Posts Tagged ‘The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine’

Wonder Woman/ United Nations/Sexual Repression of Women

 

http://www.cbc.ca/news/entertainment/wonder-woman-un-ambassador-over-1.3893625

“Although the original creators may have intended Wonder Woman to represent a strong and independent ‘warrior’ woman with a feminist message, the reality is that the character’s current iteration is that of a large breasted, white woman of impossible proportions, scantily clad in a shimmery, thigh-baring body suit,” the petition read.

Lynda Carter the actress who played Wonder Woman is Hispanic but the fictional character or the Goddess Archetype of Wonder Woman was Greek not white for starters. The statement above is a sexually repressive statement “a large breasted, white woman of impossible proportions, scantily clad in a shimmery, thigh-baring body suit” what it insinuates is that if a woman shows her breasts and thighs she isn’t empowered and isn’t to be taken seriously..and that is sexual repression. This sexually repressive attitude towards women’s bodies and the way they dress themselves trickles down to women being shamed for breastfeeding in public or wearing the wrong thing, at the wrong time, in the wrong place with the wrong man..that lead to HER rape. The statement is stating that women who are sexual and or beautiful, women who are being sexy and or feminine are not empowered but are disempowered, therefore they cannot empower other women.

I want to make this really clear; the reason I show my femininity and or my thighs and breasts in my photography is to own my body and my sexuality on my own terms. The reason I wrote my book ( The Goddess, an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) ~ by Gracie Ackerman.. was to fly in the face of conformity and in the face of a sickened society that is sickened by the patriarchy owning women’s sexuality by repressing us or selling us on their terms. I want to make this perfectly clear * ** as long as women are sexually repressed they will never be free; by being free I mean that they will never have the same human rights and privileges as men*** a man will never be asked if he is raped or beaten ” What were you wearing? Why were you intoxicated? Why were you out so late at night with a bunch of women alone? Did you let them kiss you?” that’s what I mean by human rights and freedom. The freedom to not have the double standards thrown in our faces as a way to control our every thought.. the right not to have to think about { minimizing our risk } or minimizing the amount of cleavage or thigh we show before leaving our home.

I do believe that a woman’s super power is in being in the fullness of her womanhood; in whatever way that looks like to her, in however she defines her femininity or Inner Goddess, be she modest or free in her body. I grew up watching Lynda Carter play Wonder Woman, I have  the DVD collection right by my TV. Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman inspired me to write my book and this blog, she was a huge force in inspiring me. Wonder Woman was both the Artemis and the Venus, this is an ancient understanding or archetype in all women. She is both the virgin and the sexually experienced woman, she is the lover and the warrior. To rip women’s sexuality away from her empowerment is to render her powerless!!!!!!! This stinks of the patriarchy that condescends and controls women like sex slaves. Women become either dumbed down martyrs or whores to be treated as sexual objects to be sold for male profit. We see women being used and sold for profit by the entertainment industry, the beauty industry and by religion that is actually an untaxed business, a business that bases it’s funds on the sexual repression of women.

Feminists are not fugly. When women feel the need to dress and act like men in a corporate world to be taken seriously they have become prisoners of a society that is sickened by the imbalance caused by the repression of women. The Fugly Feminist ~ a woman who purposefully covers up her sexuality to look less attractive or feminine so that she doesn’t distract her male co-workers and so that she will be taken seriously in the conservative business world

Another example of the patriarchy owning women’s sexuality is that it tells women what body type is or isn’t sexy and expects all women to fit into these imposed norms, just recently The Province posted a story about Kim Kardashian’s more heavy set and curvy body setting a trend through Playboy towards allowing women to put on more weight. I just cannot believe a new’s paper would write and publish a story for Playboy towards telling women what men or the patriarchy wants us to look like. In reality the answer is look like who you are! For fuck sakes!!! What century is this!!!!?

Now we have Trump; a out -of -the -closet misogynist, about to step into the powerful role of running modern America! I man who bases the way a woman looks appealing to his eye as to her value in society.. but gawd forbid Wonder Woman should be a role model towards girls and women owning their own sexuality on their own terms.. gawd for bid women should own their bodies at all..as we all know that Trump thinks abortion is murder and that women should starve themselves thin in order to please him and his corporate world..

With sex shaming Wonder Woman we have sex shamed all women.. even way back in the ancient culture of Greece, the philosophers and politicians knew better..

Humanity is slipping back into the tar sands.. we are devolving as our civilization is degenerating into a mediocrity that causes us to become complacently abused.

“Don’t take the misogyny so personally”

 

 

 

Taking the misogyny personally was my biggest mistake upon publishing my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) and my blog/website.

Because my book and online profile contain my image and personal story my ego got in the way of me taking it all too personally. I should’t of published people’s real names on my blog because in away I was showing them and the world that they had gotten to me on a personal level..and that was unprofessional of me personally as it impacted me on a personal level more than it impacted them on a personal level. It didn’t bring the issues to justice but rather showed how naive I was to the ways of the world.

Yes, what I have done is unprecedented as there are very few women whom have freely expressed their sexuality outside of male boundaries; as we know the entire world is run through a male lens of approval in all things.. but especially female sexuality. In many ways women are slaves and we are enslaved within these boundaries that we have named and defined as ” The Glass Ceiling ” I didn’t break the glass ceiling as it still exists for all of womankind but I simply rose above it and that is called ” Thinking outside of the box.” as misogyny would have it ” Thinking outside of the box” is for men not for women as we are supposed to submit to men thinking for us. So who was I not to see that this would bring the wrath of misogyny towards me?

And so I took it all so personally, when in fact it wasn’t a personal attack it was an attack on all women to stay within the boundaries or the prison of sexual repression made for us by men; a prison that has been long standing for thousands of years..since Roman Times.. since the beginning of the Patriarchy or of religions world wide that worship male superiority. Superiority being the state of being superior to women. I flew in the face of that and so I needed to be put back into my place by both men and women that live within these boundaries. Many men whom love their misogyny because it gives them entitlement towards women and other minorities..and women who are afraid of being brutally repressed staying within the boundaries of misogyny as a softer form of punishment vs the emotional abuse inflicted on women like me for not staying in their place. It is much safer for women to stay in the place allotted to them by powerful men rather than to be punished and made an example of like I have been made an example of by a powerful man.

But I shouldn’t take this personally as this has been going on for thousands of years..it’s not personal at all but rather unconscious and conscious ways in which misogyny runs the world.

It wasn’t me personally that they or he hated it was the threat towards taking away their or his entitlement but also the enlightenment of their or his own wrong doing towards humanity as a whole. The wrong doing towards their own feminine aspects within their own psyche ..the imbalances within the self and within them outside of them towards their own female family members, friends ..etc.. it wasn’t me personally that they or he repressed but the repression of their own growth or souls worth..

The Brock Turner’s of the world and their fathers..and their father’s, father’s in essence raping the feminine of their own being by repression of all women. They repress their own humanity, they repress love as a whole by not wanting the true equality of women ..not wanting their own female children to walk the night unraped, murdered or beaten ..because breasts and vaginas are just like fingers and toes.. they are just apart of our bodies.. but the whole of women overtly sexualized for control and commodity to be bought and sold into sexual slavery.. but they enslave their own hearts and souls away from love..

But I shouldn’t of taken it personally.. because it’s been going on for thousands of years..and I am sure my book is ahead by a century.. or so.

Why women are afraid to be feminists

 

I think the image posted above pretty much sums it up. Women are afraid to say they are feminist to men or take on the label of feminist because they don’t want to appear to be less feminine to men, they don’t want men to think that they are ” Man haters” and they don’t want men to think that they wish to emasculate them.

Women, young and old; fear that if they seem too independent, opinionated or forceful { assertive } that they will scare men off..or even worse incur their wrath, and so they will refrain from calling themselves Feminists. Of course women have good reasons towards these fears as they do happen quite often; because feminism has been branded that way overtime. The first Feminist who had to fight for the rights of women to vote, to be educated and not to be men’s property..and to own property in their own names had to be .. what would be considered ” Ball Breakers.”  see.. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suffragette

The Suffragette’s and other movements like this, ready did suffer for all women today, as they were imprisoned and put themselves through hunger strikes.. they were also beaten while protesting. They truly did stir up the wrath of the Patriarchy just so they and all women today could be seen as people rather than property to be owned by their father’s and husbands.

We still do risk the wrath of men today by being denied by some of them { love and protection } but by women not being willing to take a stand for their rights and the rights of the future generations we will be doomed to repeat the same dysfunctional patterns of behavior that has caused our society to be sickened with violence and injustices of all kinds.

Many groups of people are stripped of their basic human rights due to ignorance and prejudice and that is why groups like ” Black Lives Matter.” really do matter and that is why we have ” Gay Rights Parades” to draw attention to the fact that they are targets for abuse, because they often have their basic human rights stripped of them due to sex, sexual orientation or skin color.

There is no need of ” Manists” since they are not asking for equality but rather trying to maintain their power over minorities; this isn’t equality but rather emotional and mental abuse and bigotry.

The point is .. we need to redefine feminism by eroding the stereotype of what a feminist is as a person; I am a feminist and I don’t hate men. I am a feminist and I don’t wish to rule over men but like most feminist; men and women, I wish to be given equal opportunity, equal rights and equal pay for equal work and talents.. or intellect.

What feminism needs to be ultra successful are both equal male and female numbers; in saying that the Gay Rights Movement needs all of us to see that equal rights for everyone are equal rights for all of us.. and we need people of all skin colors to see that we must all stand for ” Black Lives Matter.” to create true justice and equality for all humanity. There is only one race and that  the human race.

As a Canadian I am proud of my Prime Minister Justin Trudeau for calling himself a feminist, thereby encouraging other men to step up and other women to come out of the feminist closet. I am hoping that within time Mr. Trudeau will implement equal pay, equal opportunity and equal rights.. I am sure he is working on it as am I making my voice matter upon writing this blog post.

As time goes on everything changes; as we know better we do better.. our Feminist Great Grandmothers had to be ball breakers as they were breaking out of this Patriarchy Prison; they had to do what they had to do..but things change when circumstances change. Lets all educate ourselves towards breaking free of ignorance towards enlightenment, to create true equality and justice for all.

 

The Goddess in Every Woman

 

The simplified definition of a Goddess is a woman who lives her life in balance.

The opposite of a Goddess is a woman who is a martyr. A martyr is someone who suffers for others. A woman in her Goddess or who has brought her Inner Goddess to the surface ” made conscious of the fact that she deserves love and respect ” refuses to allow herself to be used or abused. She isn’t going to attempt to save others who are not worthy of her time or energy; she will not give herself or time to others who take her for granted.

A Goddess understands that she needs to fill her metaphorical cup first to overflowing before she can nurture others with her love and time. A Goddess knows that she deserves the first sip of her cup of love; simply because she must love herself first to truly love those around her.

We see society making women into martyrs by socializing women into being nice girls that give and give and give until they are totally depleted, bitter, frustrated { including sexually frustrated } and angry.. an unheard anger that can simmer under the surface as rage.

I have been researching other authors or bloggers post about how they believe a Goddess should be ” She would walk with her heart fully open. She should be full of grace and sweetness. She should give unconditional love. She should be very beautiful. She should always be forgiving. She should be giving always. She should wear light make up. She should look natural. She respects herself by not having sex with multiple partners as she is saving herself for The Divine Masculine man.” etc.. etc.. these so called Goddess attributes or characteristics are not of the Goddess archetype but rather of the Saint or Martyr archetypes .. The Goddess would be considered to be more hedonistic as she has an appetite for pleasure. Yes she is compassionate, loving and beautiful within the right context.. but she is also assertive, strong, powerful and a force to be reckoned with. We must also reason that beauty is in the eye of the beholder .. and so the Goddess is analysed into or organized into multiple templates of archetypes…because yes that is how complicated womanhood is.. she is the trinity; The Maiden. Mother and Crone.. Daughter, Mother and Grandmother.. and she is also

Mawu or Gaia – Mother Earth.. all that is natural

Artemis – Guardian.. huntress

Ishtar – Sacred Whore, lover, Mother and Savior

Sophia – Holy Spirit, wisdom and female God

Freyja – Female Warrior

Kali – The Beginning and the End, the infinite of death and life. The Destroyer!

Maat – Justice and fairness; the Universal Law

Bast – Independent and vengeful

Isis – Mother of Creation and Culture

Vesta – Domesticated house wife

Venus – Love, lust and beauty or hedonist

A woman in her Goddess is authentically who she is with out apology, she is her own beauty in it’s unique form; she is an individual. A Goddess has learned her lessons from the Crone aspects of her own psyche..from the Baba Yaga within her, that has shown her the world is full of beauty and ugliness.. that a wise woman doesn’t leave her heart open to strangers.. first she tests them with riddles and waits upon their responses and actions.. in other words.. you have to earn her total trust..and because she is wise to the ways of the world by trusting her own intuition she trust herself above all others.

As you see it has very little to do with attracting men.. that was another post that I read written by a man. She isn’t enlightened, awakened or walking in her Goddess for a man as his approval isn’t needed..and that is essence is a true Goddess.. Your approval isn’t needed!

A Goddess isn’t ashamed of her body, or her sexuality, she doesn’t hide or make small.. she isn’t here to save your ass.. or to entertain men’s fancies.. she is here to save her own ass. The Goddess will not carry your cross ” Your inner baggage.” nope..she will set it down beside you and leave you to it while she continues on her own path of spiritual enlightenment.. she isn’t Christ or a Saint .. she is Goddess..

She has sex the way she wants to with whom she wants to, and spends her time the way she wants to with out feeling any martyr guilt.. why should she; that’s your shit?

She values herself by knowing her time is valuable so don’t count on taking up space in her head either.. she has better things to do. She knows the value of the moment.

So as you see this is a very realistic definition of a Goddess.. and I think really one of the only true definitions that you will find online..that isn’t flaky and hokey.

Imagine a world were women stopped allowing the world to use them? A world were women’s time was just as valuable as a man’s time? Imagine the balance outside in the world if it was within each and every woman? Imagine her taking time for self care and nurturing? Imagine women satisfied in and out of the bedroom? What a happy world this would be.. but it starts with women drawing boundary lines..it starts with women saying ” No! I don’t have endless time and energy to give away.. I am saving some of me for me!” We would all be better off.

Of course we need men to balance their inner Goddess so that she can be a God too.. it’s perfectly acceptable for men to nurture themselves by expressing and exploring their inner emotional worlds. So as you can conclude being of The Divine Masculine and Feminine simply means to balance your inner world or archetypes { Anima and Animus } to find inner peace or enlightenment… this isn’t just flaky spiritual stuff, this is psychology..

So to those who put on the mask of being enlightened .. who call themselves Goddess of this that or the other, or Shaman so and so.. have you really done the inner work?

This isn’t just about just being pretty or sexy .. this is about healing yourself to heal the world..

It all starts within ..as Carl Jung said ” He who looks outside of himself dreams.. he who looks within awakens.”

That is the path of Gods and Goddesses.

 

You can find my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) on Amazon.ca under Gracie Ackerman

Infamous

The Eclipse in Pisces has been a real emotional and spiritual roller coaster ride for me.. as my spiritual guides came back to me with a force. I was reminded of my souls purpose and life path; and I was told to let go of my ego or be dragged along an ugly path by it. You see it wasn’t ever my intent to become or try to become famous by writing my book or putting up my online profile. It was my soul’s intent to deliver a spiritual message to the world for the divine, or cosmic energy. After I put up my profiles and started to self promote my book and message.. I was told by others that I was fame hungry and that I was self branding by going topless in the photography in my book, and on my website. Of course this is how worldly people would view me as they are socially brainwashed by what exists in the media towards how women’s sexuality is promoted. Need I remind my reader that society deems, that a woman who uses her body or sexuality to promote herself is judged as an attention whore or quite simply a whore..and so I was told by many over and over again that my message wasn’t spiritual in nature but selfish and pretentious.

The first dream from my guides was given to me 2 nights before the eclipse .. in the dream my Angels had me put my book ( Message ) in a bottle. I walked with them on a sea of stars as the told me to release my message in a bottle to the cosmos..and so I set it free to float down the river of stars…and then they reminded me ..they said ” The message was for you to let go of. You are an instrument of the divine, yet you will not see worldly fame for this message, the message will reach the right place at the right time.” In the dream I wept; and my tears became one with the stars..and the Angels said ” Let it go Grace, you have lived out your divine purpose by creating what will inspire the next generation of Goddesses.. let it go and let us do the work now. Go on and enjoy the rest of your time on Earth.. go and find peace.” As I began to awaken, I heard them call out to me ” We will send you a sign that you cannot deny as the truth..that will set you free.”

And so in my waking life I waited for a sign.. but they brought another dream to me.. I was with the pop star Madonna in my dream. She wasn’t dressed to be on stage; she looked relaxed like she was on vacation. She wore little make up and she was dressed in loose fitting white clothing..she said ” Grace come and sit will me, I have a message from your Angels for you.” and so I sat with her on the wicker and she played with my hair like a mother does to her daughter..and she said to me ” George Stroumboulopoulos was right Grace.. the message is for the next generation, the world is too fucked up to get it. Do you give women of power permission to promote this message? Grace will you let your ego die?.. now is the time.. the time to throw your ego’s pride onto the fire.. to ashes with it Grace.” I looked at her with tears in my eyes and I said to her ” I only want the message to make it through. I want women to be free from a culture that sexually shames us and own’s us as things for sale.. that blames us for being raped and murdered…that tells us it is our fault for being to open, loving, beautiful and vulnerable..that tells men with this, that it is their right to own our bodies and sexuality.. yes I am ready to release the message to whom ever will do it justice.” and I wept. Then she said to me ” Grace you are to pure for fame. You were never meant to be famous because the world eats people like you up. There are horrible empty souls that walk the entertainment industry that would drain you of that shine. You are like a child.” as she said so I became a child on her lap.. with a round face as she twirled my hair in her hands to make it into a twisted bun shape..and then she held up a mirror..and said ” See your soul self.” and I saw a child in pure white, with a pure round face.. and then I awoke..

And then all day I looked for the sign.. or waited for the sign.. I read my dream book..and looked up the images..and in searching for the meaning of the dream I went to Madonna’s twitter to look at images of her..and that is when I came upon this picture of her and her children..and yes this is exactly how she and I looked in the dream.. I was the child on her lap

 

I know my reader.. you may think I made this all up. That I went to her twitter and found this image and then made the story up around the image.. but I didn’t. That is the way the spirit or the divine does these things though.. it’s unexplained.. many times there isn’t any real tangible proof; yet the sign is real to me that I was spoken to directly from the other side. Carl Jung believed that souls meet in dreams to speak to one another..This eclipse took place in the North Node of my astrological star map.. Pisces is my North Node or my life path direction.. Pisces is about spiritual sacrifices made to benefit all of creation..and so it is very Christ like..to make a sacrifice with out any personal benefit to the self..

There were many other slight things that happened to me as well that were meant to drive home the message..a friend telling me she wanted ” 15 mins of fame” and my guides telling me.. ” Not everyone is meant to be famous.” and then just today another parent brought up the famous in a conversation with me..and it was deep.. the end of the conversation I knew my guides were speaking through him as some people whom I don’t know, know me because of my online work..and they will come up and tell me. I am not comfortable with fame.. I just want to listen and watch .. to hear the spirit world talk.. and let my ego die..

I like being infamous because as a spiritualist and artist I need to walk unnoticed.

Goddess of Love

 

 

It’s Valentines weekend. It is very easy to get caught up in all the fuss. Valentines Day is supposed to be a day of love or a day for lovers; but actually it is just a great day for retail. Lovers should share their love everyday, and single people should love and value themselves as singular people everyday..  I think it is important to keep grounded and real during the hype.. if you are in a relationship or not, because Valentines Day can make people feel bitter and resentful, jealous and stressed; rather than loved and grateful. It is  important to stay in the moment and to take stock of what is truly valuable and meaningful.. like the simple things..as love is beautiful simplicity .. it’s human’s that make love complicated.

As a woman it is very important to value and love yourself first before ever getting involved with any one romantically. Why go on a date with someone who isn’t worthy of you just to go on a date for Valentines Day or any other day for that matter? I know so many single women giving their time and energy away to men who don’t deserve it.. the players, cheaters and the men that don’t actually want to commit ..the game players.. a woman who is in her Inner Goddess or Queen, Diva etc .. wouldn’t and will not put herself in that position. Using myself as an example; I didn’t haunt dating sites or pursue men.. because what is meant to be will be.. instead I focused my attention and energy on myself and my kids.. I focused on being grateful for the beauty that I have already in my life.. and like a true Goddess I create and am creating a beautiful life all around me.

To become or come in contact with your Inner Goddess.. is to simply be more and more of yourself everyday.. to love and honor yourself, spiritually and physically.. to express your sexuality on your own terms.. whatever that may be to you. To become a Goddess is to be authentic, real, raw, brave and unique. A Goddess is iconic.. not like what the fashion or media world would like us to mimic.. because Goddesses come in all shapes and sizes..all races and ages..as she is timeless and infinite.. if a woman tells you that you must behave, look or act like what she thinks a Goddess is; don’t follow her because she is speaking from ego and conceit, not from the Divine.. because SHE  ( The Goddess ) wants you to be you.. the Great Goddess..the MOTHER of all Creation whats you to be as she birthed you..because you were born that way! You were born to be you!

There are many misconceptions as to why I do this.. many men think that I express my sexuality and use my image to get male attention and many women think I do it for the same reasons. A Goddess expresses her sexuality for herself.. that is what makes her a Goddess.. she doesn’t pretend or become anything for anyone else and she doesn’t give a fuck about what other people think about her being herself. A woman’s sexuality is as much apart of her as is her personality or name.. she is what she is..and a Goddess is whole unto herself… and yes this is intoxicating and powerful..and frightening to many people..because it is rare.. society teaches both men and women how to behave..and women are taught to become what men judge as sexually pleasing as men are taught to become what is sexually pleasing by mainstream media.. and so then we wonder why women and men cannot connect intimately or why both men and women are so confused in relationships. It is because we can only pretend for so long..and then the mask falls off .. when a woman or man is authentic and unique it is powerful and potent.. it is awe .. he becomes The Divine Masculine and she The Divine Feminine.. when both a man and a woman carrying their Inner God and Goddess come together the Earth moves.. And so I am waiting for my God.. he is simply a man that takes no shit..and is himself.. he doesn’t give a shit what you think.. he is a man that cherishes and protects women.. he hasn’t any need to compete or control.

As a Goddess I love and cherish myself the way I want to be loved and cherished by a man. Giving myself this type of photography makes me feel sensual and beautiful. Giving myself roses on Valentines Day is my way of telling myself that I am worthy of love..I am worthy of a great and powerful love..and that love already lives inside of me..because I am me.

It is my hope that this blog post inspires you to be uniquely you.. I hope you find away to pamper yourself and cherish yourself.. and when that special person comes along may you both pamper and cherish each other

Happy Valentines Day

Love

Gracie

Open Letter to Justin Trudeau

 

To get to the point, the subject of this letter is women’s rights and equality. My book and life are based on this subject. I am the subject in question as are all women and/or Canadian women.

My qualifications are not based on PHDs or graduate degrees, my spelling, punctuation and grammar will not be perfect upon writing this post. I am a single mother so I cannot afford to have someone edit my blog. Like most single mothers I am very busy; as I write this my three children are settling in bed.. let’s hope they stay that way so I don’t loose my train of thought.

I want to share my personal experience as a woman living in Canada, under Canada’s flawed and sexist justice system.

I found out how unfair the justice system is going through my divorce. I learned through the judges and lawyers that my work wasn’t as important as my ex husbands work. I learned through them that he was actually the leader in the marriage and the one that was truly responsible for the family landscaping business. It didn’t matter that I had to work for a Government Grant to fund the start up of the business. A grant were I was taught how to write a business plan; were I had to pitch the plan to a board, and that I had to compete for the 3 grants up on the table against 30 other competitors. But I learned the 51% of the business that he had signed over to me to fully qualify for the grant didn’t really mean anything in court. I told them that the business didn’t actually need him for me to run it on my own. I told them that everything he did I could hire out to be done and I could still turn a profit. But that didn’t matter to the judges, the lawyers or the mediators. You see men’s work is more important than women’s work because they told me he was the business and so it should be his. And I wasn’t named on the mortgage, because of student loan dept at the time; it turned out that when the house sold he could take 1/3 more of what was not his. Of course I could of kept lawyers after him, but with no money and legal aid a complete joke ( basically you have to sell your car and almost be on the street to get legal aid ) my ex got away with an extra $22,000.00 and the business. I got $600 a month in alimony.

So Mr. Trudeau how will you change the system so that this doesn’t happen to other women? Are you going to change legal aid? Can you somehow teach lawyers and judges that women’s work is just as important as a man’s work? I want to know if you are going to implement equal pay? I don’t think it is fair that just because a woman can give birth she should be put behind in the pay grade.. do you?

Later on I found it impossible to get my ex to pay for his share of daycare. I tried to go back to school using a big lump sum of Family Allowance back pay. You see my ex wouldn’t sign the papers for the Government stating that we were legally separated; he still wanted to do income splitting with me to help himself ( he thinks he is more important than me and the children, and I wonder why that is? ) I had to get lawyers to get him to sign..so I was given a nice fat sum of $7,000.00 I went to college to get upgraded on my Executive Secretary. But my ex refused to pay his half of the childcare. I couldn’t afford keep hiring lawyers so with no help from legal aid my abusive ex caused me to have to drop out. I had to pay the childcare owning by him, myself. But wait it gets even better. A year or so later my ex took me to court because my car has an electrical problem and I can’t drive it long distances to drop the kids off to him; and so he comes to get them and drive them home. The judge wouldn’t even look at the papers my mechanic gave me as proof in court. The judge refused to make my ex pay for childcare as I didn’t provide proof that I was working or looking for work..( I didn’t know I had to provide proof I wasn’t applying for welfare ) but then they told me I had to find a full time job not a part time job and they wanted my preteen daughters to take the bus home from school across the city while I was going to be working at said full time job. The judge threatened me by saying ” If I wanted to I could make you pay for the last year of your ex husband’s gas.” The judge refused to listen to me when I told him that I was entrepreneuring a book, a concept and movement towards freeing women from sexual repression. He refused to look at the book; and in the minutes later mailed to me.. he refuse to acknowledge that I had even wrote a book.. he said ” Wants to write a book.”

Mr. Trudeau I was invisible in that court room. What are you going to do about this? Why is hearsay ( rumor or gossip ) sound like her-story..and history is recorded fact? Why are male voices heard and female voices passed up as non-important? It was like I was a ghost.. was I even really there to them? Why are judges able to financially abuse women with threats of back pay on what isn’t owed?

Mr. Trudeau when our house sold I wanted to use the money to move to Vancouver from Kelowna to launch my book. Kelowna and the Okanagan is a very Christian/Conservative community. Writing a book about women’s sexual repression to sexually liberate all women wasn’t going to be received will here. It wasn’t. My ex took me to court to order the court to stop me from moving. It would of only been a 4hr drive for him and he has family in the area. My future career and my right to the freedom to live were I choose were taken from me using the children as an excuse. I wasn’t moving them out of province or across the country. I was told by the judge that I had to remarry or be making more money than my ex husband to have that right.

Mr. Trudeau why do I have to be a man’s wife to have more rights and freedoms? Why do I have to have money to have more rights and freedoms? If I was a man I know the same wouldn’t of applied.

Mr. Trudeau I want to know why they system wants to make it so hard for me to be an independent and successful woman in my own right? I want to know why women have to work around this crap when men don’t. I want to know why many men get away with working under the table, thereby not paying the full amount of child support that they should? I want to know why the Government doesn’t audit these fathers? I want to know why the Government doesn’t make men parent? I want to know why these double standards still exist in a first world country? How can we set an example for the rest of the world if we don’t treat women with equality in a first world country?

Mr. Trudeau we are just at the tip of the iceberg here. My girlfriend was murdered by her husband in her house with her children in her house with her. He shot her. He hid her body in the house with the children in the house for over 12 hrs. This happened in Abbotsford BC. She is gone, her children are without a mother. He got out on bail 2 years after the fact. Don’t women’s lives matter in Canada? I want to know what you are going to do about that? Don’t you think this just sends a message to men that they can abuse and murder women with just a slap on the wrist? This says ” Women don’t matter”

I want to know why a Canadian judge can say to a rape victim in court ” You should of just kept your legs together” and then he is just up for review? How the hell did he become a judge in the first place? Why wasn’t he fired instantly for being a sexist pig? I want to know what you are going to do about this Mr. Trudeau?

I want to know why when I was treated with prejudice by Kelowna’s business community, by not being allowed to network within groups and organizations the Human Rights Tribunal didn’t have a clause to protect me from sexual discrimination; yet it has clauses protecting homosexual and transgender people from sexual discrimination. Why am I and not other women protected with the same rights? Why is it that if I was of East Indian decent and I wasn’t allowed into an organization the Human Rights Tribunal would of protected my rights; but as a woman writing about women’s sexuality I can be discriminated against? You have some explaining to do Mr. Trudeau.

As a woman I want to know why abortion is up for debate in Parliament? I want to know why the female body is owned and regimented by the Government and Churches? I want to know why the bible is allowed in the court room as it clearly creates a prejudice. People should just swear to tell the truth. Not everyone believes in the same God, and religion represses women. Religion states women as being under men..I think that is clearly what is wrong with the justice system. It is tainted by prejudice to create inequalities. What are you going do about this Mr. Trudeau?

Mr Trudeau I know that you have created a base of equality within your cabinet by hiring equal amounts women to men; but are the women being paid the same as the men? You have done some amazing things in the last couple of months for Canada. I think it is very compassionate of you to let in Syrian refugees. But as you can see there is so much more to do. And we both know you need to do it, we need to do it because it is the year 2016..and it’s about damn time..

Mr Trudeau I am sure your wife would agree with me that it is time for The Divine Feminine to rise. It is time that we do away with the double standards placed on women so that the entire world can become a better place for everyone. To find out more about me and my book google Gracie Ackerman.

I hope this letter was enlightening to you; I hope I have helped create positive change and evolution.

There needs to be a peaceful revolution..humanity needs to grow and evolve.

Butterfly

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5NsUXqGy2U

As I watched this video of Kelowna Society become totally undone.. I found myself freed of all the mental confusion due to their prejudices put on me because of my blog and website.. I found their exclusion to be a blessing in disguise. They don’t like my topless pictures; they don’t like my frank talk about women’s issues and sexuality.. or the frankness about how religion has repressed women.. and the flaky spiritual circles in Kelowna don’t want to include womb worship or Goddess Sexuality in their teachings.. but the point is this..after watching this video ..seeing them ignorantly attempt to get Oprah’s attention to bring her into The Okanagan Valley.. I came to the conclusion that they are all suffering from some form of mass hysteria caused by ” Look at me syndrome ” You really should watch this video.. it’s in shocking poor taste.. They wear wigs to mimic Oprah’s hair style..it gets worse at the end.. really bad. In one part the owner of a well known resort calls her ” African Queen” a total racial slur.. he says he will treat her like the African Queen she is ..while wearing a wig that mimics her hair style..but it gets even better.. she is propositioned by a gigolo wearing a wig .. offering himself up to her shirtless in a bed..  I was dumb struck watching the video the first time..but then after that I began to laugh.. I laughed at how ridiculous and absurd all these so called professionals were.. including the then mayor of Kelowna.. I laughed because I knew by being told by Lori herself..that her comedy partner had bailed on her due to the poor taste of Lori’s comedy..because Lori loves to make other look bad to make her look good..and I saw that happen in this video..I laughed because I watched another video of Lori doing a video of the voice message that Lisa left her…telling Lori what a piece of shit she is..and telling Lori to go fuck herself..I laughed because there was total truth to that.. and I wished I had done it .. I laughed because Lori doesn’t know how true it is..I laughed and I laughed at how Lori got all the big wigs in Kelowna Society to look like total morons ( wearing wigs )..and they did it for a moment of fame.. it’s just so circus/circus .. oh yes..their monkey’s their circus.. for the ” Look at me syndrome ” that caused their mass hysteria ..and then I laughed some more when my 13 year old daughter said.. ” Mommy could you image how funny it would be if they did a video of Oprah’s reaction of her watching this video? Now that would go viral!” And then I laughed some more outside in the playground as I showed some other common sense parents the video.. OMG they had the same reaction that I did ” WTF did we just watch.. lets watch that part again with the gigolo and were he calls her African Queen.. OMG were they seriously thinking this was funny and Oprah Winfrey would want to come here and hang with those jerks?”

But then I explained to them how much better it made me feel.. not having the same opportunities to network in the groups they all network in..how I didn’t just dodge a bullet.. I dodged an entire Valley of dumbass.. And we laughed..and laughed ..and I felt myself become light.. and I lighten-up for the first time in along, long time..and the it dawned on me how blessed and lucky I am not to have been put into the same space as these people.. and I saw for the first time that they must be jealous of me..that I really stand for something other than just my own ego..and society bullshit.. And then I was reminded that my book and it’s message are so much bigger than the crap in this valley..

But my daughter made a good point..she said ” Mom .. Kelowna is so pretty…and there are so many good people here..but that video makes us all look like morons.” ( outta the mouth’s of babes )

Lori’s last video addressed to Ellen Degeneres wasn’t much better…it was along the same lines of poor taste and classlessness ..as she goes topless in front of the mayor at City Hall..in a professional setting .. saying she is for the issue of Free The Nipple.. that is about women going topless were men can go topless ( Lori doesn’t actually go topless.).. Lori mocks the issue https://youtu.be/33Pd6sikcCQ.. the difference with this video is that Lori obviously bought views and dragged in all her media contacts to duplicate and splice the video .. she was media wise this time.. lots of her elder followers don’t realize how this works on YouTube .. most of her views are fraudulent… and it amazes me how she can drag so called professional and local politicians into her media frenzy for fame? It has to be some sorta madness.. it’s just so crazy.

But I have learned.. if it doesn’t kill you by-god it teaches you..and I learned about society.. I learned about how many in Kelowna will tell you to ” go break a leg” and actually mean it..” If breaking your leg gets me famous.. I will break your fricken leg bitch.” but it’s so funny..because for what? It put everything right back into perspective for me.. it made me see what a small fishbowl the valley really is..and it made me aware of how small and ignorant some people’s thinking is in this valley.. and also it made me feel ” What a pity it’s such a beautiful piece of land..and there are many great non-society types that live in the valley” ..and ” Let’s hope Colin ..the current mayor of Kelowna doesn’t fall for this bullshit.. he seems to be a classy guy..so stay classy Colin”

But the point of this story..is that I let go of what was weighing me down.. I really don’t give a shit about their groups..they are all bullshit..and I never needed them anyway.. I am blessed to have had them leave me out..and deny me access..their prejudices worked in my favor.. I cannot imagine hanging out with people that slimy LOL.. gawd it’s funny now!

So I am free

Listen to the music

I created these art selfies in the park while being inspired by the piano man. I wanted to show you what the music looks like.

So many things and so many people have broken my heart.. my mind has been greatly troubled and my demons had their way with me.. Everything surfaced when I met with another person who is quite popular and well know in my local community. I knew our experiences were night and day.. I knew that meeting with him would prove to be painful.. yet I had to try.. just try. But afterwards I saw that he was very good friends with many of the people who deliberately hurt me.. by excluding me from organizations.. by being prejudiced against me as an artist..because I don’t create safe wine art..or coffee table art..or decor.. my art is raw and meaningful..sexual and passionate.. intellectual and intelligent .. my art is controversy and so I am controversy.. but the old wounds that didn’t have time to heal..that were still seeping in pain..burst open.. and my mind was filled with the worms that came from the can of worms that was reopened.. upon meeting with a man who has so much more than I have.. one that is my direct opposite in comparison towards being fully accepted vs being labeled as inappropriate..

musical magical spell

So I finally cried myself to sleep last night.. finally the damn burst inside of me..the frustration weeping from me ..turning into silent hot ..scolding tears of the words that couldn’t give verse.. to expressing the rage..that words cannot explain..but only hot silent tears can tell.

I was still in my funk when I took my kids to city park.. my oldest daughter wanted to sunbathe as she did her sketching..and my son wanted to skateboard with the big boys.. I was bitchy from feeling surrounded by Kelowna..feeling sick of Kelowna; as we drove up to find some event going on in the park.. but as we set up..and spread our blankets..unpacked our snacks..the music started to play.. live music..and I felt my self .. start to relax.. I felt the anger start to leave me.. as my children played..and the music played..and the burning sun, kissed my shoulders..

musical bliss

Then a man who wrote his own music and lyrics started to play the piano..it was only him..his heart..and the piano.. and he played it will all heart..

the music in my heart

I felt the tears well up..and my heart climbed into my throat.. his music was so rich.. opulent .. he turned joy to sorrow and sorrow to joy.. it was as if his fingers played the keys and then my heart at the same time.. it was the music.. it broke the evil spell that was cast over me..by me comparing myself to them again.. knowing that they all laugh at me because I am nothing like them.. I, myself knowing, I couldn’t ever be like them.. knowing I will never fit in.. I will never be accepted by them or be appropriate to them.. but somehow the music cast a new spell..a sweet spell of magic that brought me to my knees on the inside.. I prayed to the music as I was present with each note.. fully there on each scale..and then the crescendo broke my heart wide open.. raw and vulnerable .. pure but damaged.. I was with the music..with the passion and purity..with the sweetness and the rage.. ripped apart..wide open ..a bloody heart full of feeling..ripe and bleeding..

music

And I knew this artist playing.. I knew he knew that none of this shit matters.. none of these people matter.. it’s the art that matters.. it’s the music.. it is the creative bliss that makes one bleed on the keys of the piano.. they all listen to him..but it is just him and the piano and they are one.. one with the universal flow of creative energy.. the life force.. and so artist die to their craft to be truly alive…

crazy artist

Every artist walks with a heart that is never fully mended.. we take our pain and we use it to paint our bliss..

blissful surrender to the music

Many who read this will never understand what it is like to walk the earth with your heart bleeding droplets of ruby red…

The Goddess in the Little Girl

When I was a little girl I knew I was a Goddess; I knew it wasn’t evil to feel that way.

I just knew; and I don’t know how to explain it.

I felt that nature was magic; I just knew that all the ancient symbols of magic came from nature. I just knew that the Earth was a feminine force. As adults we like to label and place everything in neat tidy spaces within our minds..but as a child you walk with magic.. as a child the veil is thin..because you still have one foot in the infinite. As a child you haven’t yet been fully tainted and poisoned from dogma and by other’s beliefs ( fears ) the innocence is so sweet.

My earliest memories were of not belonging to my birth family; I was called a wise old soul by many. I was thoughtful and quiet.. often adults forgot I was in the room. But I was also high energy.. I had to move and go places.. I was always wandering off.. off with my horse..with the dog.. off to find wandering brooks.. rolling meadows..big sky..with big thunderheads .. and in the night I could be found looking up at the stars feeling homesick. I thought I was from the stars; I was sure of it.. that I was a star that had fallen in the wrong place.. at the wrong time.. to people who didn’t see the magic.. let alone stars.. if I would shine too brightly I would scare them.. if I spoke too deeply I would offend them.. when I asked meaningful questions that other’s wouldn’t dare even think to ponder.. I  would bother them.. so off I would wander.. sometimes I would find other children like me.. not often.. but when I did we would wander off together to be Gods and Goddesses..we would disappear into our magical land.. and our powers would save the world.. we were safe with each other in the place of Amazons and Knights.

There is nothing new under the sun.. all the magic was always with us..and always will be.. but when we grow up it usually starts to fade.

Many artist manage to not grow up all the way; actors still play make-believe. Artist still see the magic; we manage not to trip into the traps of dogma.

But it’s difficult.. so many fully grown up gown-ups want us to give up..and they label our art as demonic or selfish.. evil and profane.. we are called lazy and crazy.

And I am crazy because I still see myself as a Goddess.. born on a star from a distant galaxy .. I think I was a blue star.. like Sirius..

And when I walk through the wild roses.. when I hike to the beach in my bikini.. my bare feet dirty and dusty.. feeling the Earth Mother become one with me..

I am an Amazon Goddess..and the wild roses grow like magic before me.. just for me

 

For more about the Goddess follow this link to my book

http://bookstore.balboapress.com/Products/SKU-000576933/The-Goddess-an-Expression-of-the-Divine-Feminine.aspx

Links