.. the difficult part is figuring out which is which.
The only way to be successful in life is to take responsibility for yourself; your issues and weaknesses. Taking responsibility leads us to possibilities; the possibilities lead us down the right path to success and discoveries. But unfortunately we have to go through the trial and error process; or learning it the hard way. Learning the hard way is the best way, the most painful way seems to nail home the lessons.
My lesson has been that I have been attempting to promote a controversial book; the controversy of educating the public about the sexual repression of women by religion, by stepping out of the paradigm by being sexually liberated and by expressing this feminine sexual liberation in my book and on this site, I have exposed the lack of it in society. Simply I have learned that I cannot function within the paradigm .. ( that is also within the media or business world ) since I am setting up or living within the new or more functional paradigm. My lesson is that it was silly to try. How could I have thought even for a second that I could be in that world when I am basically not of that world..but attempting to lead or show that world the way to the new society.. a world of true equality? Since women who are sexual or sensual are not to be taken seriously, seen as immoral or even evil in the old existing paradigm I am not justifiable. Until my book or message hit mainstream media or it is somehow excepted in mass it and I will remain on the fringes of society..
You see society says ” be yourself just not that way”
And so to stand my ground ..to just be myself.. I have to be by myself.. to see myself through my own eyes.. not to allow the old paradigm concepts of behaviors drag me down into the old and dysfunctional. To truly love myself and to have others in anyway accept me I have to totally accept and love me. So now I am flying solo.
This time of being just with myself is a time of great introspection .. a time to sort through the recent past.. to keep the lessons that were mine and to let go of the lessons that belong to others.. that were projected onto me by them.. it’s a unpacking..an organizing of the heart, mind and soul.. time to lighten the load.. let go of what has held me back.. find the doors that are locked shut.. to move onto open doors that maybe available now or in the near future..
When someone is being or doing something dramatically different they are usually pushed to the fringes of society out of fear and ignorance.. it is my responsibility to accept this for what it is..and to do my best to make the best of it.
My weakness has been to bash my head against doors that will not open.. my strength has been to dare to do so..
But now it is time to quietly gaze within.. to quiet my own fears.. to relax and wait upon the still voice that speaks in silent places..
I will just be myself now..