Posts Tagged ‘Women’s issues’

That one in a million guy will get me

 

Driving with my son this afternoon from Vernon back home to Armstrong, we had the windows rolled down as if to welcome the sunshine and spring into the car. The sweet smell of animal shit came wafting in and I said to my son as he made a face ” That sweet smell of the country.” it was like a welcome home. Both me and my boy are learning to leave the pretentiousness of Kelowna behind us. Later that evening we decided through a friends advice not to dye his hair metalic blue because Armstrong isn’t Kelowna and his farm kids friends just wouldn’t get it. Then my girlfriend said to me ” Gracie the real you isn’t like the person you post online. I mean it is and it isn’t. The Gracie I see is low key and nature loving. You didn’t fit into Kelowna because you are not high maintenance. Like I understand why you do what you do online, but other people just will not get it especially guys. But I get it because I have to run a business and but on my business face just like you have your online profile ego and I know that it is both sides to the coin for both of us, and that we are just country girls at home.. but to other people who don’t really know you they just will not get it.” than I said to her ” But you found a guy that gets it, you found that ( one in a million guy ) that guy that is the redneck, country boy at home but the high flying business dude at work.. so if you can than I stand a chance of meeting a man that can get me and my two sides of the coin just like all of us? Or at least I hope so, because the work I do online is important and I need the ego or the persona to get the attention for the message.”

But yes she is absolutley right, it is going to be very difficult to find the man or have the one in a million man find me going by my online profile. Women’s sexual empowerment and equality, and calling myself a feminist is going to scare off a lot of men or attract men who get the wrong idea. When I was in Kelowna W. Brett Wilson called me crazy and pretentious because he is used to women like that obviously, but I think he spoke for most men who would judge me the same way going by what I post online. He told me I was attention seeking, and by a base line one size fits all defintion he was correct. The online Gracie does want attention to get the message out that a woman getting attention for her sexuality isn’t evil, slutty or shameful; but the Gracie at home in her daily life.. well I am actually quite simple. I am a little jock/nerd/mommy/country girl. Yes I am an intellectual as I can tell you that the feminine archetype I am describing here is the Artemis/Venus. You see Artemis is the other side of the coin of Venus.. so Venus would be high maintenance and very sensual and Artemis is the chaste, athletic woman or girl. A woman goes from both one to the other and that confuses men, a psychologist will know exactly what I am talking about.

I have been in my inner Artemis for a few years now as I haven’t had a sexual partner for 2 1/2 years now. I know that seems like a total contradiction towards what I put out online towards women’s sexual freedom and empowerment. Of course many men and women will assume by my online profile that I have many partners and lots of sex; but it is also my freedom to explore being chaste.

I have had a very similar conversation  with another girlfriend of mine who is working on becoming a psycholigist; as to how in my daily life and upon getting to know me personally how I am both the Artemis and the Venus and as to how I am very much the Artemis right now in my daily life. Artemis is also very grounded and intouch with nature and children.

Another of my girlfriends was telling me how awful it is that a woman cannot say she is a strong woman and than say she also wants a relationship with a man, without the world judging her as weak. She is right. I believe a strong woman can do it on her own but she is also strong by letting a man do for her, and a strong man will not want her to do everything for herself but will want to help her and show her love by helping her. I am not an old school feminist who believes that wanting and having a man in her life is weak, I believe becoming a couple with the right person can make you stronger in many ways. Most men and women will judge me online as not being open towards bring in a masculine man or country gentleman towards me for calling myself a feminist.

I am a very spiritual woman but I can’t handle spiritual flakery; I don’t want to attract a spiritual nutcase either. I think he will be my opposite and even possibly be an atheist to counteract or balance me. That is why opposites attract. I guess my one in a million guy will be like me in the fact that he can be all business and serious about his work out in the world like I am with my book and blog; but be a sweet, and chill redneck country boy at home.. He will be the one that is smart enough and brave enough to understand why and what I am doing online, and stand by me; but also he will have the wisdom and common sense to see that I am really a pure and simple soul.

As a mom it’s really hard to write, it was really difficult to take the selfie I posted here; as I try to write someone always wants and needs something and when I was taking the selfie my son kept banging on my bedroom door. I was lucky to get the pic first try. Trying to edit my blog and to edit the image… ya right.

In real life, my life is very nitty gritty. I don’t party because it’s just too much work and I like my sleep so I can get up and lift and workout in the mornings. I am actually quite basic, very loyal to my friends and family. I have never cheated on a man and I am a one man, woman. I like my daily life simple and sweet. In many ways I  can be quite old fashioned.

I am to old for this shit

 

The world is totally disconnected and on a smaller scale men and women are totally disconnected, and I am just too old for this shit. It has become much to easy for people to get their fetish kicks off snapchats, Facebook and through online dating apps than to make real, honest and truly intimate, personal connections.. and I am just too old for this shit.  I am too old and wise to go chasing after men and to go bat-shit-crazy over cock, frankly I have better things to do with my time and energy like writing this right now on my blog. I guess the problem is many women think their entire lives and spare time should be spent chasing cocky,cocks and/or competing against other women for said dick.. I am just too damn old for this shit.

As much as I seem like a bad ass rock star for going topless with my images online and having my own personal nudes in my book, I am very low key in my day to day life. I am scheduled and regimented; that means { very strictly organized and controlled } I am a single mother of three kids so in order for me to get my me-time in I damn well better have my shit together. I love my fitness lifestyle and in that I am very military. I could make the time to go out to the clubs to drink and chase after players or wanna-be-players but I would rather get to bed early to get my healing for my muscles so I can lift heavy again the next day. I would rather be spending my time on self improvement rather than being another desperate single older woman sitting on a bar stool. I am not wasting my time, on guys who just want to waste my fucking time.

And then there are vibrators; a very wonderful invention that stops good women from sleeping with assholes, because if you can self pleasure well or amazingly, awesomely well; one can wait for a man to love you rather than to just fuck you and fuck you over. I am very thankful for the invention of vibrators and I think if more women explored their own bodies there would be less desperate women to choose from; so men who play these horseshit games would have to stop games and smarten the fuck up.

One of the craziest things about living in these times of  virtual dating is that both men and women are shamed for saying they want a relationship, as if that makes you desperate and emotionally weak? It’s truly fucked up, just like slut shaming for saying you want and like sex. While wanting and liking sex is a primal need so is wanting a mate. In today’s violent society love and intimacy are seen as weaknesses rather than strengths but being cold and ruthless, self serving or selfish is seen as gangster; and we wonder why the world is totally fucked up right now.. and I am just too old for this shit.

We live in an online world were people can basically pretend to be anything they want; like happily married while they cheat on their spouses. Both men and women can pull off a false persona online while being totally creepy fucktards in person. I have learned not to waste your energy or time texting your heart and emotions to anyone online on a dating site because chances are they are married and want to fuck you secretly or they are just playing ego games with you and will not meet you in person; or when you do meet them in person they don’t want to give you their real name as their motives or intentions were never honest to begin with.

So were does this lead us to again… I am too old for this shit. Do you feel me? It seems like romance is totally dead and in it’s place a false zombie has risen to consume all of our souls. It remindes me of my ex husband’s midlife crisis, it was like ” Where is my husband and what have you done with him, you evil demon?” That is dating and romance today; it is humanity today, it seems our souls and hearts have been consumed with Snapchat filters, dating apps and online profiles that are absolute bullshit.

So what choices does that give me as a non cock chaser? Guess I better get used to the fact that I am going to be alone in the middle of the night writing on my blog….because I am too old for this shit, and too fucking wise.

The Emancipation of Women’s Sexuality

 

 

 

 

As long as women are judged by how they dress, who they are with and what they are doing as worthy of having or not having basic human rights they will not have the same rights and freedoms as an average male does in society. As long as women’s bodies are objectified as pornographic they will not be free to fully express or be who they truly are. Granted we all have to follow some social rules, but the double standards placed on women’s sexuality vs a man’s prevents women from having the same freedoms. Men are not blamed for enticing a rapist, men are not blamed for enticing sexual harasment or domestic abuse for supposedly flaunting their sexuality. The belief that men cannot control their sexual urges vs that women can control their sexual urges, is an excuse that allows men to abuse and control women throughout many levels of society and within the home.

The fact that young girls are taught in schools that they must dress in a appropriate way so as not to distract the boys from getting their education and as a way to defend themselves from unwanted sexual advances; preaches towards the social brainwashing used to enslave women to men. Women are also abused by other women who fear loosing male attention and approval by being slut shamed and bullied into dumbing down or covering up their natural sexuality and biology. Other women have proven over the centuries to be brutal and cruel towards their same sex due to competing for a man’s resources and protection.Women who are sexy or sensual, pretty and overtly feminine are seen as seducing men, and using their beauty as a tool for survival and manipulation vs just being who they are. Women have proven throughout history to be their own worst enemy or friend-ememies; some of this jealousy and hatred towards their own sexuality and other women’s sexuality is due to being brainwashed by religious dogma, that has caused internalized misogyny. For women to become free or sexually emancipated we must start within ourselves and with a sisterhood. As far as the promotion of feminism; women are keeping themselves back just as much as the patriarchy, by jealousy and internalized misogyny. If women want to rise towards true equal rights we have to become aware of our own internal misogyny and jealousy towards our own sisters.

If women had equal pay and equal opportunity and if they could be just as free in their bodies and sexuality as men; they wouldn’t have to compete from male attention or resources nor would they be pushing eachother down due to petty jealousies.

It isn’t just the partiarchy that is keeping women down it is women that are keeping women down. We have believed the lies of a media and religion that tells us to fight against each other vs standing together as a sisterhood.

In order for women to be truly free we need to be able to walk the night just as freely as men; we should be able to get dressed for work, without the worry of appearing too sexual just like men do. We are not free when we have to be constantly on edge wondering if we are in the wrong place, at the wrong time, drinking in public around the wrong people, wearing the wrong thing at work, or saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.. because society teaches and promotes that women are responsible for the abuses that men inflict onto them. Society teaches young boys that if a girl is dressed too sexy then he is entitled to harass her as it is her responsibility because she dressed like she was asking for it.

You can purchase my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) ~ by Gracie Ackerman from Amazon.ca

my website wall www.sexassacred.com

Free Goddess Coaching

 

 

Being a Goddess or your best self requires that you be yourself. I know a lot of women will seach this up on the internet looking for a step by step guide as to how to be anything but themselves. That is what society has brainwashed women into believing. You are probably wanting to know what you can wear, how you can act or special places you can go to to find your Goddess. I have seen women in Goddess Cirlces dressed like fictional Goddesses and acting in fictional ways that they think will make them more attractive to men and spiritually enlightened in spiritual societies. But honestly this is just role playing or pretend they haven’t actualized their Goddess or their best selves.

If you are looking for a tend or a concept to lose yourself in then you might not want to read this.

A woman who is truly empowered isn’t seeking the approval of others. A woman who is empowered is a Goddess as she is whole to herself. A woman who is being a Goddess is being in her own skin and is seeing herself through her own eyes. You see the patriarchy has brainwashed us through the media towards seeing ourselves and our value through the male gaze. There are many Goddess teachings by female or even male coaches and writers that promote a false Goddess understanding by teaching women becoming a Goddess is to become more attractive or alluring towards male approval. If a woman is not being herself she will not be able to sustain the ACT  and the relationship or courtship that she attracts with her ACT will fail over time because eventually the mask becomes to much of a burden to wear.

Being an empowered woman or GODDESS is not a trend, it is not a fashion nor need it be a spiritual statement; becoming empowered is simply for herself, for yourself.. it is hedonistic as it is simply for the pleasure of being you. It is for the pleasure of exploring you.

A Goddess or an empowered woman is a feminist or believes in equality because she loves herself; the only way to true empowerment is to love and respect yourself.  A Goddess owns herself, her mind, body, reproductive rights, she speaks her mind and gives her opinions. A Goddess is not a damsel in destress, she saves herself but when she needs help she will seek it out because she loves herself enough to know when she needs help. A empowered woman or a Goddess empowers other women, she helps other women by giving her wisdom freely to other women and girls who cannot afford to pay for it. Like I am doing here; but she also knows her worth and isn’t shy in asking for what is due her.

A Goddess is not a brand, just like I said it is not a trend or a fashion statement; an empowered woman and empowering other women is timeless; but, except for a select few men who are more intouch with their inner feminity most Goddess Work must be taught by women who have lived as women; because you do not know what you do not know.

As an empowered woman I do not seek out fame and fortune because I know these things are fleeting; but I seek out a medium on which to share so that all women can become empowered by the message. I don’t and nor should you need the world’s attention or approval. Fame is a vehicle and money should be a shared resource to further empower others.

A Goddess or an empowered women owns her own sexuality past shame, past religious dogma that is the male gaze or perspective, she owns her sexuality past societal norms as they are not normal. A Goddess decides what and how her body will be shaped; but because a Goddess loves herself her health and wellbeing are her main goal. A Goddess choses if modesty or nudity is right for her and doesn’t slut same other women for their own unique choices as to how they express their sexuality.

You become a Goddess by being brave enought to step into your unique and special self. You become a Goddess by loving you as you are and by loving life. You learn to love life by being grateful in the moment, by honing in on your own special gifts and talents; these special gifts and talents become your purpose. A Goddess lives into her purpose and makes life meaningful by doing so.

A empowered woman or a Goddess listens to her own intuition or inner priestess or guides. She is her own spirituality and forms her own religion on around love and compassion to herself and others.

Being a Goddess or empowered woman takes intense bravery as the world wants to constantly drag women back into the male gaze or dumbed down patriachy model of a weak and meek woman, that should be seen and not heard. I Goddess ROARS..

I am not sorry that I didn’t give you a trendy and stylish version of becoming a Goddess that you are probably used to reading. What I hope I did was help you to go deep inside of yourself to invision the greatness of you becoming more of you.

You can find my book on Amazon.ca ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) ~  by Gracie Ackerman

Please go to the front page of my website www.sexassacred.com for further information

The 4th Wave of Feminism and Breasts

I think that during my entire lifetime, up until this very point I have been on a journey towards owning my feminism. I suppose I haven’t quite understood what feminism is myself as the topic and movement have been made quite complicated by those who oppose it. The majority of those that oppose feminism or equality towards women are traditionalists that are comfortable in their conformity and entitlement. The women whom repress themselves I have learned through study have internalized misogyny. Internalized misogyny is when a woman unconsciously and consciously chooses to believe her sex to be inferior compared to men and so she must follow the rules of a patriarchial society for her own good, because she believes that her female hormones in her female body cause her to be not as intelligent or as competent as a man.

I have learned about the 4 waves of feminism and upon studying and researching this I now understand why some feminist think women like me who empower themselves through their sexuality are not feminists. It is because the second wave of feminist believed that women who displayed their sexuality were self objectifying themselves; therefore asking men to objectify them. I have since researched why it is almost impossible for a woman to objectify herself. It is not probable for a woman to objectify herself unless she sees herself as an actual object, sexuality is natural and our bodies are who we are, it is not the woman being sexy or sensual that is objectying heself but it is the lens that society has placed on women’s sexuality that objectifies a woman or women. You don’t self objectify by expressing or being your sexuality, but your sexuality can and has been used by big corperations and media to sell objects and that is objectification. Both men and women can be objectified through this lens but it is mainly women who are objectified in society run by corperations. Second wave feminist like Gloria Steinem divoced themselves from their sexuality so that men would stop objectifying them. Gloria Steinem accused Madonna the Pop Artist of self objectification, and according to Madonna she told her that she was not a true feminist because of her self objectification. But as I have stated that is a false concept. Many second wave feminist will see me much like Gloria has viewed Madonna. I found this out contacting a second wave feminist publishing house, they published a book on the ancient goddess to empower women but they found my nude or semi nude pictures of me as the goddess to be self objectifing. These woman have done so much for feminism but this is why the 3 rd wave was needed to further reform feminism.

But going back to the 1 st wave of feminism. The first wave of feminism was the martyr phase as women called themselves The Women’s Suffrage and suffer they did for all women to get the vote, they were beatenin  the streets and went on long hunger strikes in protests, they were met with violence and hatred from the male based or patriarchal legal system as they attempted to make women people and not objects to be owned by their husbands and fathers. They had to shine a light onto the victimhood placed upon women and children under the control of men who were given the power and entitlement to turn violent and brutish at will.

Back to the second wave of feminism; the second wave was begining to adress rape culture by addressing pornography and the objectification of women’s sexuality; but by adressing this many feminist of that time stripped themselves of their own sexuality so as not be seen as self objectifying and this caused the feminist sex wars. Of course pornography needed to be adressed as it was and still is using women’s sexuality to sell product. Pornography was selling and sometimes still is selling the world on rape culture as it deplicts men’s orgams and men’s sexual satisfaction over women’s and it puts women into victim roles, and roles of domestic abuse. Pornography and the media also promoted and still promtes a unattainable body image towards women. Pornography created through the lens of the patriarchy or male entitlement is abusive towards women and if taken in that context it can and has cause violence and other abuses towards women. But taking sexuality away from women as being self objectification has caused women to erode there true empowerment by denying there basic nature; much like what happens in and through the lens of religion.

And so with that we see the 3 rd wave of a more modern day feminism that promotes the ideal of women stepping into their power through embrassing their sexuality, and loving the natural and unique curves of a realistic body type that is simply their own. We as 3rd and 4th wave feminist understand that the 1 st and 2 nd waves of feminism were needed as towards the evolution of feminism and we also understand that feminism will continue to evolve but; 3 rd and 4 th wave feminist are working to abolish the sterotypes placed upon feminist as ball bashing, angry, anti man haters. Many 3 rd and 4 th wave feminists even have difficulty with the word feminist as a way to define them because they feel it excludes men in the wording. I myself have had this conversation with my daughers who are 15 and 17 as to what young girls their ages think of the word feminism. They have told me ” We like the word humanism ” Listening to my daughers and other girls their age, I think it makes sense, because in order for feminism to work it has to include all of humanity. Many men who fear feminism fear that they are disposable to women and no longer are needed in their role of protectors; the truth be tol, that if a man believes and up holds the value of women as equals and is willing to act and speak out in the defence of equality he is very much needed by women and all of humanity. The modern day feminist or humanist is about the intesection of all these roads, towards justice and equality for all.

I am a 4th wave feminist as I use social media to attempt to share and enlighten others towards justice, equality and social acceptance of all humanity. I believe we need to constantly be reforming religion, laws and politics just as often as we have been reforming feminism towards humanism as women have only wanted to be treated as having ownership over themselves just as men do. The feminist/humanist believes in sexual freedom, race and gender equality and a free flowing spirtuality over the dogma, repression and diversion of religion.

As a 4th wave I own my sexuality, I express my sexuality as artistic and empowering and I believe everyone has a right to chose modesty or nudity, chastity or to explore their sexuality on their own terms.

Open Letter to the Canadian RCMP

Update – soon after sending this email and posting this to my blog I was called by the police inspector and given a verbal apology.
This is a modified email that I sent out the Vernon Police Inspector
I don’t expect any action from the police due to the fact that it is clearly a boy’s club. Just going by my own personal experiences thought my life and by seeing how other women around me, including my own mother have been treated by the RCMP I am expecting no real justice.
Reading the popular media, in the last year a Canadian judge told a rape victim in court that she should of just kept her legs together and just recently a female officer quit her job of 14 years of trying to educate the male force towards sexual harassment and discrimination. The female officer quit her job due to sexual harassment and discrimination. Clearly this is a boy’s club and obviously my complaints and my story will be covered up.
Inspector ********* left me a phone message saying that Cost. ******** who delivered the letter to me for the gym owner Peter ******** was inappropriate but he is a young officer so he didn’t really know any better. This is clearly an excuse. As an officer of the law it is his duty to be impartial and to serve the law not the boy’s club at Peter’s gym. It is the duty of the police force to protect me as a woman against sexual discrimination and harassment, not to further harass me for the retired police officer Len; who not only asked me how much for sexual favors but it was his and the owner’s intention to scare me out of the unisex area and out of the gym, so that they could continue to further discriminate against other female members without being held accountable. The owner’s language and those of his friends that participate, is the language of hate speech. Peter clearly stated in the video that he wanted the guys down stairs to be able to talk about what ever they wanted, that includes bashing other religions, races, cultures, gays and women. Clearly this is against human rights and this man shouldn’t be able to legally run a business that is based on discrimination and harassment of those who don’t meet his personal specifications. Peter should not have a business licence and should not be serving the public as we all know hate speech and discrimination cause hate crimes like what just happened in Quebec.
If I as a woman, cannot give a statement to the RCMP about sexual harassment with out the police coming back onto me, in my home, invading my personal life and privacy; how than can any woman report even more serious crimes like rape?
The police have terrorized me. I don’t feel safe in my own home. The date rape that I buried subconsciously has now risen to the surface of my awareness; and I am experiencing emotionally all the effects of deep trauma. I am so glad that I did not report my date rape to the police here in Armstrong BC, six years ago as I am sure I would of been blamed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I had physical injuries due to the rape but I am sure it would of been written off by the police as just rough sex. It seems to me that the police protect men and their reputations over women and their rights to be treated with respect and dignity.
After Constable ******** left me with the letter and his horrible condescending attitude of threatening me with arrest should I trespass back into the gym, I was left feeling hopeless and suicidal. I felt and I was punished by the police for daring to make a statement of sexual harassment and sexual discrimination against a retired police officer and a male gym owner. Obviously these men are of more importance to the police and to the law than I am as a woman. Obviously it is criminally offensive for a woman to dare to stand up to sexual harassment and obviously female police officers find the same fate within the system.
We are living in very sad and sorrowful times are we not?
Inspector ********* has left a message with me as has Les ****** of the Enderby police department. I have returned their messages but I have not been called back.
It would be just and right if the police gave me a public apology towards their own actions of not following proper procedure instead of making excuses and attempting to bury it under red tape and paper work. I think that the intent is that I will give up hope and drop it, and that I will just get on with my life. It seems to me the intention is to rip away my self worth and to induce hopelessness so that the matter doesn’t have to be properly addressed by the RCMP.
Going by what is happening Canada wide and by the tone of how the world treats women and their rights.. I am sure all women will be continued to be treated as property and second class citizens. It doesn’t seem to matter if you live by the letter of the law, pay your taxes and respect authority as clearly male based authority doesn’t respect women in general.
I have put ********* into the names to protect privacy and so that the law doesn’t once again come back onto me. I am publishing this to protect myself should the police further discriminate against me as retaliation or punishment, and to also show the truth should the gym owner have members make up false stories to cover himself.

Keeping The Wild Vagina’s Free

 

As we all know those who love to practice misogyny don’t want to see vagina’s owning themselves and running free to cause rebellion and havoc upon a perfectly constructed society based on male rule and the worship of the penis. I found this out just recently at a local redneck gym ran by a redneck and his male friends. It turns out that these guys want to see women working out to create a body that is perfect for the male gaze or judgment vs for their own health or athletic standards; you see that would mean those sweaty vagina’s would be free and we can’t have that. We can’t have that because then it would impact these men to the point of  having to please someone other than themselves; and god forbid that they would actually have to figure out how to bring a woman to orgasm and finally be forced to figure out just were the effing clitoris is actually located. You see vagina’s that are held in captivity by the ownership of a husband or boyfriend are just existing for the pure sake of male penetration and for the male orgasm which must come first ( pun intended ) cum first.. get it? So that is why vagina’s have penetration pricing; that is how you make a wild vagina into a tame vagina because of such low pay placed on to those with wild vagina’s the vagina must submit to male ownership by relationship or marriage so that the vagina can afford the basics for survival. If you give the vagina treats such as a nice wedding, diamond rings, and shopping trips with the odd holiday get-away thrown in than you are able to domesticate the wild vagina into the ways of organized misogyny. Wild vagina’s like mine are considered a threat by the Gang Of Misogyny because they can tempt the other domesticated vagina’s back into the wild by their love of rebellion and vibrators.

The wild vagina is free to think thoughts of it’s own as it doesn’t have a male owner constantly yapping and brainwashing misogynistic dogma and threats at it, that cause it to undermine it’s patterns of free flowing thoughts towards things like running it’s own business and writing disgusting ( fun ) blog post like this. The wild vagina will lead the domestic and tamed vagina’s into thoughts of rebelling against it’s male master by demanding that it’s orgasmic needs must be met before male penis penetration or ejaculation, the wild vagina is the black sheep of the domestic vagina and it will cause the tame vaginas to wander outside of the male boundaries or fences placed around them to keep them in the kitchen baking apple pies, knitting and thinking about having yet another baby to fill their craving for the freedom of the unknown.

The wild vagina is the newly divorced friend of your wife or girlfriend; or her sister that refuses to settle down, when she comes a knocking she awakens the rebel within your woman causing her to think her own thoughts, want her own way. She manages to get her to recall her dreams that she put aside so that you could make your dreams top priority. The wild vagina is a gypsy that dances in the middle of the night with a bottle of wine in hand talking back to those men who tell her to be more lady like.. and she seduces the tame and domesticated vagina’s to want to run free into the night. She encourages the domesticated and collared vaginas to want to orgasm and explore what is deep within the creamy swells of her own thighs.. and the misogynist thinks ” What if she finds out her vibrator can give her more satisfaction that I can and those bible verses are all bullshit that I use to keep her chained to an ideal of womanhood that is based on just the pleasure of men.. what if she starts to seek out her own pleasure and thoughts?”

And so the misogynist chase away the rebellious and free vagina’s to keep the white sheep in the corral and in the kitchen.. they call the wild vaginas sluts, whores and fornicators.

Off into the night the wild vagina goes with the free ass dude on his Harley that knows never to tame the wild vagina’s because they are the best kind.

For the dumb ass people who don’t get this post it is pure sarcasm. It is to show the stupidity of society when it comes to women’s sexuality, as to how threatening single women can be treated and judged by scared and ignorant men as well as jealous women who have internalized male misogyny by being constantly brainwashed by misogynistic dogma or even religion. 

Keep the vagina’s wild and free my friends and to those domesticated vagina’s you know how much you love your gypsy friends.

Coming To My Senses

 

When I wasn’t even fully awake this morning; my eyes not yet even open, the thought that came into my consciousness was ” No more assholes.”  I was waking up in the country to open my drapes to see the snow covered mountains to the sound of the early morning train. I love the sound of the train at night and the coyotes. The coyotes sound so hauntingly beautiful and mysterious on the cold and snowy winter nights. I woke up to waking up; to a feeling of coming back to my senses or the center of myself. It was a peaceful yet a radical awakening as I realized I didn’t ever have to fight anyone for anything when I was living in the city of Kelowna. I realized I didn’t even have to move to Kelowna to create my book and I realized, I can and I will, create whatever the fuck I want, whenever I fucking want to. When I left the city I left them to their own devices and I realized upon awakening that I always should have. I should of never cared what they thought of me or how they labeled me to suit their own purposes and insecurities. There ignorance was theirs to own not for me to trouble myself with even addressing, towards giving them or their issues any of my time.

My soul feels nourished once more and I do feel whole once more and reborn into myself and my own internal power. It is like I walked back into a mirror to walk into myself. All the names that they called me and all the things that they would have me believe myself to be, have fallen away and they are with them in Kelowna.

Before I awoke to my thought of ” No more assholes.” I had a dream. In my dream I was in a hologram and I was erasing parts of the illusion until it was gone. I stepped out of the hologram and back into my own life.. and so it was that Kelowna, I was in a 6 year bad dream that I allowed to be real by accepting the illusions that others projected towards me. My dream was my subconscious becoming conscious and awakening me to myself while I awoke. It was a dream of everyday magic; and that my friends is true awareness.

I have a new attitude towards my life now, I have a new attitude towards others who question my life and me as a person ( You are not my problem and I don’t have to explain a damn thing to you about my choices or my life )

I don’t need to fight anyone to be heard. If you don’t want to hear me that is your choice and it’s my choice not to give a damn and my choice to move towards life and happiness and way from assholes.

I am not going to waste my life and that is my time here on this planet, attempting to be the asshole whisperer. I am going to walk towards the light and happiness and teach my children to do the same. I am going to spend my time and energy on people who respect me, love me and who want to hear my message. I am turning my attention towards love, hope and joy. I am being fully emotionally present with my children, as in the past asshole’s nasty energy took my energy and time away from my kids. Not anymore. I am turning my back on all those who don’t matter and giving my love and attention to those who do..including myself.

I know logically it will take another 100 years or so before women have the same sexual freedoms and rights as men. I have done my part for society and for the human race upon writing my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) available on Amazon.ca

So now I am going to let it ride on the hands of fate. I will keep writing, but I am not pushing and I am not fighting.. what is meant to be will be.. I am going to enjoy my life and peace.

A New Life

 

It has been about a month now since I moved out of Kelowna. I know it’s very hard for nonspiritual people to understand this; but it was my guides or my Angels that guided me out of Kelowna. I was told by them under the full moon light, to go north. I was shown clearly in a vision and in dreams that north was home; I was shown that I was supposed to be close to nature so that I could heal from the pain of the many rejections that I experience in Kelowna. You know the spirit works in mysterious ways, very much like the 12th Lord or the 12th house in astrology. These mysterious spiritual ways are very Neptunian, dream like, like mists of figures that you see out of the corner of your eye, or when you hear your name called out just before waking.. and so they called to me to follow the north star home. I completed my spiritual purpose or mission in Kelowna. I created my book and I did all the things I had to do to set the hands on the clock of fate.. and such is divine timing..but they haven’t let me know much about that. Somethings like divine timing are mysteries to those of us in the flesh, and that is why we have faith. But I was told to lay it all in their hands and go into obscurity, to set my ego down and let go and let God. And so I have. I pulled these runes to let them tell you and me as to why I had to do what I did.. when I moved back into the country.. were you can leave your doors unlocked and walk around naked with your drapes open because there is nobody to see.

 

Ansuz ~ To be with the Divine and know the true nature of my own divinity, to give my children peace and a stable home.

Inguz ~ To find harmony and balance through better personal relationships with more grounded and centered people. To clear away old relationships to bring in people into my life who are real so that I can experience the wholeness of myself by being able to be my true self around them. By being able to be my true self without other’s inhibitions being placed on to me; I will come to wholeness and then meet a mate who will love me for my true self.

Sowelu ~ My life force returning by my regeneration of not giving my energy to others who refuse to see me or respect me for who I truly am. The retreat was a retreat of strength as I no longer will be present for others to drain me of my energy because they cannot find their own light within. Many mistake the light in others as a way to drain and feed their own egos with it; by my leaving such people or such a society I am now keeping my life force to myself. I will grow stronger as I become more and more of who I am by not allowing them my time or the space to ego feed off of my light or spirit. I will regenerate and heal my aura or light body. I will develop the art of doing without doing.

 

Kelowna or the city life was a rat race. Kelowna’s society was highly competitive without completion; in other words all their striving was for nothing but to say ” I am the most popular.”  If  I would of stayed in Kelowna I would of lost my freaking mind. I just couldn’t make sense of the fake business world that was not professional or the fake spiritual world that was based on trendy clothes, popularity, ass kissing and PURE EGO. My sensitive soul simply couldn’t tolerate it.

When I fell in love with a man named Matthew Cipes upon our first meeting it was just that, it was me seeing his soul and loving him unconditionally. I still do. But even though he is apart of the spiritual community he couldn’t trust me or that love. And I forgive him because it is uncondtional. But many in the spiritual community came at me to hurt me for daring to feel that way ,to tell him about it and to write about it. That is what is maddening about Kelowna and Kelowna society. I wasn’t considered good enough or pure enough or something not enough to dare feel love for someone who was considered to be way above me by societies standards or financial standards. He and they wanted me to feel ashamed for my feelings, he and they were so intentionally mean. But so many things about Kelowna are just awfully mean.

The thing is this; the refection of how I feel about him is a projection of the love that I have inside of me…and so doesn’t it make sense that the cruelty that they showed me is a reflection of how they feel about themselves or what is inside of them? I have absolutely nothing to gain here by saying that I loved him instantly upon laying eyes on him almost 2 years ago as I have left the city. I am sure I will never see him again. I have nothing to gain but to attempt to alchemize or transmute hate into to love.. but then I am not responsible for how others react or how they behave towards me; as that is their own perceptions to take responsibility for.

He or many in the spiritual community would say to me ” How did you attract this situation into your life.” it is a spiritualistic way of not taking responsibility for how they or he treated me. I didn’t attract other’s willful ignorance they are responsible for their own humanness or shortcomings. The point is I saw through the lens of love it was their bitterness that I allowed to eventually taint me.

But now I am free of that energy and I have cleared the way to let love, love through me once again and I will open up my heart wide again to let the light shine through me .. to let love find me as I find love once again in my new life.

Through a spiritual lens again; I have 6 major planets in my 1st house. This is the house of individuality or identity and that is what I played out in Kelowna. I found my identity and I used my identity as art or expression in my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine) I used my image in the photography and I used my own life story to express the story of womanhood. My north node is in Pisces and now 6 major planets are going into the house of the 12th Lord and this is about me loosing my identity or my ego to find my pureness or higher-self. According to my chart I will be reborn spiritually by the 3rd of January. My north node was my coming home to my guides or moving north on and in this earthly reality. It is a beautiful spiritual mystery as towards what will happen. But I know this I just have to let go, let God and flow.

Self Objectification is Almost Impossible

 

Every time I post a comment on a new’s feed on Facebook people will say to me ” Your profile picture is a contradiction. It’s silly and ironic that you say you are a feminist while you self objectify with your online image.” My online image has been a problem for me, you see others in the professional world judge me as self objectifying and so they believe this gives them an excuse to treat me with no respect or even to dehumanize me. Because of other’s judging me through a lens of ignorance I am treated by them with total disrespect, as they assume I don’t respect myself because I glorify my body and sexuality.

To get to the point. When a woman acknowledges her femininity and sexuality she isn’t objectifying herself she is whole, she understands that she is her body and her sexuality and is loving her femininity or womanhood. A woman who hates her body and runs away or denies her femininity and sees her sexuality as bad, evil, sinful or slutty is in fact practicing internalized misogyny, she thinks that stepping into her sexuality of femininity will make her less of a person or even dehumanize her to herself and to others. A woman that is internalizing misogyny is often the one calling other women who are comfortable in their bodies, sexuality and sexual expression .. sluts and whores..because she fears being called this herself by others.

Women who have internalized misogyny will often call themselves feminist, and these feminist often man up or make themselves unfeminine, these feminist often tell women who glorify and honor their femininity and sexuality that they are self objectifying and don’t deserve respect or to be taken seriously. Often these women will rage and rant online and off line about women who are whole and healthy in their sexuality because they are afraid to step into their own bodies and own themselves as whole beings.

The patriarchy; a male base social power system that runs society objectifies women by putting women into their lens of approval. Media and the entertainment industry use women to make money while paying them a fraction of what they make off of women’s sexuality. Religion and State mandate women’s wombs and bodies, and that says that women are objects. Women are either virgins or whores through the lens of patriarchy.. we are not whole human beings and our bodies are not our own to regulate as far as they are concerned. And so it is through the lens of other’s judgments that we are objectified… being sexy and sensual as a woman is not self objectification, rather it is being whole and healthy, natural and comfortable in your own skin.

The sad part about female internalized misogyny is that women have been brainwashed into hating their own bodies and sexuality as well as hating on other women. Through internalized misogyny we see other women blaming other women for being raped by judging them as asking for it by the way they present themselves as objects of desire, this is rape culture thinking.

To get down to the point of this post.. a beautiful and sexy woman isn’t self objectifying but rather you are projecting your internalized misogyny onto her ( if you are a woman ) or projecting your misogyny onto her ( if you are a man ) 

Misogynist believe that woman are here for men, that we exist for the male gaze and for male approval and that women don’t have a voice, a personality or a thought unless it has been given and validated by a man.

The patriarchy hates the feminine because it fears loosing power and control should the feminine rise to an equal balance with the masculine..and that is why the feminine and the feminine sex is repressed by hate speech, violence and rape..

But the world needs the feminine to rise so that all of humanity can become healthy, healed and whole.. so next time you see a woman expressing her femininity respect her because she is actually saving humanity from the brutality of the patriarchy, and in a spiritual understanding she is a Goddess, she is honoring The Divine Feminine.

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