Being A Single Mom

I couldn’t believe how much things changed for me when I became a single mother and woman again; I know what I am about to share here on my blog hasn’t just happened to me, because I have talked to other single mom’s who say similar things.

First about 50% or more of my friends that were married started to ignore me and then just cut off contact with me; a couple of friends turned it around on me to make themselves feel better about thier abandonment of our friendship. Saying that I was just to needy or that I deserved it when my husband had an affair and left me; because I wasn’t a good enough wife; meaning I should of behaved myself.

Married women ( not all of them ) treated me differently and their husbands did to; I really felt like the shuned woman; I know that I am not alone in this, as other women of all ages told me that they experienced the same crap.

I felt it right away; moving into a town housing complex; from some of the women; I was a threat. And then the other crap; is the guilt put on me by some for wanting to have someone new in my life to love and be loved; like I am a bad mother for dating, even though my kids don’t have anything to do with it, they don’t know cause they are not home on the weekends when I do go out on a rare date.

Then its the guys that I have dated; treating me like damaged goods when they find out that my ex left me. The guys that only want sex; that don’t want to love or respect me. Dating has been a battle field! It has sucked! I feel like I am giving up hope; and I am a postive person. But I don’t; this time I just went on a paid site; Match.com; not POF were any Joe Blow can join just to play around. But I am not holding my breath!

I just can’t get over how cruel the world has been to me in the last couple of years; my horrible hateful ex; he hates me because he doesn’t want to face his own weakness with his affair and his leaving me and the kids; it’s just easier to blame me for everything. He did all the time in our marriage anyway. I am doing everything now but I did when we were married too; so really I am better off; cause I am not sleeping with him and he is a accross the Okanangan Valley! *WHEW*

But with the the selfish; cold hearted men I have dated and with the bitchy jelouse women that live in the complex with me; I have had it! I figure I am due here now UNIVERSE! This is BS; I have worked so hard to make my way; I have kept my head up high; I have kept my dignity inspite of many trying to rob me of it and I have been a great mother and brave person through all this crap.

I have worked very hard on my life and my book.

I am due a huge break through; I deserve it!

But tonight I am so tired; I have run so many errands; sent off so many emails; and handled so many important phone calls; I have cleaned, packed and organized and I still have so much to do!

Today is the day my mother died way back in 1983; I was thirteen, I have no family to help me today; and today I miss her, it’s days like this when a girl really needs her mother.

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