Posts Tagged ‘unconditional love’

I am a Goddess not a Nasty Woman

 

In a spiritual context Dr. Emoto showed through experiments that when water was infused with positive words it created beautiful crystals but when it was infused with negative emotions and words it created ugliness; also buddist monks are able to transcend into bodies of light by thinking only in abstracts of love, when they die their bodies are found to be the size of infants or only fragments of them remain. Scientists are still puzzled by these events… so if women are calling themselves nasty and vulgar they are becoming the energy within those words even if they attempt to redefine the original meaning, the bitterness and ugliness of this energy will eventuall become them. When I speak of God in the poem below, I am speaking of God in the sense of love not in the constructs of religious dogma that has shown though history to be toxic by it’s oppression.

Now changing the subject to the METOO movement and to feminism as a whole. Feminism has become an organization now owned by liberalism by redefining it through a George Soros liberalism lens that is to ” Look through a glass darkly ” as I expressed by it being tainted and made toxic with hatred towards men and towards the white race as any racism is racism. The METOO movement has become and is gaining more and more speed towards a male witch hunt or towards the castration of masculinty to further control the masses towards our enslavement to the elite. The way to ensure the enslavement of humanity is to turn us on each other, on our basic nature and to brainwash us by constantly redefining words. If you control words, you control thought, if you can control thought you can control minds in masses.

I have identified myself as a feminist before the liberalism definition of feminism took hold by integrated feminism, that is really to put patriarchy into feminism by the acceptance of the violent repression and oppression of Islam as pro women’s equality, this is a lie to wash out true women’s rights and equality. I did write a METOO about W. Brett Wilson and his oppression of me and my book, blog as a member of his gym; but upon seeing many professional men and men in Goverment being found guilty until proven guilty or innocent, I don’t want to destroy a man who I feel just made a stupid mistake. More importantly for my own sake on a spiritual and personal level it is in my own best interest to forgive him. To forgive him I am removing bitterness and toxic energy from my own soul, heart and spirit.  Upon watching the women’s march and listening to the toxic spew of hate and bitterness; watching women take on the identity of victim by being victimized, I can see what I do not want to become. Seeking revenge or wishing to avenge a wrong that my ego wants made right will only cause my heart to be full of rot and hate and it will push love in all it’s forms away from me and my own life.  So I write the words here of forgiveness and, as I have said words weave magical spells..

I forgive him 

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Please go to my youtube channel to watch me read the poem below

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The Woman’s March used by the state to push division and hate.

To fuel the fires of the war of the sexes created by religions, used by elites as a tool to turn men against women and now women against men-

To call themselves nasty women, to promote vulgarism over the divine feminine within them.

But I am the divine feminine. I am not a nasty woman

Yet they march with Linda Sarsour who stands with and for the islamic state that hates women’s sexuality and commits acts of violence on women’s bodies in the name of modesty.. and this is the patriarchy.

But they march in hijabs made with american flags using the symbols of freedom to march backwards to their own oppression.

They say I am a nasty woman I am a vulgar woman

They deny their higherstate

They deny their own divinity and they walk away from their DIGNITY

I am not a nasty woman I am the divine feminine

For I rise in grace

I rise in Love

I rise in Forgiveness

I rise by raising the divine masculine in men up, I rsie with the unity of the men in my community….

ect.. ect

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Please go to my youtube channel of the rest of the poem. Please go to Amazon.ca for my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) ~ By Gracie Ackerman

 

A New Life

 

It has been about a month now since I moved out of Kelowna. I know it’s very hard for nonspiritual people to understand this; but it was my guides or my Angels that guided me out of Kelowna. I was told by them under the full moon light, to go north. I was shown clearly in a vision and in dreams that north was home; I was shown that I was supposed to be close to nature so that I could heal from the pain of the many rejections that I experience in Kelowna. You know the spirit works in mysterious ways, very much like the 12th Lord or the 12th house in astrology. These mysterious spiritual ways are very Neptunian, dream like, like mists of figures that you see out of the corner of your eye, or when you hear your name called out just before waking.. and so they called to me to follow the north star home. I completed my spiritual purpose or mission in Kelowna. I created my book and I did all the things I had to do to set the hands on the clock of fate.. and such is divine timing..but they haven’t let me know much about that. Somethings like divine timing are mysteries to those of us in the flesh, and that is why we have faith. But I was told to lay it all in their hands and go into obscurity, to set my ego down and let go and let God. And so I have. I pulled these runes to let them tell you and me as to why I had to do what I did.. when I moved back into the country.. were you can leave your doors unlocked and walk around naked with your drapes open because there is nobody to see.

 

Ansuz ~ To be with the Divine and know the true nature of my own divinity, to give my children peace and a stable home.

Inguz ~ To find harmony and balance through better personal relationships with more grounded and centered people. To clear away old relationships to bring in people into my life who are real so that I can experience the wholeness of myself by being able to be my true self around them. By being able to be my true self without other’s inhibitions being placed on to me; I will come to wholeness and then meet a mate who will love me for my true self.

Sowelu ~ My life force returning by my regeneration of not giving my energy to others who refuse to see me or respect me for who I truly am. The retreat was a retreat of strength as I no longer will be present for others to drain me of my energy because they cannot find their own light within. Many mistake the light in others as a way to drain and feed their own egos with it; by my leaving such people or such a society I am now keeping my life force to myself. I will grow stronger as I become more and more of who I am by not allowing them my time or the space to ego feed off of my light or spirit. I will regenerate and heal my aura or light body. I will develop the art of doing without doing.

 

Kelowna or the city life was a rat race. Kelowna’s society was highly competitive without completion; in other words all their striving was for nothing but to say ” I am the most popular.”  If  I would of stayed in Kelowna I would of lost my freaking mind. I just couldn’t make sense of the fake business world that was not professional or the fake spiritual world that was based on trendy clothes, popularity, ass kissing and PURE EGO. My sensitive soul simply couldn’t tolerate it.

When I fell in love with a man named Matthew Cipes upon our first meeting it was just that, it was me seeing his soul and loving him unconditionally. I still do. But even though he is apart of the spiritual community he couldn’t trust me or that love. And I forgive him because it is uncondtional. But many in the spiritual community came at me to hurt me for daring to feel that way ,to tell him about it and to write about it. That is what is maddening about Kelowna and Kelowna society. I wasn’t considered good enough or pure enough or something not enough to dare feel love for someone who was considered to be way above me by societies standards or financial standards. He and they wanted me to feel ashamed for my feelings, he and they were so intentionally mean. But so many things about Kelowna are just awfully mean.

The thing is this; the refection of how I feel about him is a projection of the love that I have inside of me…and so doesn’t it make sense that the cruelty that they showed me is a reflection of how they feel about themselves or what is inside of them? I have absolutely nothing to gain here by saying that I loved him instantly upon laying eyes on him almost 2 years ago as I have left the city. I am sure I will never see him again. I have nothing to gain but to attempt to alchemize or transmute hate into to love.. but then I am not responsible for how others react or how they behave towards me; as that is their own perceptions to take responsibility for.

He or many in the spiritual community would say to me ” How did you attract this situation into your life.” it is a spiritualistic way of not taking responsibility for how they or he treated me. I didn’t attract other’s willful ignorance they are responsible for their own humanness or shortcomings. The point is I saw through the lens of love it was their bitterness that I allowed to eventually taint me.

But now I am free of that energy and I have cleared the way to let love, love through me once again and I will open up my heart wide again to let the light shine through me .. to let love find me as I find love once again in my new life.

Through a spiritual lens again; I have 6 major planets in my 1st house. This is the house of individuality or identity and that is what I played out in Kelowna. I found my identity and I used my identity as art or expression in my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine) I used my image in the photography and I used my own life story to express the story of womanhood. My north node is in Pisces and now 6 major planets are going into the house of the 12th Lord and this is about me loosing my identity or my ego to find my pureness or higher-self. According to my chart I will be reborn spiritually by the 3rd of January. My north node was my coming home to my guides or moving north on and in this earthly reality. It is a beautiful spiritual mystery as towards what will happen. But I know this I just have to let go, let God and flow.

To Kiss Him

 

My heart will not forget him. I try so hard to harden my heart as his heart is hardened to me.. I tell myself ” What is meant to be will be.” but oh how I miss him..

Spring..a warm day as we sat on the beach.. and I looked into his sparkling, diamond, green eyes.. to see his soul.. a soul so sweet that I was swept off my feet.. and the walls around my heart; they did crumble and fall.. leaving me vulnerable and weak.. oh, how I miss him.

And the words ” I Love you.” they wanted to cascade off my lips like waterfalls of bliss.. but I caught them before they fell.. before they made a sound..but my heart still yelled ” You love him.” and I wondered what it would be like to kiss him..?

I watched his lips then, as he spoke his words then ..and I wondered ” How soft they seem to be.. how sweet and tender .. how would he taste to me ?.” and my heart broke wide open.. weepy and sweet like honey at his feet.. yet he seemed not to believe me..and why should he? So many bitter and broken women had come before me..speaking sweet words that were just candied poison..and so he miss read me.. for my heart is true.. and I am truth.. and I fell in love with the god within him..

And so he cast me off as days went on.. thinking me like the rest.. like the women who whispered of love and passion but hid the blade until he feel upon it.. leaving him bleeding and broken. I saw the wounds .. I felt his pain and with all my heart I wanted to mend them.. to hold him in my arms like a newborn babe .. to give him love to heal them.. to bring him light and love..to bring him joy and bliss..but he thought me to- good- to- be- true..and so he pushed me away from him.. and he did to me what they did to him..and because I understand; I forgive him..because I love him.. like a mother loves her babe.. because I know the soul within him..

So spring turned to summer..and summer to fall..now fall to winter.. under the Christmas moon.. my heart longs for him..and I wonder ” What would it be like to kiss him?” and I felt his soul brush with mine..or was it just wishful thinking.. and I saw him in my imagination.. his fuzzy beard.. his wavy hair..and then I kissed him..

Unconditional love

I think I have discovered it.. for someone other than my children..

It’s been 6 months since I met him.. we hardly touched.. it was a spiritual connection.. a soul to soul thing that I really wasn’t expecting and that I have no control over..

He didn’t feel the same.. but the feelings haven’t left me..and so it isn’t an ego thing of expectations.. as romantic love is defined.. you see it has no definition at all..

It’s a letting of everything that love is supposed to be..

You know.. because we think it’s supposed to bring a future..but there isn’t one here… it’s just an energy thing..

My ego doesn’t get it.. because the ego needs to define everything.. and so I can’t but a finger on why.. or how it came into being.. what it is cannot be described at all..

But the feeling is total free fall into intense vulnerability .. there is no bottom..

It’s like your heart just being broken open.. just exposed, raw and bleeding gold.. it’s just like that..

It’s the feeling that makes you choke.. sob.. and contemplate the meaning of life..

But I suppose..as I am only guessing .. just maybe..that is the reason for it.. I don’t know..

Because it’s better to feel than feel nothing at all..

And then my ego wants to believe it’s a reflection of the purity of my heart..

But is it so pure.. or do I just want it to be.. or just maybe I want to hang on to the fantasy of what I think he is..or hoped he was..or wanted him to be..

Or maybe it is pure.. maybe I am just glad he is here.. somewhere just being..

I don’t know.. it’s just frightening ..and infinite ..so big that it makes me feel so small

I feel so tiny and fragile at the enormity of it all.

Core

 

I exposed my heart to you now what are you going to do..

I am vulnerable, soft and sweet a tender treat..

I shared my secrets; my deepest demons and my angels too..

but I have no regrets in telling you that I love you..

I now that you know that I am broken what will be my punishment..

will there be vengeance from you my darling nemesis?

I am torn in shreds and that I don’t regret, because I have spent all my rage..

my heart is out of it’s cage..

I am crushed like ripe grapes..

my heart is pulp, bloody red and raw..

but the ecstasy has transported me to deep euphoric harmony..

I am enraptured in the depths of ravishment that overpowers me..

how exquisite this emotion like a fine wine drizzled on my tongue..

I am undone; the art of ripping a heart apart..

to the core, to the essence of the center open and sore..

abraded, inflamed by a passion untamed,  that has bewitched me..

but my heart is free from rationality that imprisoned me..

I didn’t know I was ravenous and starving for lust..

so devastate me, plunder and dissenter to liberate me..

break me in pieces so beautifully to be enchanting and ravishing..

I surrender willingly..

I am so sorry

 

I am so sorry for the harsh words that I said in anger..

I am so sorry for the way I looked at you when I was mad..

It wasn’t even your fault but the words spit out like hot burning coals of fire..

I forgot myself and I fell into the deepest pit of my humanity.. so many mistakes I made, when I should of caught myself.. there is no excuse for hurting you..

And to see you crying because of the words I used with abandon and abuse..

I am so sorry..

I adore you .. and when I hurt you I hurt myself too.. you are the other half of my heart.. the reason that I breath.. please don’t leave..

The thought of loosing you because I lost my cool is more than I can bear.. I can’t spare one single day without you here..

Please ,, please forgive me… I am so sorry..

I humble myself.. I am on my knees.. begging you to please see I was just in pain and acting out that way was my release..

I am so sorry..

I hit the bottom now.. not knowing if you will forgive me baby..

I am so sorry..

How could I hurt such a warm and tender heart.. you’r so devoted and so caring.. I was hateful and so mean, please.. please forgive my brutality..

I am so sorry..

I am lucid now that the heat has cooled in me and I comprehend that I need to mend this rift between you and me..

I am so sorry..

I am so blessed to have you dear.. you are priceless and I cherish this love so much so that I can admit I was wrong..

I am so sorry..

Baby please forgive me

Until love finds away

 

I will do my very best; put on my pink dress until love finds away

I will love myself and everything all around until love finds away

I will make make beauty out of ugliness until love finds away

I will soar with the doves to heaven above until love finds away

I will be like a child and go outside and play until love finds away

I will adore all that I see with child like eyes until love finds way

I will be grateful for all that have until love finds away

I will seek health and happiness until love finds away

I am going to be just sweet little me until love finds away

I am putting on my make up and flowers in my hair until love finds away

I will be sweet, kind and gracious until love finds away

I will be all that love seeks so that love will find away

I am his oasis

 

I am his oasis.. as the world is a barren place.. he comes to me to fill his heart and slake his thirst. I am his nourishment and his sweet fruit.

He comes to me dry and parched many arrows run through his heart; as he has been to warring in a world full of cruelty he needs me.

I am his oasis

There is no need for his white trusty steed; he shakes his dented armor free as he comes to have his fill of me.

On my soft breast he rests his weary head; to cry brittle tears; as he has been strong for far to long but I judge his weakness not.

I am his oasis

His bitter tears of pain untold turn to sweetness within my folds and then within he takes what he needs from me.

My cup is full and it runneth over; he can take so much more of me forever more over and over.

I am his oasis

In me he sheaths his sword and plants his seed and then I grow for him the new strength he needs.

I am his oasis

The world promises him dreams of fortune and fate; but with his battlement it doth pay, but at a price of leaving him dry.

For fortune and fate cannot mandate the depth of a woman’s heart that heals his wary soul’s plight.

I am his oasis

I give to him soft rest and breast, sweet thighs that await him to penetrate them.

In the morn he brave again, is ready to raise again to the fight.. because..

I am his oasis

My love is the cup that fills his dry parched soul again, again, for I am his for the taking.

I am his oasis

Declaration of LOVE

 

On this love hope floats

On this love everything grows

On this love my heart explodes

On this love

On this love

I will not give up; I will not give in to despair.. I will will repair

On this love

On this love

My heart and yours blossoms and blooms on what is new and alive

On this love

On this love

I declare that sorrow cannot stay as the rays of hope and warmth dissipate hate

On this love

On this love

Grief cannot stay and the heart it cannot stray away into a sorrowful place

On this love

On this love

There is grace a glorious poetry of blessings that bring kindness and beauty

On this love

On this love

We can see the music of all reality playing out in you and me

On this love

On this love

All is elegance, beauty, loveliness and charms singing on the notes of hope

On this love

On this love

All joy flows in harmony and the melody is in you and me

On this love

On this love

I declare the end of war, and greed, all misery, desolation and heartache

On this love

On this love

We emancipate all of mourning and melancholy towards grace

On this love….

A Love Poem

 

The clock strikes twelve and the fates have allowed that I should be with you

 

Jupiter’s Gold, with circling moons, like crystal spheres, lets loose wishes come true for me and you

 

The Archangel and the Cherubim soar, red wine soaked arrows find their score; through the armor of past love hurts, towards the opening of the heart

 

Old pain is forgiven, forgotten as new love rushes in with red stained passion; amending new trust with it’s blessed gifts

 

The emancipation of the heart, the absolution of the pain; resurrection of the soul, free to love again

 

As it was you; the miracle, the vision, the beautiful prayer given answer to.. that caused me to believe in love gain

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