Posts Tagged ‘single motherhood’

A Single Mother’s Guide To Empowerment

 

There are many women online and in the world of media that profess to be about women’s empowerment or to be life coaches; there are women with PHDs and other certifications whom have their blogs and books professionally editited, and so you may think them to be more qualified than me towards giving you advice and leadership. My qualifications are life skills built upon real life experiences. The person whom you should want to lead you or to give you qualified advice is the person or woman that is walking her talk. I am not overtly wealthy, I am not entitled as I have not and was not born to a life of privilege. I come from a very poor family and my father was very abusive and sexist. My mother committed suicide when I was 13 due to her mental illness and I put myself into the Canadian fostercare system in my teens. I ended up living on my own when I was 17 to then put myself through college with student loans. Due to my abusive upbringing I ended up in a seven year relationship with a physically abusive alcholic. I left him to finish my education in business college to then meet and marry my now ex husband who was emotionally and financially abusive. I have no extended family, and so have had to carry the responsiblity of being a single mother of three on my own. I went onto become a published author of the book { The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine } and to create my own blog and website www.sexassacred.com

I have been through intense stuggles and trials in my life. I have been physically and sexually abused. I have been plunged into suicial thoughts. I have risen again and again from great hoplessness towards achieving many goals and dreams. My greatest of all dreams having yet to be realized; is to be given a world wide voice towards women’s rights, equality and empowerment. Upon writing my book about women’s sexual empowerment I have had to to stand against much sexual discrimination by shining a light on the sexual shame placed upon women by society. I still continue to fight this daily with all women who wish to stand against it and push back against conformity and sexual repression.

I have primary guardianship of my children and so that means they are in my care 90 percent of the time; so I am a full time single mother who is in the trenches of parenthood and womanhood with you.

I am writing this in point form because I am a busy mom and I like to be able to skim information when my time is limited.

 

 

1. Find your strength in forgiveness

Working on forgiveness and forgiving is the key towards finding innner peace and balance. My key to forgiving my ex husband was understanding his own father wound as to why he was unable to stay with us as a family unit, and as to why he had an affair when he found out I was having a boy with our third child. It was because he saw his son in himself and his wound that he didn’t want to face in his son. Understanding that no one is perfect and that we are all wounded helps to heal wounds into scars.  Many people will hurt us because they are hurt and not conscious enough to be able to heal themselves so they hurt others. Understanding will bring you to forgiveness and forgiviness will being you to inner balance. Balance is the key to strength.

2. Be responsible and take responsibility

When we are honest with ourself and make a point of becoming conscious towards our own weaknesses we can make them into our strengths or at least strengthen our weaknesses. Take responsiblity as to your part in the marriage or relationship ending. For example; I didn’t draw proper boundaries at the begining of my marriage and so I allowed him to disrespect me and allowed my independance to be taken from me as I gave it away.

3. Budget 

Part of taking responsibility is to take responsiblity for your money and spending habits. Write down your bottom line and then subtract your bills and abstract spending, make a budget from there. Write down daily what you have spent and on what to keep yourself honest. A part of being empowered is to take control of your money and be honest with yourself if you have a spending problem. If you are going into a negative in your budget it is time to make plans towards cutting out what isn’t needed and or finding a practical way towards generating more income.

4. Set Goals and be proactive

You can set all the goals you like but you must be proactive by doing the work and taking the actions towards acheiving your goals. My motivation is knowing that I have had my three children to set an example for. Here are a few of the goals that I have achieved over the span of several years.

Fitness

buy a new car

write a book or blog

make new friends

charity work

body building competition

Setting and achieving goals are very important towards self empowerment and building self confidence, when you are finished achieving a goal it’s important to celebrate that goal but then to keep moving forward towards future goals. There is great satisfaction in a job well done!

5. Self care

I want all single moms to drop the guilt here; It is important that you meet the needs of your children but it is also inportant that your needs are met too. If your cup is empty than you have nothing to give your children. It is important that you allow yourself rest. It is important that you all eat healthy and that you workout five times a week. Take care of your appearance; your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being is your empowerment. Budget your time for me time.

6. Life isn’t fair

Life isn’t a fairytale. Many Goddess empowerment life coaches will try to sell you on meeting the man of your dreams and being able to create some fanastic other reality just by paying them for endless life coaching sessions; and that is wrong and will make you feel hopeless in the long run over empowered. Shit happens in real life and for the most part we are not manifesting this reality on our own. We share this earthly reality with billions of other souls in different levels of consciousness and so we are bound to run into some shit realities. The justice system is sexist and the world is full of bigotry and some real wack jobs; so we have to learn to work around it. We have to learn to make the best of what we can control and to accept what we cannot contol. That doesn’t mean we become complacent, just that we are able to choose what is worth putting our energy towards. When you hit a wall sometimes it’s best to go into a different direction of your own.

7. Feeling sad or suicidal

Most women’s sadness comes from unvented anger because we live in societies that don’t allow women to be angry; just like most men’s anger comes from held in sorrow because we live in societies that don’t allow men sorrow but only anger as an emotion; Therefore it is important to vent out our emotions to help us not give into to suicidal thoughts or actions. So please be angry and vent your anger out in a non destructive fashion such as a hard workout or screaming and crying into a pillow. Get help if you need help. Call the crisis line if you need help right away. I got help when I needed help. It takes great strength to ask for help when we are at our most vulnerable. Let no one shame you into being strong enough to ask for help. I have helped suicidal and vulnerable friends; and I have been there myself. The greatest courage is saving yourself. Remember this too shall pass

8. Have FAITH

Having a belief system or a practice that brings us to faith and hope when all feels lost brings us back to an empowered state. You can be an athiest and still find hope and faith in meditaion or nature walks. If religion or a belief is God gives you true empowerment than that is your private and personal walk in faith. My personal walk of faith is a spiritual, non religious, non dogmatic spirituality that is based in nature. Do what brings you hope, love and peace.

9. Gratitude

Comparison is the theif of joy ~ Theodore Roosevelt

Society and or the media is constantly wanting us to compare ourselves to others so we are motivated into buying products for other’s validation; from learning to be happy with what you have. Count your blessings when you feel like the world has short changed you. Most of us single mothers feel that way from time to time. Being a single mother is often a struggle and a financial jugglimg act; but when we learn to stop and smell the roses it can turn bitterness sweet. Count those little fingers and toes, be thankful for your health, for your talents and natual gifts, for your friends and community. Happiness is an inside job.

10. Be authentic

Be yourself. The most powerful thing you can be is your true self. Be prepaired to cut even the closest people out of your life if they don’t accept you for you. Speak to be heard and speak with your own voice. Remember you teach people how to treat you. Set boundaries down. Always maintain your DIGNITY

11. Romance

Don’t let people shame you as a single mother for wanting a new relationship and remember if you are not honest and clear with yourself you will not get what you want. It is ok to want romance in your life, of course it is! You can love your children and a new romantic partner. But being alone and getting to know yourself and taking the time to heal from your last relationship is critical towards your own empowerment. Empowerment is knowing yourself. Knowing yourself and becoming conscious of our own shadows, wounds and weaknesses means that we will be empowered and healed towards being ready for a new and healthy intimate relationship. Until you have worked on strengthening youself from the inside out you will not be ready for a lasting and healthy love. Time takes time and this takes time. A truly empowered woman doesn’t look for a man to hide herself behind, she goes into herself towards self transformation to become as a walking GODDESS 

A GODDESS IS AN EMPOWERED WOMAN

You can find my book { The Goddess and Expression of the Divine Feminine } by Gracie Ackerman on Amazon,ca

No Momma’s Boys

 

The typical Momma’s Boy is raised by a single mother ( I am a single mother; my son is 8 ) so I have to be very careful not to raise my son to be emotionally dependent on me. That’s the problem with this guy; his emotional house is filled by his unhealthy emotional dependency on his mother.

The Momma’s Boy has a boyish charm about him; he seems to love women and he has insider information about women because his mother didn’t set healthy emotional boundaries about her own internal emotional life.. she put her son in the emotional position that she would of a lover. It’s sad but true for both of them; that neither of them will have healthy relationships with the opposite sex unless they become awakened towards their unhealthy patterns of emotional dependency… When the son finds a mate; the relationship ends up being another flash in the pan.. it quickly dies because his girlfriend cannot make a deep intimate connection with him..because his mother has taken up that place in his heart.. but the same goes for the mother.. she is too involved emotionally in her son’s life..so when she finds a man; when he attempts to set the boundaries; she sees him as a threat to her son and so the relationship ends quickly.. sometimes with great negative intensity.

I was in a relationship with a Momma’s Boy when I was 18; he was 22.. his mother would say things like ” Does she have to know what we are talking about?” ” Why is she always here?”.. she would come to his house and clean..do his laundry.. fold it.. bring him his favorite food.. etc.. etc.. but she herself couldn’t hold onto a relationship with a grown man..as they got sick of her meddling shit. Over time he did detach somewhat from his mother..but his dependency of his mother soon moved him to his dependency on the bottle.. I watched him drink beer like he was sucking on a breast.. I left him..

How do you know he is a Momma’s Boy before you get too emotionally attached to him?

He usually hasn’t had any long term relationships.. a 2 year relationship is a long term relationship for him

He lives in his glory days.. he is always talking about when he was kid; what his momma taught him

His mom is always cleaning his house and cooking for him

He needs his mother’s advice all the time

His ex girlfriends warn you

He has secret ex girlfriends because he didn’t want his mother to know about the BAD girls

He is selfish, self absorbed and egotistical ( a little brat )

Is so irresponsible emotionally he can’t even take care of pet on his own

Doesn’t want to be a father because he likes his SON or boyishness status

He is in his 30 and 40s and still dresses like teenager and acts like one.. he is so cool ya know!

He is so hip and cool all the time.. even in his online communications..it’s all hip slang

 

What can you do about it? Nothing.. nope just move on..go and find yourself a gown ass man!

Momma has ruined her boy.. he will be in his 60s and she in her 80s.. and she will be at the grocery store buying his favorite jam..because he likes Smuckers ya know!

Mother’s Day & The Single Mom Struggle

 

I used this image of myself because one of the first things I faced becoming a single mom.. by my exes midlife crisis choices ( that I obviously couldn’t control, nor am I responsible for ) well one of the first things I faced was family members, old friends and even society expecting me, to divorce my own sexuality away from my motherhood.. just like we divorced away the marriage .. [ I like how marriage sounds like mirage ] because it wasn’t real to him. But back to divorcing away my own sexuality. I think it’s because people view sexy mom’s as loose welfare bums; it’s a stigma. Many married women have said to me ” OMG if my ex died, left me or had an affair I wouldn’t ever date again, I wouldn’t ever have sex again. I couldn’t do that to my kids and I just couldn’t imagine dating again or having sex with anyone else.” Mind you I felt that way at first too; the first year I grieved hard, the second year I became curious and by the third year I was really horny. Nature is what nature is; and time may not heal intense heartache but it sure helps. Now when I hear women say that to me I could just scream. They don’t know what they don’t know.. and I find it to be an insensitive selfish statement..almost.. a ” Look at me I am married, I am having sex { it might not be great sex; stats show it’s not..but it’s not the nothing I am getting or the guilt trips I get for wanting it } and I have a man to fix the car, put lotion on my back and go on date nights with.” well fuck you too!

One of the most difficult things about being a sexy single mom.. is being seen as a perceived threat as a potential husband thief. I really hate that! My ex cheated on me, so why would I want to be with a cheater; and it’s not a complement it’s an insult. It’s saying I have no morals or ethics.. then I think ” Why did you marry him then?” and ” Stop putting your fucking marital problems onto me I have enough fucking problems of my own.”

I also think that I scare married women because they fear they could just as easily be me.. and they could. It’s a more intense struggle for me vs some single moms that have their parents and other family members to help them. I don’t have that luxury; I have to save every penny; I have to keep a little extra for emergencies. When my car breaks down I don’t have parents to call and help me. I think my situation scares the shit out of many married women. I think that is why they blame me for my predicament.. it gives them a sense of control; if they can exclude fate or the fact that they cannot control what their husbands may or many not do to them it makes them feel better. So it’s easy to resent single mothers; when you are a married woman fearing the same fate.

My fault was that I couldn’t turn myself into the imaginary perfect bitch my ex had in his head. I failed miserably at behaving myself; I talked back and gave him shit when he treated me like shit. I guess I wasn’t submissive enough. I am too much of a rebel, I am too smart, I am too energetic , I think for myself..and I just didn’t worship him like the god he thought himself to be.. yup it was totally my fault!

This single mom gig.. it’s tough. I do break down in tears from loneliness. I cannot have some jerk around my kids; or me for that matter. I cannot allow myself to be depleted by some arrogant know-it-all again. Casual sex is just heartbreaking; so it’s complicated. My body longs to be touched lovingly and I long for rough sex too.. it’s horrible sometimes..it’s torture sometimes. It’s very sad.

I wish I had someone to take care of me once-in-awhile ..and I wish I had someone to take care of..some times the longing feels like it will kill me. It’s been over 6 years now; I never thought it would be this long; I have had many guys interested in me; but there isn’t that spark ( I don’t want to make the same mistake I made last time, I don’t trust myself )

My ex is such a dick that he schedules all his weekends without consulting me; even though he was ordered to in court; but going back to court is horrible. There are so many sexist, dick head judges that talk to single moms as if we are criminals..anyway the ex scheduled his weekend to be with the kids on Mother’s Day again.. for the 6th year in a row. I told him I am keeping the kids. Now he has told me it might be weeks till he sees them again { because he thinks he can punish me by disobeying his mighty orders.. see I just cannot obey } But as a single mom; I am making us breakfast tomorrow. We are going to have ham, pancakes and scrambled eggs.. then we are going to be ultra lazy until noon..then go out and play in the sun..

I hope the car starts Monday :) Monday..back to the mechanics.. fuck

The Single Mom Struggle

 

My rose colored glasses have fallen off my face once again. When you’r a single mom and an artist you don’t get to stay in the rosy glow long enough. So what happened today? Were do I start..?

I have this fucking car.. it has some fucking problems that I cannot seem to get a permanent fix for.. electrical problems that they cannot seem to nail down. This is what happens to the fucking car. The throttle starts to drop from highs to lows.. up and down ..and then I know something shitty is starting to happen.. then the wipers come on by themselves when I start the car, then the radio changes stations,, then it turns off an on by it’s self when I start the fucking car.. then a few days later a bulb that I have just had replaced again! ,,it fucking burns out.. then I know for sure the car is about to go through an electrical shit storm..so I take it in.. they hook up to the computer.. nothing.. just something reading on the throttle.. but I am told the electrical crackling sounds I am hearing from the steering wheel are just cracked plastics rubbing together when I turn the wheel.. so I am like ” OK” leave.. drive the fucking car around for a few weeks.. then the back light burns out that I just had replaced.. then it starts making the weird clicking sounds and the front lights flicker even though they are turned off.. So I am like ” Fucking car.” Then it did it today.. ( electrical shit storm from hell ) lucky for me my kids were with the ex still.. and I had just driven into town from being up in the mountains hiking.. cause the throttle went fucking nuts.. turned right up.. the lights were flashing and the dash was clicking and the steering wheel was crackling like a fucking gawd damn nightmare.. meanwhile I am trying to calmly pull into the grocery store parking lot.. while trying not to panic and have a fucking heart attack .. did that.. got the car in a fucking stall.. didn’t run anyone over with the throttle thrusting the car forward.. parked the fucking car.. left it in park but still running to get out to look at the lights flashing like a son-of-a-bitch.. so I went to the dash and turned the fucking head lights all the way on.. it stopped clicking for a few seconds..then it fucking died.. yup.. just fucking died,, the car had a fucking heart attack… fuck!

FUCK FUCK FUCK!

So I went into the grocery store.. did the shopping.. sucked up my panic and tears.. didn’t cry.. got it done.. called a cab.. told one of my mom friends as I took the groceries out of the cab.. ” My car broke down again” paid the cabby and then went inside and cried and screamed..and cried and screamed and cried and cried and cried.. because I am so fucking mad and because it makes me feel so vulnerable because I don’t have family to help me and because I saved up some fucking money.. and now I have to spend the fucking money on what is or was suppose to be fixed the last 4x I took the fucking car into have them fix the fucking car.. FUCKING CAR!

On top of all that.. my ex wouldn’t keep the kids an extra day..even though he has the day off.. just to be a prick.. and he sent our son home from his house for the 3rd time with living lice in his hair.. each time I clean him up he comes home with living lice in his hair..and each time my ex doesn’t tell me he has it..but my 7 year old son brings it up over dinner.. all innocent to his dad’s conniving bullshit.. seems he likes the thought of sending his son to his ex wife infected with lice.. cause it’s funny to make me suffer..and it doesn’t seem to matter to him that he is making his little boy suffer to make his mother suffer.. so as you can imagine this time my text messages were not polite at all.. nope.. the went like this ” What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you fucking crazy? Are you fucking insane? You don’t deserve your kids asshole.” now that is some hard cold single mom reality..

Then the memory of when I bought the fucking car.. you see he set out some dumb ass stipulation in the settlement of the assents that if I didn’t purchase a car with in the week of him giving me a part of the monies from the sale of the marital home that he wouldn’t give me the other monies from the other assets.. so I rushed out to buy the fucking car..not having a male friend or relative with me to help me get past the sleazy used car sales men that will sell a single mom a lemon with no remorse what so ever.. and that is the shit that happened..and so the anger in me burned to a rising crescendo.. so intense I thought I was going to blast off!

Thank gawd for other single mom friends..and single dad friends that helped to talk me off the ceiling .. cause holy fuck!

The prevailing thought had by us all..” We need a good drunk!”

I don’t drink often but when I do.. it’s because of.. the single mom struggle.

Fucking CAR!

Being a sexy mom

 

So I have this hater.. her name is Marlie LaMusick@OverAndAround on twitter.. she comments on my Youtube videos.. currently she is hitting all the unlikes that she can. But her thing is this.. because I am a mother expressing my sexuality.. Through the goddess movement.. my book, this website and blog, photography in the book and online..and through my erotic dancing and talks on Youtube..she thinks I am an unfit mother ..she commented on twitter and under my vids that my kids should be taken away from me by social services.. Yes she is a bitch. Yes a mean spirited, jealous prejudiced..slut shaming bitch. An old bitty!

But she is just one of many conservative fundamentalistic jerks that thinks this way.. steeped in religious dogma that teaches us that a woman’s virtue or the worlds virtue for that matter lives between our legs ladies..so that means you don’t own your own vagina ..society does by slut shamming you into submission..

Question for the old bitch… ” Where do you think babies come from?” That’s right vaginas.. another Question to the old lady that is ancient in her thinking.. quite barbaric actually.. ” Do you think my kids don’t know their mother has a vagina?” Another Question for the old bat ” Do you think that my daughters don’t know they have vaginas and that they came out of my vagina?”

She is so crazy..this thinking is so insane..it is so so so so so insane!

To think that once a woman becomes a mother she should button up and go all Mother Teresa? Seriously? That is everything that is wrong with her I am sure of it..has to be.

For me to nun-up you would have to put me in a coffin first..cause that will be the day I die.. I plan on being so sexy.. I leave behind a sexy corpse.. that’s right bite me nasty bitch.

You want your grand daughters to grow up in a world were they are sexually repressed and then blamed for their own rapes..for dressing just a little too sexy ( dressing too sexy or being too sexy is completely subjective to the observer btw dumbass) I mean a woman can look at a man the wrong way or say something in a subjectively sexy tone and be raped for asking for it.. think about it! WTF is wrong with you?

Stupid Stupid Stupid old bitty.. OMG.. it’s a good thing you dinos are on the way out.. extinction is much need here.. you got to go.. if you cannot evolve to better society and the world for the next up coming generations..just die please..do them a favor.. really! You want young men.. your grand sons to not be able to have real intimacy with a woman because they feel entitled to abusing her sexually because of the double standards imposed onto them and taught to them by social fucking norms that are anything but normal.. ya cause society teaches young men through media ( porn ) and just through the mainstream media feed of the objectification of women and GIRLS sexuality that women are OBJECTS..to be used and discarded at his will.. so because of that.. no real love or intimacy.. I wonder if she is grasping this.. prob not.. soooo time to meet The Grim Reaper.. we are done with your kind..so the sooner the better.. like you said yourself you nasty bitch ” No Mercy for her” ya karma takes a bite right? That’s what she thinks as a woman about another woman who is the single mother of three children..that because I express my sexuality ( I OWN IT BABY ) I deserve to hated/punished/shunned/shamed/ harassed/bashed/ and basically treated with all cruelty.. or quite frankly as less than a human being..that’s right I should be..or other women like me..should be dehumanized.. because we are trash.

That is everything that is wrong with the norms ( insanity of society ) it’s fucking crazy..and ya know what..this shit keeps up there will never be women’s equality.. not only with The Feminine Heart in society will be denied and killed off..but so will masculinity..because men cannot be real men if they are not protecting women..if they are raping/murdering/demoralizing/ abusing women in anyway..they are doing exactly the opposite of what real men do.. real men.. love, respect and protect women.. not just the women in their circle but all women.. that’s why we have the whole LUMBER SEXUAL thing going on because men wish for the hero in them to rise up..they miss their masculine romance.. they wish to be the man who has that heart connection with a woman or women.. with shaming the female sex.. the male sex is has also lost it’s balance..and we miss out on love and courtship..by suppressing the beauty of feminine sexuality..

Our children need us to express the fullness of who we are so that they can also have that to role model after..

I am sure my stalker.. hater didn’t understand I word I just wrote..but I know I  am helping who I am meant to help.. like other moms..and men who want to reconnect with women.. who seek real intimacy through equal partnership.

Motherhood is Messy

 

It’s funny that once a dog has puppies she is called a bitch.. It kinda works that way. Once you become a mother your less likely to take shit from people.. you go from maiden to mistress.. in that you learn to own it. You learn to own you body for the first time in your life.. you learn about morning sickness and leaky breast.. you are baptized in poop..those wonderful breast milk poops that come out of your babies bottom like hot squirting lava.. you learn about blood.. you learn that childbirth has been made romantic and dreamy by media bullshit.. in birth you learn it’s a blood bath.. it’s all blood and water..birthing water mixed with blood..shit yes you learn to own your body and you learn that you need to be a bitch to get shit done.. to get your message across to your partner when your so sleep deprived that words escape you.. just a grunt and a point .. ” just hand me the fucking bottle!”

 

My girlfriend and I are both now single mothers; contending with nasty pouting exes.. both of them keeping money and assets away..both of them abusive and controlling .. mine still owns me $24,000.00 My girlfriend is going broke paying lawyers  just to do simple things..  I know that I have to go after my ex without a lawyer because lawyers fees would eat up the entire amount in the attempt to get him to pay what he legally owes. Both of us are concerned for our safety as both of our exes seem to be capable of harming us.. I really am afraid to go after him for the money.. this also is the messy part of single parenting..Divorce and separation of assets..and of course to our exes we are bitches that deserve nothing.

 

Being a single mother on mother’s day sucks.. both of us didn’t want to take ourselves out for a mother’s day brunch or winery tour.. or buy ourselves flowers and chocolates.. knowing that other married mother’s were being spoiled by family was a real downer for us.. we took our kids to the park.. and when our kids were busy playing we got down to bitchen in a good way.

 

Both of us are highly sexed women.. meaning that sex means a lot to us..so guess what we talk about most of the time….?? The lack of good sex. How sex deprived we both were in our marriages .. and how on earth were we going to meet someone worth it? Seriously.. we both just want that guy we want to molest constantly..and the guy that takes pride in giving a woman pleasure… not just getting himself off.. no way! There are so many guys like that..

 

“No overly religious guys” I blurted ” I hate that fucking ..be a good girl and let me be the head of the house shit” My Friend says ” Oh my God.. when they start talking about how God has done this or that.. I run. There is a woman I know that married a guy that was a Muslim..he was so anal.. he made her cover her head and shit.” I laughed ..she said ” I don’t think they believe in divorce.. I would rebel and come home with cum in my hair..” I BURST OUT LAUGHING..the way she said it touching her hair like it had globs of cum in it.. I was rolling on our picnic blanket busting a gut…I said ” Like with cum on your breath?” OMG.. we laughed ” I am gonna pee!” we both said..

 

Then we talked about living with just enough while or exes had all the freedom to work and play at will..while our entire income went into raising the kids..while they traveled and bought new vehicles.. we talked about the endless cycle of housework, cooking and grocery shopping.. about all the responsibility and about how hard it was to find free time to work, to take care of ourselves, to have any free time..and then the mother guilt that the ex husbands didn’t have..

 

Than back to sex again.. and eating watermelon and mango..both sexy foods you know? “What kind of sex do your crave?” she asked me ” I want someone who is physical like me and has my energy..someone who isn’t afraid to explore..and who will like it when I tell him what I need him to do.”  ” What about you” I asked her. ” The same fucking thing!” She said.. I told her ” A man that makes  you feel marked by him.. you know he is so passionate that you couldn’t imagine being with any other guy but him.. like he owns your mind and body..because no one can make you as hot as him.” “FUCKING EXACTLY.. that’s fucking hot..do you think we can find it?” ..” I hope so.” I said depressed.

 

” I am so sexually frustrated..doing the passion parties and reading about great sex and even having someone to re-start a spark with.. you know I am so sick of taking care of my own business.. it has been so long since I have been with a man..and then the last couple of guys that I have been with in the last 3 1/2 years since my marriage ended..well they were a disappointment .. I have been deprived for fucking years!”.. I said with utter frustration..” I think I am just so fucking frustrated.. I am on match.com but it’s just ..like yuck..guys that don’t give a shit about their bodies..don’t have my level of energy..they all seem boring as hell.. my vibrator will do compared to these guys.. no fucking thanks!

 

” Me too Gracie… me too”

 

So what is the fucking point to this post.. the point is mommies are not all sunshine and cookies.. we are that as well but we are also real women.. with real issues and real bodies and real needs.. that’s the point.

 

 

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