Bonita and I met at a Goddess Party.. held by a woman who really didn’t understand what it meant to be a Goddess.. turns out the Goddess movement in Kelowna is pretty wishy-washy.. just like Kelowna.. When I read from my book at the party..full of women.. I was hushed..as I was reading a piece from my book about religious repression of women’s sexuality and religious repression against sexuality as a whole.. The Goddess is all about women’s sexuality, exploring women’s sexuality and about women expressing their sex through the archetypes of all the ancient Goddesses.. but not in a bible belt.. in a bible belt speaking about such things is offensive..and so I was shushed.. while the other women went on to sing their songs..and read their writings .. I was hurt and shocked.. at the repression and the immaturity of these grown women.. but Bonita wanted to meet with me..
The next day.. we walked together down the lake front to go and have our dinner meeting.. it was October 2012.. it was a full moon that night.. during our walk I made a joke about loving to be naked..as I am topless on my website.. right away I saw Bonita cringe.. she didn’t get the joke..and she said something as to how it made her uncomfortable.. I could sense the stick up her ass..but my curiosity got the best of me.. I wanted to know what this was all about.. She started to tell me on our walk that other women were uncomfortable with my body language .. that I had a raw sexuality about me that they found threatening.. she told me that other women would fear for their husbands around me.. she said ” See how other women grab onto their men when you walk by?” She said..” You should dress like me, like a professional..than other women will not be offended and men will take you seriously.”
I thought ” This is going to be interesting..and this is getting catty and bitchy… I wonder what she will say during dinner.. ?” I just had to know.. this was fucked up..
During dinner.. she told me that other women she knew ( meaning Kelowna Women In Business) wouldn’t want to network with me with “those pictures on your website” She told me that I was seen as a whore..she then went into the etymology of the world.. going back to German roots.. saying it meant a lewd, prostitute.. VULGAR.. She told me that I was sexually injured.. that my chakras were all lower energy.. meaning I live in my crotch.. that I am not spiritually tuned into the universe like she is.. that I am not as evolved as she is..
She told me that if I wanted to network in Kelowna with women in Kelowna that I had to button up.. wear a dress suite.. be just like them to fit in and not be seen as a threat.. she told me TO STOP WEIGHT LIFTING!!! She said I should have a yoga body like hers..she told me that my muscle is a threat and not feminine to men..she told me I threatened men by my warrior like energy..that I am too strong, my personality is a turn off to men..because I have such a hard body..that women and men are both threatened ..
It became clear to me that she was speaking for Kelowna Women In Business..and it seemed as if Melonie Dodaro had sent her with instructions.. ” Get her to blend or push her out.”
With that cattiness and bitchiness coming at me I intentionally planted a seed.. just to see if it would grow into a rumor .. I thought ” I will give them something to talk about” I have had that mischief in me since I can remember.. it amuses me to tinker with small minds and fearful people.. so I told Bonita that I had slept with a married man.. I told her I did it just to see what the power trip would feel like.. I thought ” If they are so afraid for their husbands this rumor should spread like wild fire.” So I wonder.. did it? I bet as soon as she left me she got on her phone texting ” What a slut..she does sleep with married men.”
Anyway.. I wasn’t root chakra damaged before the meeting with Bonita..but I was afterwards..and I still am.. I hope writing this helps me heal.. I haven’t been with a man since or even really tried to date.. This entire experience of attempting to network with such cruel people.. has made me feel like there isn’t any love in this city..there certainly has been any for me..
I am including a piece from Psychology today about Feminine Foes.. why women do this sort of shit to other women..
“”According to Benenson, a common way women deal with the threat represented by a remarkably powerful or beautiful woman is by insisting on standards of equality, uniformity, and sharing for all the women in the group and making these attributes the normative requirements of proper femininity.
Third, in extreme cases women may guard against potential competitors by means of social exclusion. If a new attractive woman shows up in the neighborhood (or school, or club), all the women in attendance may turn their backs on her, compelling her to withdraw from the scene, thus increasing their own chances with the surrounding males.”" ~Psychology Today