Posts Tagged ‘women’s empowerment’

Free Goddess Coaching

 

 

Being a Goddess or your best self requires that you be yourself. I know a lot of women will seach this up on the internet looking for a step by step guide as to how to be anything but themselves. That is what society has brainwashed women into believing. You are probably wanting to know what you can wear, how you can act or special places you can go to to find your Goddess. I have seen women in Goddess Cirlces dressed like fictional Goddesses and acting in fictional ways that they think will make them more attractive to men and spiritually enlightened in spiritual societies. But honestly this is just role playing or pretend they haven’t actualized their Goddess or their best selves.

If you are looking for a tend or a concept to lose yourself in then you might not want to read this.

A woman who is truly empowered isn’t seeking the approval of others. A woman who is empowered is a Goddess as she is whole to herself. A woman who is being a Goddess is being in her own skin and is seeing herself through her own eyes. You see the patriarchy has brainwashed us through the media towards seeing ourselves and our value through the male gaze. There are many Goddess teachings by female or even male coaches and writers that promote a false Goddess understanding by teaching women becoming a Goddess is to become more attractive or alluring towards male approval. If a woman is not being herself she will not be able to sustain the ACT  and the relationship or courtship that she attracts with her ACT will fail over time because eventually the mask becomes to much of a burden to wear.

Being an empowered woman or GODDESS is not a trend, it is not a fashion nor need it be a spiritual statement; becoming empowered is simply for herself, for yourself.. it is hedonistic as it is simply for the pleasure of being you. It is for the pleasure of exploring you.

A Goddess or an empowered woman is a feminist or believes in equality because she loves herself; the only way to true empowerment is to love and respect yourself.  A Goddess owns herself, her mind, body, reproductive rights, she speaks her mind and gives her opinions. A Goddess is not a damsel in destress, she saves herself but when she needs help she will seek it out because she loves herself enough to know when she needs help. A empowered woman or a Goddess empowers other women, she helps other women by giving her wisdom freely to other women and girls who cannot afford to pay for it. Like I am doing here; but she also knows her worth and isn’t shy in asking for what is due her.

A Goddess is not a brand, just like I said it is not a trend or a fashion statement; an empowered woman and empowering other women is timeless; but, except for a select few men who are more intouch with their inner feminity most Goddess Work must be taught by women who have lived as women; because you do not know what you do not know.

As an empowered woman I do not seek out fame and fortune because I know these things are fleeting; but I seek out a medium on which to share so that all women can become empowered by the message. I don’t and nor should you need the world’s attention or approval. Fame is a vehicle and money should be a shared resource to further empower others.

A Goddess or an empowered women owns her own sexuality past shame, past religious dogma that is the male gaze or perspective, she owns her sexuality past societal norms as they are not normal. A Goddess decides what and how her body will be shaped; but because a Goddess loves herself her health and wellbeing are her main goal. A Goddess choses if modesty or nudity is right for her and doesn’t slut same other women for their own unique choices as to how they express their sexuality.

You become a Goddess by being brave enought to step into your unique and special self. You become a Goddess by loving you as you are and by loving life. You learn to love life by being grateful in the moment, by honing in on your own special gifts and talents; these special gifts and talents become your purpose. A Goddess lives into her purpose and makes life meaningful by doing so.

A empowered woman or a Goddess listens to her own intuition or inner priestess or guides. She is her own spirituality and forms her own religion on around love and compassion to herself and others.

Being a Goddess or empowered woman takes intense bravery as the world wants to constantly drag women back into the male gaze or dumbed down patriachy model of a weak and meek woman, that should be seen and not heard. I Goddess ROARS..

I am not sorry that I didn’t give you a trendy and stylish version of becoming a Goddess that you are probably used to reading. What I hope I did was help you to go deep inside of yourself to invision the greatness of you becoming more of you.

You can find my book on Amazon.ca ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) ~  by Gracie Ackerman

Please go to the front page of my website www.sexassacred.com for further information

Open Letter to the Canadian RCMP

Update – soon after sending this email and posting this to my blog I was called by the police inspector and given a verbal apology.
This is a modified email that I sent out the Vernon Police Inspector
I don’t expect any action from the police due to the fact that it is clearly a boy’s club. Just going by my own personal experiences thought my life and by seeing how other women around me, including my own mother have been treated by the RCMP I am expecting no real justice.
Reading the popular media, in the last year a Canadian judge told a rape victim in court that she should of just kept her legs together and just recently a female officer quit her job of 14 years of trying to educate the male force towards sexual harassment and discrimination. The female officer quit her job due to sexual harassment and discrimination. Clearly this is a boy’s club and obviously my complaints and my story will be covered up.
Inspector ********* left me a phone message saying that Cost. ******** who delivered the letter to me for the gym owner Peter ******** was inappropriate but he is a young officer so he didn’t really know any better. This is clearly an excuse. As an officer of the law it is his duty to be impartial and to serve the law not the boy’s club at Peter’s gym. It is the duty of the police force to protect me as a woman against sexual discrimination and harassment, not to further harass me for the retired police officer Len; who not only asked me how much for sexual favors but it was his and the owner’s intention to scare me out of the unisex area and out of the gym, so that they could continue to further discriminate against other female members without being held accountable. The owner’s language and those of his friends that participate, is the language of hate speech. Peter clearly stated in the video that he wanted the guys down stairs to be able to talk about what ever they wanted, that includes bashing other religions, races, cultures, gays and women. Clearly this is against human rights and this man shouldn’t be able to legally run a business that is based on discrimination and harassment of those who don’t meet his personal specifications. Peter should not have a business licence and should not be serving the public as we all know hate speech and discrimination cause hate crimes like what just happened in Quebec.
If I as a woman, cannot give a statement to the RCMP about sexual harassment with out the police coming back onto me, in my home, invading my personal life and privacy; how than can any woman report even more serious crimes like rape?
The police have terrorized me. I don’t feel safe in my own home. The date rape that I buried subconsciously has now risen to the surface of my awareness; and I am experiencing emotionally all the effects of deep trauma. I am so glad that I did not report my date rape to the police here in Armstrong BC, six years ago as I am sure I would of been blamed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I had physical injuries due to the rape but I am sure it would of been written off by the police as just rough sex. It seems to me that the police protect men and their reputations over women and their rights to be treated with respect and dignity.
After Constable ******** left me with the letter and his horrible condescending attitude of threatening me with arrest should I trespass back into the gym, I was left feeling hopeless and suicidal. I felt and I was punished by the police for daring to make a statement of sexual harassment and sexual discrimination against a retired police officer and a male gym owner. Obviously these men are of more importance to the police and to the law than I am as a woman. Obviously it is criminally offensive for a woman to dare to stand up to sexual harassment and obviously female police officers find the same fate within the system.
We are living in very sad and sorrowful times are we not?
Inspector ********* has left a message with me as has Les ****** of the Enderby police department. I have returned their messages but I have not been called back.
It would be just and right if the police gave me a public apology towards their own actions of not following proper procedure instead of making excuses and attempting to bury it under red tape and paper work. I think that the intent is that I will give up hope and drop it, and that I will just get on with my life. It seems to me the intention is to rip away my self worth and to induce hopelessness so that the matter doesn’t have to be properly addressed by the RCMP.
Going by what is happening Canada wide and by the tone of how the world treats women and their rights.. I am sure all women will be continued to be treated as property and second class citizens. It doesn’t seem to matter if you live by the letter of the law, pay your taxes and respect authority as clearly male based authority doesn’t respect women in general.
I have put ********* into the names to protect privacy and so that the law doesn’t once again come back onto me. I am publishing this to protect myself should the police further discriminate against me as retaliation or punishment, and to also show the truth should the gym owner have members make up false stories to cover himself.

Coming To My Senses

 

When I wasn’t even fully awake this morning; my eyes not yet even open, the thought that came into my consciousness was ” No more assholes.”  I was waking up in the country to open my drapes to see the snow covered mountains to the sound of the early morning train. I love the sound of the train at night and the coyotes. The coyotes sound so hauntingly beautiful and mysterious on the cold and snowy winter nights. I woke up to waking up; to a feeling of coming back to my senses or the center of myself. It was a peaceful yet a radical awakening as I realized I didn’t ever have to fight anyone for anything when I was living in the city of Kelowna. I realized I didn’t even have to move to Kelowna to create my book and I realized, I can and I will, create whatever the fuck I want, whenever I fucking want to. When I left the city I left them to their own devices and I realized upon awakening that I always should have. I should of never cared what they thought of me or how they labeled me to suit their own purposes and insecurities. There ignorance was theirs to own not for me to trouble myself with even addressing, towards giving them or their issues any of my time.

My soul feels nourished once more and I do feel whole once more and reborn into myself and my own internal power. It is like I walked back into a mirror to walk into myself. All the names that they called me and all the things that they would have me believe myself to be, have fallen away and they are with them in Kelowna.

Before I awoke to my thought of ” No more assholes.” I had a dream. In my dream I was in a hologram and I was erasing parts of the illusion until it was gone. I stepped out of the hologram and back into my own life.. and so it was that Kelowna, I was in a 6 year bad dream that I allowed to be real by accepting the illusions that others projected towards me. My dream was my subconscious becoming conscious and awakening me to myself while I awoke. It was a dream of everyday magic; and that my friends is true awareness.

I have a new attitude towards my life now, I have a new attitude towards others who question my life and me as a person ( You are not my problem and I don’t have to explain a damn thing to you about my choices or my life )

I don’t need to fight anyone to be heard. If you don’t want to hear me that is your choice and it’s my choice not to give a damn and my choice to move towards life and happiness and way from assholes.

I am not going to waste my life and that is my time here on this planet, attempting to be the asshole whisperer. I am going to walk towards the light and happiness and teach my children to do the same. I am going to spend my time and energy on people who respect me, love me and who want to hear my message. I am turning my attention towards love, hope and joy. I am being fully emotionally present with my children, as in the past asshole’s nasty energy took my energy and time away from my kids. Not anymore. I am turning my back on all those who don’t matter and giving my love and attention to those who do..including myself.

I know logically it will take another 100 years or so before women have the same sexual freedoms and rights as men. I have done my part for society and for the human race upon writing my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) available on Amazon.ca

So now I am going to let it ride on the hands of fate. I will keep writing, but I am not pushing and I am not fighting.. what is meant to be will be.. I am going to enjoy my life and peace.

Self Objectification is Almost Impossible

 

Every time I post a comment on a new’s feed on Facebook people will say to me ” Your profile picture is a contradiction. It’s silly and ironic that you say you are a feminist while you self objectify with your online image.” My online image has been a problem for me, you see others in the professional world judge me as self objectifying and so they believe this gives them an excuse to treat me with no respect or even to dehumanize me. Because of other’s judging me through a lens of ignorance I am treated by them with total disrespect, as they assume I don’t respect myself because I glorify my body and sexuality.

To get to the point. When a woman acknowledges her femininity and sexuality she isn’t objectifying herself she is whole, she understands that she is her body and her sexuality and is loving her femininity or womanhood. A woman who hates her body and runs away or denies her femininity and sees her sexuality as bad, evil, sinful or slutty is in fact practicing internalized misogyny, she thinks that stepping into her sexuality of femininity will make her less of a person or even dehumanize her to herself and to others. A woman that is internalizing misogyny is often the one calling other women who are comfortable in their bodies, sexuality and sexual expression .. sluts and whores..because she fears being called this herself by others.

Women who have internalized misogyny will often call themselves feminist, and these feminist often man up or make themselves unfeminine, these feminist often tell women who glorify and honor their femininity and sexuality that they are self objectifying and don’t deserve respect or to be taken seriously. Often these women will rage and rant online and off line about women who are whole and healthy in their sexuality because they are afraid to step into their own bodies and own themselves as whole beings.

The patriarchy; a male base social power system that runs society objectifies women by putting women into their lens of approval. Media and the entertainment industry use women to make money while paying them a fraction of what they make off of women’s sexuality. Religion and State mandate women’s wombs and bodies, and that says that women are objects. Women are either virgins or whores through the lens of patriarchy.. we are not whole human beings and our bodies are not our own to regulate as far as they are concerned. And so it is through the lens of other’s judgments that we are objectified… being sexy and sensual as a woman is not self objectification, rather it is being whole and healthy, natural and comfortable in your own skin.

The sad part about female internalized misogyny is that women have been brainwashed into hating their own bodies and sexuality as well as hating on other women. Through internalized misogyny we see other women blaming other women for being raped by judging them as asking for it by the way they present themselves as objects of desire, this is rape culture thinking.

To get down to the point of this post.. a beautiful and sexy woman isn’t self objectifying but rather you are projecting your internalized misogyny onto her ( if you are a woman ) or projecting your misogyny onto her ( if you are a man ) 

Misogynist believe that woman are here for men, that we exist for the male gaze and for male approval and that women don’t have a voice, a personality or a thought unless it has been given and validated by a man.

The patriarchy hates the feminine because it fears loosing power and control should the feminine rise to an equal balance with the masculine..and that is why the feminine and the feminine sex is repressed by hate speech, violence and rape..

But the world needs the feminine to rise so that all of humanity can become healthy, healed and whole.. so next time you see a woman expressing her femininity respect her because she is actually saving humanity from the brutality of the patriarchy, and in a spiritual understanding she is a Goddess, she is honoring The Divine Feminine.

Nasty, Naughty or Nice?

I never thought I would ever apologize to W. Brett Wilson; but this is my official public apology.

I am not going to make him into Mr. Perfect or me into Mrs. Perfect.

He was wrong for allowing the staff at his gym to bully me by treating me with prejudice. He allowed it because it was simply inconvenient for him to bother with. But by allowing it, he was not being the solution but he was being apart of the problem. But I am not perfect either. I responded poorly and I bullied him by sharing nude pictures of him from a trolling twitter account that I believe was set up by Mary Zilba and her friends. I didn’t know that at the time. I was duped by my own anger that made me blind to my own stupidity. So I responded to his staff’s poor behavior by becoming a bully myself. And so I apologize to him for that. Two wrongs just create more wrong.

I could be wrong that it was Mary and her friends that set up that account and contacted me with it; I could be wrong that they saw my rage and war with him as an opportunity to get back at him for not wanting to be in a committed relationship with her. She and her friends may not have written The Dirty on him? I could be wrong.

But one thing is for sure, Mary doesn’t know the first thing about what it is really like to be bullied or be labeled as a Nasty Woman. Her online profile is a metaphor for mediocrity and as to .. how to be a nice girl. I don’t know how a woman that is so fake can profess to be about women’s empowerment when she herself is afraid to fully express herself. She is afraid to age and she stands for a beauty industry that sells women back to themselves washed out and disempowered, not empowered by their own original and raw beauty.

I find these perfected beauty standards being sold as women’s empowerment to be quite troubling and they can simply washout the entire cause for true women’s empowerment by making it just more commercialism .. more plastic perfected, bullshit not meant to empower women but as more media confusion leading women away from themselves.

Mary stands for a beauty industry that makes women feel powerless by comparing themselves to impossible standards of beauty. Like never aging and being ashamed of your real age. This isn’t empowerment and is more of the double standards and the promotion of cattiness vs a real sisterhood.

We see media twisting the real message to empower elite women vs the everyday woman doing women’s work that is always given lesser value.

We are meant to look up to women like Mary while they look down on us and throw us crumbs by making us their charities.

It is very troubling indeed..

But then again I suppose my bitterness is nasty while Mary hashtags herself as #NastyWoman to promote  ( I don’t know what? ) seems like Disney Princess shit to me..

Not a woman who is raw and open and willing to get Nasty in and out of the bedroom.. not a woman who isn’t afraid to be her true authentic self..

Justin Trudeau you had me at Feminism

 

You had me at feminism but you probably will not read this poorly unedited, blog written by a self educated woman that isn’t included into your Camelot Circle. I am not a wealthy or connected person and so from what I have seen of you I will not matter. I am a commoner. I was really reminded of that watching the Royal Convoy speed past me and my children in Kelowna BC yesterday afternoon. The Liberal Government has been reminding common folk that they are common folk, as they surround themselves with only the best and most important people in the world. I simply don’t matter. I am just another number or statistic. I am just a single mother doing the single mother struggle. I am a renter caught in the middle of a greedy monster of a market brought into BC by the Chinese laundering their money through Vancouver real estate.

But anyways.. you had me at feminism, and so I watched you appoint many women into your government and I watched you support aboriginal women to work for you in your government..and then I watched you to see what actions you would take in supporting all women, all over Canada.. but I have to say that since your appointment I haven’t seen much from you. You have traveled to create positive relationships towards trade to other countries like China, you have taken multiple vacations and you always seem to be jet setting somewhere to do something ” important” you did increase family allowance and that was very helpful towards single mothers like me.. but…

Did you take notice of the Canadian judge that told a 19 year old rape victim to keep her legs together? Did you notice that he wasn’t fired right away, I have been watching the press and as far as I can tell he is still on the payroll.. So what are you going to do about it? How are you going to address and repair our judicial system towards educating judges and their misogyny?

Did you know that if a woman on welfare lives with a man for only 3 months she can have her support taken away from her as she is deemed to be in his care? Doesn’t it seem reasonable to assume then that she would be forced to stay in an abusive relationship so as not to become homeless? What are you going to do about it? Why haven’t welfare rates been raised to match inflation? Do you know how many women and children are on welfare, do you know how many children go hungry because the government refuses to give the common and poor dignity? What are you going to do about it?

Did you know that according to The Province male landlords in Vancouver are placing adds for female tenants to pay for their rent with sex? Don’t you think if women made equal pay and had the same opportunities as men that situations like this would and could be minimized? What are you going to do about it? The Province reported that the police will do nothing about it until women come forward individually. I think that is sexist and I think you should make the police.. police and put them up to an undercover sting operation.. am I the only one thinking about this? Why are you not thinking about this? Are you to busy hobnobbing with the snobs and really important people to be thinking about the common people? It seems so.

Why are you allowing rents to increase with out creating a law that stops landlords from asking for such unreasonably high rents? Why are you not capping the rent increases so that cities like Vancouver and Kelowna will be affordable and enjoyable for all Canadians? Don’t you think that if the rents were capped that it would decrease the amounts of men asking for sex as payment of rent and don’t you think it would make it easier for single parents to find homes to raise their children in? Don’t you think that capping rents would make it so that people can afford to eat? How can people afford these unreasonably high rents when working full time on minimum wage as it still puts them below the poverty line? Did you know that landlords are now making unreasonable request towards renter’s personal information and personal business because the market is so cut throat .. so they can invade on people’s right to privacy.. they are picking and preening.

Or is it more important to you to bring more Chinese money into BC to make it a tourist destination or a rich only destination to create more wealth for the wealthy?

You were born to privilege, you were born into the political life.. so are you so blinded by your upbringing that you cannot empathize with the common people and their basic needs to human rights? Is wealth and giving and getting privilege the goal?

Of course there are surmountable responsibilities towards running a country and being Prime Minister .. I would like you and I think other Canadian’s would like to see you sit your down in your office and get to work.I think it is time for you to be practical and down to earth towards the simple things that matter to the public, because you were appointed to serve us not your rich and very important friends and associates ..all women deserve equality and safety not just the select few that you have selected.

All Canadians deserve respect and dignity not just the select few that can afford to buy into a hugely inflated real estate market. I think as a Prime Minister your first course of action should of been to take care of societies most vulnerable.

But of course what do I know.. because statistically speaking, I am one of them.

When She Own’s It

 

How many times do I have to write about this topic before it will sink into the collective consciousness of humanity? Women’s bodies and wombs are regulated by government, a government that is male based or strongly influenced by mainly men.. we call that The Patriarchy. The Patriarchy isn’t just in religion as religion is steeped into government mandates or rules and regulations.. hence abortion always being on the table or the mandating of the womb. The control of the hand that rocks the cradle..for as the old saying goes..an old saying put froth by the Patriarchy centuries ago

” The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” and so it is that men { generalizing here} do everything to control the hand that rocks the cradle. Funny that the word ( Man ) is in ( mandate ) meaning to give over one’s authority to another. And so it is that a woman’s sexuality is only permissible if it passes through the gates of a male lens or certain standard. If a woman own’s it; if she is free with her own sexuality she is labeled as obscene and indecent. Such as the issue of women breastfeeding in public or going topless on public beaches. I suppose we need to mandate this in order to make men feel that they will not loose their sense of freedom by allowing women to have theirs.. did you notice the word ( allow ) and isn’t that just the core of the issue? How do men retain this control of women? It is simply through abuse. It is physical, financial, mental and emotional abuse.. many of these abuses we see present in the average daily relationships between men and women..but wait.. is it all his fault?

No it’s not entirely all his fault as much as it is the faulty way that society has taught all of us to view women’s sexuality through this tainted and unhealthy lens.. because these abusive patterns are rigid belief systems.. such as RELIGION .. stagnate us as the entire human race towards moving forwards to enlightenment or becoming conscious of our unhealthy and hurtful nature towards what is simply natural. A woman’s body will not make a man do evil things, or render him helpless to her sexual power.. that only happens if he tells himself that it will happen.. therefor using it as an excuse to loose power over his own common sense and better judgement not to be responsible for his own behaviors.

Quite simply the abortion and birth control debates are based on fear level thinking..not on fact or science. Seeing the human body as evil and or sinful for it’s nudity rather than seeing it as the natural beauty of art and science is also ignorant fear based thinking.. by those brainwashed by old and outdated social norms that create anything but normalcy. Shaming, blaming, controlling women and girls with the fears of violence, rape ( rape is sexual violence ) and it isn’t her rape to own.. it is his sickness to own .. financial manipulation by controlling a woman’s money .. ( society propels this by not paying women equal to men or making child care affordable.. or abortions legal..or birth control easy to access.. and then of course their is the emotional abuse )

” You crazy slut. Put some clothes on you nasty bitch. Wanna fuck whore.. you must wanna fuck because you look like you are dressed to fuck.” need I say more??? Seems I always have to say more.. falls on def ears.. ignorant ears that see my work about women’s sexuality as {Putting it out there}.. because * SHE SHOULD HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR HERSELF* I want to know how people equate a woman using her body as art in photography as me or other women not having respect for themselves? I don’t understand why you can’t be intelligent enough to catch yourself in your own knuckle dragging ignorance to not be able to see that I am doing this to prove a point here..and that is to expose ignorance and enlighten and educate the ignorant by living the message of women’s sexual freedom by being free.. so if you have half a brain you should be able to put 2 and 2 together by what I wrote above as to why I wrote my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) and as to why I use my own image and story in the book.. let me go over it once again for you ” I am owning it” do you get it now?

And of course because of doing my best to expose ignorance..to turn the light on in the dark ages, to bring about the golden light of intellectualism .. the ignorant zombies came at me x3 fold.. funny how that works.. ” Don’t make us think and evolve it’s painful.. we like our stupid stupor .” And so I have met with sexism and hatred ..with name calling.. being blacklisted and black balled ..even by those who profess spiritual enlightenment, to promote equality, women’s rights and even intellectualism.. but dysfunction dies hard..and to deviate from the norm brings social ostracization .. even if the normal in society is sick with abusive behaviors.. even if society is killing it’s self by not living to it’s full potential by keeping half the gender down and enslaved by sexual shaming and perversions..

As we know women’s sexuality can be sold by men or the Patriarchy within what they deem as worthy of sale..and so with that women are enslaved by chains around the ovaries .. by their body image being sold back to them as an impossible ideal to obtain.. we are either Madonna or Whore..Good Girl or Bad Girl.. seen through the lens of the Patriarchy a woman’s psyche is torn in 2 ..as she is no longer the Earth Mother… the natural nurturer.. she not allowed to move in her full essence and so she is drained of her full power by men who are not true men ..as mature men welcome and relish in the full essence of woman’s juicy ” Owning it.” And  also she is drained by other women shaming her due to socialized patterns of behavior ingrained into them by a sick society, they rob themselves of the Goddess within them..by denying the Goddess in other women.

And so ” When She Own’s it” when she steps into her skin unapologetic.. when she redefines the word ” Bitch” as ” Queen” and that is “”Queen Bitch to you!”" she steps into her Goddess.. and that is what frail men..insecure men are terrified of because once she own’s it, he has to grow up and own his own shit.

So if the pictures that I am using in this post offend you.. it’s therapy .. the question to be asking yourself is ” WHY?” what are your issues?

Open Letter to Justin Trudeau

 

To get to the point, the subject of this letter is women’s rights and equality. My book and life are based on this subject. I am the subject in question as are all women and/or Canadian women.

My qualifications are not based on PHDs or graduate degrees, my spelling, punctuation and grammar will not be perfect upon writing this post. I am a single mother so I cannot afford to have someone edit my blog. Like most single mothers I am very busy; as I write this my three children are settling in bed.. let’s hope they stay that way so I don’t loose my train of thought.

I want to share my personal experience as a woman living in Canada, under Canada’s flawed and sexist justice system.

I found out how unfair the justice system is going through my divorce. I learned through the judges and lawyers that my work wasn’t as important as my ex husbands work. I learned through them that he was actually the leader in the marriage and the one that was truly responsible for the family landscaping business. It didn’t matter that I had to work for a Government Grant to fund the start up of the business. A grant were I was taught how to write a business plan; were I had to pitch the plan to a board, and that I had to compete for the 3 grants up on the table against 30 other competitors. But I learned the 51% of the business that he had signed over to me to fully qualify for the grant didn’t really mean anything in court. I told them that the business didn’t actually need him for me to run it on my own. I told them that everything he did I could hire out to be done and I could still turn a profit. But that didn’t matter to the judges, the lawyers or the mediators. You see men’s work is more important than women’s work because they told me he was the business and so it should be his. And I wasn’t named on the mortgage, because of student loan dept at the time; it turned out that when the house sold he could take 1/3 more of what was not his. Of course I could of kept lawyers after him, but with no money and legal aid a complete joke ( basically you have to sell your car and almost be on the street to get legal aid ) my ex got away with an extra $22,000.00 and the business. I got $600 a month in alimony.

So Mr. Trudeau how will you change the system so that this doesn’t happen to other women? Are you going to change legal aid? Can you somehow teach lawyers and judges that women’s work is just as important as a man’s work? I want to know if you are going to implement equal pay? I don’t think it is fair that just because a woman can give birth she should be put behind in the pay grade.. do you?

Later on I found it impossible to get my ex to pay for his share of daycare. I tried to go back to school using a big lump sum of Family Allowance back pay. You see my ex wouldn’t sign the papers for the Government stating that we were legally separated; he still wanted to do income splitting with me to help himself ( he thinks he is more important than me and the children, and I wonder why that is? ) I had to get lawyers to get him to sign..so I was given a nice fat sum of $7,000.00 I went to college to get upgraded on my Executive Secretary. But my ex refused to pay his half of the childcare. I couldn’t afford keep hiring lawyers so with no help from legal aid my abusive ex caused me to have to drop out. I had to pay the childcare owning by him, myself. But wait it gets even better. A year or so later my ex took me to court because my car has an electrical problem and I can’t drive it long distances to drop the kids off to him; and so he comes to get them and drive them home. The judge wouldn’t even look at the papers my mechanic gave me as proof in court. The judge refused to make my ex pay for childcare as I didn’t provide proof that I was working or looking for work..( I didn’t know I had to provide proof I wasn’t applying for welfare ) but then they told me I had to find a full time job not a part time job and they wanted my preteen daughters to take the bus home from school across the city while I was going to be working at said full time job. The judge threatened me by saying ” If I wanted to I could make you pay for the last year of your ex husband’s gas.” The judge refused to listen to me when I told him that I was entrepreneuring a book, a concept and movement towards freeing women from sexual repression. He refused to look at the book; and in the minutes later mailed to me.. he refuse to acknowledge that I had even wrote a book.. he said ” Wants to write a book.”

Mr. Trudeau I was invisible in that court room. What are you going to do about this? Why is hearsay ( rumor or gossip ) sound like her-story..and history is recorded fact? Why are male voices heard and female voices passed up as non-important? It was like I was a ghost.. was I even really there to them? Why are judges able to financially abuse women with threats of back pay on what isn’t owed?

Mr. Trudeau when our house sold I wanted to use the money to move to Vancouver from Kelowna to launch my book. Kelowna and the Okanagan is a very Christian/Conservative community. Writing a book about women’s sexual repression to sexually liberate all women wasn’t going to be received will here. It wasn’t. My ex took me to court to order the court to stop me from moving. It would of only been a 4hr drive for him and he has family in the area. My future career and my right to the freedom to live were I choose were taken from me using the children as an excuse. I wasn’t moving them out of province or across the country. I was told by the judge that I had to remarry or be making more money than my ex husband to have that right.

Mr. Trudeau why do I have to be a man’s wife to have more rights and freedoms? Why do I have to have money to have more rights and freedoms? If I was a man I know the same wouldn’t of applied.

Mr. Trudeau I want to know why they system wants to make it so hard for me to be an independent and successful woman in my own right? I want to know why women have to work around this crap when men don’t. I want to know why many men get away with working under the table, thereby not paying the full amount of child support that they should? I want to know why the Government doesn’t audit these fathers? I want to know why the Government doesn’t make men parent? I want to know why these double standards still exist in a first world country? How can we set an example for the rest of the world if we don’t treat women with equality in a first world country?

Mr. Trudeau we are just at the tip of the iceberg here. My girlfriend was murdered by her husband in her house with her children in her house with her. He shot her. He hid her body in the house with the children in the house for over 12 hrs. This happened in Abbotsford BC. She is gone, her children are without a mother. He got out on bail 2 years after the fact. Don’t women’s lives matter in Canada? I want to know what you are going to do about that? Don’t you think this just sends a message to men that they can abuse and murder women with just a slap on the wrist? This says ” Women don’t matter”

I want to know why a Canadian judge can say to a rape victim in court ” You should of just kept your legs together” and then he is just up for review? How the hell did he become a judge in the first place? Why wasn’t he fired instantly for being a sexist pig? I want to know what you are going to do about this Mr. Trudeau?

I want to know why when I was treated with prejudice by Kelowna’s business community, by not being allowed to network within groups and organizations the Human Rights Tribunal didn’t have a clause to protect me from sexual discrimination; yet it has clauses protecting homosexual and transgender people from sexual discrimination. Why am I and not other women protected with the same rights? Why is it that if I was of East Indian decent and I wasn’t allowed into an organization the Human Rights Tribunal would of protected my rights; but as a woman writing about women’s sexuality I can be discriminated against? You have some explaining to do Mr. Trudeau.

As a woman I want to know why abortion is up for debate in Parliament? I want to know why the female body is owned and regimented by the Government and Churches? I want to know why the bible is allowed in the court room as it clearly creates a prejudice. People should just swear to tell the truth. Not everyone believes in the same God, and religion represses women. Religion states women as being under men..I think that is clearly what is wrong with the justice system. It is tainted by prejudice to create inequalities. What are you going do about this Mr. Trudeau?

Mr Trudeau I know that you have created a base of equality within your cabinet by hiring equal amounts women to men; but are the women being paid the same as the men? You have done some amazing things in the last couple of months for Canada. I think it is very compassionate of you to let in Syrian refugees. But as you can see there is so much more to do. And we both know you need to do it, we need to do it because it is the year 2016..and it’s about damn time..

Mr Trudeau I am sure your wife would agree with me that it is time for The Divine Feminine to rise. It is time that we do away with the double standards placed on women so that the entire world can become a better place for everyone. To find out more about me and my book google Gracie Ackerman.

I hope this letter was enlightening to you; I hope I have helped create positive change and evolution.

There needs to be a peaceful revolution..humanity needs to grow and evolve.

A Single Mother and Sex

 

I am just in the mood to share my thoughts on what it’s like to be a single mother that gives a fuck. I give fuck about living a good life,  about my kids, my work, my body and my fitness. I give a fuck about spiritual enlightenment and about real people. There are many things I don’t give a fuck about. I don’t give a fuck about shallow, boring people and their bullshit, small talk. I don’t give a fuck about high school drama played out by adults in their mid 20s and up.. grow the fuck up.. until then not one fuck is given by me. I don’t give a fuck about the party lifestyle. I don’t give a fuck about people that make excuses. I don’t give a fuck about pity parties..and I don’t give a fuck about other single moms that put fucking asshole boyfriends ahead of their kids. I don’t give a fuck about weak ass women.,, women who do everything for men ..and nothing for their own sake or the sake of their children. I give a fuck about the things and people that matter.. the things that make you stronger.. the things that cause you to improve… I give a fuck about people who give a fuck about people and things that matter..for the rest; not one fuck is given.. ( and so I ramble ) but I don’t give a fuck because it feels good to speak my mind..and that is why I am still single. I need a man who can take it.. strait up like a shot of 100 proof truth.. I don’t want a man that needs me to become some weak bitch to make him feel like a man he obviously is not.

And so it is, that I don’t have sex and haven’t for quite sometime..but when I become interested in a guy and he starts to put his bullshit and baggage on me.. I don’t think carrying all of his past relationships and insecurities ..is worth the cock .. honestly.. there always seems to be some fucking karma involved and some other stupid girl that stalks his ass..or girls..and I think to myself ” fuck it” Because I love my mind, free and clear.. I love to think about shit like this..about writing on my blog as some rogue bad girl..misbehaving .. swearing like I own my freedom.. screaming out on text like some wild little wolf pup howling into the wind.. this is my voice.. I don’t want to give it up..for some cock LOL ( ha that made me burst out laughing like some crazy thing ) I like being crazy Gracie.. I love it and I love myself.. I don’t want some guy putting me into a box for some cock LOL..it’s just not worth it.. but of course the catch is; I like sex..but I don’t want it to be used against me to own my mind and emotions to feed some guys pathetic ego. Why do guys need to be worshiped? I don’t have the time for that shit..or rather I don’t want to spend my time worrying about if my man is going to stick his cock in that woman that flirts with him.. the one that feeds his ego more than I do..or more than I could ever want to.. I just don’t want to do it.. I want to go to the gym.. I want to write funny shit.. I want to meditate or paint or dance.. but yes it would be nice to have sex.. but why the hell does it have to cost me the freedom of being a free woman? Why the hell do guys think that to be my man he has to take up space in my head.. I feel smothered.. I am an intellect.. an artist, a free spirit.. I just can’t be a nice, well behaved girl just so that he will keep bringing his cock to me..and not put it in other girls who dumb it down just for him..

And then.. young guys or older guys ..or guys my age..

young guys want to party..

guys my age are bitter and mad at the ex wives..

older men ..well they are boring as hell..

Tis the conundrum ..the catch 22.. and because I give a fuck about the stuff that matters ( while not giving a fuck about the stuff that doesn’t ) I give a shit about love.. *Oh* there is just no winning here!

And then guys say stupid shit like ” If women made us step up by having us chase them instead of throwing themselves at us we would date women and be more romantic” I call bullshit on that..stop blaming us for your immaturity..a man needs something to chase.. my ass.. because once he has got it;  he is keeping his options open for the  next best piece of ass..because variety is the spice of life you know?

I am sorry this doesn’t come off as intellectual banter tonight..but I am a woman and so I have my moods..and tonight I am feeling like just doing whatever the fuck I want..if I had a man in my life do you think I could? Don’t you think he would be looking over my shoulder asking ” What are you writing about babe? Holy fuck you can’t write about that.. you sound like a foul mouthed bitch.. you should take out the swearing.. you should say intimacy instead of sex.. don’t put in a sexy pic either.. I don’t want guys looking at your tits.” so the question is.. is some cock worth it?

A conversation with my daughter about beauty

 

Just when I thought I was setting a good example for my children with my bodybuilding training the tables turned on me.

My 15 y/o daughter informed me while I was cooking dinner tonight that she wanted to go on a strict diet. She isn’t overweight at all; she is healthy, rosy cheeked and very opinionated. She told me that there were parts of her body that she didn’t like ..she said ” I want my tummy to be concave mom. I want my skin to be perfectly clear so that means no fat or sugar in my diet.” I told her that restricting her diet would lead to a lifetime of an unhealthy relationship with food.. that it would be best to just moderate fat and sugar and workout some more..but she had been watching YouTube ..she wanted instant results.. I felt myself becoming very sad and emotional at the fact that she had said there were parts of herself that she didn’t like..but I felt she needed some space to eat her dinner and then be alone in her room for a while..and I needed to get my emotions under control.. it was then that I approached her alone in her room..

I sat on the end of her bed and said to her ” I want you to know that you are an amazing young woman. I brag about you all the time to the ladies at the gym. I brag about how driven you are. I brag about your 4.0 and your honors courses.. I brag about how healthy and rebellious you are in the right ways. You are a strong minded, head strong girl with leadership qualities..it takes a very strong girl to put up with a very strong mother and forge her own way and identity. I want you to love yourself flaws and all.. I am so proud of you as a person and I am so blessed to have you as my first born daughter.” we both started to tear up..and she said ” Mom you don’t have to say this.” and I said ” I really want you to hear me and to take this into your heart.. outward beauty is nothing without inward beauty..outward beauty fades but a strong mind and spirit only get stronger.. you may not see yourself as Hollywood beautiful but you are the whole package of beauty.. the world needs more girls and women like you in the world.” and then I kissed her as she sorta, kinda pretended to push me away.

I then I told her from the end of her bed ” I am doing the bodybuilding to get my mind off of not being able to get through people’s ignorant thick heads about the sexual repression and inequalities towards women.. it’s so they don’t drive me crazy. I see it as a sport and a spiritual practice on sobriety.. not a beauty contest; although if I do compete; it is a beauty contest to many of the other’s competing..and to them it maybe only superficial. To me it is to make me more mentally sharp..spiritually balanced and centered.. I don’t want you to think that I see outer beauty as a means of myself worth and I don’t want you to see me as setting an example of that for you.” and then I took a breath between tears of love and adoration for my daughter.. ” The most beautiful people truly love themselves and that is how they can love others..that is the most important thing you need to do in your life..and a well cultivated brain is ultra beautiful.. there are so many outwardly beautiful people that do nothing for humanity but stand as ornaments ..the most important thing you can do with your life is to do something with your life that will help humanity evolve.. it will be a girl like you that will change the world.”

And with that I gave my daughter another hug and went into my own room to wipe away my proud mommy tears.

Links