Posts Tagged ‘why men fear feminism’

The 4th Wave of Feminism and Breasts

I think that during my entire lifetime, up until this very point I have been on a journey towards owning my feminism. I suppose I haven’t quite understood what feminism is myself as the topic and movement have been made quite complicated by those who oppose it. The majority of those that oppose feminism or equality towards women are traditionalists that are comfortable in their conformity and entitlement. The women whom repress themselves I have learned through study have internalized misogyny. Internalized misogyny is when a woman unconsciously and consciously chooses to believe her sex to be inferior compared to men and so she must follow the rules of a patriarchial society for her own good, because she believes that her female hormones in her female body cause her to be not as intelligent or as competent as a man.

I have learned about the 4 waves of feminism and upon studying and researching this I now understand why some feminist think women like me who empower themselves through their sexuality are not feminists. It is because the second wave of feminist believed that women who displayed their sexuality were self objectifying themselves; therefore asking men to objectify them. I have since researched why it is almost impossible for a woman to objectify herself. It is not probable for a woman to objectify herself unless she sees herself as an actual object, sexuality is natural and our bodies are who we are, it is not the woman being sexy or sensual that is objectying heself but it is the lens that society has placed on women’s sexuality that objectifies a woman or women. You don’t self objectify by expressing or being your sexuality, but your sexuality can and has been used by big corperations and media to sell objects and that is objectification. Both men and women can be objectified through this lens but it is mainly women who are objectified in society run by corperations. Second wave feminist like Gloria Steinem divoced themselves from their sexuality so that men would stop objectifying them. Gloria Steinem accused Madonna the Pop Artist of self objectification, and according to Madonna she told her that she was not a true feminist because of her self objectification. But as I have stated that is a false concept. Many second wave feminist will see me much like Gloria has viewed Madonna. I found this out contacting a second wave feminist publishing house, they published a book on the ancient goddess to empower women but they found my nude or semi nude pictures of me as the goddess to be self objectifing. These woman have done so much for feminism but this is why the 3 rd wave was needed to further reform feminism.

But going back to the 1 st wave of feminism. The first wave of feminism was the martyr phase as women called themselves The Women’s Suffrage and suffer they did for all women to get the vote, they were beatenin  the streets and went on long hunger strikes in protests, they were met with violence and hatred from the male based or patriarchal legal system as they attempted to make women people and not objects to be owned by their husbands and fathers. They had to shine a light onto the victimhood placed upon women and children under the control of men who were given the power and entitlement to turn violent and brutish at will.

Back to the second wave of feminism; the second wave was begining to adress rape culture by addressing pornography and the objectification of women’s sexuality; but by adressing this many feminist of that time stripped themselves of their own sexuality so as not be seen as self objectifying and this caused the feminist sex wars. Of course pornography needed to be adressed as it was and still is using women’s sexuality to sell product. Pornography was selling and sometimes still is selling the world on rape culture as it deplicts men’s orgams and men’s sexual satisfaction over women’s and it puts women into victim roles, and roles of domestic abuse. Pornography and the media also promoted and still promtes a unattainable body image towards women. Pornography created through the lens of the patriarchy or male entitlement is abusive towards women and if taken in that context it can and has cause violence and other abuses towards women. But taking sexuality away from women as being self objectification has caused women to erode there true empowerment by denying there basic nature; much like what happens in and through the lens of religion.

And so with that we see the 3 rd wave of a more modern day feminism that promotes the ideal of women stepping into their power through embrassing their sexuality, and loving the natural and unique curves of a realistic body type that is simply their own. We as 3rd and 4th wave feminist understand that the 1 st and 2 nd waves of feminism were needed as towards the evolution of feminism and we also understand that feminism will continue to evolve but; 3 rd and 4 th wave feminist are working to abolish the sterotypes placed upon feminist as ball bashing, angry, anti man haters. Many 3 rd and 4 th wave feminists even have difficulty with the word feminist as a way to define them because they feel it excludes men in the wording. I myself have had this conversation with my daughers who are 15 and 17 as to what young girls their ages think of the word feminism. They have told me ” We like the word humanism ” Listening to my daughers and other girls their age, I think it makes sense, because in order for feminism to work it has to include all of humanity. Many men who fear feminism fear that they are disposable to women and no longer are needed in their role of protectors; the truth be tol, that if a man believes and up holds the value of women as equals and is willing to act and speak out in the defence of equality he is very much needed by women and all of humanity. The modern day feminist or humanist is about the intesection of all these roads, towards justice and equality for all.

I am a 4th wave feminist as I use social media to attempt to share and enlighten others towards justice, equality and social acceptance of all humanity. I believe we need to constantly be reforming religion, laws and politics just as often as we have been reforming feminism towards humanism as women have only wanted to be treated as having ownership over themselves just as men do. The feminist/humanist believes in sexual freedom, race and gender equality and a free flowing spirtuality over the dogma, repression and diversion of religion.

As a 4th wave I own my sexuality, I express my sexuality as artistic and empowering and I believe everyone has a right to chose modesty or nudity, chastity or to explore their sexuality on their own terms.

“Don’t take the misogyny so personally”

 

 

 

Taking the misogyny personally was my biggest mistake upon publishing my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) and my blog/website.

Because my book and online profile contain my image and personal story my ego got in the way of me taking it all too personally. I should’t of published people’s real names on my blog because in away I was showing them and the world that they had gotten to me on a personal level..and that was unprofessional of me personally as it impacted me on a personal level more than it impacted them on a personal level. It didn’t bring the issues to justice but rather showed how naive I was to the ways of the world.

Yes, what I have done is unprecedented as there are very few women whom have freely expressed their sexuality outside of male boundaries; as we know the entire world is run through a male lens of approval in all things.. but especially female sexuality. In many ways women are slaves and we are enslaved within these boundaries that we have named and defined as ” The Glass Ceiling ” I didn’t break the glass ceiling as it still exists for all of womankind but I simply rose above it and that is called ” Thinking outside of the box.” as misogyny would have it ” Thinking outside of the box” is for men not for women as we are supposed to submit to men thinking for us. So who was I not to see that this would bring the wrath of misogyny towards me?

And so I took it all so personally, when in fact it wasn’t a personal attack it was an attack on all women to stay within the boundaries or the prison of sexual repression made for us by men; a prison that has been long standing for thousands of years..since Roman Times.. since the beginning of the Patriarchy or of religions world wide that worship male superiority. Superiority being the state of being superior to women. I flew in the face of that and so I needed to be put back into my place by both men and women that live within these boundaries. Many men whom love their misogyny because it gives them entitlement towards women and other minorities..and women who are afraid of being brutally repressed staying within the boundaries of misogyny as a softer form of punishment vs the emotional abuse inflicted on women like me for not staying in their place. It is much safer for women to stay in the place allotted to them by powerful men rather than to be punished and made an example of like I have been made an example of by a powerful man.

But I shouldn’t take this personally as this has been going on for thousands of years..it’s not personal at all but rather unconscious and conscious ways in which misogyny runs the world.

It wasn’t me personally that they or he hated it was the threat towards taking away their or his entitlement but also the enlightenment of their or his own wrong doing towards humanity as a whole. The wrong doing towards their own feminine aspects within their own psyche ..the imbalances within the self and within them outside of them towards their own female family members, friends ..etc.. it wasn’t me personally that they or he repressed but the repression of their own growth or souls worth..

The Brock Turner’s of the world and their fathers..and their father’s, father’s in essence raping the feminine of their own being by repression of all women. They repress their own humanity, they repress love as a whole by not wanting the true equality of women ..not wanting their own female children to walk the night unraped, murdered or beaten ..because breasts and vaginas are just like fingers and toes.. they are just apart of our bodies.. but the whole of women overtly sexualized for control and commodity to be bought and sold into sexual slavery.. but they enslave their own hearts and souls away from love..

But I shouldn’t of taken it personally.. because it’s been going on for thousands of years..and I am sure my book is ahead by a century.. or so.

Why women are afraid to be feminists

 

I think the image posted above pretty much sums it up. Women are afraid to say they are feminist to men or take on the label of feminist because they don’t want to appear to be less feminine to men, they don’t want men to think that they are ” Man haters” and they don’t want men to think that they wish to emasculate them.

Women, young and old; fear that if they seem too independent, opinionated or forceful { assertive } that they will scare men off..or even worse incur their wrath, and so they will refrain from calling themselves Feminists. Of course women have good reasons towards these fears as they do happen quite often; because feminism has been branded that way overtime. The first Feminist who had to fight for the rights of women to vote, to be educated and not to be men’s property..and to own property in their own names had to be .. what would be considered ” Ball Breakers.”  see.. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suffragette

The Suffragette’s and other movements like this, ready did suffer for all women today, as they were imprisoned and put themselves through hunger strikes.. they were also beaten while protesting. They truly did stir up the wrath of the Patriarchy just so they and all women today could be seen as people rather than property to be owned by their father’s and husbands.

We still do risk the wrath of men today by being denied by some of them { love and protection } but by women not being willing to take a stand for their rights and the rights of the future generations we will be doomed to repeat the same dysfunctional patterns of behavior that has caused our society to be sickened with violence and injustices of all kinds.

Many groups of people are stripped of their basic human rights due to ignorance and prejudice and that is why groups like ” Black Lives Matter.” really do matter and that is why we have ” Gay Rights Parades” to draw attention to the fact that they are targets for abuse, because they often have their basic human rights stripped of them due to sex, sexual orientation or skin color.

There is no need of ” Manists” since they are not asking for equality but rather trying to maintain their power over minorities; this isn’t equality but rather emotional and mental abuse and bigotry.

The point is .. we need to redefine feminism by eroding the stereotype of what a feminist is as a person; I am a feminist and I don’t hate men. I am a feminist and I don’t wish to rule over men but like most feminist; men and women, I wish to be given equal opportunity, equal rights and equal pay for equal work and talents.. or intellect.

What feminism needs to be ultra successful are both equal male and female numbers; in saying that the Gay Rights Movement needs all of us to see that equal rights for everyone are equal rights for all of us.. and we need people of all skin colors to see that we must all stand for ” Black Lives Matter.” to create true justice and equality for all humanity. There is only one race and that  the human race.

As a Canadian I am proud of my Prime Minister Justin Trudeau for calling himself a feminist, thereby encouraging other men to step up and other women to come out of the feminist closet. I am hoping that within time Mr. Trudeau will implement equal pay, equal opportunity and equal rights.. I am sure he is working on it as am I making my voice matter upon writing this blog post.

As time goes on everything changes; as we know better we do better.. our Feminist Great Grandmothers had to be ball breakers as they were breaking out of this Patriarchy Prison; they had to do what they had to do..but things change when circumstances change. Lets all educate ourselves towards breaking free of ignorance towards enlightenment, to create true equality and justice for all.

 

Why is feminism becoming the F-word?

First off.. happy birthday to Gloria Steinem.. she is an Aries just like me.. it’s interesting that I a writing this post on her birthday.

 

Definition of feminism
noun

 

1.

the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.
2.

(sometimes initial capital letter) an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.
3.

feminine character.
As you can see the definition is pretty simple. But for some reason I am finding a new definition of feminist online.. and it is a bitter, man hating, ball breaking bitch. It seems that women seeking equality are branded as wanting to destroy men or take away the rights and freedoms of men by gaining equality. I suspect the reason that feminism and feminist are being labeled as the new F-word is based on fear. All bigotry is based on fear. It seems men who label feminist as ball breaking bitches fear that giving women the same earning power and sexual freedoms would make them less as men.  One can reason that they glean their manhood by the control of women. It seems that in order for true equality to take up root and grow,  men need a different definition of manhood. That definition would change from being commander and chief of his woman .. family or community towards building true partnership and community by the equal sharing of responsibilities.  If a man defines his masculinity by violence, brutality.. being unemotional and in control of everything and everyone around him.. he will see a woman seeking equality as a subordinate seeking to undermine his manhood. A man who defines himself through control and power over others as being a man.. will see a feminist as a threat and then punish her and demean her to get back said control. I think that is why many women fear stating or standing as feminist…because they fear the punishments inflicted on them my macho alpha males.. I know this for fact.. So many women will bash feminism and feminist to gain male approval and protection from this punishment.
Feminist are also bigoted by how they are perceived to look..I have been told that I am too feminine or pretty to be a feminist..I have had both men and women inform me of this. I have been told feminist dress like men, where no makeup… look like butches and are lesbians. The stereotyping is insane!
Many people don’t realize that men can also be feminist..and not be overly feminine in appearance. Any man that stands for, believes in and seeks out justice and equality for women is a feminist.
Feminist want control over their own minds and bodies.. just the same as men. We want access to safe abortions and birth control. We don’t want to be slut shamed for our sexual history, we don’t want to be judged as sluts for dressing sensual.. our bodies, our choices.. just the same as men.
It’s really simple stuff actually.. we are tired of religious dogma trapping our wombs and bodies with the outdated concepts of the world’s virtue and purity being placed on our sexuality..we are sick of our sex and sex lives, or virginity..or lack of it..being used to place worth upon us.
We are really sick and tired of entire industries holding us captive by using.. and over sexing or bodies to sell product..industries that are run by macho men .. telling us what to look like and how to present our sex to them to please them and not ourselves.. we are tired of being owned by our husbands.. by industry and religions. We want to make equal pay and have equal say so that we are not bound to abusive men by  the necessities of financial survival.
If you are a woman and you want to see these things happen in your life time.. if you are a man and you want to see these things happen in your life time.. if you are a person who wants to see equality in your lifetime for yourself and for future generations.. you are a feminist… you are not a bad word..
You are a decent human being.

Why men fear feminism

 

I have been talking to a lot of my male friends about this topic, younger, older, married, single.. some with blue collar jobs and some quite wealthy.. this was the main and the foremost reason given..

MEN FEAR FEMINISM BECAUSE THEY FEAR LOOSING POWER AND PRIVILEGE BECAUSE POWER , CONTROL,LEADERSHIP, AND DOMINANCE ARE SOCIETIES DEFINITION OF MANHOOD OR WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A MAN.

So the answer to this problem is to redefine manhood. But that is a big problem, because that means we need to completely turn society on it’s ear. Because religion creates traditional beliefs  ( like men being the head of the household ) and puts these traditional beliefs into politics, that influence law and justice, governments and all social structures; including media that objectifies women and butchers the ideal of feminism into man hate. This fear ( man hate ) further propels us into a war of the sexes ( that is competition instead of co-operation ) between the sexes.

Men are taught to compete through sports and business; as we see a traditional media headline as MEN,POLITICS,SPORTS & BUSINESS 

 

So what does a guy do when he sees a woman as competing against his power and control but to attempt or to power and control over her, as men are socially conditioned to believe that they are entitled to this power and control. Men also have the added pressure from other men to keep power and control away from women, not to be powered over or controlled by women or he will be judged by other men as not living up to his manhood.

Now adding sex to the equation .. men are taught by society to objectify women, that having many women at hand makes them more of a man; so when a woman does the same as a man she is controlled by society by slut shaming towards making her way back into traditional roles. When a woman is in her sexual power; or being the same as a man, and not answering to the double standards she is then feared as disrespecting manhood in general. Men also see women asserting their sexuality as being sexually manipulative; using their sex to confuse and control him..and so he will view that as further competition against his manhood, as they say rape is about power and control not about the sex. For many men the sexual turn on has become the power, control and abuse of a woman way before the actual act of sexual intercourse. So when women want sexual freedom it is seen as a direct assault against his manhood, and that is why women worldwide are punished by society by the control of their sexuality. She is seen as having it coming to her for daring to compete.

So if this definition of manhood is the root cause of social strife, lack of justice and the evolution of the human condition; we need to redefine manhood as men protecting women. It seems to be deep within men’s biology to serve; to serve a purpose, that purpose being a higher purpose is to uphold and protect women and children not to power and control over them.

I think the biggest injustice to men; towards this old pattern of macho behaviors, is that it keeps men from becoming team players and builders, instead it teaches men to destroy as they concur for the pure sake of conquest.

If the war of the sexes continues the heart of humanity will die; it is dying, we need to evolve for the pure sake of psyche or soul.

As women we need to be firm but gentle with our men and boys; by understanding there is a shift of consciousness happening now, in these times. This evolution or change; growth can be a painful process for humanity; by placing blame upon each other we solve nothing. What we should be doing is learning from the problems, but not focusing on the problems; we need to be working as a team or as a whole by focusing on the solutions.

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