It has been about a month now since I moved out of Kelowna. I know it’s very hard for nonspiritual people to understand this; but it was my guides or my Angels that guided me out of Kelowna. I was told by them under the full moon light, to go north. I was shown clearly in a vision and in dreams that north was home; I was shown that I was supposed to be close to nature so that I could heal from the pain of the many rejections that I experience in Kelowna. You know the spirit works in mysterious ways, very much like the 12th Lord or the 12th house in astrology. These mysterious spiritual ways are very Neptunian, dream like, like mists of figures that you see out of the corner of your eye, or when you hear your name called out just before waking.. and so they called to me to follow the north star home. I completed my spiritual purpose or mission in Kelowna. I created my book and I did all the things I had to do to set the hands on the clock of fate.. and such is divine timing..but they haven’t let me know much about that. Somethings like divine timing are mysteries to those of us in the flesh, and that is why we have faith. But I was told to lay it all in their hands and go into obscurity, to set my ego down and let go and let God. And so I have. I pulled these runes to let them tell you and me as to why I had to do what I did.. when I moved back into the country.. were you can leave your doors unlocked and walk around naked with your drapes open because there is nobody to see.
Ansuz ~ To be with the Divine and know the true nature of my own divinity, to give my children peace and a stable home.
Inguz ~ To find harmony and balance through better personal relationships with more grounded and centered people. To clear away old relationships to bring in people into my life who are real so that I can experience the wholeness of myself by being able to be my true self around them. By being able to be my true self without other’s inhibitions being placed on to me; I will come to wholeness and then meet a mate who will love me for my true self.
Sowelu ~ My life force returning by my regeneration of not giving my energy to others who refuse to see me or respect me for who I truly am. The retreat was a retreat of strength as I no longer will be present for others to drain me of my energy because they cannot find their own light within. Many mistake the light in others as a way to drain and feed their own egos with it; by my leaving such people or such a society I am now keeping my life force to myself. I will grow stronger as I become more and more of who I am by not allowing them my time or the space to ego feed off of my light or spirit. I will regenerate and heal my aura or light body. I will develop the art of doing without doing.
Kelowna or the city life was a rat race. Kelowna’s society was highly competitive without completion; in other words all their striving was for nothing but to say ” I am the most popular.” If I would of stayed in Kelowna I would of lost my freaking mind. I just couldn’t make sense of the fake business world that was not professional or the fake spiritual world that was based on trendy clothes, popularity, ass kissing and PURE EGO. My sensitive soul simply couldn’t tolerate it.
When I fell in love with a man named Matthew Cipes upon our first meeting it was just that, it was me seeing his soul and loving him unconditionally. I still do. But even though he is apart of the spiritual community he couldn’t trust me or that love. And I forgive him because it is uncondtional. But many in the spiritual community came at me to hurt me for daring to feel that way ,to tell him about it and to write about it. That is what is maddening about Kelowna and Kelowna society. I wasn’t considered good enough or pure enough or something not enough to dare feel love for someone who was considered to be way above me by societies standards or financial standards. He and they wanted me to feel ashamed for my feelings, he and they were so intentionally mean. But so many things about Kelowna are just awfully mean.
The thing is this; the refection of how I feel about him is a projection of the love that I have inside of me…and so doesn’t it make sense that the cruelty that they showed me is a reflection of how they feel about themselves or what is inside of them? I have absolutely nothing to gain here by saying that I loved him instantly upon laying eyes on him almost 2 years ago as I have left the city. I am sure I will never see him again. I have nothing to gain but to attempt to alchemize or transmute hate into to love.. but then I am not responsible for how others react or how they behave towards me; as that is their own perceptions to take responsibility for.
He or many in the spiritual community would say to me ” How did you attract this situation into your life.” it is a spiritualistic way of not taking responsibility for how they or he treated me. I didn’t attract other’s willful ignorance they are responsible for their own humanness or shortcomings. The point is I saw through the lens of love it was their bitterness that I allowed to eventually taint me.
But now I am free of that energy and I have cleared the way to let love, love through me once again and I will open up my heart wide again to let the light shine through me .. to let love find me as I find love once again in my new life.
Through a spiritual lens again; I have 6 major planets in my 1st house. This is the house of individuality or identity and that is what I played out in Kelowna. I found my identity and I used my identity as art or expression in my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine) I used my image in the photography and I used my own life story to express the story of womanhood. My north node is in Pisces and now 6 major planets are going into the house of the 12th Lord and this is about me loosing my identity or my ego to find my pureness or higher-self. According to my chart I will be reborn spiritually by the 3rd of January. My north node was my coming home to my guides or moving north on and in this earthly reality. It is a beautiful spiritual mystery as towards what will happen. But I know this I just have to let go, let God and flow.
There are many false positives.. there is a false light. It can be compared to a fluorescent light.. it gives light and energy but it isn’t a natural or nurturing light..so it causes souls to grow in the darkness of ego projection; compared to the true light, the truth.. like sunlight it humbly touches everything under the sun. The real light doesn’t choose favorites; it doesn’t exclude any living thing from it’s warmth and nurturing. It gives life to all things.. the amount of growth is determined by how much one wants to reach for the light.. just like all living things.. if one pushes it’s self towards the light..it becomes aware of the SOURCE of the light.. becomes ONE with the light.. growth can be explosive!
But those under a false light… their growth is retarded..as the false light doesn’t nurture.. the false light inhibits.. it brings out inhibiting factors on the life it touches..as it’s lack of nurturing feeds what is sick within that life; it brings about disease .. metaphorically speaking the false light feeds the ego.. causing more ego projections and sicknesses to grow.. but the truth or the real light burns away all sicknesses within the soul.. the ego projections are purified with the natural light.
If you are one of those who carry within them the true light.. vs the self labeled Gurus that carry the false light..you are probably much like me.. you have been rejected. We are rejected by main society because they fear the burning away of the ego that the truth or real light; the natural light carries.. they fear true change. Were I live there are organizations that call themselves CHANGE.. there is a self labeled Guru that calls herself The Spirit of Kelowna.. yet they choose who will be fed or accepted by their false light or ego projections.. as I said the real light includes every living thing under the sun.. a false light excludes..it chooses only those who are willing to be blinded to the real light.. it includes through feeding the included by excluding some and including others.. you will know the false light by those who profess Guru status and who profess to be enlightened more that others.. they put themselves above others.. THE SOURCE knows in it’s infinite wisdom ..that all is one and equal to the same. The world is full of the synthetic light or energy.. you will know the real light because it shines through in the darkest places..it rises through the dark night of the soul.. it offers it’s self with humility to all.. the real light serves and includes.. it is equal to all. You don’t need to prove yourself to the true light as it is unconditional love.
The real light goes to what is natural.. as it is of nature and it is natural.. natural sexuality..natural expression.. it lives in reality, as it is of the Earth..the heart chakra.. the root chakra.. and of the intuition and spirit..the real light has deep roots ( it doesn’t deny the body or the flesh; it is the sacred alchemy of flesh and spirit ) those of the false light deny the flesh..as religious dogma has denied the flesh as evil..sexuality ( nature ) as evil.. the true light sees sex as sacred.. the alchemy bridge from flesh to spirit.
If you understand this.. if you understand the spiritual snobbery vs true spiritual service.. you are a light bringer.. you and I carry the light of SOURCE for humility and service.. this isn’t about money or social status for us.. this is about raising the vibration of love ..through the truth the way and the light.. we are simply being the energy.. we are here to cause the combustion of the heart chakra..to burst open.. to flood the light of source across this reality or earthly stage.. we are the game changers.. we are the change..
Keep shining… we have been put into the darkest places.. as a contrasting force against the ignorance of they synthetic ego.. to burn away all the lies..to make way for the truth.
The false light tries to taint the real light as it is in a constant competition with the real light.. keep your light pure by forgiving them.. forgetting them and moving forward.. just keep growing and expanding out the light..go towards the light to be cleansed and re-energized .. stay empowered and positive.. purge.