Posts Tagged ‘The Martyr’

The Goddess

( From the book ~ The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ~ ) Available on Amazon.ca

The Martyr

 

You will find her busy all day and night; she seems to take on the world single handedly, she chooses suffering as service. She chooses to suffer by neglecting herself, by putting others needs before her own. Her house is never clean enough, her children never quite live up to her high standards and her mate cannot do as good of a job with the chores as she can.

 

She wears her suffering as a badge of high standing; the world owes her for her enduring suffering. She sleeps little; she doesn’t sit to eat, because she is still puttering around the kitchen. But those she serves are never at ease as they are made to feel uncomfortable with her steady glare as they sit down to eat. She is not enjoying her dinner, but you must enjoy yours to please her. But she cannot sit to eat; but you must, as it will make her happy to be unhappy.

 

She takes up every cause; she works at every charity, she works her fingers to the bone, she is out of shape, she says she doesn’t have the time for such things because someone has to do all the work; of course she means her. She tells you that it must be nice to sit and read, she tells you it must be nice to have time to have your nails done. She says she doesn’t have the time to do these indulgent things; the entire world would fall apart without her running things.

In her presents you must do as she thinks is right. Your house must be clean, just the way she cleans hers, you should live your life through your children as she does hers. She puts them first at all times, they are in all the sports and extra activities, even if it means she cannot afford things for herself. The Martyr puts herself last as all good women should. She suffers so much for you; but you don’t seem to care, she thinks, as you do not take care of her the way she takes care of you. She does everything for you; she thinks of you first, she doesn’t sleep at night so that all the coffee beans are ground just right for you. She folds all the laundry just right in the middle of the night; she gets up at 5 am to start making bread from scratch, she cleans the walls, she cans veggies from her garden and just like in the good old days; she hangs the laundry on the line. She does it all just for you. She smothers you with her advice that you are too selfish to take. She would die for you and she tells you so; but she says you don’t care enough about her to do the same.

 

Her husband pushes her away; he is so sick of the nagging, but he is spoilt by her constant care, the Martyr needs a jailor and he has taken up the role in the dysfunction by accepting and the expecting her constant care. She blames him for her over working and he blames her for his emotional misery; the circle is constant as they feed off each other’s codependence.

 

The Martyr lives in every woman to some degree as we have been taught by women throughout the centuries in these behavioral patterns. Good women cook and clean; good women do not complain; good women make the man the head of the household; good women are under him as his servant. A good women exist to make his life more comfortable at their own expense. Good women do not enjoy life; they do not play, they do not nurture themselves they nurture everyone else while becoming depleted, boring and bitter.

 

This woman is a child; she manipulates like a crying infant to get her way. What she wants is to be is the one taken care of by others, she manipulates by using her suffering to inflict guilt and shame on those she loves to bind them to her. If she gave herself love and nurturing instead of giving it all away to others she could find her emotional maturity. If she stopped playing the game of “Poor little me” she could have time to live her life instead of trying to live her life through others. The truth is she is afraid, she is scared of taking responsibility for herself, for her life and to take risks on her own of her own creations and passions. The Martyr hides behind others so that she doesn’t have to blaze her own trail; so that she doesn’t have to risk, fail and succeed on her own. The Martyr is afraid to live.

 

All women are socially conditioned to be her; we have been conditioned by princess fairytales through Hollywood; to live our lives through our men and children. It is time woman took control and responsibility of our own risk to succeed, fail and succeed.

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