Posts Tagged ‘sexual equality in Canada’

Justin Trudeau you had me at Feminism

 

You had me at feminism but you probably will not read this poorly unedited, blog written by a self educated woman that isn’t included into your Camelot Circle. I am not a wealthy or connected person and so from what I have seen of you I will not matter. I am a commoner. I was really reminded of that watching the Royal Convoy speed past me and my children in Kelowna BC yesterday afternoon. The Liberal Government has been reminding common folk that they are common folk, as they surround themselves with only the best and most important people in the world. I simply don’t matter. I am just another number or statistic. I am just a single mother doing the single mother struggle. I am a renter caught in the middle of a greedy monster of a market brought into BC by the Chinese laundering their money through Vancouver real estate.

But anyways.. you had me at feminism, and so I watched you appoint many women into your government and I watched you support aboriginal women to work for you in your government..and then I watched you to see what actions you would take in supporting all women, all over Canada.. but I have to say that since your appointment I haven’t seen much from you. You have traveled to create positive relationships towards trade to other countries like China, you have taken multiple vacations and you always seem to be jet setting somewhere to do something ” important” you did increase family allowance and that was very helpful towards single mothers like me.. but…

Did you take notice of the Canadian judge that told a 19 year old rape victim to keep her legs together? Did you notice that he wasn’t fired right away, I have been watching the press and as far as I can tell he is still on the payroll.. So what are you going to do about it? How are you going to address and repair our judicial system towards educating judges and their misogyny?

Did you know that if a woman on welfare lives with a man for only 3 months she can have her support taken away from her as she is deemed to be in his care? Doesn’t it seem reasonable to assume then that she would be forced to stay in an abusive relationship so as not to become homeless? What are you going to do about it? Why haven’t welfare rates been raised to match inflation? Do you know how many women and children are on welfare, do you know how many children go hungry because the government refuses to give the common and poor dignity? What are you going to do about it?

Did you know that according to The Province male landlords in Vancouver are placing adds for female tenants to pay for their rent with sex? Don’t you think if women made equal pay and had the same opportunities as men that situations like this would and could be minimized? What are you going to do about it? The Province reported that the police will do nothing about it until women come forward individually. I think that is sexist and I think you should make the police.. police and put them up to an undercover sting operation.. am I the only one thinking about this? Why are you not thinking about this? Are you to busy hobnobbing with the snobs and really important people to be thinking about the common people? It seems so.

Why are you allowing rents to increase with out creating a law that stops landlords from asking for such unreasonably high rents? Why are you not capping the rent increases so that cities like Vancouver and Kelowna will be affordable and enjoyable for all Canadians? Don’t you think that if the rents were capped that it would decrease the amounts of men asking for sex as payment of rent and don’t you think it would make it easier for single parents to find homes to raise their children in? Don’t you think that capping rents would make it so that people can afford to eat? How can people afford these unreasonably high rents when working full time on minimum wage as it still puts them below the poverty line? Did you know that landlords are now making unreasonable request towards renter’s personal information and personal business because the market is so cut throat .. so they can invade on people’s right to privacy.. they are picking and preening.

Or is it more important to you to bring more Chinese money into BC to make it a tourist destination or a rich only destination to create more wealth for the wealthy?

You were born to privilege, you were born into the political life.. so are you so blinded by your upbringing that you cannot empathize with the common people and their basic needs to human rights? Is wealth and giving and getting privilege the goal?

Of course there are surmountable responsibilities towards running a country and being Prime Minister .. I would like you and I think other Canadian’s would like to see you sit your down in your office and get to work.I think it is time for you to be practical and down to earth towards the simple things that matter to the public, because you were appointed to serve us not your rich and very important friends and associates ..all women deserve equality and safety not just the select few that you have selected.

All Canadians deserve respect and dignity not just the select few that can afford to buy into a hugely inflated real estate market. I think as a Prime Minister your first course of action should of been to take care of societies most vulnerable.

But of course what do I know.. because statistically speaking, I am one of them.

The best financial advice for women

When I was 13 my mother died. I went to see a grief therapist who’s name was Dr. Linford. The best over all advice he ever gave me was simply this ” Cover your own ass.”  He then explained himself, he said ” So many girls and women give into the damsel in distress archetype Gracie,and that is how they end up victims of men and society. Never put your eggs in one basket and never leave all your money or property in a man’s hands to do with it what he will. You will be told by society and religion that if you are a ” good girl and a good wife.’ you will trust him to make all the financial decisions and to have the final say with the money.. and that is how you will loose your power. Don’t loose yourself in the role of wife and mother; always have your own passions and money..even if it is just a small part time job..always have something saved away for a rainy day.. that keeps a man in check and keeps him from over powering you. Men are socially programmed to dominate and control women; the easiest and most acceptable way to control women is through the purse strings. To be an equal you must demand and command your equality by covering your own ass.”

I did listen to him. I always had my own income even in common law relationships. I always had other interests other than a man or men in general. I wasn’t boy crazy.. but of course I slipped. When my ex husband and I met he had nothing and his small landscaping business was failing. I helped him up an out of his dept hole by teaching him how to choose better partners, to sell the old business and through my own hard work I was able to get a business grant through the federal government by taking a month long course and writing a detailed business plan.. to get that grant he had to legally sign over 51% ownership of the business { guess the government was onto some guys as I was given the grant for being a young female minority } I had legal signing authority over the bank accounts.. but while pregnant with our second child we moved to a different city and opened up new accounts..and while very pregnant the bank manager asked me in front of my husband while he was holding our toddler ” Would you like a lawyer present for formal legal signing authority over the counts?” My then husband answered for me ” Oh we don’t need that, you trust me don’t you sweet heart?” and so I declined the offer.. my ass was then fully exposed to be screwed over.. and so to make a long story short.. by the time our third child was born he had himself a midlife crisis ” it was my fault of course because I didn’t make like perfect enough for him” he left to Mexico with his mistress and best friends .. and locked me out of the business accounts and drained our personal account to 0.00 balance… point proven right  :(

And then I went through a sexist legal system that didn’t respect my rights and equality in the marriage..by me not respecting myself enough not to give him full financial authority over me..and so I was denied justice and was cut short by thousands of dollars in the sale of the our house that he thought primarily to belong to him..as women’s work doesn’t matter and as women’s time isn’t as valuable as a man’s time??? Or so he thought and still thinks to this day..but men are socially programmed to believe that women are not as valuable as men..and that is why we cannot fall into the trap of believing that ourselves.

I don’t care how long you have been married or in a relationship; you must have your own source of income, you must have your own car, you must have your own interest, talents or intellect on which you can draw upon to guide you towards making an income for yourself. Many women who become newly single through death or divorce simply focus on finding a new man for financial safety and resources .. when they should be working on their own way to generate for themselves.. we see many women fall into the same patterns of behavior with future relationships and then they wonder why they keep getting financially abused?

These are the realities of the real world.. what do you think would happen to Cinderella if Prince Charming decided she got to old and the parlor maid was to hot to ignore? What happens to her then? Cinderella didn’t own the Kingdom .. it’s all in his name and she is simply an item to discard at his will..

So cover your own ass.. I am now, and I will never make that mistake again.

Free The Nipple and Goddess Movement

To the point – Both of these movements are about sexual liberation and gender equality.

            

 

Free the Nipple is an equality movement focused upon the double standards regarding the censorship of female breasts started by activist and filmmaker Lina Esco.[1] The campaign is not a crusade that exclusively advocates for women to bare their chests at any and all given times; rather, it seeks to strip society of its tendencies toward the sexualization of the female upper body, addressing hypocrisies and inconsistencies in American culture and legal systems that enforce its taboos. Ultimately, the campaign resolves to decriminalize female toplessness in the US and empower women across western nations in a greater effort toward global gender equality.

 

Of course not every woman wants to go topless were men can go topless; like the beach.. but not every man wants to take off his shirt either.. and that’s called freedom of choice.

Many old school feminist bash the movement because they have been taken in by sexual shaming and so they unknowingly shame their own sex by believing if a woman is sexy or sexual she cannot be professional, moral, ethical or taken seriously; because she is using her sexuality to get male attention.. they believe feminist need to minimize their sexuality to take on the stereotype of what a feminist looks like.. to be taken seriously..but that is exactly why women’s equality has stalled out. The new feminine/feminist movement promotes that BEING SEXY IS NOT A CRIME. The double standards promote that the world’s morality rests on the control of the womb.. or women’s sex..the over sexualization of women and girls is brought on by repression and objectification..the fine balance of natural sexuality becoming unbalanced by the polar opposites.. natural sexuality is body positive.. not sexual shaming or making women into sex objects to be bought and sold by a male based society.. an example of the double standards are.. men who have many sex partners are studs.. women who do are sluts.. men are encouraged to loose their virginity while women are made to feel dirty, or to have fallen from grace when they become sexually active.

     

 

 

Chris was very professional and easy going; he made me quite comfortable. We wanted to tell a story with these images; a story of natural sexuality, innocence and sensuality. We took these images first thing in the morning of the Summer Solstice.. I felt very much like Mother Nature .. It was a spiritual and artistic experience. Chris and I are both passionate artists.. we really enjoyed every second of the shoot.. even when the parks keepers seemed to be worried about what we were doing; but like true artist we kept shooting anyway. The water was very cold, but there were few people to worry about.. we saw eagles, deer and hawks.. it was a beautiful country morning. The images were shot at Bertram Creek Regional Park Kelowna BC Canada.. of course I was in my legal rights to go topless..but most people in Kelowna are not ready for that..it’s a repressive, conservative community…but that is why we needed to do this.

I am the country girl that decides to challenge social taboos and go for a swim topless.. just like every man has a right to do. The images are meant to show natural sexuality..sensuality and playfulness.

I know I will get a lot of hate from my local community for doing this.. I always do. People are really afraid of change and evolution.. but religion is outgrowing it’s usefulness to society.. traditions are now prejudices that cause inequality..

I hope to enlighten my community..but .. ” The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off ” ~ Gloria Steinem

You can find my book at this link http://bookstore.balboapress.com/Products/SKU-000576933/The-Goddess-an-Expression-of-the-Divine-Feminine.aspx

 

 

Comparison is the thief of joy

Or it is an examination of reality..and reality bites.

” Be like water.. flow” Or ” Only dead fish float”

Success .. how do you define success? Is it to rise above others.. to stand out from the crowd by having more than what others have..be it fame or money? I define success as helping others rise.. this is my calling and this is me being truly myself. I have seen the inequalities by comparison my entire life.. from a small child I could see the entitlement of men over women..and racists attitudes and beliefs in our cultures.. I could see from the time my feet hit the earth.. how religion and other organizations brainwashed society into these unequal patterns ..that we act out daily against one another.. and so I rage against the machine.. I rage against the bullshit.. break out of the box and raise my fist against it..and I expose it..I write about it.. to help society rise.

Yes comparison is the thief of joy.. but it is those who place the comparisons that are the true thieves of equality.. they are the black magicians.. the wolves in sheep’s clothing… the lions that seem to be tamed.. the capitalist that calls himself a philanthropist.. is really the wolf hunting the sheep.. in the camouflage of the sheep’s skin.. of the last one he ran through with his hidden agenda.. ” Welcome to the Jungle it gets worse here everyday, ya learn to live like an animal, in the Jungle were we play, if you got a hunger for what you see, you will take it eventually, you can have anything you want but you better not take it from me ” Guns N’ Roses mentality..but the truth will set you free.

If we stop comparing.. we will become food for those who eat people’s faces off.. the lion that you thought you had tamed.. but you loved the lion..you fed the lion.. you even coddled the lion.. and the lion was like a child to you..but when you were alone with the lion.. were no one could see.. the true nature of the lion came out to play..and the lion ate your face off.. this is the nature of the beast.. the nature of greed for those who define their successes as having others bones beneath their feet… it is in the lion’s and the wolves nature to feed.. because this is the Jungle.. and the laws of nature apply.. so you better get wise.. you better watch them for what they do..not for who they say they are.. you better fucking compare sheep to lions.. wolves to rabbits.. victimizers to victims so that you be neither .. these are street smarts .. required by those born into the Jungle.. were you learn to run before you walk.. you learn to get the fuck outta there when the air gets heavy and hot.. you trust your instincts..when the hair raises on the back of your neck you know your being hunted.. you know your being stalked.. to not become the cruel flesh eater.. you don’t join in the feeding frenzy.. you don’t move with the pack.. you become the lone wolf.. the one that goes against the nature of the beast.. to not become the victim you get wise to your own nature.. your own inner beast is the one you tame.. not the beasts outside of yourself.. you don’t walk away you run.. you get gone when the air gets think with blood lust.. this is the wisdom of the lone wolf..of the lion that has truly become the King of the Jungle.. he/she moves at their own pace.

But if women stop comparing inequalities of the 77 cent dollar compared to %100 male dollar the beast will continue to feed on the flesh of the weak that choose to go belly up and float.. if African American’s don’t compare white justice to true justice .. justice will never be manifest.. it will stay The Jungle..and the saints and angels will always be portrayed with white skin..and those of color will remain less than.. this is reality and it bites.. it bites down hard with the intention of tearing flesh down to bone.

So joy walks hand in hand with sorrow.. so we can know joy by comparison towards the depths of deep sadness.. this births wisdom.. because in The Jungle only the prey go belly up.

” In The Jungle, Welcome to the Jungle, watch it bring you to your..It’s gonna bring ya down – HA!”

Anti Abortion Protests in Kelowna BC Canada

This happened on Wednesday morning May 20th 2015.. it’s taken me a few days to calm down so that I can write this post as objectively as possible.

I was driving my kids to school; driving past Mission Park in Kelowna..down Springfield Rd.. we saw bright colors along the hillside. At first my kids and I thought they had turned the hillside into a huge garden bed of flowers; but upon approaching we saw the anti abortion signs and that the flowers were bright blue and pink landscape flags. I must say I was instantly livid!..and I can pinpoint exactly why now. Because pro choice gives women and men the choice to continue a pregnancy or not.. it gives choice and non judgement. Pro choice doesn’t attempt the owner ship of women’s bodies or both men and women’s lives. Pro Life attempts to take away the rights and freedoms of others by painting all abortions with the same brush of brightly colored shame. To me all of those flags were a guilt trip! All of those flags dipped in the manipulative poison of shame. Each of those flags represents the ownership of the womb; they tag women as incubators for the seed of the patriarchy.

What really pisses me off the most is that these anti abortionist; pro lifers .. were given a permit from the city to use a public park..along a very busy road .. using freedom of speech and freedom to protest to attempt to take freedom away from women and men who, for varied reason have chosen not to take a pregnancy to full term.. how is it that shaming people who practice their rights to choice isn’t considered hate speech? I think it is because the Government is steep in religious dogma..that it has been absorbed into the constitution if the constitution is even at all relevant at times like these.. and so my rage; my anger .. was the response of protecting freedom.. and such is the effect of passion.and my passion for women’s rights, equality and freedom.. yes this makes me an emotional girl.

I knew upon passing this display of self righteous hypocrisy that I would be taking a stand .. as I dropped my children off at school I was chomping at the bit to confront those who attempted through guilt and shame to take way the rights and freedoms of others.. and so I did.

Dressed for the gym.. I walked up the slope of the park to address a man sitting smugly in a lawn chair.. he was about 65. I asked him what the protest was about; he told me that each of the flags represented a boy or girl that was aborted. I asked him ” Were are the rainbow flags for all of the gay children then? You know they are born gay right?” He then asked me if I believed in hell.. my response was ” hell is here right now and you are creating it.” He told me they had a right to protest..and then I told him I have a right to protest your protest by picking up the garbage that you have all over this public park. I then began pulling out flags. I was yelled at of course. I was asked ” Don’t you believe in God?” I was told ” You are a baby killer !!” ( I myself haven’t had to have an abortion..but I just might need to one day ..if I am raped..or my daughters and your daughters might need to one day too) Then soon I found myself surrounded. I was preached at; my hair was pulled. They tried to untie my runners. They tried to pull the flags from my arms..but I kept pulling them up.. the posts were steel..they were getting heavy.. they said ” You have quite a few now..they must be getting heavy.. why don’t you just put them down..give them to us..they are our property.. you are taking our property ..we are calling the police now!!” I told them ” It is a good thing I lift heavy weights then.. I was just on my way to the gym..I go 5 days a week. I am not taking your property off this property so I am not stealing anything. When I am done cleaning up your guilt trip I will give them back to you. Call the police.. my name is Gracie Ackerman.” I was glad they were calling the cops. I wanted to get my point across, strong and clearly. The men were so arrogant and manipulative. They told me they were just trying to stop all the baby girl abortions in China.. they told me that was male control.. not what they were doing in the name of God.. then they told me this was non religious.. then in the next sentence they were condemning me and judging me a evil and a sinner. One woman who had an abortion.. who obviously regretted it; was sure I had, had one too.. she said ” She is obviously wounded from her abortion” I said ” Obviously you are..but you have no right to think that other women will share your feelings should they chose to abort.”

One man in his 50s droned on and on.. with his own personal dogma..saying the same thing over and over again..it was so ultra creepy.. He stood toe to toe with me as I bent over and kept picking up the flags.. saying ” That was another baby you just killed.. that flag was a boy..now you just killed a girl..” then he went on and on and on about the baby girls in China .. his eyes would glaze over as if he took comfort and got a high from his own internal dogma spewing out of his mouth..finally I just couldn’t take him anymore and I said ” Do I look like your subservient good Christian wife? Do I look like that stunned bitch over there that is in a constant guilt trip in her own head over her choice to abort? Do I look like I empower the patriarchy by giving you my submission and my mind? Fucking shut the fuck up! You fucking arrogant ignorant boy man! Go tell you wife this shit.. You represent women’s imprisonment! You fucking make me sick! You are the type of man in the church that would rape a young girl.. then blame her for dressing the wrong way inciting her own rape.. look at how these women dress here.. like sickening gray zombies.. no make up .. no skin showing.. they are servants to men.. do I look like the fucking type that is going to believe your manipulations and dogma bullshit.. shut the fuck up!” I was thinking ” Were the fuck are the cops! I want to make my stand..get the point across for all women who are to afraid to do this..because I am not afraid..but hurry up cops!”

So next the sang Amazing Grace..because they thought it funny and ironic that my name is Grace.. So I sang it will them.. my voice shaking in anger.. and I corrected them when they got the lyrics wrong..idiots! And that is right I am Amazing Grace.. because what I did was for the love of equality and freedom.. for everyone that is here on this planet with me and everyone who will walk after me..

Finally the cops showed up.. I motioned for him to walk up the slope.. He had to give me shit..that’s his job. I understood that. I had to drop the flags were I stood..because legally they were not my property. Yes they got a permit to protest from the parks board.. ( way to go Government and religion mixing ) .. that equals inequality..

But after the cop gave me shit.. I told him ” I am proud of myself and what I did. I write about women’s rights and equality…sexual repression through religion..I respect the fact that you are a cop.. your job is intense.. but I hope you can see that we both stand for the same thing and that is justice.. I didn’t just write about it..I just walked my talk.. I think I took a stand today for many people.” We then shook hands..and I got in my car.. and I went to the gym and worked it all out in sweat.. mission was accomplished.

I learned that they had a right to put their hands on me for pulling up there flags.. imaging that? Some thing is really wrong with that..

But imagine if this does set hard and fast into our Government.. and women become less than people because the potential life inside of them becomes more important than the proven viable life carrying the the potential.. if that happens humanity is damned to fall into ashes.

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