To tell you the truth of I am more of a nerdy writer.. ok I do have those wonderful moments when I do feel like a Goddess.. but the nerdy writer stays with me more frequently. My love life is much like Bridget’s was in the movie.. well actually much worse.. she got more action than I ever have. But those bad boys are everywhere and so I have learned to stay away from those charmers just the same as she learned the hard way. Just like her I feel much like a freak/geek in crowds.. I am not and never have been one of the cool kids.. I am one of those artsy weird kids. I am very innocent like her.. I expect people to be who they say they are because I am who I say I am.. but of course just like her I get screwed over for it..
It took a lot of courage from me to do my Youtube videos and it still does.. sometimes they are a bit of a rush.. but I hate. HATE. TOTALLY HATE watching myself .. and I have to..to play them back ..to make sure they are done properly.. when I sing or do erotic dance in my videos I cringe watching them. It’s not that I don’t love myself it’s just hard putting myself out there like that in a hard cruel world ..were you know people are going to pick you apart.. to pieces literally..feels like torture.. and don’t we as women do that to ourselves enough..like I or any other woman needs help with that.
I honestly don’t get men most of the time. I have male friends and I get them on a pure friendship level ( NO SEX ) but as soon as there is a hint of romance or sexual tension things get screwy.. I cannot tell if a guy I have a crush on likes me back.. unless he is very, very direct about it.. because I get all sensitive and stupid.. all screwed up.
Doing the photography for my book was easy because it was me and 2 female photographers.. it was like being in the gym change room naked around women.. big whoop..it felt natural and comfortable..but publishing the photography for my book was a mind-bending trip and it still is.. but I did it for good cause.. to help other women accept themselves,,, flaws and and all. Yes it is hard..it’s always going to be hard..because the person we are hardest on is ourselves..and other people can be such assholes.
The real me; is the little girl Bridget at the end of the movie.. the one that eats cake with her bare hands.. stuffs it right in her face and runs around naked and innocent swimming naked in the pool..
It takes a lot for me to ( put it out there ) it’s actually quite painful.. it really is.. but if I don’t do it other women will not do it..and then we will have a world promoting plastic beauty and inequality of the sexes forever..so someone had to do it..so I did it..
For those reading me for the first time my name is Gracie Ackerman.. you can google me to find me on Youtube and Facebook..and other online profiles.. my book is available on Amazon.ca
The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine
But this is me.. just like Bridget..sitting in my PJs with my fluffy pink slippers on ..picking popcorn kernels out of my teeth.. thinking ” Glad there isn’t a man that can see this now”