Posts Tagged ‘Women’s sexuality’

Self Objectification is Almost Impossible

 

Every time I post a comment on a new’s feed on Facebook people will say to me ” Your profile picture is a contradiction. It’s silly and ironic that you say you are a feminist while you self objectify with your online image.” My online image has been a problem for me, you see others in the professional world judge me as self objectifying and so they believe this gives them an excuse to treat me with no respect or even to dehumanize me. Because of other’s judging me through a lens of ignorance I am treated by them with total disrespect, as they assume I don’t respect myself because I glorify my body and sexuality.

To get to the point. When a woman acknowledges her femininity and sexuality she isn’t objectifying herself she is whole, she understands that she is her body and her sexuality and is loving her femininity or womanhood. A woman who hates her body and runs away or denies her femininity and sees her sexuality as bad, evil, sinful or slutty is in fact practicing internalized misogyny, she thinks that stepping into her sexuality of femininity will make her less of a person or even dehumanize her to herself and to others. A woman that is internalizing misogyny is often the one calling other women who are comfortable in their bodies, sexuality and sexual expression .. sluts and whores..because she fears being called this herself by others.

Women who have internalized misogyny will often call themselves feminist, and these feminist often man up or make themselves unfeminine, these feminist often tell women who glorify and honor their femininity and sexuality that they are self objectifying and don’t deserve respect or to be taken seriously. Often these women will rage and rant online and off line about women who are whole and healthy in their sexuality because they are afraid to step into their own bodies and own themselves as whole beings.

The patriarchy; a male base social power system that runs society objectifies women by putting women into their lens of approval. Media and the entertainment industry use women to make money while paying them a fraction of what they make off of women’s sexuality. Religion and State mandate women’s wombs and bodies, and that says that women are objects. Women are either virgins or whores through the lens of patriarchy.. we are not whole human beings and our bodies are not our own to regulate as far as they are concerned. And so it is through the lens of other’s judgments that we are objectified… being sexy and sensual as a woman is not self objectification, rather it is being whole and healthy, natural and comfortable in your own skin.

The sad part about female internalized misogyny is that women have been brainwashed into hating their own bodies and sexuality as well as hating on other women. Through internalized misogyny we see other women blaming other women for being raped by judging them as asking for it by the way they present themselves as objects of desire, this is rape culture thinking.

To get down to the point of this post.. a beautiful and sexy woman isn’t self objectifying but rather you are projecting your internalized misogyny onto her ( if you are a woman ) or projecting your misogyny onto her ( if you are a man ) 

Misogynist believe that woman are here for men, that we exist for the male gaze and for male approval and that women don’t have a voice, a personality or a thought unless it has been given and validated by a man.

The patriarchy hates the feminine because it fears loosing power and control should the feminine rise to an equal balance with the masculine..and that is why the feminine and the feminine sex is repressed by hate speech, violence and rape..

But the world needs the feminine to rise so that all of humanity can become healthy, healed and whole.. so next time you see a woman expressing her femininity respect her because she is actually saving humanity from the brutality of the patriarchy, and in a spiritual understanding she is a Goddess, she is honoring The Divine Feminine.

Wonder Woman/ United Nations/Sexual Repression of Women

 

http://www.cbc.ca/news/entertainment/wonder-woman-un-ambassador-over-1.3893625

“Although the original creators may have intended Wonder Woman to represent a strong and independent ‘warrior’ woman with a feminist message, the reality is that the character’s current iteration is that of a large breasted, white woman of impossible proportions, scantily clad in a shimmery, thigh-baring body suit,” the petition read.

Lynda Carter the actress who played Wonder Woman is Hispanic but the fictional character or the Goddess Archetype of Wonder Woman was Greek not white for starters. The statement above is a sexually repressive statement “a large breasted, white woman of impossible proportions, scantily clad in a shimmery, thigh-baring body suit” what it insinuates is that if a woman shows her breasts and thighs she isn’t empowered and isn’t to be taken seriously..and that is sexual repression. This sexually repressive attitude towards women’s bodies and the way they dress themselves trickles down to women being shamed for breastfeeding in public or wearing the wrong thing, at the wrong time, in the wrong place with the wrong man..that lead to HER rape. The statement is stating that women who are sexual and or beautiful, women who are being sexy and or feminine are not empowered but are disempowered, therefore they cannot empower other women.

I want to make this really clear; the reason I show my femininity and or my thighs and breasts in my photography is to own my body and my sexuality on my own terms. The reason I wrote my book ( The Goddess, an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) ~ by Gracie Ackerman.. was to fly in the face of conformity and in the face of a sickened society that is sickened by the patriarchy owning women’s sexuality by repressing us or selling us on their terms. I want to make this perfectly clear * ** as long as women are sexually repressed they will never be free; by being free I mean that they will never have the same human rights and privileges as men*** a man will never be asked if he is raped or beaten ” What were you wearing? Why were you intoxicated? Why were you out so late at night with a bunch of women alone? Did you let them kiss you?” that’s what I mean by human rights and freedom. The freedom to not have the double standards thrown in our faces as a way to control our every thought.. the right not to have to think about { minimizing our risk } or minimizing the amount of cleavage or thigh we show before leaving our home.

I do believe that a woman’s super power is in being in the fullness of her womanhood; in whatever way that looks like to her, in however she defines her femininity or Inner Goddess, be she modest or free in her body. I grew up watching Lynda Carter play Wonder Woman, I have  the DVD collection right by my TV. Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman inspired me to write my book and this blog, she was a huge force in inspiring me. Wonder Woman was both the Artemis and the Venus, this is an ancient understanding or archetype in all women. She is both the virgin and the sexually experienced woman, she is the lover and the warrior. To rip women’s sexuality away from her empowerment is to render her powerless!!!!!!! This stinks of the patriarchy that condescends and controls women like sex slaves. Women become either dumbed down martyrs or whores to be treated as sexual objects to be sold for male profit. We see women being used and sold for profit by the entertainment industry, the beauty industry and by religion that is actually an untaxed business, a business that bases it’s funds on the sexual repression of women.

Feminists are not fugly. When women feel the need to dress and act like men in a corporate world to be taken seriously they have become prisoners of a society that is sickened by the imbalance caused by the repression of women. The Fugly Feminist ~ a woman who purposefully covers up her sexuality to look less attractive or feminine so that she doesn’t distract her male co-workers and so that she will be taken seriously in the conservative business world

Another example of the patriarchy owning women’s sexuality is that it tells women what body type is or isn’t sexy and expects all women to fit into these imposed norms, just recently The Province posted a story about Kim Kardashian’s more heavy set and curvy body setting a trend through Playboy towards allowing women to put on more weight. I just cannot believe a new’s paper would write and publish a story for Playboy towards telling women what men or the patriarchy wants us to look like. In reality the answer is look like who you are! For fuck sakes!!! What century is this!!!!?

Now we have Trump; a out -of -the -closet misogynist, about to step into the powerful role of running modern America! I man who bases the way a woman looks appealing to his eye as to her value in society.. but gawd forbid Wonder Woman should be a role model towards girls and women owning their own sexuality on their own terms.. gawd for bid women should own their bodies at all..as we all know that Trump thinks abortion is murder and that women should starve themselves thin in order to please him and his corporate world..

With sex shaming Wonder Woman we have sex shamed all women.. even way back in the ancient culture of Greece, the philosophers and politicians knew better..

Humanity is slipping back into the tar sands.. we are devolving as our civilization is degenerating into a mediocrity that causes us to become complacently abused.

Nasty, Naughty or Nice?

I never thought I would ever apologize to W. Brett Wilson; but this is my official public apology.

I am not going to make him into Mr. Perfect or me into Mrs. Perfect.

He was wrong for allowing the staff at his gym to bully me by treating me with prejudice. He allowed it because it was simply inconvenient for him to bother with. But by allowing it, he was not being the solution but he was being apart of the problem. But I am not perfect either. I responded poorly and I bullied him by sharing nude pictures of him from a trolling twitter account that I believe was set up by Mary Zilba and her friends. I didn’t know that at the time. I was duped by my own anger that made me blind to my own stupidity. So I responded to his staff’s poor behavior by becoming a bully myself. And so I apologize to him for that. Two wrongs just create more wrong.

I could be wrong that it was Mary and her friends that set up that account and contacted me with it; I could be wrong that they saw my rage and war with him as an opportunity to get back at him for not wanting to be in a committed relationship with her. She and her friends may not have written The Dirty on him? I could be wrong.

But one thing is for sure, Mary doesn’t know the first thing about what it is really like to be bullied or be labeled as a Nasty Woman. Her online profile is a metaphor for mediocrity and as to .. how to be a nice girl. I don’t know how a woman that is so fake can profess to be about women’s empowerment when she herself is afraid to fully express herself. She is afraid to age and she stands for a beauty industry that sells women back to themselves washed out and disempowered, not empowered by their own original and raw beauty.

I find these perfected beauty standards being sold as women’s empowerment to be quite troubling and they can simply washout the entire cause for true women’s empowerment by making it just more commercialism .. more plastic perfected, bullshit not meant to empower women but as more media confusion leading women away from themselves.

Mary stands for a beauty industry that makes women feel powerless by comparing themselves to impossible standards of beauty. Like never aging and being ashamed of your real age. This isn’t empowerment and is more of the double standards and the promotion of cattiness vs a real sisterhood.

We see media twisting the real message to empower elite women vs the everyday woman doing women’s work that is always given lesser value.

We are meant to look up to women like Mary while they look down on us and throw us crumbs by making us their charities.

It is very troubling indeed..

But then again I suppose my bitterness is nasty while Mary hashtags herself as #NastyWoman to promote  ( I don’t know what? ) seems like Disney Princess shit to me..

Not a woman who is raw and open and willing to get Nasty in and out of the bedroom.. not a woman who isn’t afraid to be her true authentic self..

Hilary Clinton’s Defeat Is Not The Dealth Of Feminism

 

 

Hilary lost because she lost the trust of the people. It wasn’t because she was a woman. Yes she was up against a misogynist and Donald Trump being a misogynist makes it appear to the common public that misogyny won. But Hilary isn’t every woman and Donald Trump isn’t every man. Yet we seem to need to simplify everything to comfort ourselves from the complications.

Yet Donald Trump’s political strategy was simple, as it focused on the common people. Donald Trump focused on the fact that politically correct speech is causing humanity to loose the art of debate. Frankly when we have to watch everything we say due to offending others intentionally or non intentionally, then the issues get washed out and non addressed. Being overly politically correct has caused suppression in communications and without proper communication debate is dead. With out proper debate democracy dies along with it. Donald knew he was releasing the tension and that releasing the tension was the catalyst to his rise.. but more importantly Hilary herself was not a good candidate… she has a weak character. It was quite clear that Hilary was wishy washy and manipulative; and a real feminist would not use feminism as a platform because running for president clearly stated that fact, by that action.

In my opinion Hilary was using feminism and feminist as manipulation. Hilary is funded by large private corporations that clearly run the press and the press is using feminism ( private corporations through Hilary ) to cause division of the people by labeling Hilary’s loss as all women’s defeat. All women and feminism wasn’t defeated by one woman’s loss; a woman that lied to the people about her own criminal activity and who is still being investigated for her criminal activity.. this is Hilary’s to own, not for all women to own. Once all women believe that Hilary’s loss is our loss than our freedom and equality are at even a greater risk than before the election .. because then manipulation has taken our own personal power away and given it to misogynist and misogyny. When we loose hope we loose. Don’t give up hope and never give your power away.!

Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton both were able to run for president because the level consciousness and personal accountability by the public has fallen that low. We the people are responsible for this mess because we keep looking towards horribly flawed leaders to lead us and our lives vs taking responsibility for our own choices. We have allowed ourselves to be lured by the press and media by sweet lies and bullshit. We have chosen fake over real.. just like we wanted to believe the media hype and propaganda of Hilary standing for all the women and girls.. for all the feminist of the world.. I don’t believe Hilary was a feminist..but I do believe she was an opportunist and the platform of feminism gave her the opportunity to boost her political profile up.. it is all just a story.. it is all a fabrication as is Donald Trump.. the world is but a stage..

Who do we have to blame for this mess but ourselves.. all of us all plugged into cell phones, Facebook, Twitter… etc.. etc..

We have become a world wide culture of bitching, whimpering babies .. pointing fingers at each other.. it’s some else’s fault.

Donald Trump is in essence the concentration of the TV generation.. every sitcom and reality show that we have watched since the 1950s.. and then we wonder why he is now the president.

Justin Trudeau is the Canadian equivalent of the same.. just a pretty wrapped up box of empty promises..but how fake and politically correct he is..and he does it so well!!!

Hilary’s emails to Justin Trudeau address using feminism as a platform to boost her votes..

Once again Hilary’s loss isn’t a loss for all women.. the loss is that so many women believe it is and fell for the empty box of fake political propaganda…

It’s all bullshit people. Stop taking too personally ..don’t you realize it wasn’t ever personal.

Just maybe when Donald Trump called her ” A nasty woman” he should of made it more politically correct and said ” Nasty person.” or would that have just washed out the debate..or can we really have mature and focused debate without everyone taking it personally.. towards their own personhood?

We are bunch of ninnies and that is why Donald Trump is president.. he is the manifestation of this level of consciousness and the level of intellect that now resides over this *modern world* !MESS!

So lets just all suck it up and face our part in the destruction of democracy and intelligence.

If we are ever going to fix this mess; we need to start practicing the art of debate and forward communications; if we learn to see more and communicate through the lens of intellect and fact over the superficial and overly emotional; we will be able to effectively listen..listening is the other side of public communication that is now missing! We are too busy listening to respond rather than listening to listen, that we miss communicate constantly. Our miss communications or lack of listening are geared towards the other person by blaming them for not communicating in away that we are comfortable in hearing.. how can we communicate at all? This is not a war of the sexes.. this is the war against the intellect and critical thinking… 

Critical Thinking is becoming extinct ..and along with the death critical thought.. humanity will soon follow..

The lesson in this post is to think for yourself..see past the political propaganda and come to your own conclusions, than use said conclusions towards taking positive actions in your own life to create the change you seek. Maybe then mass consciousness will manifest better leaders.

“Don’t take the misogyny so personally”

 

 

 

Taking the misogyny personally was my biggest mistake upon publishing my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) and my blog/website.

Because my book and online profile contain my image and personal story my ego got in the way of me taking it all too personally. I should’t of published people’s real names on my blog because in away I was showing them and the world that they had gotten to me on a personal level..and that was unprofessional of me personally as it impacted me on a personal level more than it impacted them on a personal level. It didn’t bring the issues to justice but rather showed how naive I was to the ways of the world.

Yes, what I have done is unprecedented as there are very few women whom have freely expressed their sexuality outside of male boundaries; as we know the entire world is run through a male lens of approval in all things.. but especially female sexuality. In many ways women are slaves and we are enslaved within these boundaries that we have named and defined as ” The Glass Ceiling ” I didn’t break the glass ceiling as it still exists for all of womankind but I simply rose above it and that is called ” Thinking outside of the box.” as misogyny would have it ” Thinking outside of the box” is for men not for women as we are supposed to submit to men thinking for us. So who was I not to see that this would bring the wrath of misogyny towards me?

And so I took it all so personally, when in fact it wasn’t a personal attack it was an attack on all women to stay within the boundaries or the prison of sexual repression made for us by men; a prison that has been long standing for thousands of years..since Roman Times.. since the beginning of the Patriarchy or of religions world wide that worship male superiority. Superiority being the state of being superior to women. I flew in the face of that and so I needed to be put back into my place by both men and women that live within these boundaries. Many men whom love their misogyny because it gives them entitlement towards women and other minorities..and women who are afraid of being brutally repressed staying within the boundaries of misogyny as a softer form of punishment vs the emotional abuse inflicted on women like me for not staying in their place. It is much safer for women to stay in the place allotted to them by powerful men rather than to be punished and made an example of like I have been made an example of by a powerful man.

But I shouldn’t take this personally as this has been going on for thousands of years..it’s not personal at all but rather unconscious and conscious ways in which misogyny runs the world.

It wasn’t me personally that they or he hated it was the threat towards taking away their or his entitlement but also the enlightenment of their or his own wrong doing towards humanity as a whole. The wrong doing towards their own feminine aspects within their own psyche ..the imbalances within the self and within them outside of them towards their own female family members, friends ..etc.. it wasn’t me personally that they or he repressed but the repression of their own growth or souls worth..

The Brock Turner’s of the world and their fathers..and their father’s, father’s in essence raping the feminine of their own being by repression of all women. They repress their own humanity, they repress love as a whole by not wanting the true equality of women ..not wanting their own female children to walk the night unraped, murdered or beaten ..because breasts and vaginas are just like fingers and toes.. they are just apart of our bodies.. but the whole of women overtly sexualized for control and commodity to be bought and sold into sexual slavery.. but they enslave their own hearts and souls away from love..

But I shouldn’t of taken it personally.. because it’s been going on for thousands of years..and I am sure my book is ahead by a century.. or so.

The Seduction of Kelownafornia

 

Before I moved to Kelowna to start over after separating from my cheating husband, I was the type of person that loved simplicity, nature and spirituality. I loved staying at home with my children and working part time on the family business from our 110 year old farm house. I have always been intensely spiritual and very physical. I really enjoy working outside and being with nature on a spiritual level. I have never been one for crowds nor do I need a lot of friends. My circle has always been small due to my spiritual sensitivity that makes me emotionally sensitive. I had no idea that Kelowna would make me into a monster eventually.

I am not what they made me into. I am a home body; I love to cook healthy meals, garden, and be domestic. I like to keep my home clean and fresh because it makes me feel good, and on a spiritual level it keeps my energy flowing..on the level of intellect and intelligence it is a metaphor for a well organized mind. I am much the same with my athletics, and before I had my children I was also very athletic..and so athletics keep my energy grounded due to me being very whimsical and spiritual.. being physical keeps me here on the earthly plane. I am not what they ( Kelowna society ) made me into.

When I first moved to Kelowna as a single mother who had just lost the baby weight, I came across jealous and catty women. I am not like that and I have been naive to women like that. I honesty didn’t know what to do with the catty and bitchy behaviors and so I sometimes blamed myself. But that was just the beginning.

I am an artist, writer and spiritualist. Since I was a young girl I had the dream and vision of writing my book { The Goddess, and Expression of the Divine Feminine } so when our marital house sold and I had the money to produce and self publish the book I joyfully undertook my spiritual mission. By my unworldiness I had no idea how horribly it would be received by Kelowna society and culture. I was so naive and childlike to think that it wouldn’t not just offend many but intimidate many as well. Not only did it intimidate many but it also branded me as a gold digger and whore..and I was treated as such. I was systematically shut out of society ..now to the point that I cannot be employed due to what I have online to promote my book as the subject matter is freeing women from sexual repression and I am topless in some of the photography that expresses the Goddess in typical Greek fashion. Now I know.. you would think that it’s art and so artist should be free to express themselves and then move about society freely and with all their rights intact.. but women’s rights have so much father to go and we haven’t even begun to free women from repression as my personal story proves.

I also refused to meet personally and alone with a very wealthy man that is basically The King of Kelowna, that own’s businesses and land in Kelowna.. he showed me how powerful and worldly he is by having me thrown out of all privately owned local gyms in Kelowna.. I have had to take down everything I wrote about my experiences with him so that he doesn’t continue to attempt to crush me by attempting to make me suicidal or to actually suicide. So yes in that way he has won. I am the weaker in the fact that he has the ability to pull strings like a puppet master and make people do horrible things for his favor.. but did I miss a golden gold-digging opportunity or did I escape with my soul?

How do I forgive all of these people? How do I forgive a man who could of shown me mercy but showed me only pure cruelty? I forgive them because I have to; I have to forgive them because I don’t want to become them. I was becoming them while trying to fight them. I was becoming them by becoming bitter because justice wouldn’t come.. mercy wasn’t to come to me by them and so I have to have mercy upon myself by releasing them so that I can go back to myself..because they branded me The Seductress while they seduced me into their worldly mess of over competition and affluent-disease. You see everyone wants to be rich here at all costs and they compete against each other ruthlessly to obtain more than others. They compete against each other in the fitness community as nothing is ever good enough and then they make themselves sick by over dieting and over working their bodies..they make themselves sick with jealousy and greed.. and they pulled me in and seduced me with inflicting their ruthless nature onto me..and I lost myself as their names or branding stuck to me like a mask, covering my true divine nature. Kelowna’s spiritual community is also a reflection of Kelowna as those involved compete to be the most enlightened and of course that leads them away from true enlightenment. True enlightenment comes from being present in our humanity not by denying our basic human nature. Spiritual detachment doesn’t mean being detached from empathy and compassion towards other’s struggles or suffering..but we accept suffering to move through suffering; we move through suffering by seeing the gifts of wisdom found in that suffering..and so Kelowna’s spiritual community is lacking in wisdom and true depth.

When I wrote my book I didn’t know what ” Business Branding ” was ? I was just a child-like artist with a wonderful idea; I was just a spiritualist that wanted to gift the world with The Divine Feminine to help humanity find balance and peace. I was just an nerdy intellectual that wished to help educate the ignorant to enlighten..but to them, I just thought I was ” all that ” to them I was competing and trying to reel in rich men like The King of Kelowna..

I got caught up in the rat race.. on a hamster wheel going nowhere because I didn’t ever want to get to where they are.

I am so glad I was pushed out now. I am so glad to be moving out of Kelowna back to me and back to simplicity.

I can hardly wait to find my quiet and solitude so that I can hear my spirit guides and the Goddess speak to me that much clearer.. I finally see though the fog and confusion.. and I am leaving it all behind..

To garden, paint, write and run like a child in the sun.

Why women are afraid to be feminists

 

I think the image posted above pretty much sums it up. Women are afraid to say they are feminist to men or take on the label of feminist because they don’t want to appear to be less feminine to men, they don’t want men to think that they are ” Man haters” and they don’t want men to think that they wish to emasculate them.

Women, young and old; fear that if they seem too independent, opinionated or forceful { assertive } that they will scare men off..or even worse incur their wrath, and so they will refrain from calling themselves Feminists. Of course women have good reasons towards these fears as they do happen quite often; because feminism has been branded that way overtime. The first Feminist who had to fight for the rights of women to vote, to be educated and not to be men’s property..and to own property in their own names had to be .. what would be considered ” Ball Breakers.”  see.. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suffragette

The Suffragette’s and other movements like this, ready did suffer for all women today, as they were imprisoned and put themselves through hunger strikes.. they were also beaten while protesting. They truly did stir up the wrath of the Patriarchy just so they and all women today could be seen as people rather than property to be owned by their father’s and husbands.

We still do risk the wrath of men today by being denied by some of them { love and protection } but by women not being willing to take a stand for their rights and the rights of the future generations we will be doomed to repeat the same dysfunctional patterns of behavior that has caused our society to be sickened with violence and injustices of all kinds.

Many groups of people are stripped of their basic human rights due to ignorance and prejudice and that is why groups like ” Black Lives Matter.” really do matter and that is why we have ” Gay Rights Parades” to draw attention to the fact that they are targets for abuse, because they often have their basic human rights stripped of them due to sex, sexual orientation or skin color.

There is no need of ” Manists” since they are not asking for equality but rather trying to maintain their power over minorities; this isn’t equality but rather emotional and mental abuse and bigotry.

The point is .. we need to redefine feminism by eroding the stereotype of what a feminist is as a person; I am a feminist and I don’t hate men. I am a feminist and I don’t wish to rule over men but like most feminist; men and women, I wish to be given equal opportunity, equal rights and equal pay for equal work and talents.. or intellect.

What feminism needs to be ultra successful are both equal male and female numbers; in saying that the Gay Rights Movement needs all of us to see that equal rights for everyone are equal rights for all of us.. and we need people of all skin colors to see that we must all stand for ” Black Lives Matter.” to create true justice and equality for all humanity. There is only one race and that  the human race.

As a Canadian I am proud of my Prime Minister Justin Trudeau for calling himself a feminist, thereby encouraging other men to step up and other women to come out of the feminist closet. I am hoping that within time Mr. Trudeau will implement equal pay, equal opportunity and equal rights.. I am sure he is working on it as am I making my voice matter upon writing this blog post.

As time goes on everything changes; as we know better we do better.. our Feminist Great Grandmothers had to be ball breakers as they were breaking out of this Patriarchy Prison; they had to do what they had to do..but things change when circumstances change. Lets all educate ourselves towards breaking free of ignorance towards enlightenment, to create true equality and justice for all.

 

She isn’t safe to express her sexuality because….

I was just having a conversation about women’s sexuality with my 16 yo daughter over a dinner of homemade nachos.. she came out of her room demanding to be fed just half hour before..saying ” Mom when are you going to make food?” Teenagers are strange animals. They hide in their rooms until feeding time. ;)

So as we ate we talked about ” The Game of Thrones” about how she and her 14 yo sister are not allowed to watch it because of the almost pornographic sex scenes. Then my oldest said ” We watched people actually have sex in a documentary at school mom; penises and vaginas are not pretty and romantic at all..” then I said jokingly ” It depends on who’s junk it is.” my 14 yo thought that was funny. Then my 16 yo said ” Girls don’t want or like sex as much as guys do mom.” I told her this..

Most women and girls do like sex just as much as men and most women and girls are just as visual as men. Penis size does matter to most women unless she actually does have a lower sex drive .. that does happen to some women and men equally, but most of the time women need an average size penis to be satisfied. The problem with dating or being in a relationship with a man that has a much smaller than average penis is that he will more than likely be very insure and suffer from having a complex. Complexes make people act out, or project their insecurities onto their lovers.

The difference with men and women is due to how society portrays both the sexes sexuality. Men are free to express their sexuality and by watching porn and other media they are taught and encouraged to put women into one of two categories ( Good Girl or Bad Girl ) women are also slut shamed into seeing themselves as being possibly branded by society into ( Bad Girl or Slut.. asking for it..that is disrespect ) if they should express their sexuality as freely as a man would..

For instance a woman is judged for showing too much skin..even at the beach were she is expected to wear a swim suit..but a man can walk out in public topless just about anywhere and not be stared at or glared at.. he will not be given negative body language or told to cover up. A man can freely brag about his sex life and talk openly to others about his conquest ..he is free to adventure into many sexual appetites .. while women are given the magic number of 10.. { There was a movie made about that } if a woman sleeps with more than 10 men in her lifetime she is easy and not respecting herself. A woman is judged as not being respectable by how she does or doesn’t control her sexual appetites ..and so we come to the issue of her feeling safe..

If a woman doesn’t feel safe she cannot mentally give herself permission to be sexually aroused. A women’s sexual arousal starts with feeling safe and secure around men. The problem in our society is that men are given the entitlement through being socialized by religion and media to sexually discriminate against, become sexually violent against ( Rape ) or verbally abuse women whom they deem as disrespecting themselves by how they present themselves to them..and so most women would be just as ready to have sex as most men are, if they had the same freedoms to express their sexual nature in our cultures. Of course the more extreme the culture is against women’s sexual expression and therefor freedoms or personal rights.. the more likely it is that these women themselves are sexually repressed from within due to fear.

My daughter also expressed that the girls in her school that only date girls seem to be freer in expressing their sexuality among themselves .. I told her ” It is because other women are less likely to shame their same female partners whom they are having sex with, because they are women to women; they understand the need to feel safe and nurtured to be turned on. It is also much less likely that another women will beat or rape another women due to using sex as a weapon of control. It is quite possible that, that is the reason most girls experiment with girls or even prefer girls to men.. it is because they feel safe.”

So how do we stop this from happening?

The answer is by me writing things like this; society needs to be educated. Also by women like me walking free in there sexuality.

I had someone ask me today if I do sex work because I told them my book and website are based on women’s sexuality and sacred sexuality.. but do you see how ignorant the question was? To assume that I sell my body because I write and talk openly in a mature and cultured manner about sexuality.. just shows how far the social stigmas have to go before they are broken down.

But if I was a old lady with a million PHDs.. basically not sexy .. it would be acceptable of course.. because society views women’s sexuality as too potent and hot.. too taboo..

How silly is that?

So we have made women world wide stifle their sexuality in fear and then men complain when it’s hard to get some.. oh the irony!

The Goddess in Every Woman

 

The simplified definition of a Goddess is a woman who lives her life in balance.

The opposite of a Goddess is a woman who is a martyr. A martyr is someone who suffers for others. A woman in her Goddess or who has brought her Inner Goddess to the surface ” made conscious of the fact that she deserves love and respect ” refuses to allow herself to be used or abused. She isn’t going to attempt to save others who are not worthy of her time or energy; she will not give herself or time to others who take her for granted.

A Goddess understands that she needs to fill her metaphorical cup first to overflowing before she can nurture others with her love and time. A Goddess knows that she deserves the first sip of her cup of love; simply because she must love herself first to truly love those around her.

We see society making women into martyrs by socializing women into being nice girls that give and give and give until they are totally depleted, bitter, frustrated { including sexually frustrated } and angry.. an unheard anger that can simmer under the surface as rage.

I have been researching other authors or bloggers post about how they believe a Goddess should be ” She would walk with her heart fully open. She should be full of grace and sweetness. She should give unconditional love. She should be very beautiful. She should always be forgiving. She should be giving always. She should wear light make up. She should look natural. She respects herself by not having sex with multiple partners as she is saving herself for The Divine Masculine man.” etc.. etc.. these so called Goddess attributes or characteristics are not of the Goddess archetype but rather of the Saint or Martyr archetypes .. The Goddess would be considered to be more hedonistic as she has an appetite for pleasure. Yes she is compassionate, loving and beautiful within the right context.. but she is also assertive, strong, powerful and a force to be reckoned with. We must also reason that beauty is in the eye of the beholder .. and so the Goddess is analysed into or organized into multiple templates of archetypes…because yes that is how complicated womanhood is.. she is the trinity; The Maiden. Mother and Crone.. Daughter, Mother and Grandmother.. and she is also

Mawu or Gaia – Mother Earth.. all that is natural

Artemis – Guardian.. huntress

Ishtar – Sacred Whore, lover, Mother and Savior

Sophia – Holy Spirit, wisdom and female God

Freyja – Female Warrior

Kali – The Beginning and the End, the infinite of death and life. The Destroyer!

Maat – Justice and fairness; the Universal Law

Bast – Independent and vengeful

Isis – Mother of Creation and Culture

Vesta – Domesticated house wife

Venus – Love, lust and beauty or hedonist

A woman in her Goddess is authentically who she is with out apology, she is her own beauty in it’s unique form; she is an individual. A Goddess has learned her lessons from the Crone aspects of her own psyche..from the Baba Yaga within her, that has shown her the world is full of beauty and ugliness.. that a wise woman doesn’t leave her heart open to strangers.. first she tests them with riddles and waits upon their responses and actions.. in other words.. you have to earn her total trust..and because she is wise to the ways of the world by trusting her own intuition she trust herself above all others.

As you see it has very little to do with attracting men.. that was another post that I read written by a man. She isn’t enlightened, awakened or walking in her Goddess for a man as his approval isn’t needed..and that is essence is a true Goddess.. Your approval isn’t needed!

A Goddess isn’t ashamed of her body, or her sexuality, she doesn’t hide or make small.. she isn’t here to save your ass.. or to entertain men’s fancies.. she is here to save her own ass. The Goddess will not carry your cross ” Your inner baggage.” nope..she will set it down beside you and leave you to it while she continues on her own path of spiritual enlightenment.. she isn’t Christ or a Saint .. she is Goddess..

She has sex the way she wants to with whom she wants to, and spends her time the way she wants to with out feeling any martyr guilt.. why should she; that’s your shit?

She values herself by knowing her time is valuable so don’t count on taking up space in her head either.. she has better things to do. She knows the value of the moment.

So as you see this is a very realistic definition of a Goddess.. and I think really one of the only true definitions that you will find online..that isn’t flaky and hokey.

Imagine a world were women stopped allowing the world to use them? A world were women’s time was just as valuable as a man’s time? Imagine the balance outside in the world if it was within each and every woman? Imagine her taking time for self care and nurturing? Imagine women satisfied in and out of the bedroom? What a happy world this would be.. but it starts with women drawing boundary lines..it starts with women saying ” No! I don’t have endless time and energy to give away.. I am saving some of me for me!” We would all be better off.

Of course we need men to balance their inner Goddess so that she can be a God too.. it’s perfectly acceptable for men to nurture themselves by expressing and exploring their inner emotional worlds. So as you can conclude being of The Divine Masculine and Feminine simply means to balance your inner world or archetypes { Anima and Animus } to find inner peace or enlightenment… this isn’t just flaky spiritual stuff, this is psychology..

So to those who put on the mask of being enlightened .. who call themselves Goddess of this that or the other, or Shaman so and so.. have you really done the inner work?

This isn’t just about just being pretty or sexy .. this is about healing yourself to heal the world..

It all starts within ..as Carl Jung said ” He who looks outside of himself dreams.. he who looks within awakens.”

That is the path of Gods and Goddesses.

 

You can find my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) on Amazon.ca under Gracie Ackerman

When She Own’s It

 

How many times do I have to write about this topic before it will sink into the collective consciousness of humanity? Women’s bodies and wombs are regulated by government, a government that is male based or strongly influenced by mainly men.. we call that The Patriarchy. The Patriarchy isn’t just in religion as religion is steeped into government mandates or rules and regulations.. hence abortion always being on the table or the mandating of the womb. The control of the hand that rocks the cradle..for as the old saying goes..an old saying put froth by the Patriarchy centuries ago

” The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” and so it is that men { generalizing here} do everything to control the hand that rocks the cradle. Funny that the word ( Man ) is in ( mandate ) meaning to give over one’s authority to another. And so it is that a woman’s sexuality is only permissible if it passes through the gates of a male lens or certain standard. If a woman own’s it; if she is free with her own sexuality she is labeled as obscene and indecent. Such as the issue of women breastfeeding in public or going topless on public beaches. I suppose we need to mandate this in order to make men feel that they will not loose their sense of freedom by allowing women to have theirs.. did you notice the word ( allow ) and isn’t that just the core of the issue? How do men retain this control of women? It is simply through abuse. It is physical, financial, mental and emotional abuse.. many of these abuses we see present in the average daily relationships between men and women..but wait.. is it all his fault?

No it’s not entirely all his fault as much as it is the faulty way that society has taught all of us to view women’s sexuality through this tainted and unhealthy lens.. because these abusive patterns are rigid belief systems.. such as RELIGION .. stagnate us as the entire human race towards moving forwards to enlightenment or becoming conscious of our unhealthy and hurtful nature towards what is simply natural. A woman’s body will not make a man do evil things, or render him helpless to her sexual power.. that only happens if he tells himself that it will happen.. therefor using it as an excuse to loose power over his own common sense and better judgement not to be responsible for his own behaviors.

Quite simply the abortion and birth control debates are based on fear level thinking..not on fact or science. Seeing the human body as evil and or sinful for it’s nudity rather than seeing it as the natural beauty of art and science is also ignorant fear based thinking.. by those brainwashed by old and outdated social norms that create anything but normalcy. Shaming, blaming, controlling women and girls with the fears of violence, rape ( rape is sexual violence ) and it isn’t her rape to own.. it is his sickness to own .. financial manipulation by controlling a woman’s money .. ( society propels this by not paying women equal to men or making child care affordable.. or abortions legal..or birth control easy to access.. and then of course their is the emotional abuse )

” You crazy slut. Put some clothes on you nasty bitch. Wanna fuck whore.. you must wanna fuck because you look like you are dressed to fuck.” need I say more??? Seems I always have to say more.. falls on def ears.. ignorant ears that see my work about women’s sexuality as {Putting it out there}.. because * SHE SHOULD HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR HERSELF* I want to know how people equate a woman using her body as art in photography as me or other women not having respect for themselves? I don’t understand why you can’t be intelligent enough to catch yourself in your own knuckle dragging ignorance to not be able to see that I am doing this to prove a point here..and that is to expose ignorance and enlighten and educate the ignorant by living the message of women’s sexual freedom by being free.. so if you have half a brain you should be able to put 2 and 2 together by what I wrote above as to why I wrote my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) and as to why I use my own image and story in the book.. let me go over it once again for you ” I am owning it” do you get it now?

And of course because of doing my best to expose ignorance..to turn the light on in the dark ages, to bring about the golden light of intellectualism .. the ignorant zombies came at me x3 fold.. funny how that works.. ” Don’t make us think and evolve it’s painful.. we like our stupid stupor .” And so I have met with sexism and hatred ..with name calling.. being blacklisted and black balled ..even by those who profess spiritual enlightenment, to promote equality, women’s rights and even intellectualism.. but dysfunction dies hard..and to deviate from the norm brings social ostracization .. even if the normal in society is sick with abusive behaviors.. even if society is killing it’s self by not living to it’s full potential by keeping half the gender down and enslaved by sexual shaming and perversions..

As we know women’s sexuality can be sold by men or the Patriarchy within what they deem as worthy of sale..and so with that women are enslaved by chains around the ovaries .. by their body image being sold back to them as an impossible ideal to obtain.. we are either Madonna or Whore..Good Girl or Bad Girl.. seen through the lens of the Patriarchy a woman’s psyche is torn in 2 ..as she is no longer the Earth Mother… the natural nurturer.. she not allowed to move in her full essence and so she is drained of her full power by men who are not true men ..as mature men welcome and relish in the full essence of woman’s juicy ” Owning it.” And  also she is drained by other women shaming her due to socialized patterns of behavior ingrained into them by a sick society, they rob themselves of the Goddess within them..by denying the Goddess in other women.

And so ” When She Own’s it” when she steps into her skin unapologetic.. when she redefines the word ” Bitch” as ” Queen” and that is “”Queen Bitch to you!”" she steps into her Goddess.. and that is what frail men..insecure men are terrified of because once she own’s it, he has to grow up and own his own shit.

So if the pictures that I am using in this post offend you.. it’s therapy .. the question to be asking yourself is ” WHY?” what are your issues?

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