Posts Tagged ‘slut shaming’

Self Objectification is Almost Impossible

 

Every time I post a comment on a new’s feed on Facebook people will say to me ” Your profile picture is a contradiction. It’s silly and ironic that you say you are a feminist while you self objectify with your online image.” My online image has been a problem for me, you see others in the professional world judge me as self objectifying and so they believe this gives them an excuse to treat me with no respect or even to dehumanize me. Because of other’s judging me through a lens of ignorance I am treated by them with total disrespect, as they assume I don’t respect myself because I glorify my body and sexuality.

To get to the point. When a woman acknowledges her femininity and sexuality she isn’t objectifying herself she is whole, she understands that she is her body and her sexuality and is loving her femininity or womanhood. A woman who hates her body and runs away or denies her femininity and sees her sexuality as bad, evil, sinful or slutty is in fact practicing internalized misogyny, she thinks that stepping into her sexuality of femininity will make her less of a person or even dehumanize her to herself and to others. A woman that is internalizing misogyny is often the one calling other women who are comfortable in their bodies, sexuality and sexual expression .. sluts and whores..because she fears being called this herself by others.

Women who have internalized misogyny will often call themselves feminist, and these feminist often man up or make themselves unfeminine, these feminist often tell women who glorify and honor their femininity and sexuality that they are self objectifying and don’t deserve respect or to be taken seriously. Often these women will rage and rant online and off line about women who are whole and healthy in their sexuality because they are afraid to step into their own bodies and own themselves as whole beings.

The patriarchy; a male base social power system that runs society objectifies women by putting women into their lens of approval. Media and the entertainment industry use women to make money while paying them a fraction of what they make off of women’s sexuality. Religion and State mandate women’s wombs and bodies, and that says that women are objects. Women are either virgins or whores through the lens of patriarchy.. we are not whole human beings and our bodies are not our own to regulate as far as they are concerned. And so it is through the lens of other’s judgments that we are objectified… being sexy and sensual as a woman is not self objectification, rather it is being whole and healthy, natural and comfortable in your own skin.

The sad part about female internalized misogyny is that women have been brainwashed into hating their own bodies and sexuality as well as hating on other women. Through internalized misogyny we see other women blaming other women for being raped by judging them as asking for it by the way they present themselves as objects of desire, this is rape culture thinking.

To get down to the point of this post.. a beautiful and sexy woman isn’t self objectifying but rather you are projecting your internalized misogyny onto her ( if you are a woman ) or projecting your misogyny onto her ( if you are a man ) 

Misogynist believe that woman are here for men, that we exist for the male gaze and for male approval and that women don’t have a voice, a personality or a thought unless it has been given and validated by a man.

The patriarchy hates the feminine because it fears loosing power and control should the feminine rise to an equal balance with the masculine..and that is why the feminine and the feminine sex is repressed by hate speech, violence and rape..

But the world needs the feminine to rise so that all of humanity can become healthy, healed and whole.. so next time you see a woman expressing her femininity respect her because she is actually saving humanity from the brutality of the patriarchy, and in a spiritual understanding she is a Goddess, she is honoring The Divine Feminine.

Wonder Woman/ United Nations/Sexual Repression of Women

 

http://www.cbc.ca/news/entertainment/wonder-woman-un-ambassador-over-1.3893625

“Although the original creators may have intended Wonder Woman to represent a strong and independent ‘warrior’ woman with a feminist message, the reality is that the character’s current iteration is that of a large breasted, white woman of impossible proportions, scantily clad in a shimmery, thigh-baring body suit,” the petition read.

Lynda Carter the actress who played Wonder Woman is Hispanic but the fictional character or the Goddess Archetype of Wonder Woman was Greek not white for starters. The statement above is a sexually repressive statement “a large breasted, white woman of impossible proportions, scantily clad in a shimmery, thigh-baring body suit” what it insinuates is that if a woman shows her breasts and thighs she isn’t empowered and isn’t to be taken seriously..and that is sexual repression. This sexually repressive attitude towards women’s bodies and the way they dress themselves trickles down to women being shamed for breastfeeding in public or wearing the wrong thing, at the wrong time, in the wrong place with the wrong man..that lead to HER rape. The statement is stating that women who are sexual and or beautiful, women who are being sexy and or feminine are not empowered but are disempowered, therefore they cannot empower other women.

I want to make this really clear; the reason I show my femininity and or my thighs and breasts in my photography is to own my body and my sexuality on my own terms. The reason I wrote my book ( The Goddess, an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) ~ by Gracie Ackerman.. was to fly in the face of conformity and in the face of a sickened society that is sickened by the patriarchy owning women’s sexuality by repressing us or selling us on their terms. I want to make this perfectly clear * ** as long as women are sexually repressed they will never be free; by being free I mean that they will never have the same human rights and privileges as men*** a man will never be asked if he is raped or beaten ” What were you wearing? Why were you intoxicated? Why were you out so late at night with a bunch of women alone? Did you let them kiss you?” that’s what I mean by human rights and freedom. The freedom to not have the double standards thrown in our faces as a way to control our every thought.. the right not to have to think about { minimizing our risk } or minimizing the amount of cleavage or thigh we show before leaving our home.

I do believe that a woman’s super power is in being in the fullness of her womanhood; in whatever way that looks like to her, in however she defines her femininity or Inner Goddess, be she modest or free in her body. I grew up watching Lynda Carter play Wonder Woman, I have  the DVD collection right by my TV. Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman inspired me to write my book and this blog, she was a huge force in inspiring me. Wonder Woman was both the Artemis and the Venus, this is an ancient understanding or archetype in all women. She is both the virgin and the sexually experienced woman, she is the lover and the warrior. To rip women’s sexuality away from her empowerment is to render her powerless!!!!!!! This stinks of the patriarchy that condescends and controls women like sex slaves. Women become either dumbed down martyrs or whores to be treated as sexual objects to be sold for male profit. We see women being used and sold for profit by the entertainment industry, the beauty industry and by religion that is actually an untaxed business, a business that bases it’s funds on the sexual repression of women.

Feminists are not fugly. When women feel the need to dress and act like men in a corporate world to be taken seriously they have become prisoners of a society that is sickened by the imbalance caused by the repression of women. The Fugly Feminist ~ a woman who purposefully covers up her sexuality to look less attractive or feminine so that she doesn’t distract her male co-workers and so that she will be taken seriously in the conservative business world

Another example of the patriarchy owning women’s sexuality is that it tells women what body type is or isn’t sexy and expects all women to fit into these imposed norms, just recently The Province posted a story about Kim Kardashian’s more heavy set and curvy body setting a trend through Playboy towards allowing women to put on more weight. I just cannot believe a new’s paper would write and publish a story for Playboy towards telling women what men or the patriarchy wants us to look like. In reality the answer is look like who you are! For fuck sakes!!! What century is this!!!!?

Now we have Trump; a out -of -the -closet misogynist, about to step into the powerful role of running modern America! I man who bases the way a woman looks appealing to his eye as to her value in society.. but gawd forbid Wonder Woman should be a role model towards girls and women owning their own sexuality on their own terms.. gawd for bid women should own their bodies at all..as we all know that Trump thinks abortion is murder and that women should starve themselves thin in order to please him and his corporate world..

With sex shaming Wonder Woman we have sex shamed all women.. even way back in the ancient culture of Greece, the philosophers and politicians knew better..

Humanity is slipping back into the tar sands.. we are devolving as our civilization is degenerating into a mediocrity that causes us to become complacently abused.

She isn’t safe to express her sexuality because….

I was just having a conversation about women’s sexuality with my 16 yo daughter over a dinner of homemade nachos.. she came out of her room demanding to be fed just half hour before..saying ” Mom when are you going to make food?” Teenagers are strange animals. They hide in their rooms until feeding time. ;)

So as we ate we talked about ” The Game of Thrones” about how she and her 14 yo sister are not allowed to watch it because of the almost pornographic sex scenes. Then my oldest said ” We watched people actually have sex in a documentary at school mom; penises and vaginas are not pretty and romantic at all..” then I said jokingly ” It depends on who’s junk it is.” my 14 yo thought that was funny. Then my 16 yo said ” Girls don’t want or like sex as much as guys do mom.” I told her this..

Most women and girls do like sex just as much as men and most women and girls are just as visual as men. Penis size does matter to most women unless she actually does have a lower sex drive .. that does happen to some women and men equally, but most of the time women need an average size penis to be satisfied. The problem with dating or being in a relationship with a man that has a much smaller than average penis is that he will more than likely be very insure and suffer from having a complex. Complexes make people act out, or project their insecurities onto their lovers.

The difference with men and women is due to how society portrays both the sexes sexuality. Men are free to express their sexuality and by watching porn and other media they are taught and encouraged to put women into one of two categories ( Good Girl or Bad Girl ) women are also slut shamed into seeing themselves as being possibly branded by society into ( Bad Girl or Slut.. asking for it..that is disrespect ) if they should express their sexuality as freely as a man would..

For instance a woman is judged for showing too much skin..even at the beach were she is expected to wear a swim suit..but a man can walk out in public topless just about anywhere and not be stared at or glared at.. he will not be given negative body language or told to cover up. A man can freely brag about his sex life and talk openly to others about his conquest ..he is free to adventure into many sexual appetites .. while women are given the magic number of 10.. { There was a movie made about that } if a woman sleeps with more than 10 men in her lifetime she is easy and not respecting herself. A woman is judged as not being respectable by how she does or doesn’t control her sexual appetites ..and so we come to the issue of her feeling safe..

If a woman doesn’t feel safe she cannot mentally give herself permission to be sexually aroused. A women’s sexual arousal starts with feeling safe and secure around men. The problem in our society is that men are given the entitlement through being socialized by religion and media to sexually discriminate against, become sexually violent against ( Rape ) or verbally abuse women whom they deem as disrespecting themselves by how they present themselves to them..and so most women would be just as ready to have sex as most men are, if they had the same freedoms to express their sexual nature in our cultures. Of course the more extreme the culture is against women’s sexual expression and therefor freedoms or personal rights.. the more likely it is that these women themselves are sexually repressed from within due to fear.

My daughter also expressed that the girls in her school that only date girls seem to be freer in expressing their sexuality among themselves .. I told her ” It is because other women are less likely to shame their same female partners whom they are having sex with, because they are women to women; they understand the need to feel safe and nurtured to be turned on. It is also much less likely that another women will beat or rape another women due to using sex as a weapon of control. It is quite possible that, that is the reason most girls experiment with girls or even prefer girls to men.. it is because they feel safe.”

So how do we stop this from happening?

The answer is by me writing things like this; society needs to be educated. Also by women like me walking free in there sexuality.

I had someone ask me today if I do sex work because I told them my book and website are based on women’s sexuality and sacred sexuality.. but do you see how ignorant the question was? To assume that I sell my body because I write and talk openly in a mature and cultured manner about sexuality.. just shows how far the social stigmas have to go before they are broken down.

But if I was a old lady with a million PHDs.. basically not sexy .. it would be acceptable of course.. because society views women’s sexuality as too potent and hot.. too taboo..

How silly is that?

So we have made women world wide stifle their sexuality in fear and then men complain when it’s hard to get some.. oh the irony!

Infamous

The Eclipse in Pisces has been a real emotional and spiritual roller coaster ride for me.. as my spiritual guides came back to me with a force. I was reminded of my souls purpose and life path; and I was told to let go of my ego or be dragged along an ugly path by it. You see it wasn’t ever my intent to become or try to become famous by writing my book or putting up my online profile. It was my soul’s intent to deliver a spiritual message to the world for the divine, or cosmic energy. After I put up my profiles and started to self promote my book and message.. I was told by others that I was fame hungry and that I was self branding by going topless in the photography in my book, and on my website. Of course this is how worldly people would view me as they are socially brainwashed by what exists in the media towards how women’s sexuality is promoted. Need I remind my reader that society deems, that a woman who uses her body or sexuality to promote herself is judged as an attention whore or quite simply a whore..and so I was told by many over and over again that my message wasn’t spiritual in nature but selfish and pretentious.

The first dream from my guides was given to me 2 nights before the eclipse .. in the dream my Angels had me put my book ( Message ) in a bottle. I walked with them on a sea of stars as the told me to release my message in a bottle to the cosmos..and so I set it free to float down the river of stars…and then they reminded me ..they said ” The message was for you to let go of. You are an instrument of the divine, yet you will not see worldly fame for this message, the message will reach the right place at the right time.” In the dream I wept; and my tears became one with the stars..and the Angels said ” Let it go Grace, you have lived out your divine purpose by creating what will inspire the next generation of Goddesses.. let it go and let us do the work now. Go on and enjoy the rest of your time on Earth.. go and find peace.” As I began to awaken, I heard them call out to me ” We will send you a sign that you cannot deny as the truth..that will set you free.”

And so in my waking life I waited for a sign.. but they brought another dream to me.. I was with the pop star Madonna in my dream. She wasn’t dressed to be on stage; she looked relaxed like she was on vacation. She wore little make up and she was dressed in loose fitting white clothing..she said ” Grace come and sit will me, I have a message from your Angels for you.” and so I sat with her on the wicker and she played with my hair like a mother does to her daughter..and she said to me ” George Stroumboulopoulos was right Grace.. the message is for the next generation, the world is too fucked up to get it. Do you give women of power permission to promote this message? Grace will you let your ego die?.. now is the time.. the time to throw your ego’s pride onto the fire.. to ashes with it Grace.” I looked at her with tears in my eyes and I said to her ” I only want the message to make it through. I want women to be free from a culture that sexually shames us and own’s us as things for sale.. that blames us for being raped and murdered…that tells us it is our fault for being to open, loving, beautiful and vulnerable..that tells men with this, that it is their right to own our bodies and sexuality.. yes I am ready to release the message to whom ever will do it justice.” and I wept. Then she said to me ” Grace you are to pure for fame. You were never meant to be famous because the world eats people like you up. There are horrible empty souls that walk the entertainment industry that would drain you of that shine. You are like a child.” as she said so I became a child on her lap.. with a round face as she twirled my hair in her hands to make it into a twisted bun shape..and then she held up a mirror..and said ” See your soul self.” and I saw a child in pure white, with a pure round face.. and then I awoke..

And then all day I looked for the sign.. or waited for the sign.. I read my dream book..and looked up the images..and in searching for the meaning of the dream I went to Madonna’s twitter to look at images of her..and that is when I came upon this picture of her and her children..and yes this is exactly how she and I looked in the dream.. I was the child on her lap

 

I know my reader.. you may think I made this all up. That I went to her twitter and found this image and then made the story up around the image.. but I didn’t. That is the way the spirit or the divine does these things though.. it’s unexplained.. many times there isn’t any real tangible proof; yet the sign is real to me that I was spoken to directly from the other side. Carl Jung believed that souls meet in dreams to speak to one another..This eclipse took place in the North Node of my astrological star map.. Pisces is my North Node or my life path direction.. Pisces is about spiritual sacrifices made to benefit all of creation..and so it is very Christ like..to make a sacrifice with out any personal benefit to the self..

There were many other slight things that happened to me as well that were meant to drive home the message..a friend telling me she wanted ” 15 mins of fame” and my guides telling me.. ” Not everyone is meant to be famous.” and then just today another parent brought up the famous in a conversation with me..and it was deep.. the end of the conversation I knew my guides were speaking through him as some people whom I don’t know, know me because of my online work..and they will come up and tell me. I am not comfortable with fame.. I just want to listen and watch .. to hear the spirit world talk.. and let my ego die..

I like being infamous because as a spiritualist and artist I need to walk unnoticed.

The Goddess

Venus is the other side of Artemis; she is the softer side of the huntress. All of the Goddess archetypes are present in all women; but they all ad up to one Great Goddess, just as one great woman expresses her many Inner Goddesses through her daily life or at different times in her life she may express one Goddess more strongly than others. The injured Venus exists in many women today; the woman with the Inner Injured Venus is sexually inhibited by religion and the sexual repression put on women to be nice; to be good girls. Many women are sexually injured due to sexual harassment, rape and slut shaming..and so their Inner Venus is like a seed inside of them that has yet to take up root, grow and bloom.. many sexually injured women must first heal themselves by finding the root cause of the sexual injury..and then they have to give themselves tender loving care.. healing starts with self love and self acceptance.. many women have yet to embrace their own flesh and sexuality past social stigmas so that they can let their Inner Venus rise like the phoenix.. as women we need to feel and be safe to express our Divine Feminine.. so it is that we need men to rise into their Divine Masculine and protect and honor; respect and uphold the Inner Venus in each woman so that she may rise into her Divinity..and with that he rises also.. because the archetype of Venus is so buried and shamed in modern day patriarchial society.. the world has become a brutal, ugly and cold place.. we need her; her love and beauty to bring us to grace.

From the book ~ The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine~ Available on Amazon.ca

Venus

 

Goddess of love and beauty; she represents the feminine charm and emotions.  Venus is the queen of seduction; with the magic of her charms she turns animal lust into romance and love. She takes a man’s heart with her innocence and sensuality. To the cold hard world she brings softness and tenderness.

 

She is the Goddess that rings in the spring; she represents fertility and joy; the joy that only love can bring. She is born from the foam of the sea; this shows that she is deep with emotion and quite unfathomable to the male understanding. She is an emotional mystery.

 

Venus is proud and dignified; the Golden Goddess as she shines with her attractiveness; charming men so intensely it is as if they have been filled with venom; filled with a sweet seductive poison. The poison of her charms arouses men, causing them to be won over in spite of themselves. This is the man struck with love; like the love of Cupid’s arrows, struck so hard he walks in circles, this is what sweet Venus does to him.

 

She causes men to become aroused with one look or just one sound; the smell of her perfume drives him wild and with one gentle touch he is brought down.  Venus needs him to worship her; she needs him to swoon at her touch; she loves his love and his lust.

 

She seeks a man that is her direct opposite; as she is soft she needs a man that is a strong masculine man; to her, his masculinity makes her feel even more feminine and desired; she loves to watch him make love to her. Venus loves to temper his lust; as she fills life with her beautiful touch. She loves beauty so much that she surrounds her world and his with art; music and good food. Venus thrives in the differences of the sexes.

 

As a woman she has a very open heart and a gentle touch; she loves sex so much. She loves to play it up, to build the momentum throughout the day; teasing him and pleasing him and herself. She sets the scene for love. She lives for love and loves to live; Venus is in love with love.

Make Love to Me

 

Take me with one look, across the room, I see you

 

My heart speeds up, my breath quickens, my knees feel weak, my blood peaks

 

Make love to me

 

Kiss me, softly, firmly, hotly

 

Make love to me

 

Throw me down, crush me with your body, I taste you and you taste me, I smell your scent all over me

 

Make love to me

 

Penetrate and thrust, beg me not to stop, pull my hair, and roll around everywhere

 

Make love to me

 

I want to hear you scream, I want here your release, I want to know I please, when you please me too

 

Make love to me

FLESH

 

Sweet and tender flesh

How I love the feel of a soft caress

To watch the candle light dance

To taste the finest wine

The flesh it is divine

 

My soft round breast

I hold my babe close

I nurture life from my own

Little one drink from me

From my soul

 

My breast they hold you

I hold my lover within them

I hold his head so gently

Within the warmth of me

Lovingly I expose my vulnerability

 

My supple body brings forth life

I feel it take up inside

The quickening of tiny feet

I feel the fluttering deep in me

Nothing more could feel so right

 

I love the sunlight on my skin

The green grass beneath my bare feet

The wind it touches me

The sweetness of abundance nourishes me

All is right

 

Velvet skin holds my soul in

Satin hair crowns my head

My delicateness is wonderful

My existence is bliss

Oh how I love my skin.

BEAUTY

 

The beauty of a woman’s nature is in her strength,

 

It is in her way to fight the good and true fight,

 

It is in her way to listen to her heart.

 

To quiet the suffering soul,

 

It is in her nature to nurture and put love first,

 

This is the beauty of a woman’s soul.

 

She makes the brutal world a beautiful place

 

She makes beauty from her grace,

 

She is the tree that bends in the winds of change

 

She is soft strength, she doesn’t break,

 

Somehow she finds a way to make it all ok,

 

She is the soft and tender heart,

 

She is the place to rest your weary head,

 

She brings you sweet love from nothingness

 

All of this lives within her heart,

 

A heart so boundless and abundant that she makes love from hopelessness,

 

She is a Goddess

 

She is in your dreams and in your wakefulness

 

She is the reason you exist

 

She brings her heart to you wide open

 

And it is her body that you crave

 

It is her soft sweet skin and the smell of her silky hair that you can’t resist

 

To not have her is to have nothing at all but emptiness

 

She is the one to come to when you need to cry

 

She will meet you with arms wide,

 

She is all that is wonderful to you,

 

To not have her is to have ugliness

 

To not have her is not to have a reason for life

 

To not have her is to have the world cold and hard,

 

She is the softness,

 

She is the tenderness,

 

She is the sweetness,

 

Her sensuality,

 

Beauty.


Why women love Marilyn Monroe

Me doing my best Marilyn Monroe with my iPhone

 

We love Marilyn Monroe because she was a living representation of The Goddess Venus Archetype.. in plain English she embodies femininity and beauty for all women.. regardless of race. (  I have seen many African American women..and women of all races pose as Marilyn.. not all with blond hair or blue eyes either ) She represents the feminine art of being a woman.. she said  ” Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.”

 

Marilyn wanted what every woman wants.. every woman who is in touch with her Inner Goddess or Erotic Creature.. and that is to simply be succulent and sensual in her womanhood.. without being labeled as a slut or whore.. without being repressed are called down..without her dignity being stripped away from her by society or a male based culture using her sexuality against her.. using her very basic nature or essence against her..

Every woman in touch with her sexuality and sensuality wishes to just be in the fullness of the femininity..and that is why we love Marilyn.. she was our Goddess living in the flesh.

But how sad it is that the world that loved her also loved to hate her.. they called her a victim..and many people still label her as a victim.. for being soft and sensual.. feeling and sweet.. as the world wants the vulnerability that she expressed in her femininity but then a male run society sees it’s as a weakness… because with too much masculinity in our culture we are unbalanced and turn to brutality..and so the world or Hollywood was brutal to her..as were the men in her life.. during her lifetime she couldn’t find any lasting love..for being an open, fragile rose.. the absolute reflection of the heart of compassion.. yet we crushed her and used her..and we still do .. love to hate her..because generally speaking women’s sexuality is viewed through this lens of brutality.. and women who express their sexuality are repressed and emotionally abused and or physically abused .. in worst cases; that happen all to often.. we can take domestic abuse as a prime example of the abuse of the feminine energy in our world..

And so what women long for the most.. is to express our Inner Venus or Marilyn while being protected and honored by our men rather than taken advantage of and abused by them..

Women want to express their Inner Courtesan to their one special man.. to role play as his mistress.. his seductress.. to flirt.. to flaunt.. to own it for him and for themselves..

Imagine how much beauty there would be in the world if women could freely express their Inner Goddesses.. if the Feminine Arts were given room to blossom and bloom.. Imagine a world were sex was an art.

And so that is why we love her and miss her.. She was a dream

I have been treated exactly the way she was treated for expressing and living her own sexuality by my local community.. because of expressing it in my book ..

http://bookstore.balboapress.com/Products/SKU-000576933/The-Goddess-an-Expression-of-the-Divine-Feminine.aspx

Proving the stereotype lives.. I am not a victim..but there are victimizers that have tried to make me into their victim..I have had no protection from anyone standing up for me or doing the right thing.. it is a direct refection as to how the world treats The Divine Feminine in every woman..and in Mother Nature.

 

The Feminine Feminist

 

I want to get straight to the point of this post.. to generalize old school feminists seem to think they have to cover up or tone down their sexuality to be taken seriously in the world as feminists. The people they are attempting to please with covering up or dumbing down their sexuality are men. So it is easy to conclude that by doing so they own you ( The Patriarchy ) by your very basic nature… to connect the dots further, it’s my conclusion that this further dis-empowers women and that is why feminism hasn’t gained anymore ground since the 1970s.. If women feel that they have to wear no make-up; wear frumpy clothes, or just be frumpy in general… not talk openly and honestly or even scientifically about their sexuality … well they have washed out their own empowerment.. by being twice as educated as men to be taken seriously by men .. trying to look or blend in with men. trying to discourage sexual advances in their professional or personal lives.. is to say they are in essence responsible for any sexual harassment or sexual discrimination should they shed the sexual shame or repression and step fully into their own bodies.. they are owned by their sexuality just as much as Mother Teresa was owned and labeled saintly by the Patriarchy for staying within the sexual repression or stigmas.. they are owned by the media or social Patriarchy just as much as Marilyn Monroe was owned and made into a sex symbol or ( thing ) by Hollywood Patriarchy..

Everything needs a revision.. including feminism. Upon reading comments posted under a article about Free The Nipple… a movement posed by the next generation of Feminist.. about women being just as free in their bodies as men are in public places.. I read from older women claiming to be feminist; how slutty these young women were.. wanting to have the same sexual freedoms as men… older feminist indoctrinated into their own sexual shaming. slut shaming young women because they ultimately see them as a sexual threat..and they are projecting their own fears of being socially shunned or taken seriously by men. ..onto the next generation of feminists. The young women wanting to show their nipples in the same public places as men show theirs..were not shameful.. it is the sexual repressive attitudes of older feminist in their 60s and up.. it’s a shame that they cannot see were their generation went wrong.. were they cannot see were they gave into their own sexual repression and it is the freeing of their own sexuality that will truly empower them… whatever level their sexuality many or may not be..if they be more masculine or feminine within themselves.. no one has a right to sexually repress others into attempting to place them within a mold of conformity for their own comfort.

I know not every woman is comfortable going topless in public places were men go topless.and it’s their right to do as they please.. if women believe that to go topless at the beach they have to have perfect young bodies..think again..just take your examples from men.. trust me they go shirtless at all fitness levels..ages and body types.. men don’t give a shit and neither should we..if we want to be free in our sexuality..well then fuck the unequal beauty standards placed on women.. it’s up to us to stand our ground in our own skin..

I have had many men tell me I am too feminine to be a feminist… I hope that the next generation changes that.. men and women are both feminist if they believe in equal rights and opportunities for both men and women.. the feminist stereotypes need to be smashed..freedom doesn’t live in a box.

SEX

 

I am really mad at myself.. because I fell into a mental and emotional trap .. the trap of slut shaming. When I first put up my website and published my book a couple of years ago.. well I was a freer spirit. It was like the fools leap, child’s play, art with absolute abandon.. much like I am in the bedroom, playful, passionate, affectionate and very physical. I am an intellectual, I am experimental and very open minded.. but silly little me I didn’t take into account how many people in my local community are exactly the opposite of me; and I hadn’t really socialized with anyone in my local professional community to know what a bunch of fake and repressed bunch they all are.. and so once I attempted to network within that community I was quickly give a BAD REP.. like they didn’t even know me personally but because I was topless on my blog and because I was talking candidly and openly about sexuality.. I was instant white trash, laughable slut material to them.. to make a long story short it all rubbed off on me.. like invisible blood spatter.. pretty soon I was emotionally, mentally and spiritually downing in this shame.. that wasn’t even mine.. and it began to sink in subconsciously .. after a sexual encounter with a local popular and wealthy business man..who afterwards sexually shamed me by telling me he couldn’t socialize with me but only have sex with me privately… I plunged into celibacy.. like it was over 2 years of being closed off physically and emotionally to men because of him..and the business community. And so I told myself, I was protecting my heart, and I was, but I was also making excuses for not facing my fears.. and my fear was them.. whoever they are.. there are so many of them.. putting their religious and flaky spiritual beliefs into my head and onto my body.. saying to me sex has to be within this or that context or you are nothing more than a slut.. like an animal to be dehumanized by us..and they did just that. And I suppose I must have believed them.. as I purified my blog, taking topless pictures of myself down, deleting blog post, and being sexless myself. It wasn’t me .. that isn’t me. I am not that person; they are, they feared me and so they imposed those fears onto me..becoming my jailers.. that is what happened..and I wasn’t strong enough to stand up until now.

A young man kissed me.. or I kissed him.. and he awakened me.. I was frozen so, cold .. I was deadened.. after he kissed me I verbally said ” Thank you” it was like my subconscious said it.. ” Thank you, thank you for freeing me, thank you for igniting my fire… thank you ”

And I came to realize that sex is pro choice.. that it is my body, it is my sexuality, even when I am sharing my body with another, it is mine. No one has a right to tell me my sexuality or me having sex with anyone else is bad.. even if I write about my sexual experiences in great detail,, if they don’t like it they can fucking move on, they can fuck off. How is it hurting them? Oh they think they can judge me or others as demoralizing society by owning my own body? Wtf? So they think they own the rights to my sexuality? They think that I have to wait for love and marriage or I am whore? Fuckem! I am a beautiful sexual woman, I am not going to stay in a frozen purified state, and shrivel up and die waiting for the right guy to come along.. and what is the right guy? And how the fuck does love start to begin with..but with a healthy dose of LUST..and who says I cannot just want lust for awhile..who says? Prudes that’s who says, people afraid of being free themselves who wish they were as free as I am .. or people with little to no sex drive who wish they has my appeal and stamina.. well that’s their fucking problem isn’t it.. ya it is!

It doesn’t make me shallow, or selfish to want to explore my sexuality with a younger man ( be a cougar ) can if I want to! And when I meet someone I want to be in a long term relationship regardless of his age…can if I want to.

And I know this for sure.. if I was a old lady out of her sexual prime… that had Dr.. in front of my name ( clinical and sterile ) no one in Canada would have an issue with me being about sexuality .. but because I am hot and sexy I am a threat to society.. that is fucking stupid..and I am not going to allow society to sexually sterilize me again.. I will do what I want with my sex, and with walking my talk I can more effectively teach sexual freedom.. cause I am free now.

Grace is hard to find

 

It is interesting.. I say it is interesting because my mind works that way. Somehow I am able to rise above emotions and see things just in patterns or circumstance..so it is interesting that people have labeled me a victim due to my book and website that are about the freedom of women’s sexuality and about creating women’s equality through their sexual freedom.. it’s interesting because this is what makes all women victims of society and because I spoke out about it, I am about it; the victimizations have been placed on to me.. interesting yes?

I have been shunned by the professional community, I have been labeled as ” inappropriate ” for speaking out about those who sexually harassed me, who spread rumors about me, have outright told me not to show up at professional events, or who have ignored my request to join organizations or who have outright denied me the same rights as others, or equalities because I dared to show them what was unequal. I brought to their attention ( Rape culture thinking and attitudes ) to have them, then express them to me.. and then upon speaking out about these people and the inhuman things that they did to me I was then labeled as enraged, crazy, vengeful and revenging.. when simply I was pointing out the facts of the situations and behaviors. Interesting how blind people are to patterns and behaviors.. how blind we become to thinking something highly dysfunctional as normal and rational.. then calling the person who is being rational .. crazy.. but isn’t this the ” Crazy making behavior ” that is placed on to women by emotionally controlling and abusive men? To answer the question.. yes it is.. it is even a relevant term. It’s enough to drive a person crazy.

But it is a cruel and unforgiving world for most women who exist and express themselves outside of social norms and nice-ities .. niceness is treasured regarding women. Without male approval the world becomes a dangerous place and love and acceptance are held back from the woman who steps out of line; who miss behaves past the lens of male approval.. and so it is she becomes a victim by straying past her allotted boundaries .. how dare she. But isn’t that much like an abusive relationship? To answer the question.. yes it is. Because a man must control his woman by societies standards to be a real man ( bully ) because society bullies women, abuses women, we are not safe without male protection but then society makes sure we are not safe from him.. because he has more rights than she does..and so Grace is hard to find..

Love is hard to find if it doesn’t include equality..than and even then..is there love without equality?. How civilized are we that men do not truly protect women but instead use their physical strength as a brute force measure to keep women world wide in line? ” You have come along way baby.” is a farce.. women’s rights a joke.. smoke and mirrors as we are not truly free. Every woman; should she be like me is one small step away from victim blaming, slut shaming and rape culture thinking..that is ” your asking for sexual harassment, your asking for rape and at the least disrespect..”‘ because your skirt was to short, your make up to dark, you were out to late at night, you were having sex outside of marriage, you were raped on your date or beaten because you asked for it… ”

So the interesting thing is to look at my book and website, the photography the entire creation of expressing a woman’s sexuality; using myself as the control group..and you can see by the way I have been treated.. how I cannot be successful with this creation due to a male power based social system that will not allow it..because I am asking for it..for disrespect, to not be taken seriously..and then I am victim shamed for the victimiztions placed on women’s sexuality as an over all..

And so love is hard to find, as vulnerability and a soft heart are not protected by the male side of the human species .. but instead fed upon by inflated egos, lack of emotional intelligence and overall immaturity and ignorance.. yes Grace is hard to find

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