Posts Tagged ‘Wild Woman’

Keeping The Wild Vagina’s Free

 

As we all know those who love to practice misogyny don’t want to see vagina’s owning themselves and running free to cause rebellion and havoc upon a perfectly constructed society based on male rule and the worship of the penis. I found this out just recently at a local redneck gym ran by a redneck and his male friends. It turns out that these guys want to see women working out to create a body that is perfect for the male gaze or judgment vs for their own health or athletic standards; you see that would mean those sweaty vagina’s would be free and we can’t have that. We can’t have that because then it would impact these men to the point of  having to please someone other than themselves; and god forbid that they would actually have to figure out how to bring a woman to orgasm and finally be forced to figure out just were the effing clitoris is actually located. You see vagina’s that are held in captivity by the ownership of a husband or boyfriend are just existing for the pure sake of male penetration and for the male orgasm which must come first ( pun intended ) cum first.. get it? So that is why vagina’s have penetration pricing; that is how you make a wild vagina into a tame vagina because of such low pay placed on to those with wild vagina’s the vagina must submit to male ownership by relationship or marriage so that the vagina can afford the basics for survival. If you give the vagina treats such as a nice wedding, diamond rings, and shopping trips with the odd holiday get-away thrown in than you are able to domesticate the wild vagina into the ways of organized misogyny. Wild vagina’s like mine are considered a threat by the Gang Of Misogyny because they can tempt the other domesticated vagina’s back into the wild by their love of rebellion and vibrators.

The wild vagina is free to think thoughts of it’s own as it doesn’t have a male owner constantly yapping and brainwashing misogynistic dogma and threats at it, that cause it to undermine it’s patterns of free flowing thoughts towards things like running it’s own business and writing disgusting ( fun ) blog post like this. The wild vagina will lead the domestic and tamed vagina’s into thoughts of rebelling against it’s male master by demanding that it’s orgasmic needs must be met before male penis penetration or ejaculation, the wild vagina is the black sheep of the domestic vagina and it will cause the tame vaginas to wander outside of the male boundaries or fences placed around them to keep them in the kitchen baking apple pies, knitting and thinking about having yet another baby to fill their craving for the freedom of the unknown.

The wild vagina is the newly divorced friend of your wife or girlfriend; or her sister that refuses to settle down, when she comes a knocking she awakens the rebel within your woman causing her to think her own thoughts, want her own way. She manages to get her to recall her dreams that she put aside so that you could make your dreams top priority. The wild vagina is a gypsy that dances in the middle of the night with a bottle of wine in hand talking back to those men who tell her to be more lady like.. and she seduces the tame and domesticated vagina’s to want to run free into the night. She encourages the domesticated and collared vaginas to want to orgasm and explore what is deep within the creamy swells of her own thighs.. and the misogynist thinks ” What if she finds out her vibrator can give her more satisfaction that I can and those bible verses are all bullshit that I use to keep her chained to an ideal of womanhood that is based on just the pleasure of men.. what if she starts to seek out her own pleasure and thoughts?”

And so the misogynist chase away the rebellious and free vagina’s to keep the white sheep in the corral and in the kitchen.. they call the wild vaginas sluts, whores and fornicators.

Off into the night the wild vagina goes with the free ass dude on his Harley that knows never to tame the wild vagina’s because they are the best kind.

For the dumb ass people who don’t get this post it is pure sarcasm. It is to show the stupidity of society when it comes to women’s sexuality, as to how threatening single women can be treated and judged by scared and ignorant men as well as jealous women who have internalized male misogyny by being constantly brainwashed by misogynistic dogma or even religion. 

Keep the vagina’s wild and free my friends and to those domesticated vagina’s you know how much you love your gypsy friends.

A New Life

 

It has been about a month now since I moved out of Kelowna. I know it’s very hard for nonspiritual people to understand this; but it was my guides or my Angels that guided me out of Kelowna. I was told by them under the full moon light, to go north. I was shown clearly in a vision and in dreams that north was home; I was shown that I was supposed to be close to nature so that I could heal from the pain of the many rejections that I experience in Kelowna. You know the spirit works in mysterious ways, very much like the 12th Lord or the 12th house in astrology. These mysterious spiritual ways are very Neptunian, dream like, like mists of figures that you see out of the corner of your eye, or when you hear your name called out just before waking.. and so they called to me to follow the north star home. I completed my spiritual purpose or mission in Kelowna. I created my book and I did all the things I had to do to set the hands on the clock of fate.. and such is divine timing..but they haven’t let me know much about that. Somethings like divine timing are mysteries to those of us in the flesh, and that is why we have faith. But I was told to lay it all in their hands and go into obscurity, to set my ego down and let go and let God. And so I have. I pulled these runes to let them tell you and me as to why I had to do what I did.. when I moved back into the country.. were you can leave your doors unlocked and walk around naked with your drapes open because there is nobody to see.

 

Ansuz ~ To be with the Divine and know the true nature of my own divinity, to give my children peace and a stable home.

Inguz ~ To find harmony and balance through better personal relationships with more grounded and centered people. To clear away old relationships to bring in people into my life who are real so that I can experience the wholeness of myself by being able to be my true self around them. By being able to be my true self without other’s inhibitions being placed on to me; I will come to wholeness and then meet a mate who will love me for my true self.

Sowelu ~ My life force returning by my regeneration of not giving my energy to others who refuse to see me or respect me for who I truly am. The retreat was a retreat of strength as I no longer will be present for others to drain me of my energy because they cannot find their own light within. Many mistake the light in others as a way to drain and feed their own egos with it; by my leaving such people or such a society I am now keeping my life force to myself. I will grow stronger as I become more and more of who I am by not allowing them my time or the space to ego feed off of my light or spirit. I will regenerate and heal my aura or light body. I will develop the art of doing without doing.

 

Kelowna or the city life was a rat race. Kelowna’s society was highly competitive without completion; in other words all their striving was for nothing but to say ” I am the most popular.”  If  I would of stayed in Kelowna I would of lost my freaking mind. I just couldn’t make sense of the fake business world that was not professional or the fake spiritual world that was based on trendy clothes, popularity, ass kissing and PURE EGO. My sensitive soul simply couldn’t tolerate it.

When I fell in love with a man named Matthew Cipes upon our first meeting it was just that, it was me seeing his soul and loving him unconditionally. I still do. But even though he is apart of the spiritual community he couldn’t trust me or that love. And I forgive him because it is uncondtional. But many in the spiritual community came at me to hurt me for daring to feel that way ,to tell him about it and to write about it. That is what is maddening about Kelowna and Kelowna society. I wasn’t considered good enough or pure enough or something not enough to dare feel love for someone who was considered to be way above me by societies standards or financial standards. He and they wanted me to feel ashamed for my feelings, he and they were so intentionally mean. But so many things about Kelowna are just awfully mean.

The thing is this; the refection of how I feel about him is a projection of the love that I have inside of me…and so doesn’t it make sense that the cruelty that they showed me is a reflection of how they feel about themselves or what is inside of them? I have absolutely nothing to gain here by saying that I loved him instantly upon laying eyes on him almost 2 years ago as I have left the city. I am sure I will never see him again. I have nothing to gain but to attempt to alchemize or transmute hate into to love.. but then I am not responsible for how others react or how they behave towards me; as that is their own perceptions to take responsibility for.

He or many in the spiritual community would say to me ” How did you attract this situation into your life.” it is a spiritualistic way of not taking responsibility for how they or he treated me. I didn’t attract other’s willful ignorance they are responsible for their own humanness or shortcomings. The point is I saw through the lens of love it was their bitterness that I allowed to eventually taint me.

But now I am free of that energy and I have cleared the way to let love, love through me once again and I will open up my heart wide again to let the light shine through me .. to let love find me as I find love once again in my new life.

Through a spiritual lens again; I have 6 major planets in my 1st house. This is the house of individuality or identity and that is what I played out in Kelowna. I found my identity and I used my identity as art or expression in my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine) I used my image in the photography and I used my own life story to express the story of womanhood. My north node is in Pisces and now 6 major planets are going into the house of the 12th Lord and this is about me loosing my identity or my ego to find my pureness or higher-self. According to my chart I will be reborn spiritually by the 3rd of January. My north node was my coming home to my guides or moving north on and in this earthly reality. It is a beautiful spiritual mystery as towards what will happen. But I know this I just have to let go, let God and flow.

My Grandfather’s Native Wisdom

 

My earliest memory of my Grandfather.. My mom and dad were staying with my grandparents in Carson City Nevada.. I was sleeping in my grandparents bed with my sister and I think my cousins ( it was such a long time ago so I am doing my best with my cloudy memories ) I woke up with a start as I heard my grandfather Cecil exclaim loudly ” Holy Mackerel ” ( he loved to say that when he was excited ) I remember reaching for the glass of water that my grandmother had placed on the night stand, to find it full of small floating, dead bugs .. my grandmother then burst into the bedroom ..she leaned over us and said softly ” Your grandpa wants you to get up and come outside to see the meteor shower.” I remember how excited my grandfather was; when we all sat on the front porch at his feet to watch the stars fall.. he was the biggest kid of all..and he said ” Father Sky is showing Mother Earth how much he loves her ” My grandmother loved that because she hugged him.. it was magical.. my grandfather had a way of making nature magical.

Around that same time; way back in the very early 70s.. my grandfather decided one night that we should go for a drive in his beat-up pick-up truck to go and chase the full moon.. I remember how he stuck his head out the window to howl like a coyote.. but he got the real coyotes going.. I remember that desert night being so bright with moon light and magic..and my grandfather saying ” You could drink the Milky Way through a straw tonight ” and it was like that in the desert ..back then anyway.. there wasn’t any artificial light .. just the stars and the moon…and on some nights the desert storms would cast their natural fireworks..

My Grandfather taught me much about the sacred… he loved to build a fire… one night in Washington.. we camped by a swamp.. it smelled so bad. I complained and complained about how much it stank.. he said to me ” That isn’t a bad smell, it’s the smell of life.. White people think everything should be perfect.” ( When I refer to my grandfather saying white people.. he meant tamed and overly domesticated people..or conformist..to him ” The Man” meant people who invented the plastic world of consumerism ) He said of the swamp ” Everything must rot and die back to make room for new life.. that smell is life.. with out things decomposing .. that would be the real crap.. Mother Earth is completing a cycle.. that smell is the smell of green ” It was from that moment on that my favorite color became green.

As we sat by the fire and it sparked up into the sky.. my grandfather said to me ” Do you see how the sparks are like the stars Gracie? Do you see how you are like the stars Gracie? Do you see that your ancestors are like the stars..do you see that the stars.. the fire is inside of you.. do you see that you are your ancestors Gracie? We are ancient.. do you see that Gracie?” I was about 9 years old..and I said ” Yes grandpa.. you helped me see I am the stars.” I could tell he was pleased.. He then picked up his banjo.. and he started to beat it like a drum.. like a heart beat.. and I knew it was the heart beat of the earth that he was playing.. my heart, his heart, your heart, the universal heart.. he began to play the strings.. and then the music took him away.. you could see his body but you knew his spirit traveled on the musical vibration.. to become one with the cosmos.. he was like a whirling dervish.. he was reaching a state of ecstasy.. he was in a trance and in communion with The Great Spirit.. The fire crackled and sparked.. orange and yellow.. black and red..and my grandfather hunched over his banjo..his long hair falling over his face.. he was star traveling.

My grandfather smelled like sweet pot and zippo lighter fluid..and he always had zig-zag rolling papers on him.. he was a hippy.. but he said.. ” Native Americans were the first hippies..the real hippies. We are not vegetarians.. that’s hippy dippy shit.. we hunted for survival not sport.. we didn’t waste a thing… our ancestors only took what they needed.. and they only left behind the hides they took.. their bones and foot prints( meaning no living will or belongings ).. that’s a real hippy.. everything else is bullshit. The White Man has to own the land; they took what was perfectly imperfect and made it into sparkly shit.. they depressed us with taking our Mother away from us.. we are wild in spirit and need to roam .. but they took that away from us and domesticated the land.. they domesticated us..and our true spirit grieves the freedom of the land to be one with the earth.” He told me then, what many people are just understanding now ” Pot, mushrooms, peyote isn’t bad; it helps us connect with The Great Spirit”  As a child I loved the scent of pot and zippo lighters.. because they reminded me of my grandfather’s hugs and laughter. My grandfather’s laughter was so honest..and explosive.. it wasn’t tamed or toned down..and when he laughed everyone around him laughed.. I haven’t seen many domesticated white men laugh like that.. their social masks are too thick… they might crack.

My grandfather would tell me how much I was like his mother..he explained to me that she was like a medicine woman.. because she saw between the worlds; she was wild inside.. like a wild dove; wild woman.. she could see through people and she knew when they had bad spirits ( when they were crazy )

One day my grandfather and grandmother came to visit us in Canada.. we were living in Langely BC.. I was 11 .. It was August..and I was outside on my own collecting snakes and grasshoppers. I was a tomboy.. so sometimes I played alone because the other girls.. including my sisters didn’t like to get that dirty ..or collect snakes and bugs. I wore my bikini out into the open fields and streams .. nothing but a walking stick and a bucket to collect creepy crawlies in.. My grandfather came looking for me..and when he found me he had such a look of love on his face.. he said ” Look at you being like your great grandmother.. a wild child with dirt on her face and grass in her hair! Now show me whatcha got in that bucket!” He was like a child again..as we sat in the long marsh grasses.. feeding the snakes in the bucket grasshoppers.. I could tell he was proud of me then.. and he said ” I am so glad to get way from all the chatty women .” it was our moment.

My grandparents divorced..and my grandfather became truly free.. he was like the wind..sometimes no one would see him for long spaces of time.. I don’t think I saw him again until I was 19..he came to Canada..by that time I was living here in Kelowna BC Canada.. He met my then boyfriend..and I could tell he didn’t like him.. he said to me ” Gracie, lets for a walk in the open hills above you.” I knew he wanted to talk..and to be out in nature.. what he said to me was truly prophetic .. he said ” That boy you are with is an asshole you deserve better.. you will leave him ( I did a few years later ) Gracie what do you want from life? ” I said ” I want to get married, have some kids and own a home.. I want some land and horses.” He said to me ” You think you want that shit but you don’t Gracie.. you will get those things and you will think you are happy for a little while.. you will find a man and he will try to tame you..and he will think he has.. but he will be wrong.. because you have an ancient wild spirit within you.. The Wild Woman.. she cannot be tamed or domesticated.. you are your great grandmothers .. great grand daughter.. she had the same look in her eyes.. one day that spirit will come to a knowing of it’s self..and she will roar like a flame with in you..and he will run ( and he did ) but you will be free..and the next one who comes will be free..and he will have the wild within him” and then he continued on..” Gracie were do you think you go when you have an orgasm?” I was speechless..because I don’t think I had really had one yet..and because I had spent too much time away from my grandfather ..and so I wasn’t used to his honesty and openness anymore ( my white was showing .. I was somewhat domesticated to white shame ) my grandfather was wise..he knew it.. so he said to me ” Marriage is bullshit.. it condones ownership .. and it sexually represses..and teaches sexual shame.. there isn’t any shame in sex Gracie.. when you have an orgasm.. even if you just give yourself an orgasm..you are becoming one with the cosmos.. that is sacred..sex is sacred.. not shameful..it is natural and beautiful.. religion is bullshit.. there are no rules or doctrine to becoming one with The Great Spirit.. Nature is the only church you need..and your body is the temple.. the orgasm is the bridge to the cosmos.. ” And so it was my grandfather gave me a spiritual sex education.. he said ” One day you will walk away from this shame Gracie and when you do you will know you are a medicine woman just like my mother.. your great grandmother..and when the shame of nature and all that is natural is cast aside from society..all nature will heal.. including the Native Peoples.”

And like the wind..like the gypsy he was.. I never saw my grandfather again..and years ago he passed on.. but under the full blue moon.. while I was skinny dipping alone in the wilderness of Okanagan Lake.. I heard him speak to my soul.. and I heard him say as I stood in the hot night wind..naked and wet.. alone .. he said ” Wild Child.”

And I was reminded that I must write about him..and his ancient wisdom.

{ In memory of Cecil Ackerman }

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