Posts Tagged ‘women’s worth’

Coming To My Senses

 

When I wasn’t even fully awake this morning; my eyes not yet even open, the thought that came into my consciousness was ” No more assholes.”  I was waking up in the country to open my drapes to see the snow covered mountains to the sound of the early morning train. I love the sound of the train at night and the coyotes. The coyotes sound so hauntingly beautiful and mysterious on the cold and snowy winter nights. I woke up to waking up; to a feeling of coming back to my senses or the center of myself. It was a peaceful yet a radical awakening as I realized I didn’t ever have to fight anyone for anything when I was living in the city of Kelowna. I realized I didn’t even have to move to Kelowna to create my book and I realized, I can and I will, create whatever the fuck I want, whenever I fucking want to. When I left the city I left them to their own devices and I realized upon awakening that I always should have. I should of never cared what they thought of me or how they labeled me to suit their own purposes and insecurities. There ignorance was theirs to own not for me to trouble myself with even addressing, towards giving them or their issues any of my time.

My soul feels nourished once more and I do feel whole once more and reborn into myself and my own internal power. It is like I walked back into a mirror to walk into myself. All the names that they called me and all the things that they would have me believe myself to be, have fallen away and they are with them in Kelowna.

Before I awoke to my thought of ” No more assholes.” I had a dream. In my dream I was in a hologram and I was erasing parts of the illusion until it was gone. I stepped out of the hologram and back into my own life.. and so it was that Kelowna, I was in a 6 year bad dream that I allowed to be real by accepting the illusions that others projected towards me. My dream was my subconscious becoming conscious and awakening me to myself while I awoke. It was a dream of everyday magic; and that my friends is true awareness.

I have a new attitude towards my life now, I have a new attitude towards others who question my life and me as a person ( You are not my problem and I don’t have to explain a damn thing to you about my choices or my life )

I don’t need to fight anyone to be heard. If you don’t want to hear me that is your choice and it’s my choice not to give a damn and my choice to move towards life and happiness and way from assholes.

I am not going to waste my life and that is my time here on this planet, attempting to be the asshole whisperer. I am going to walk towards the light and happiness and teach my children to do the same. I am going to spend my time and energy on people who respect me, love me and who want to hear my message. I am turning my attention towards love, hope and joy. I am being fully emotionally present with my children, as in the past asshole’s nasty energy took my energy and time away from my kids. Not anymore. I am turning my back on all those who don’t matter and giving my love and attention to those who do..including myself.

I know logically it will take another 100 years or so before women have the same sexual freedoms and rights as men. I have done my part for society and for the human race upon writing my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) available on Amazon.ca

So now I am going to let it ride on the hands of fate. I will keep writing, but I am not pushing and I am not fighting.. what is meant to be will be.. I am going to enjoy my life and peace.

Self Objectification is Almost Impossible

 

Every time I post a comment on a new’s feed on Facebook people will say to me ” Your profile picture is a contradiction. It’s silly and ironic that you say you are a feminist while you self objectify with your online image.” My online image has been a problem for me, you see others in the professional world judge me as self objectifying and so they believe this gives them an excuse to treat me with no respect or even to dehumanize me. Because of other’s judging me through a lens of ignorance I am treated by them with total disrespect, as they assume I don’t respect myself because I glorify my body and sexuality.

To get to the point. When a woman acknowledges her femininity and sexuality she isn’t objectifying herself she is whole, she understands that she is her body and her sexuality and is loving her femininity or womanhood. A woman who hates her body and runs away or denies her femininity and sees her sexuality as bad, evil, sinful or slutty is in fact practicing internalized misogyny, she thinks that stepping into her sexuality of femininity will make her less of a person or even dehumanize her to herself and to others. A woman that is internalizing misogyny is often the one calling other women who are comfortable in their bodies, sexuality and sexual expression .. sluts and whores..because she fears being called this herself by others.

Women who have internalized misogyny will often call themselves feminist, and these feminist often man up or make themselves unfeminine, these feminist often tell women who glorify and honor their femininity and sexuality that they are self objectifying and don’t deserve respect or to be taken seriously. Often these women will rage and rant online and off line about women who are whole and healthy in their sexuality because they are afraid to step into their own bodies and own themselves as whole beings.

The patriarchy; a male base social power system that runs society objectifies women by putting women into their lens of approval. Media and the entertainment industry use women to make money while paying them a fraction of what they make off of women’s sexuality. Religion and State mandate women’s wombs and bodies, and that says that women are objects. Women are either virgins or whores through the lens of patriarchy.. we are not whole human beings and our bodies are not our own to regulate as far as they are concerned. And so it is through the lens of other’s judgments that we are objectified… being sexy and sensual as a woman is not self objectification, rather it is being whole and healthy, natural and comfortable in your own skin.

The sad part about female internalized misogyny is that women have been brainwashed into hating their own bodies and sexuality as well as hating on other women. Through internalized misogyny we see other women blaming other women for being raped by judging them as asking for it by the way they present themselves as objects of desire, this is rape culture thinking.

To get down to the point of this post.. a beautiful and sexy woman isn’t self objectifying but rather you are projecting your internalized misogyny onto her ( if you are a woman ) or projecting your misogyny onto her ( if you are a man ) 

Misogynist believe that woman are here for men, that we exist for the male gaze and for male approval and that women don’t have a voice, a personality or a thought unless it has been given and validated by a man.

The patriarchy hates the feminine because it fears loosing power and control should the feminine rise to an equal balance with the masculine..and that is why the feminine and the feminine sex is repressed by hate speech, violence and rape..

But the world needs the feminine to rise so that all of humanity can become healthy, healed and whole.. so next time you see a woman expressing her femininity respect her because she is actually saving humanity from the brutality of the patriarchy, and in a spiritual understanding she is a Goddess, she is honoring The Divine Feminine.

Justin Trudeau you had me at Feminism

 

You had me at feminism but you probably will not read this poorly unedited, blog written by a self educated woman that isn’t included into your Camelot Circle. I am not a wealthy or connected person and so from what I have seen of you I will not matter. I am a commoner. I was really reminded of that watching the Royal Convoy speed past me and my children in Kelowna BC yesterday afternoon. The Liberal Government has been reminding common folk that they are common folk, as they surround themselves with only the best and most important people in the world. I simply don’t matter. I am just another number or statistic. I am just a single mother doing the single mother struggle. I am a renter caught in the middle of a greedy monster of a market brought into BC by the Chinese laundering their money through Vancouver real estate.

But anyways.. you had me at feminism, and so I watched you appoint many women into your government and I watched you support aboriginal women to work for you in your government..and then I watched you to see what actions you would take in supporting all women, all over Canada.. but I have to say that since your appointment I haven’t seen much from you. You have traveled to create positive relationships towards trade to other countries like China, you have taken multiple vacations and you always seem to be jet setting somewhere to do something ” important” you did increase family allowance and that was very helpful towards single mothers like me.. but…

Did you take notice of the Canadian judge that told a 19 year old rape victim to keep her legs together? Did you notice that he wasn’t fired right away, I have been watching the press and as far as I can tell he is still on the payroll.. So what are you going to do about it? How are you going to address and repair our judicial system towards educating judges and their misogyny?

Did you know that if a woman on welfare lives with a man for only 3 months she can have her support taken away from her as she is deemed to be in his care? Doesn’t it seem reasonable to assume then that she would be forced to stay in an abusive relationship so as not to become homeless? What are you going to do about it? Why haven’t welfare rates been raised to match inflation? Do you know how many women and children are on welfare, do you know how many children go hungry because the government refuses to give the common and poor dignity? What are you going to do about it?

Did you know that according to The Province male landlords in Vancouver are placing adds for female tenants to pay for their rent with sex? Don’t you think if women made equal pay and had the same opportunities as men that situations like this would and could be minimized? What are you going to do about it? The Province reported that the police will do nothing about it until women come forward individually. I think that is sexist and I think you should make the police.. police and put them up to an undercover sting operation.. am I the only one thinking about this? Why are you not thinking about this? Are you to busy hobnobbing with the snobs and really important people to be thinking about the common people? It seems so.

Why are you allowing rents to increase with out creating a law that stops landlords from asking for such unreasonably high rents? Why are you not capping the rent increases so that cities like Vancouver and Kelowna will be affordable and enjoyable for all Canadians? Don’t you think that if the rents were capped that it would decrease the amounts of men asking for sex as payment of rent and don’t you think it would make it easier for single parents to find homes to raise their children in? Don’t you think that capping rents would make it so that people can afford to eat? How can people afford these unreasonably high rents when working full time on minimum wage as it still puts them below the poverty line? Did you know that landlords are now making unreasonable request towards renter’s personal information and personal business because the market is so cut throat .. so they can invade on people’s right to privacy.. they are picking and preening.

Or is it more important to you to bring more Chinese money into BC to make it a tourist destination or a rich only destination to create more wealth for the wealthy?

You were born to privilege, you were born into the political life.. so are you so blinded by your upbringing that you cannot empathize with the common people and their basic needs to human rights? Is wealth and giving and getting privilege the goal?

Of course there are surmountable responsibilities towards running a country and being Prime Minister .. I would like you and I think other Canadian’s would like to see you sit your down in your office and get to work.I think it is time for you to be practical and down to earth towards the simple things that matter to the public, because you were appointed to serve us not your rich and very important friends and associates ..all women deserve equality and safety not just the select few that you have selected.

All Canadians deserve respect and dignity not just the select few that can afford to buy into a hugely inflated real estate market. I think as a Prime Minister your first course of action should of been to take care of societies most vulnerable.

But of course what do I know.. because statistically speaking, I am one of them.

“Don’t take the misogyny so personally”

 

 

 

Taking the misogyny personally was my biggest mistake upon publishing my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) and my blog/website.

Because my book and online profile contain my image and personal story my ego got in the way of me taking it all too personally. I should’t of published people’s real names on my blog because in away I was showing them and the world that they had gotten to me on a personal level..and that was unprofessional of me personally as it impacted me on a personal level more than it impacted them on a personal level. It didn’t bring the issues to justice but rather showed how naive I was to the ways of the world.

Yes, what I have done is unprecedented as there are very few women whom have freely expressed their sexuality outside of male boundaries; as we know the entire world is run through a male lens of approval in all things.. but especially female sexuality. In many ways women are slaves and we are enslaved within these boundaries that we have named and defined as ” The Glass Ceiling ” I didn’t break the glass ceiling as it still exists for all of womankind but I simply rose above it and that is called ” Thinking outside of the box.” as misogyny would have it ” Thinking outside of the box” is for men not for women as we are supposed to submit to men thinking for us. So who was I not to see that this would bring the wrath of misogyny towards me?

And so I took it all so personally, when in fact it wasn’t a personal attack it was an attack on all women to stay within the boundaries or the prison of sexual repression made for us by men; a prison that has been long standing for thousands of years..since Roman Times.. since the beginning of the Patriarchy or of religions world wide that worship male superiority. Superiority being the state of being superior to women. I flew in the face of that and so I needed to be put back into my place by both men and women that live within these boundaries. Many men whom love their misogyny because it gives them entitlement towards women and other minorities..and women who are afraid of being brutally repressed staying within the boundaries of misogyny as a softer form of punishment vs the emotional abuse inflicted on women like me for not staying in their place. It is much safer for women to stay in the place allotted to them by powerful men rather than to be punished and made an example of like I have been made an example of by a powerful man.

But I shouldn’t take this personally as this has been going on for thousands of years..it’s not personal at all but rather unconscious and conscious ways in which misogyny runs the world.

It wasn’t me personally that they or he hated it was the threat towards taking away their or his entitlement but also the enlightenment of their or his own wrong doing towards humanity as a whole. The wrong doing towards their own feminine aspects within their own psyche ..the imbalances within the self and within them outside of them towards their own female family members, friends ..etc.. it wasn’t me personally that they or he repressed but the repression of their own growth or souls worth..

The Brock Turner’s of the world and their fathers..and their father’s, father’s in essence raping the feminine of their own being by repression of all women. They repress their own humanity, they repress love as a whole by not wanting the true equality of women ..not wanting their own female children to walk the night unraped, murdered or beaten ..because breasts and vaginas are just like fingers and toes.. they are just apart of our bodies.. but the whole of women overtly sexualized for control and commodity to be bought and sold into sexual slavery.. but they enslave their own hearts and souls away from love..

But I shouldn’t of taken it personally.. because it’s been going on for thousands of years..and I am sure my book is ahead by a century.. or so.

When She Own’s It

 

How many times do I have to write about this topic before it will sink into the collective consciousness of humanity? Women’s bodies and wombs are regulated by government, a government that is male based or strongly influenced by mainly men.. we call that The Patriarchy. The Patriarchy isn’t just in religion as religion is steeped into government mandates or rules and regulations.. hence abortion always being on the table or the mandating of the womb. The control of the hand that rocks the cradle..for as the old saying goes..an old saying put froth by the Patriarchy centuries ago

” The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” and so it is that men { generalizing here} do everything to control the hand that rocks the cradle. Funny that the word ( Man ) is in ( mandate ) meaning to give over one’s authority to another. And so it is that a woman’s sexuality is only permissible if it passes through the gates of a male lens or certain standard. If a woman own’s it; if she is free with her own sexuality she is labeled as obscene and indecent. Such as the issue of women breastfeeding in public or going topless on public beaches. I suppose we need to mandate this in order to make men feel that they will not loose their sense of freedom by allowing women to have theirs.. did you notice the word ( allow ) and isn’t that just the core of the issue? How do men retain this control of women? It is simply through abuse. It is physical, financial, mental and emotional abuse.. many of these abuses we see present in the average daily relationships between men and women..but wait.. is it all his fault?

No it’s not entirely all his fault as much as it is the faulty way that society has taught all of us to view women’s sexuality through this tainted and unhealthy lens.. because these abusive patterns are rigid belief systems.. such as RELIGION .. stagnate us as the entire human race towards moving forwards to enlightenment or becoming conscious of our unhealthy and hurtful nature towards what is simply natural. A woman’s body will not make a man do evil things, or render him helpless to her sexual power.. that only happens if he tells himself that it will happen.. therefor using it as an excuse to loose power over his own common sense and better judgement not to be responsible for his own behaviors.

Quite simply the abortion and birth control debates are based on fear level thinking..not on fact or science. Seeing the human body as evil and or sinful for it’s nudity rather than seeing it as the natural beauty of art and science is also ignorant fear based thinking.. by those brainwashed by old and outdated social norms that create anything but normalcy. Shaming, blaming, controlling women and girls with the fears of violence, rape ( rape is sexual violence ) and it isn’t her rape to own.. it is his sickness to own .. financial manipulation by controlling a woman’s money .. ( society propels this by not paying women equal to men or making child care affordable.. or abortions legal..or birth control easy to access.. and then of course their is the emotional abuse )

” You crazy slut. Put some clothes on you nasty bitch. Wanna fuck whore.. you must wanna fuck because you look like you are dressed to fuck.” need I say more??? Seems I always have to say more.. falls on def ears.. ignorant ears that see my work about women’s sexuality as {Putting it out there}.. because * SHE SHOULD HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR HERSELF* I want to know how people equate a woman using her body as art in photography as me or other women not having respect for themselves? I don’t understand why you can’t be intelligent enough to catch yourself in your own knuckle dragging ignorance to not be able to see that I am doing this to prove a point here..and that is to expose ignorance and enlighten and educate the ignorant by living the message of women’s sexual freedom by being free.. so if you have half a brain you should be able to put 2 and 2 together by what I wrote above as to why I wrote my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) and as to why I use my own image and story in the book.. let me go over it once again for you ” I am owning it” do you get it now?

And of course because of doing my best to expose ignorance..to turn the light on in the dark ages, to bring about the golden light of intellectualism .. the ignorant zombies came at me x3 fold.. funny how that works.. ” Don’t make us think and evolve it’s painful.. we like our stupid stupor .” And so I have met with sexism and hatred ..with name calling.. being blacklisted and black balled ..even by those who profess spiritual enlightenment, to promote equality, women’s rights and even intellectualism.. but dysfunction dies hard..and to deviate from the norm brings social ostracization .. even if the normal in society is sick with abusive behaviors.. even if society is killing it’s self by not living to it’s full potential by keeping half the gender down and enslaved by sexual shaming and perversions..

As we know women’s sexuality can be sold by men or the Patriarchy within what they deem as worthy of sale..and so with that women are enslaved by chains around the ovaries .. by their body image being sold back to them as an impossible ideal to obtain.. we are either Madonna or Whore..Good Girl or Bad Girl.. seen through the lens of the Patriarchy a woman’s psyche is torn in 2 ..as she is no longer the Earth Mother… the natural nurturer.. she not allowed to move in her full essence and so she is drained of her full power by men who are not true men ..as mature men welcome and relish in the full essence of woman’s juicy ” Owning it.” And  also she is drained by other women shaming her due to socialized patterns of behavior ingrained into them by a sick society, they rob themselves of the Goddess within them..by denying the Goddess in other women.

And so ” When She Own’s it” when she steps into her skin unapologetic.. when she redefines the word ” Bitch” as ” Queen” and that is “”Queen Bitch to you!”" she steps into her Goddess.. and that is what frail men..insecure men are terrified of because once she own’s it, he has to grow up and own his own shit.

So if the pictures that I am using in this post offend you.. it’s therapy .. the question to be asking yourself is ” WHY?” what are your issues?

To Kiss Him

 

My heart will not forget him. I try so hard to harden my heart as his heart is hardened to me.. I tell myself ” What is meant to be will be.” but oh how I miss him..

Spring..a warm day as we sat on the beach.. and I looked into his sparkling, diamond, green eyes.. to see his soul.. a soul so sweet that I was swept off my feet.. and the walls around my heart; they did crumble and fall.. leaving me vulnerable and weak.. oh, how I miss him.

And the words ” I Love you.” they wanted to cascade off my lips like waterfalls of bliss.. but I caught them before they fell.. before they made a sound..but my heart still yelled ” You love him.” and I wondered what it would be like to kiss him..?

I watched his lips then, as he spoke his words then ..and I wondered ” How soft they seem to be.. how sweet and tender .. how would he taste to me ?.” and my heart broke wide open.. weepy and sweet like honey at his feet.. yet he seemed not to believe me..and why should he? So many bitter and broken women had come before me..speaking sweet words that were just candied poison..and so he miss read me.. for my heart is true.. and I am truth.. and I fell in love with the god within him..

And so he cast me off as days went on.. thinking me like the rest.. like the women who whispered of love and passion but hid the blade until he feel upon it.. leaving him bleeding and broken. I saw the wounds .. I felt his pain and with all my heart I wanted to mend them.. to hold him in my arms like a newborn babe .. to give him love to heal them.. to bring him light and love..to bring him joy and bliss..but he thought me to- good- to- be- true..and so he pushed me away from him.. and he did to me what they did to him..and because I understand; I forgive him..because I love him.. like a mother loves her babe.. because I know the soul within him..

So spring turned to summer..and summer to fall..now fall to winter.. under the Christmas moon.. my heart longs for him..and I wonder ” What would it be like to kiss him?” and I felt his soul brush with mine..or was it just wishful thinking.. and I saw him in my imagination.. his fuzzy beard.. his wavy hair..and then I kissed him..

A Single Mother and Sex

 

I am just in the mood to share my thoughts on what it’s like to be a single mother that gives a fuck. I give fuck about living a good life,  about my kids, my work, my body and my fitness. I give a fuck about spiritual enlightenment and about real people. There are many things I don’t give a fuck about. I don’t give a fuck about shallow, boring people and their bullshit, small talk. I don’t give a fuck about high school drama played out by adults in their mid 20s and up.. grow the fuck up.. until then not one fuck is given by me. I don’t give a fuck about the party lifestyle. I don’t give a fuck about people that make excuses. I don’t give a fuck about pity parties..and I don’t give a fuck about other single moms that put fucking asshole boyfriends ahead of their kids. I don’t give a fuck about weak ass women.,, women who do everything for men ..and nothing for their own sake or the sake of their children. I give a fuck about the things and people that matter.. the things that make you stronger.. the things that cause you to improve… I give a fuck about people who give a fuck about people and things that matter..for the rest; not one fuck is given.. ( and so I ramble ) but I don’t give a fuck because it feels good to speak my mind..and that is why I am still single. I need a man who can take it.. strait up like a shot of 100 proof truth.. I don’t want a man that needs me to become some weak bitch to make him feel like a man he obviously is not.

And so it is, that I don’t have sex and haven’t for quite sometime..but when I become interested in a guy and he starts to put his bullshit and baggage on me.. I don’t think carrying all of his past relationships and insecurities ..is worth the cock .. honestly.. there always seems to be some fucking karma involved and some other stupid girl that stalks his ass..or girls..and I think to myself ” fuck it” Because I love my mind, free and clear.. I love to think about shit like this..about writing on my blog as some rogue bad girl..misbehaving .. swearing like I own my freedom.. screaming out on text like some wild little wolf pup howling into the wind.. this is my voice.. I don’t want to give it up..for some cock LOL ( ha that made me burst out laughing like some crazy thing ) I like being crazy Gracie.. I love it and I love myself.. I don’t want some guy putting me into a box for some cock LOL..it’s just not worth it.. but of course the catch is; I like sex..but I don’t want it to be used against me to own my mind and emotions to feed some guys pathetic ego. Why do guys need to be worshiped? I don’t have the time for that shit..or rather I don’t want to spend my time worrying about if my man is going to stick his cock in that woman that flirts with him.. the one that feeds his ego more than I do..or more than I could ever want to.. I just don’t want to do it.. I want to go to the gym.. I want to write funny shit.. I want to meditate or paint or dance.. but yes it would be nice to have sex.. but why the hell does it have to cost me the freedom of being a free woman? Why the hell do guys think that to be my man he has to take up space in my head.. I feel smothered.. I am an intellect.. an artist, a free spirit.. I just can’t be a nice, well behaved girl just so that he will keep bringing his cock to me..and not put it in other girls who dumb it down just for him..

And then.. young guys or older guys ..or guys my age..

young guys want to party..

guys my age are bitter and mad at the ex wives..

older men ..well they are boring as hell..

Tis the conundrum ..the catch 22.. and because I give a fuck about the stuff that matters ( while not giving a fuck about the stuff that doesn’t ) I give a shit about love.. *Oh* there is just no winning here!

And then guys say stupid shit like ” If women made us step up by having us chase them instead of throwing themselves at us we would date women and be more romantic” I call bullshit on that..stop blaming us for your immaturity..a man needs something to chase.. my ass.. because once he has got it;  he is keeping his options open for the  next best piece of ass..because variety is the spice of life you know?

I am sorry this doesn’t come off as intellectual banter tonight..but I am a woman and so I have my moods..and tonight I am feeling like just doing whatever the fuck I want..if I had a man in my life do you think I could? Don’t you think he would be looking over my shoulder asking ” What are you writing about babe? Holy fuck you can’t write about that.. you sound like a foul mouthed bitch.. you should take out the swearing.. you should say intimacy instead of sex.. don’t put in a sexy pic either.. I don’t want guys looking at your tits.” so the question is.. is some cock worth it?

The Goddess

( From the book ~ The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ~ ) Available on Amazon.ca

The Martyr

 

You will find her busy all day and night; she seems to take on the world single handedly, she chooses suffering as service. She chooses to suffer by neglecting herself, by putting others needs before her own. Her house is never clean enough, her children never quite live up to her high standards and her mate cannot do as good of a job with the chores as she can.

 

She wears her suffering as a badge of high standing; the world owes her for her enduring suffering. She sleeps little; she doesn’t sit to eat, because she is still puttering around the kitchen. But those she serves are never at ease as they are made to feel uncomfortable with her steady glare as they sit down to eat. She is not enjoying her dinner, but you must enjoy yours to please her. But she cannot sit to eat; but you must, as it will make her happy to be unhappy.

 

She takes up every cause; she works at every charity, she works her fingers to the bone, she is out of shape, she says she doesn’t have the time for such things because someone has to do all the work; of course she means her. She tells you that it must be nice to sit and read, she tells you it must be nice to have time to have your nails done. She says she doesn’t have the time to do these indulgent things; the entire world would fall apart without her running things.

In her presents you must do as she thinks is right. Your house must be clean, just the way she cleans hers, you should live your life through your children as she does hers. She puts them first at all times, they are in all the sports and extra activities, even if it means she cannot afford things for herself. The Martyr puts herself last as all good women should. She suffers so much for you; but you don’t seem to care, she thinks, as you do not take care of her the way she takes care of you. She does everything for you; she thinks of you first, she doesn’t sleep at night so that all the coffee beans are ground just right for you. She folds all the laundry just right in the middle of the night; she gets up at 5 am to start making bread from scratch, she cleans the walls, she cans veggies from her garden and just like in the good old days; she hangs the laundry on the line. She does it all just for you. She smothers you with her advice that you are too selfish to take. She would die for you and she tells you so; but she says you don’t care enough about her to do the same.

 

Her husband pushes her away; he is so sick of the nagging, but he is spoilt by her constant care, the Martyr needs a jailor and he has taken up the role in the dysfunction by accepting and the expecting her constant care. She blames him for her over working and he blames her for his emotional misery; the circle is constant as they feed off each other’s codependence.

 

The Martyr lives in every woman to some degree as we have been taught by women throughout the centuries in these behavioral patterns. Good women cook and clean; good women do not complain; good women make the man the head of the household; good women are under him as his servant. A good women exist to make his life more comfortable at their own expense. Good women do not enjoy life; they do not play, they do not nurture themselves they nurture everyone else while becoming depleted, boring and bitter.

 

This woman is a child; she manipulates like a crying infant to get her way. What she wants is to be is the one taken care of by others, she manipulates by using her suffering to inflict guilt and shame on those she loves to bind them to her. If she gave herself love and nurturing instead of giving it all away to others she could find her emotional maturity. If she stopped playing the game of “Poor little me” she could have time to live her life instead of trying to live her life through others. The truth is she is afraid, she is scared of taking responsibility for herself, for her life and to take risks on her own of her own creations and passions. The Martyr hides behind others so that she doesn’t have to blaze her own trail; so that she doesn’t have to risk, fail and succeed on her own. The Martyr is afraid to live.

 

All women are socially conditioned to be her; we have been conditioned by princess fairytales through Hollywood; to live our lives through our men and children. It is time woman took control and responsibility of our own risk to succeed, fail and succeed.

Beautiful Menstrual Blood

 

There is power in the blood..but it isn’t in the blood of Jesus..it was in the blood of Mary, of Isis and of Inanna.. she didn’t come from his rib..he has always come from her womb..and he also had a womb within her womb.. from 0 to 8 weeks of gestation inside the womb.. he was a she..and so it is The Goddess lives within the man..and so it is that he is always trying to find away to get back home to her..but he has lost his way in attempting to claim the power of the womb for himself.. ( The Patriarchy ) are the men whom have gone astray from The Great Mother by trying to claim her blood or womb for themselves..for their own power plays.. or ego fears that if women come into the power of their wombs ..the power of life..the cradle of life that exists within them..that they would do as the egocentric Patriarchy do..and that is to use the sacred blood to control all humanity for the sake of power and greed..and so they shamed the blood of The Great Mother..and made her sex evil; she was made to cover her nursing breasts.. and not allowed to enter the male based religious temples while she bleed..as she was labeled unclean and dirty.. and so it is to this very day women are shamed into covering up..to cleaning up.. the organic nature of their nurturing, dripping fertility ..their gold.. their treasure.. buried in shame..and that is why I am writing this post as I bleed..

Today I loved myself..as I felt my body get ready to shed my red velvet lining.. like the lining of a treasure chest.. I felt very emotional.. listening to classical music; I felt my bottom lip quiver ..as the music fit so tenderly with my tender heart and womb.. I was wakened in the middle of the night with cramps..and crazy dreams.. and I knew.. it was time to be tender with myself..

Every time I bleed I think of my past pregnancies..and I think about how my children grew inside of me using my blood for a bed.. using my body for comfort and food..and because my breast are tender like they were during pregnancy, I think about how much I loved nurturing each one of my children with my breast milk.. I think about how my body and every women’s body is a wonderland.. is magic.. how sensual we are.. just like the Earth herself..how she holds our lives by the dirt under our feet..that what we think of as dirty like menstrual blood..is organic and fertile.. and I feel intense emotion and love for The Great Mother..and I feel one with her.. and I feel that I am lying at her breasts.. nestled in her great cradle of life..and I think women’s blood is gold… golden and rich with possibilities ..

But then I remember all the shame I encountered as a young woman..only being 10 when I first bleed.. the shame put onto me by society.. not to smell like blood, not to leak blood.. not show the lump in my paints that my pad made.. how horrible gym was.. how awful the boys were.. how intolerant and even cruel male teachers could be.. I remember feeling that way into my 20s.. how sad a society that we treat girls and woman like dirty little things.. for having wombs and breasts..for having the power within them to create life..to chose to nurture life or not to ..

Now I am 45..and I have bled for 35 years..and now that I know my blood is sacred.. now that I know my blood is magic..soon I will enter a new phase..the dark moon phase of The Goddess.. when my womb will no longer bleed.. but now my womb has taught me wisdom..and that is The Dark Moon Phase.. I am wise.. wise to the ways of the womb and the blood.. and it is my place to teach the Maidens.. those entering into the New Moon Phase.. to teach them to honor their blood.. to see their blood as sacred .. of ancient red gold.. to teach new mothers in the Full Moon Phase of The Goddess.. to nurse uncovered.. to nurse without shame.. to wear the pregnant bellies without shame.. to love their round Full Moon..and flowing Milky Way breasts..as the Milky Way is the Milk of Isis..

And It is my duty to teach men who are conscious and ready… ready to be initiated into the ways of The Great Mother..ready to come home to the womb.. it is my duty as a Goddess.. to show them the way back to their MOTHER .. away from controlling and shaming women.. to honoring, loving and supporting The Goddesses in their lives.. this is the way to his Godhead..to his Inner God.. to see the sacredness in the womb.. the womb that birthed him..the womb he longs for.. the womb that was once his very own..while he lived within the womb.. and this is the infinite wisdom of the ancients.. let it be birthed again through the blood… for we will be saved by the blood of The Goddess… by her compassion.

Whores want ATTENTION!

Or she isn’t doing it for attention.. you are a fucking asshole.. a misogynistic woman hating; chauvinist pig.. and you hate her because you can’t have her.. because she knows you are a misogynist, woman hating pig..and she wouldn’t let you touch her with another woman’s vagina..or another man’s dick..

She is pretty you are a piece of crap.. she isn’t a whore.. whore is a subjective term used by men like you.. and so what if she wants attention; it’s normal to want attention from the opposite sex when your looking for a mate, for both men and women. .. it’s her body to do with what she wants.. go fuck yourself.

The END..

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