Posts Tagged ‘sexual discrimination’

Kelowna Culture in Retrospect-fades to grey

 

When I moved to Kelowna BC from the small town of Armstrong BC, just an hour and a half away I thought it would be a city full of opportunity for me as an artist/writer/activist and on a personal level as a newly divorced, broken hearted single mother; I might find a new love.

I had always wanted to write my book; even as a small child I was accutely aware of the double standards, violence and sexism against women. I thought the Goddess or Wonder Woman was and still is a empowering archetype towards empowering women and girls. The main reason behind my book was to show that women and men could both be strong, emotional, compassionate and that both the sexes could strive towards true justice and equality. As a very small child raised in a strict christian household, I was still a wise old soul whom saw past the shame and sin placed on sexuality as unfounded and just silly. I would prance naked around my repressed mother as she squacked and clucked at me for my sinful nature with glee and mischeif. I just knew that logically the shame placed on sexuality and the body was unnatural not sex and sexuality.

Anyways upon moving to Kelowna and writing, producing the goddess photography or photographs of me as many goddesses, upon designing and publishing my website and blog, I was continually shocked at how the arts council and at how the leaders of Kelowna’s culture treated me as a second class citizen. I was not allowed to join in networking groups, I was not given the press release that the art’s council promised me. I was not allowed to show my book or other art in galleries or other art exhibits. I was not heard by Colin Basran, he called me to tell me there was nothing he could do about the outright prejudice and discrimination placed upon me by the leaders of Kelown’s cultural networking organizations. He told me he could not make people include me. I was made of mockery of by Laurie Welborn who’s name came up on our phone conversation. She did a video of the topless issue after pretending to be my friend off and on Facebook, it was obvious online bullying and even after she made the videos she then asked me to my face if I felt suicidal. During this time I was also harassed out of Brett Wilson’s gym by his female manager a close friend of Laurie’s, because I was told my online profile or my writing about the discrimination, sexuall harssment, sexual discrimination and women’s sexuality was a threat to Brett Wilson’s reputation. The Mayor of Kelowna was made aware of all these facts yet because I was not wealthy or well connected I simply didn’t matter to Kelowna’s socieity or culture. If I had, had a Batchelor of the Arts or other degrees I would probably of been given some credibility, but I am self taught, a natural talent, self read, self motivated, self starter and well studied and well read on my own; but in Kelowna this holds no credibility. In Kelowna’s culture of wealth and social status I was invisible. I was a minority I was an annoyance to the wealthy and connected that wanted and that wants to manipulate and mold Kelowna’s culture as they see fit; like Colin Basran, the wealthy and highly connected Cipes family and the private owners of KelownaNow. I was purposefully shut out of and silenced from Kelowna’s culture as a threat towards Kelowna’s professional and pristeen tourist orientated brand. Kelowna’s culuture has become a tourist brand. I was made invisible by sexual prejudice, ignorance and going by Laurie’s videos.. hate.

Looking in retrospect at Kelowna’s culture; it is culture based on wealth and the accumulation of wealth; as Kelowna tried to paint me over with shades of grey to make me invisible as a part from the culture or IMAGE they wish to create and brand, Kelowna is grey or bland in it’s culture as it steals from other cultures what it feels is culturally safe and acceptable- but isn’t this just the Canadian way of the arts in general? What is Canadian culture but a washed out version of American or US culture? And we wonder why Candian artist can’t make a go of it in Canada?

I was the biggest feminist in Kelowna but Kelowna effectively phased me out by overwhelming me and my children through me by it’s overt prejudice towards me. But my children and I are slowly loosing our Kelowna Culture wash; my kids are not feeling the need to be overly competative or to dress to impress others, and I am finding peace and solitude in the countryside. It is all slowly fading to grey.

I learned that I never needed to be in Kelowna to pursue my arts and feminist activism and that I would never of met anyone in that culture due to how they would be washed by that culture into seeing me through prejudice. I learned that I am unique and special, special enought to stand out from the crowd and make it on my own an on my own terms..and by make it, I mean being me and doing what I love. I can share and educate here through my own creations.

Open Letter to the Canadian RCMP

Update – soon after sending this email and posting this to my blog I was called by the police inspector and given a verbal apology.
This is a modified email that I sent out the Vernon Police Inspector
I don’t expect any action from the police due to the fact that it is clearly a boy’s club. Just going by my own personal experiences thought my life and by seeing how other women around me, including my own mother have been treated by the RCMP I am expecting no real justice.
Reading the popular media, in the last year a Canadian judge told a rape victim in court that she should of just kept her legs together and just recently a female officer quit her job of 14 years of trying to educate the male force towards sexual harassment and discrimination. The female officer quit her job due to sexual harassment and discrimination. Clearly this is a boy’s club and obviously my complaints and my story will be covered up.
Inspector ********* left me a phone message saying that Cost. ******** who delivered the letter to me for the gym owner Peter ******** was inappropriate but he is a young officer so he didn’t really know any better. This is clearly an excuse. As an officer of the law it is his duty to be impartial and to serve the law not the boy’s club at Peter’s gym. It is the duty of the police force to protect me as a woman against sexual discrimination and harassment, not to further harass me for the retired police officer Len; who not only asked me how much for sexual favors but it was his and the owner’s intention to scare me out of the unisex area and out of the gym, so that they could continue to further discriminate against other female members without being held accountable. The owner’s language and those of his friends that participate, is the language of hate speech. Peter clearly stated in the video that he wanted the guys down stairs to be able to talk about what ever they wanted, that includes bashing other religions, races, cultures, gays and women. Clearly this is against human rights and this man shouldn’t be able to legally run a business that is based on discrimination and harassment of those who don’t meet his personal specifications. Peter should not have a business licence and should not be serving the public as we all know hate speech and discrimination cause hate crimes like what just happened in Quebec.
If I as a woman, cannot give a statement to the RCMP about sexual harassment with out the police coming back onto me, in my home, invading my personal life and privacy; how than can any woman report even more serious crimes like rape?
The police have terrorized me. I don’t feel safe in my own home. The date rape that I buried subconsciously has now risen to the surface of my awareness; and I am experiencing emotionally all the effects of deep trauma. I am so glad that I did not report my date rape to the police here in Armstrong BC, six years ago as I am sure I would of been blamed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I had physical injuries due to the rape but I am sure it would of been written off by the police as just rough sex. It seems to me that the police protect men and their reputations over women and their rights to be treated with respect and dignity.
After Constable ******** left me with the letter and his horrible condescending attitude of threatening me with arrest should I trespass back into the gym, I was left feeling hopeless and suicidal. I felt and I was punished by the police for daring to make a statement of sexual harassment and sexual discrimination against a retired police officer and a male gym owner. Obviously these men are of more importance to the police and to the law than I am as a woman. Obviously it is criminally offensive for a woman to dare to stand up to sexual harassment and obviously female police officers find the same fate within the system.
We are living in very sad and sorrowful times are we not?
Inspector ********* has left a message with me as has Les ****** of the Enderby police department. I have returned their messages but I have not been called back.
It would be just and right if the police gave me a public apology towards their own actions of not following proper procedure instead of making excuses and attempting to bury it under red tape and paper work. I think that the intent is that I will give up hope and drop it, and that I will just get on with my life. It seems to me the intention is to rip away my self worth and to induce hopelessness so that the matter doesn’t have to be properly addressed by the RCMP.
Going by what is happening Canada wide and by the tone of how the world treats women and their rights.. I am sure all women will be continued to be treated as property and second class citizens. It doesn’t seem to matter if you live by the letter of the law, pay your taxes and respect authority as clearly male based authority doesn’t respect women in general.
I have put ********* into the names to protect privacy and so that the law doesn’t once again come back onto me. I am publishing this to protect myself should the police further discriminate against me as retaliation or punishment, and to also show the truth should the gym owner have members make up false stories to cover himself.

Being Gay and The Divine Feminine

I am reeling emotionally from the events or mass slaughter in the gay night club ” The Pulse” in Orlando Florida. These events directly relate to me because gay men carry The Divine Feminine essence in that they are more Feminine, and by being more Feminine they take on the submissive role. We see in our male based society the fear of the Feminine energy as being weak..and by being weak it must be destroyed to prevent the destruction of a male powered society. We see the feminine sexual energy driven out of society by women fearing to be feminine or to be womanly..as they will be targeted to be made into victims for asking for it.. we see a male based culture that is totally out of balance causing mass destruction of all that is feminine including gay men.

We see the killer as possibly being gay himself, and because of his Muslim, patriarchal.. male based religion; being internally at odds.. causing him to kill off the sexuality he feared within himself by inflicting that death on 50 others around him. But this internal sexual conflict doesn’t just exist in the killer .. for he is a metaphor for a society that is at odds within it’s self..he is the internal battle that takes up within the souls of many. Many whom have been brainwashed by thousands of years by multiple different religions that claim women’s sexuality and gay sexuality as evil and vile. The Whore of Babylon a abomination to the Church.. The Whore a representation of free female sexuality.. and Sodom and Gomarrah the city of homosexual sin that was destroyed by an all mighty male God.. as you can see all that is Feminine is deserving of death, judgment and torture.. these teachings, or even just metaphors to some.. ingrained deep within each and every one of us subconsciously..and so we are in an internal conflict.. most all of society denying the simple pleasures of the flesh due to fear and guilt. We fear the punishment of others..and so many of us unknowing pass those judgments onto others least we should be judged by others or least we should judge ourselves.. for the Feminine is weak..and we should kill what is weak..and the masculine is strong and knows what is right and wrong.. and if we follow the judgments and dogma of religion..and call others witches, fags and whores, we will be safe from judgement ourselves..it is insane and it is crazy.. but most of it is unconscious even to those who profess no religion or belief system..because it is seeped into media and the Government Systems..

And so we see women who hide behind layers of fat to stay safe.. I am not talking about the curvy women that own the skin they are in and walk in confidence.. no I am talking about the majority of women who use food as sex because it keeps them safe from having sex, liking sex and being sexy.. if you are fat you are less of a target. We see women who are walking bags of bones because they are afraid to have boobs, hips and curves least they should become too sexy and to ripe.. or targets for rape and sexual harassment.. then there are women who dress and act like men in the office or at the gym.. being told that to do so is to respect themselves.. to become like men in a male world is not to bring sexual attention towards yourself…because if you are looking feminine, sexy or beautiful you are asking for that attention.. the attention of being called a whore, easy, slut .. you are not to be taken seriously because sexy women are stupid women.. they deserve it.. and gay men that are openly gay, whom are being feminine are asking for it too.. because they are submissive and like women they like to be penetrated and those that are penetrated are the submissive victims.. and so all that is Feminine in nature is a victim that should be used and discarded at the will of the more masculine ..

And so this is why I have an affection for gay men.. as a woman promoting and being in my Divine Feminine Essence.. I have been made a victim of and then blamed for being a victim for being soft, yielding and open.. as have gay men.. and that is why our culture has grown blood thirsty and cold of heart.. because when the Feminine shines she is shot down in night clubs in cold blood.. when the Goddess rises in dance, in the pursuit of pleasure and all that is pleasurable she is shot down in cold blooded rage by those who are in inner turmoil themselves.. out of balance and out of touch with their own Inner Goddess..

And that is why The Goddess stands with gay men.. because they are an essence of her.

 

Open Letter to Justin Trudeau

 

To get to the point, the subject of this letter is women’s rights and equality. My book and life are based on this subject. I am the subject in question as are all women and/or Canadian women.

My qualifications are not based on PHDs or graduate degrees, my spelling, punctuation and grammar will not be perfect upon writing this post. I am a single mother so I cannot afford to have someone edit my blog. Like most single mothers I am very busy; as I write this my three children are settling in bed.. let’s hope they stay that way so I don’t loose my train of thought.

I want to share my personal experience as a woman living in Canada, under Canada’s flawed and sexist justice system.

I found out how unfair the justice system is going through my divorce. I learned through the judges and lawyers that my work wasn’t as important as my ex husbands work. I learned through them that he was actually the leader in the marriage and the one that was truly responsible for the family landscaping business. It didn’t matter that I had to work for a Government Grant to fund the start up of the business. A grant were I was taught how to write a business plan; were I had to pitch the plan to a board, and that I had to compete for the 3 grants up on the table against 30 other competitors. But I learned the 51% of the business that he had signed over to me to fully qualify for the grant didn’t really mean anything in court. I told them that the business didn’t actually need him for me to run it on my own. I told them that everything he did I could hire out to be done and I could still turn a profit. But that didn’t matter to the judges, the lawyers or the mediators. You see men’s work is more important than women’s work because they told me he was the business and so it should be his. And I wasn’t named on the mortgage, because of student loan dept at the time; it turned out that when the house sold he could take 1/3 more of what was not his. Of course I could of kept lawyers after him, but with no money and legal aid a complete joke ( basically you have to sell your car and almost be on the street to get legal aid ) my ex got away with an extra $22,000.00 and the business. I got $600 a month in alimony.

So Mr. Trudeau how will you change the system so that this doesn’t happen to other women? Are you going to change legal aid? Can you somehow teach lawyers and judges that women’s work is just as important as a man’s work? I want to know if you are going to implement equal pay? I don’t think it is fair that just because a woman can give birth she should be put behind in the pay grade.. do you?

Later on I found it impossible to get my ex to pay for his share of daycare. I tried to go back to school using a big lump sum of Family Allowance back pay. You see my ex wouldn’t sign the papers for the Government stating that we were legally separated; he still wanted to do income splitting with me to help himself ( he thinks he is more important than me and the children, and I wonder why that is? ) I had to get lawyers to get him to sign..so I was given a nice fat sum of $7,000.00 I went to college to get upgraded on my Executive Secretary. But my ex refused to pay his half of the childcare. I couldn’t afford keep hiring lawyers so with no help from legal aid my abusive ex caused me to have to drop out. I had to pay the childcare owning by him, myself. But wait it gets even better. A year or so later my ex took me to court because my car has an electrical problem and I can’t drive it long distances to drop the kids off to him; and so he comes to get them and drive them home. The judge wouldn’t even look at the papers my mechanic gave me as proof in court. The judge refused to make my ex pay for childcare as I didn’t provide proof that I was working or looking for work..( I didn’t know I had to provide proof I wasn’t applying for welfare ) but then they told me I had to find a full time job not a part time job and they wanted my preteen daughters to take the bus home from school across the city while I was going to be working at said full time job. The judge threatened me by saying ” If I wanted to I could make you pay for the last year of your ex husband’s gas.” The judge refused to listen to me when I told him that I was entrepreneuring a book, a concept and movement towards freeing women from sexual repression. He refused to look at the book; and in the minutes later mailed to me.. he refuse to acknowledge that I had even wrote a book.. he said ” Wants to write a book.”

Mr. Trudeau I was invisible in that court room. What are you going to do about this? Why is hearsay ( rumor or gossip ) sound like her-story..and history is recorded fact? Why are male voices heard and female voices passed up as non-important? It was like I was a ghost.. was I even really there to them? Why are judges able to financially abuse women with threats of back pay on what isn’t owed?

Mr. Trudeau when our house sold I wanted to use the money to move to Vancouver from Kelowna to launch my book. Kelowna and the Okanagan is a very Christian/Conservative community. Writing a book about women’s sexual repression to sexually liberate all women wasn’t going to be received will here. It wasn’t. My ex took me to court to order the court to stop me from moving. It would of only been a 4hr drive for him and he has family in the area. My future career and my right to the freedom to live were I choose were taken from me using the children as an excuse. I wasn’t moving them out of province or across the country. I was told by the judge that I had to remarry or be making more money than my ex husband to have that right.

Mr. Trudeau why do I have to be a man’s wife to have more rights and freedoms? Why do I have to have money to have more rights and freedoms? If I was a man I know the same wouldn’t of applied.

Mr. Trudeau I want to know why they system wants to make it so hard for me to be an independent and successful woman in my own right? I want to know why women have to work around this crap when men don’t. I want to know why many men get away with working under the table, thereby not paying the full amount of child support that they should? I want to know why the Government doesn’t audit these fathers? I want to know why the Government doesn’t make men parent? I want to know why these double standards still exist in a first world country? How can we set an example for the rest of the world if we don’t treat women with equality in a first world country?

Mr. Trudeau we are just at the tip of the iceberg here. My girlfriend was murdered by her husband in her house with her children in her house with her. He shot her. He hid her body in the house with the children in the house for over 12 hrs. This happened in Abbotsford BC. She is gone, her children are without a mother. He got out on bail 2 years after the fact. Don’t women’s lives matter in Canada? I want to know what you are going to do about that? Don’t you think this just sends a message to men that they can abuse and murder women with just a slap on the wrist? This says ” Women don’t matter”

I want to know why a Canadian judge can say to a rape victim in court ” You should of just kept your legs together” and then he is just up for review? How the hell did he become a judge in the first place? Why wasn’t he fired instantly for being a sexist pig? I want to know what you are going to do about this Mr. Trudeau?

I want to know why when I was treated with prejudice by Kelowna’s business community, by not being allowed to network within groups and organizations the Human Rights Tribunal didn’t have a clause to protect me from sexual discrimination; yet it has clauses protecting homosexual and transgender people from sexual discrimination. Why am I and not other women protected with the same rights? Why is it that if I was of East Indian decent and I wasn’t allowed into an organization the Human Rights Tribunal would of protected my rights; but as a woman writing about women’s sexuality I can be discriminated against? You have some explaining to do Mr. Trudeau.

As a woman I want to know why abortion is up for debate in Parliament? I want to know why the female body is owned and regimented by the Government and Churches? I want to know why the bible is allowed in the court room as it clearly creates a prejudice. People should just swear to tell the truth. Not everyone believes in the same God, and religion represses women. Religion states women as being under men..I think that is clearly what is wrong with the justice system. It is tainted by prejudice to create inequalities. What are you going do about this Mr. Trudeau?

Mr Trudeau I know that you have created a base of equality within your cabinet by hiring equal amounts women to men; but are the women being paid the same as the men? You have done some amazing things in the last couple of months for Canada. I think it is very compassionate of you to let in Syrian refugees. But as you can see there is so much more to do. And we both know you need to do it, we need to do it because it is the year 2016..and it’s about damn time..

Mr Trudeau I am sure your wife would agree with me that it is time for The Divine Feminine to rise. It is time that we do away with the double standards placed on women so that the entire world can become a better place for everyone. To find out more about me and my book google Gracie Ackerman.

I hope this letter was enlightening to you; I hope I have helped create positive change and evolution.

There needs to be a peaceful revolution..humanity needs to grow and evolve.

Contemplating my bad

 

Mentally reviewing the last 3 years attempting to network my book in my local community.. I realize my bad was dramatically reacting to their bad.. but of course I didn’t know what I didn’t know.. and that is what I know now…and it’s that I wouldn’t ever be accepted or be welcomed in their house of belonging due to the subject matter of my book ” Women’s sexuality ” Even though my book is tasteful and factual.. even though it is artistic and intellectual.. although very amateurish.. I wouldn’t ever of been accepted into their polished, conservative perspectives.. as they are comfortable in doing things the way they always have done them.. and I had no idea that the art culture in Kelowna and area.. are to support professionalism.. vs professionalism supporting the arts.. or any form of balance between the two. I had no idea of the fact that the people who create the culture in Kelowna, through the arts they decide to promote or show.. through the networking groups and organizations that they have created and run.. are groups and organizations based upon professional conservatism ..and that they are subject to their perspectives of good clean family values or MORALS.

My bad or my fault was to keep trying to break down their barriers and prejudices.. my fault was to keep trying to break through their walls and to try to change them after I had realized they all held the same views and they were not going to change them. Yes what they did and how they do things is wrong.. it is black and white..if you profess to include everyone in your groups and organizations..but exclude me due to the subject matter of women’s sexuality that is sexism..that is prejudice and that is black and white.. WRONG..But by me getting beside myself with anger and frustration.. with that anger and frustration turning inward inside of me ..to lead to suicidal thoughts a year ago ( I am doing really well now thanks ) but by allowing them that room in my mind, and heart they had won..and it gave them an excuse to call me crazy and a drama queen.. it gave them an excuse as a group..as individuals.. to keep excluding me..to never let me in..to not allow me to network in their groups or have speaking platform.. because of my emotions.. me attempting to hold them accountable on my blog by writing about every experience .. it made them feel justified.. so the did win. I should of realized that it was a battle that I couldn’t win after loosing so many rounds in the fight.. I should of seen it was draining.. sucking my vitality and life force.. it was taking away my confidence..as I was starting to see myself through their eyes.. I should of just walked off that battle field and realized not a single one of them was ever worth it.. that belonging or being accepted by them wasn’t ever worth loosing my sense of self over.. I should of seen much earlier that they wouldn’t ever be my audience.. because they are afraid of change.. even though they peach change and equality.. even though they go on and on about authenticity and having the courage to be different and follow your dreams.. I should of seen much sooner that these were just words of self promotion.. but I didn’t know, then what I know now.. now that I have watched them..now that I have gotten to know their patterns of make believe personas .. I sure wish I knew then what I know now..  but I am headstrong…and sometimes being headstrong can be a double edged sword..it can make you tough..but also it can make you blind to your own stubborn.. and gawd I am that.

I have a temper and righteous anger.. but now I know how to spot them because they all sound the same.. the all run in the same circles and all spout the same self-righteous crap. I can see the arrogance ..as they think they can do no wrong..and they have the power in numbers to keep their delusion of grandeur. But my bad was believing it.. comparing myself to them.. feeling like I don’t measure up because I don’t have the qualification or the professional experience that they all seem to have..but I have learned that most of their qualifications are hyped up bullshit.. my bad was not seeing it sooner.

The truth is I was and still am, their mirror.. a mirror that doesn’t work through the lens of their own rose colored glasses..but a mirror that shows them their lies and prejudices.. a mirror that shows them the truth…and that is ” Same as it ever was.. same as it ever was.” and it will always be the same old..for them..and that’s exactly why they don’t want to let me in or anyone else in that doesn’t communicate or network with in the frames of their comfort levels.. because they are afraid …

And there is my bad again..I didn’t understand it was really their fear and ignorance..it really didn’t have much to do with me.. change is a painful process..that they don’t want to face.

If there ever is a similar circumstance in my life again.. I walking away sooner.. I not going to fight battles I cannot win when I could change my strategy and change what I can.. I will accept much sooner..what I cannot not change.

Celibate Sex

 

My sexy shopping spree was brought on by a bad dream I had last night.. I know this sounds funny but dreams are funny things..and the dreams that startle you awake rise directly from your subconscious. ( It’s a fact ) this dream did just that. In my dream I was with random no-name guy. Just some dumb, faceless guy in my life because I was sexually frustrated and lonely. I know a lot of women who make that mistake.. I hate that mistake and I have learned from that sorta mistake years back.. no-name, random guy is a waste of time and energy. In a spiritual sense giving your sexual energy away to someone who doesn’t vibrate at your level is spiritually damaging.. it leaves dark empty holes in your aura.. just like it leaves them in your heart..

With the moon being in Taurus and my Venus being in Taurus; even though I am an Aries. it was time to upgrade on my sex toys..and to treat myself to some sensuality..it was a sensual day ..because I was also reading tarot cards for women concerning questions about their sex lives and exploring their own sexuality..it was a day full of feminine sexuality. A nice break from all the male sexuality promoted all over social media.. feminine sexuality it so nurturing vs male sexuality that can be so aggressive.

The city I live in is very prudish… me writing about my own sexuality, spiritual sexuality or sacred sex..and women’s sexuality is taboo.. If I was ugly, unhappily married and had a PHD well that would be acceptable LOL..because I wouldn’t be sexually intimidating or threatening… silly I know..but this is a retirement community. I just found out today that Sears stopped carrying women’s thong panties because the seniors don’t like to see them in the store! Seriously! They don’t carry my favorite Jessica thong pantie anymore!

I knew the woman who was working at the Adult Store.. we got into a conversation about how and when Kelowna became so repressed, uptight and prudish. It was in the mid 1980s when they got rid of the Regatta, the Flinstone’s theme park and the roller rink.. they started to build condos for the seniors, or the rich that retired early.. everything became about wineries and golf.. The male employee called it ” The end of fun ” OMG he was so right.. Kelowna is so uptight. With attempting to network my book in a prejudiced networking community,  that acts like being prudish and sexually repressed is professional.. I have found the repression put on me to be stifling!  I have had to work very hard on my own internal dialog not to take on the sexual shaming that they put onto me by saying things like ” She is unprofessional and inappropriate ” because I write about sex..and I am topless in my book.. I have had to work really hard at maintaining my sexual energy through their projections..

The sexual energy is called SHAKTI ..it is the primal force that created and creates the UNIVERSE..basically it can be described as the essence of the GODDESS..so if a woman wants to keep this energy flowing..her creative juices..her life force.. her connection to the universe or her own Divinity..while she is without a partner she must self pleasure..often.. scientifically; through the lens of biology it keeps her healthy .. healthy mentally as well..as orgasms fight depression by flooding the body and brain with feel good hormones.

I also think that a woman who keeps her sexual spark alive while waiting for the right partner.. keeps bitterness at bay. A Goddess isn’t bitter or dried up.. she keeps her body and spirit connected through pleasure. My pleasure today was though chocolate, new toys, and shopping for new panties.. the erotic movie that I bought is erotica made for women by a woman.. it was pretty good..comparing it to porn made for male viewers.. the sex scenes were empowering vs degrading to women.. Goddess sexuality is empowering ..the Shakti energy is EMPOWERING…

Shakti (Sanskrit pronunciation: [ˈʃʌktɪ]) (Devanagariशक्ति; from Sanskrit shak, “to be able”), meaning “Power” or “empowerment,” is the primordial cosmic energy and represents the dynamic forces that are thought to move through the entire universe in Hinduism.[1] Shakti is the concept, or personification, of divine feminine creative power, sometimes referred to as ‘The Great Divine Mother’ in Hinduism. On the earthly plane, Shakti most actively manifests through female embodiment and creativity/fertility, though it is also present in males in its potential, unmanifest form.[2]

Not only is Shakti responsible for creation, it is also the agent of all change. Shakti is cosmic existence as well as liberation, its most significant form being the KundaliniShakti,[3] a mysterious psychospiritual force.[4] Shakti exists in a state of svātantrya, dependence on no one, being interdependent with the entire universe.

It’s a man’s world

 

Oh will you look at that.. he has the world in his hat..modeling his Hugo Boss.. what man.. he can do whatever wants because he has a dick in his pants..

Look at that virility in a beard set up and out for all to see .. to resemble what lives between his knees.. it’s just so huge, big and pompous .. such a cocky .. cock..

You gotta love them.. it’s all about them.. their Hockey Night in Canada.. dudes just strutting their stuff.. a metaphor what lies between their thighs..

It’s a man’s world..

Just forget about equal pay and equal wage.. not when he has the stage and he can parade his dick in so many ways..but he will say he is about women’s rights..but in truth you can see by the way he lives his life..

It’s a man’s world..

He has got Play Boy on his mind.. he’s got he world at is feet and a babe by his side.. and he will not settle down because there so much to fuck.. and he can do what he wants to do because..

It’s man’s world..

Yes girls.. he will throw you a bone ( get it ) throw it from his table on high.. were he rules supreme for all to see how sexual and masculinity is worshiped and glorified; but women must hide their sexuality because..

It’s a man’s world..

Oh yes he is about helping females out.. when it comes to words and small gestures but really it amounts to just helping himself out .. to look like he cares about someone else but himself..

It’s a man’s world..

Lets just go have a beer..watch some strippers but pretend that we don’t support this sexist society ..but let’s watch male sports.. and support only what brings in money and it’s not the honey’s..

It’s a man’s world..

They pretend to give way.. they pretend to sway.. to listen to the girls and what they say..but only after they have had to fight their own way.. then they have to play..

It’s a man’s world..

You can see their full of shit.. and they just bullshit.. because when the chips are down.. and they are gambling.. there are no women at the table.. unless they are bringing them a beer..

It’s a man’s world..

Girls were  just thrown the odd bone.. and we lap it up ( get it ) and we suck up.. because it’s all that we are given.. crumbs and leftovers fallen from the bounty of man’s world.

It’s man’s world..

Don’t be fooled girls.. don’t be fooled as words are easy to say..and charities are games to play.. and all the world is a stage in.. A man’s world.

Entrepreneur .. what I learned about failure

 

 

 

I have failed in attempting to promote my book in my home town of Kelowna BC Canada..

The first thing I learned …what I am made of; I am very tenacious, resilient, and determined. I went through incredible hardships doing my best to bash through social prejudice, sexism and bigotry put upon women’s sexuality. I learned that I am pretty strong.

I don’t think my approach would of mattered. Given the subject matter of the book; given that I am topless in the photography and that I candidly wrote about women’s sexuality and used my own sexuality in the book as an example.. I don’t think I could of approached anyone differently in my community .. or by approaching them differently would I have seen other results. By what I have been through I can see by a couple of years experience that these prejudices and sexisms are very well established in our society.. and they are..

1. To be taken seriously as a professional don’t publish topless images of yourself. But it’s ok to publish them of other women if that is your profession

2. You must have a degree to be taken seriously

4. You must know someone or many people within the professional and arts community to be given any help or press releases

5. You must be a part of a networking click to be acceptable

6. To talk about, write about, be about your sexuality as a woman, you are asking for harassment, bullying and to be shut out.

I failed by not knowing my society. I failed because I was childish in my perspective of others. I failed because I underestimated how conservative and repressed my local society is.

Looking back at what I know now; I wouldn’t of even attempted to retain some ground or a speaking platform in my city. I wouldn’t of put myself through such grief, pain and suffering.

I would simply of kept my work online and kept myself away from all of the ignorance.

I was given a wonderful opportunity from Chapters in Kelowna to have my book put in the local authors section. But looking back now, now, that none of them sold since the book signing and so the contract has been cancelled..but looking back now I wouldn’t of even attempted that.. as Kelowna is clearly not my market.

I know that if I did become successful by chance by promoting my book online; Kelowna would fully accept me..but I will not be accepted by Kelowna in any other way..

So the biggest lesson was to know my market.. but I honestly couldn’t of foreseen the intense prejudice in Kelowna without having directly experienced it myself..and it truly does blow my mind.

I have learned how naive and unsophisticated I am .. I was like a child in creating my book and dream.. like a child in expecting that I had equal rights..that I actually had freedom of expression as an artist in the first world.. instead I found that I dredged up what was at the very undercurrents of western society..and that is we haven’t really come that far at all since the 1950s as far as equality and women’s rights ..or for the rights of minorities in general..

I have learned this is truly why my book is needed..and why a new organization or society needs to take up root..so that we can truly live in our supposed freedoms and equalities ..

Even though I am sad at my failure and that I haven’t experienced any form of success in Kelowna.. I am proud of myself for working as hard as I have worked at it over the last couple of years..

By God what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger..and you sure learn.

 

Purchase my book The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine off Amazon.ca

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I Dream of Buddha

I have had a very difficult few days promoting my book online. I have been called many names, and I have learned of lies and gossip spread about me; and I have learned of those believing the lies instead of listening to the truth. I have been directly contacted and told by some how horrible I am. How I am pretty but it is a shame that I am so negative. I am negative for telling the truth about those who have discriminated against me. I have been told I am an unhappy person in denial by those in denial of the truth of their own behaviors, actions/in-actions towards me. Many allow the discrimination by turning a blind eye to it, because to admit that it is happening would mean they would have to do something about it. They don’t want to help me because it would disrupt their comfort and positions in society..

I experienced a huge range of emotions.. from hopelessness, sorrow, shock, anger and then my in my conscious defense ( humor ) humor to fight the ignorance and stupidity.

Last night before falling asleep I asked the Universe or the Divine for a dream to help guide me or to help me.. this is called lucid dreaming. I have been able to lucid dream since I was a child; but I am not always answered by the Divine or Universal Energy.. but I was last night.. I am finding as my struggle with society begins to become even more heated that I feel the presence of the I AM.. with me directly. The dream I had last night almost feels miraculous ….

” I sat still and motionless on the lily pad.. I was the small green fog. I was still within the pod.. I floated without effort..I was the lily pad. I quietly opened to the sun..as my petals peeled back one by one and my fragrance filled the air.. I was the lily. The light breathed through me.. I carried it with in me.. I was the air. I burned my warmth forth without effort.. I was the sun. I looked within.. I was in everything; I wasn’t trying, I just was.. the Buddha.” ~ The Dream

I hope you can see the beautiful humility in the words. Humility is the greatest force of The Divine.. it is only through humility that we find the God/Goddess within us. It is only through humility that we are able to see through or own egos and the egos of others..

The Buddha didn’t speak to me but spoke through me and through the peace of tranquility .. The Buddha carried both the masculine and the feminine in my dream… this represented balance again..or the still center. In my dream the Buddha was blue.. this is the color of truth.. and the Buddha was showing me it’s eye wide open.. it was the color of tropical waters or turquoise.. the spiritual meaning of turquoise is peace.. meditation, mediation, protection, comfort, calm, stillness, healing.. turquoise is the color of basic truth and deep wisdom.

The Buddha was telling me that I am dealing with ego’s that are steeped in illusions .. My society and all society is mesh of illusions projected by ego.. the emotions of these egos.. or their projected perceptions of how they see themselves and how they see the world is being projected onto me..as they attempt to label me to fit me into their illusions. I am provoking their response by not allowing myself or them to tangle me up in their illusions.. to be my truth or the truth is highly offensive to them..as their illusions give them great comfort, status, wealth or prestige in society..the only way for them to find Nirvana was for the Buddha to find Nirvana.. by seeking only the truth past illusion or ego..

If I were to accept their illusion.. I would be crushed by it.. as they seem to have to put me into the victim role for them to excuse themselves from their own dysfunctional attitudes and behavior… and that has been denial of their own egos..

And so it is that I find Nirvana.. by seeing the truth.. for truth ..by the stillness and humility of internal balance.. meditation.. by being the Buddha within all things..

And so it is that this dream brought me peace, protection, tranquility..and the power to keep being the truth.

{ 3 things cannot be hidden long;

The sun

The moon

The truth } ~~ Buddha

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