Posts Tagged ‘Rae Stonehouse OVES’

Contemplating my bad


Mentally reviewing the last 3 years attempting to network my book in my local community.. I realize my bad was dramatically reacting to their bad.. but of course I didn’t know what I didn’t know.. and that is what I know now…and it’s that I wouldn’t ever be accepted or be welcomed in their house of belonging due to the subject matter of my book ” Women’s sexuality ” Even though my book is tasteful and factual.. even though it is artistic and intellectual.. although very amateurish.. I wouldn’t ever of been accepted into their polished, conservative perspectives.. as they are comfortable in doing things the way they always have done them.. and I had no idea that the art culture in Kelowna and area.. are to support professionalism.. vs professionalism supporting the arts.. or any form of balance between the two. I had no idea of the fact that the people who create the culture in Kelowna, through the arts they decide to promote or show.. through the networking groups and organizations that they have created and run.. are groups and organizations based upon professional conservatism ..and that they are subject to their perspectives of good clean family values or MORALS.

My bad or my fault was to keep trying to break down their barriers and prejudices.. my fault was to keep trying to break through their walls and to try to change them after I had realized they all held the same views and they were not going to change them. Yes what they did and how they do things is wrong.. it is black and white..if you profess to include everyone in your groups and organizations..but exclude me due to the subject matter of women’s sexuality that is sexism..that is prejudice and that is black and white.. WRONG..But by me getting beside myself with anger and frustration.. with that anger and frustration turning inward inside of me lead to suicidal thoughts a year ago ( I am doing really well now thanks ) but by allowing them that room in my mind, and heart they had won..and it gave them an excuse to call me crazy and a drama queen.. it gave them an excuse as a individuals.. to keep excluding never let me not allow me to network in their groups or have speaking platform.. because of my emotions.. me attempting to hold them accountable on my blog by writing about every experience .. it made them feel justified.. so the did win. I should of realized that it was a battle that I couldn’t win after loosing so many rounds in the fight.. I should of seen it was draining.. sucking my vitality and life force.. it was taking away my I was starting to see myself through their eyes.. I should of just walked off that battle field and realized not a single one of them was ever worth it.. that belonging or being accepted by them wasn’t ever worth loosing my sense of self over.. I should of seen much earlier that they wouldn’t ever be my audience.. because they are afraid of change.. even though they peach change and equality.. even though they go on and on about authenticity and having the courage to be different and follow your dreams.. I should of seen much sooner that these were just words of self promotion.. but I didn’t know, then what I know now.. now that I have watched that I have gotten to know their patterns of make believe personas .. I sure wish I knew then what I know now..  but I am headstrong…and sometimes being headstrong can be a double edged can make you tough..but also it can make you blind to your own stubborn.. and gawd I am that.

I have a temper and righteous anger.. but now I know how to spot them because they all sound the same.. the all run in the same circles and all spout the same self-righteous crap. I can see the arrogance they think they can do no wrong..and they have the power in numbers to keep their delusion of grandeur. But my bad was believing it.. comparing myself to them.. feeling like I don’t measure up because I don’t have the qualification or the professional experience that they all seem to have..but I have learned that most of their qualifications are hyped up bullshit.. my bad was not seeing it sooner.

The truth is I was and still am, their mirror.. a mirror that doesn’t work through the lens of their own rose colored glasses..but a mirror that shows them their lies and prejudices.. a mirror that shows them the truth…and that is ” Same as it ever was.. same as it ever was.” and it will always be the same old..for them..and that’s exactly why they don’t want to let me in or anyone else in that doesn’t communicate or network with in the frames of their comfort levels.. because they are afraid …

And there is my bad again..I didn’t understand it was really their fear and really didn’t have much to do with me.. change is a painful process..that they don’t want to face.

If there ever is a similar circumstance in my life again.. I walking away sooner.. I not going to fight battles I cannot win when I could change my strategy and change what I can.. I will accept much sooner..what I cannot not change.


As I watched this video of Kelowna Society become totally undone.. I found myself freed of all the mental confusion due to their prejudices put on me because of my blog and website.. I found their exclusion to be a blessing in disguise. They don’t like my topless pictures; they don’t like my frank talk about women’s issues and sexuality.. or the frankness about how religion has repressed women.. and the flaky spiritual circles in Kelowna don’t want to include womb worship or Goddess Sexuality in their teachings.. but the point is this..after watching this video ..seeing them ignorantly attempt to get Oprah’s attention to bring her into The Okanagan Valley.. I came to the conclusion that they are all suffering from some form of mass hysteria caused by ” Look at me syndrome ” You really should watch this video.. it’s in shocking poor taste.. They wear wigs to mimic Oprah’s hair gets worse at the end.. really bad. In one part the owner of a well known resort calls her ” African Queen” a total racial slur.. he says he will treat her like the African Queen she is ..while wearing a wig that mimics her hair style..but it gets even better.. she is propositioned by a gigolo wearing a wig .. offering himself up to her shirtless in a bed..  I was dumb struck watching the video the first time..but then after that I began to laugh.. I laughed at how ridiculous and absurd all these so called professionals were.. including the then mayor of Kelowna.. I laughed because I knew by being told by Lori herself..that her comedy partner had bailed on her due to the poor taste of Lori’s comedy..because Lori loves to make other look bad to make her look good..and I saw that happen in this video..I laughed because I watched another video of Lori doing a video of the voice message that Lisa left her…telling Lori what a piece of shit she is..and telling Lori to go fuck herself..I laughed because there was total truth to that.. and I wished I had done it .. I laughed because Lori doesn’t know how true it is..I laughed and I laughed at how Lori got all the big wigs in Kelowna Society to look like total morons ( wearing wigs )..and they did it for a moment of fame.. it’s just so circus/circus .. oh yes..their monkey’s their circus.. for the ” Look at me syndrome ” that caused their mass hysteria ..and then I laughed some more when my 13 year old daughter said.. ” Mommy could you image how funny it would be if they did a video of Oprah’s reaction of her watching this video? Now that would go viral!” And then I laughed some more outside in the playground as I showed some other common sense parents the video.. OMG they had the same reaction that I did ” WTF did we just watch.. lets watch that part again with the gigolo and were he calls her African Queen.. OMG were they seriously thinking this was funny and Oprah Winfrey would want to come here and hang with those jerks?”

But then I explained to them how much better it made me feel.. not having the same opportunities to network in the groups they all network I didn’t just dodge a bullet.. I dodged an entire Valley of dumbass.. And we laughed..and laughed ..and I felt myself become light.. and I lighten-up for the first time in along, long time..and the it dawned on me how blessed and lucky I am not to have been put into the same space as these people.. and I saw for the first time that they must be jealous of me..that I really stand for something other than just my own ego..and society bullshit.. And then I was reminded that my book and it’s message are so much bigger than the crap in this valley..

But my daughter made a good point..she said ” Mom .. Kelowna is so pretty…and there are so many good people here..but that video makes us all look like morons.” ( outta the mouth’s of babes )

Lori’s last video addressed to Ellen Degeneres wasn’t much better…it was along the same lines of poor taste and classlessness she goes topless in front of the mayor at City a professional setting .. saying she is for the issue of Free The Nipple.. that is about women going topless were men can go topless ( Lori doesn’t actually go topless.).. Lori mocks the issue the difference with this video is that Lori obviously bought views and dragged in all her media contacts to duplicate and splice the video .. she was media wise this time.. lots of her elder followers don’t realize how this works on YouTube .. most of her views are fraudulent… and it amazes me how she can drag so called professional and local politicians into her media frenzy for fame? It has to be some sorta madness.. it’s just so crazy.

But I have learned.. if it doesn’t kill you by-god it teaches you..and I learned about society.. I learned about how many in Kelowna will tell you to ” go break a leg” and actually mean it..” If breaking your leg gets me famous.. I will break your fricken leg bitch.” but it’s so funny..because for what? It put everything right back into perspective for me.. it made me see what a small fishbowl the valley really is..and it made me aware of how small and ignorant some people’s thinking is in this valley.. and also it made me feel ” What a pity it’s such a beautiful piece of land..and there are many great non-society types that live in the valley” ..and ” Let’s hope Colin ..the current mayor of Kelowna doesn’t fall for this bullshit.. he seems to be a classy stay classy Colin”

But the point of this that I let go of what was weighing me down.. I really don’t give a shit about their groups..they are all bullshit..and I never needed them anyway.. I am blessed to have had them leave me out..and deny me access..their prejudices worked in my favor.. I cannot imagine hanging out with people that slimy LOL.. gawd it’s funny now!

So I am free

Kelowna’s networking

If you want to fly you have to give up the shit that weighs you down


In the Tibetan Book of the Dead.. the spirit goes through a series of test before it can be rebirthed.. the major tests are fear and temptation. I realize now through my latest experience with a person from Kelowna’s upper society..or networking groups ( clicks ) that this has been my has been a diversion or temptation; fear keeping me from placing all of my energy towards my book.. towards my passions for women’s equality… their bullshit, their fake world hasn’t really held me back at all.. but I have let them by allowing their illusions of success and popularity..become my mental conflict. I have let their rejection of me rule my emotions and thoughts.. I have allowed the temptation of their circus to pull me in to their dramas.. their politics.. their sugar coated lies.

I  realize now that I don’t want anything to do with these people. I cannot talk out of both sides of my face.. I am not a bullshitting, ass kisser. I am too honest and too open to network with any of them..because to them networking means manipulating each other. So now I see why they don’t want me to show up to their events because I am the one without the mask on..and I will be the contrast that will cause them to have to give up the disguises. And I cannot be bothered. I really have gotten to the point were I don’t give a shit. I realize now I didn’t write my book for that I have gotten to really know these see their patterns of social behaviors of dripping in bullshit. I know my book and message are to real for them. I am too real for them..and they don’t deserve my presence at their events.. yup they are right I am too damn real to listen in the back to sugary shit and not say it’s sugary shit. I am going to point out the elephant in the room.. I am going to be me.. I am not what they want an will not pretend to be what other’s want;  like they do.

They will get as far as the Okanagan Valley.. or area.. that’s it..because their idea of networking and business ( bullshitting ) doesn’t speak to the entire message does. I realize now what a waste of time they all have been. I realize now that I shouldn’t feel sad at all.. even when the art’s community rejected me..because it’s just the business community’s just conservative bullshit..I don’t want anything to do with their gray cardboard art..fuck, I don’t want to compare my work to that shit.

I don’t want the flaky spirituality.. I think their ideals of being positive only are just more sugar coated shit. These people don’t want real, vulnerable or authentic..they just like the way those words sound.. they don’t walk their talk.. I do and that is why I am such a threat to them.. well good. I will not grace you with my presence or my pretty face and heart because you don’t deserve it..and I don’t deserve your backstabbing and gossiping, two faced crap.

What I need to do is let you be in your swill.. in your fancy swill.. it’s really just swill after they say ” Don’t cast your pearls upon swine ” But thanks for the lesson..thanks for giving me the fuel to be reborn and transformed.. for making it perfectly clear to me that I don’t want to be anything like you people..

I am going to concentrate my energy on my life’s purpose now.. I will leave you to grovel among each other for bullshit social status in a small town that the rest of the world doesn’t really give a damn about..because ” Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn.”

Entrepreneur .. what I learned about failure




I have failed in attempting to promote my book in my home town of Kelowna BC Canada..

The first thing I learned …what I am made of; I am very tenacious, resilient, and determined. I went through incredible hardships doing my best to bash through social prejudice, sexism and bigotry put upon women’s sexuality. I learned that I am pretty strong.

I don’t think my approach would of mattered. Given the subject matter of the book; given that I am topless in the photography and that I candidly wrote about women’s sexuality and used my own sexuality in the book as an example.. I don’t think I could of approached anyone differently in my community .. or by approaching them differently would I have seen other results. By what I have been through I can see by a couple of years experience that these prejudices and sexisms are very well established in our society.. and they are..

1. To be taken seriously as a professional don’t publish topless images of yourself. But it’s ok to publish them of other women if that is your profession

2. You must have a degree to be taken seriously

4. You must know someone or many people within the professional and arts community to be given any help or press releases

5. You must be a part of a networking click to be acceptable

6. To talk about, write about, be about your sexuality as a woman, you are asking for harassment, bullying and to be shut out.

I failed by not knowing my society. I failed because I was childish in my perspective of others. I failed because I underestimated how conservative and repressed my local society is.

Looking back at what I know now; I wouldn’t of even attempted to retain some ground or a speaking platform in my city. I wouldn’t of put myself through such grief, pain and suffering.

I would simply of kept my work online and kept myself away from all of the ignorance.

I was given a wonderful opportunity from Chapters in Kelowna to have my book put in the local authors section. But looking back now, now, that none of them sold since the book signing and so the contract has been cancelled..but looking back now I wouldn’t of even attempted that.. as Kelowna is clearly not my market.

I know that if I did become successful by chance by promoting my book online; Kelowna would fully accept me..but I will not be accepted by Kelowna in any other way..

So the biggest lesson was to know my market.. but I honestly couldn’t of foreseen the intense prejudice in Kelowna without having directly experienced it myself..and it truly does blow my mind.

I have learned how naive and unsophisticated I am .. I was like a child in creating my book and dream.. like a child in expecting that I had equal rights..that I actually had freedom of expression as an artist in the first world.. instead I found that I dredged up what was at the very undercurrents of western society..and that is we haven’t really come that far at all since the 1950s as far as equality and women’s rights ..or for the rights of minorities in general..

I have learned this is truly why my book is needed..and why a new organization or society needs to take up that we can truly live in our supposed freedoms and equalities ..

Even though I am sad at my failure and that I haven’t experienced any form of success in Kelowna.. I am proud of myself for working as hard as I have worked at it over the last couple of years..

By God what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger..and you sure learn.


Purchase my book The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine off

Follow me on Facebook and Youtube..and here on my blog.

Alice In Wonderland

Above is a link to Rae Stonehouse’s blog.. he was writing about me being a bully.

All of this started just over a year ago when I met the founder of Okanagan Valley Entrepreneur’s Society.. OVES.. His name is Joel Young.. anyway I met with him in the middle of the day with my 5 year old son at a nice little cafe.. while my son sat beside us at a very small round table .. while Joel Young proceeded to ask me over and over again if my father had fucked me ” Did your father fuck you? Is that why your so into sex? Do you want to get with some of my members? Is that why you want to join my society?” During the meeting I was shocked..and I was very hurt for my young son ( Thank God he doesn’t remember any of it).. through time my hurt turned to anger.. I went and looked at OVES facebook wall ..they claimed that any Entrepreneur was welcome to share their work and websites..and so I shared my link to their wall..

Rae Stone house let me know that my link was not appropriate..when I asked him by comment if it was because of what Joel Young thought of me..and about Joel Young’s sexual harassment this was his comment to me..


Interesting posting. I love a good rant and I appreciate your rising to my challenge of creating your own personal revolution.

However, as the Chair of the Board of Directors for OVES and the Administrator of this Facebook group, I am compelled to bring to your attention that this is not an appropriate post for this venue.

Your quarrel seems to be with Mr. Young. He is the Founder of OVES but he is not OVES. The views that an individual may or may not hold does not necessarily represent those of an organization that they belong to. I would suggest that you direct any further communications on this subject to him.

Should you continue in this manner I will be obligated to revoke your membership to this Facebook group.

Feel free to contact me personally if you believe that OVES is involved in some way by what you are ascertaining.

Rae Stonehouse

Chairman OVES Board of Directors”


I then attempted to contact him on twitter.. he told me I was harassing him..


Rae Stonehouse

3:17 PM (20 hours ago)


to Rapid, me

Ms. Ackerman,


Please be advised that I have consulted my lawyer,  as well as the RCMP in this matter.


I consider your actions towards me to be libelous and unwarranted. I also feel that your actions are hostile and threatening in nature.


I have registered a complaint with Twitter, Facebook & your webhost provider.


Please stop communicating with me or posting comments about me on the web in any way, shape or form.


Any further escalation on your part to malign me will necessitate me commencing formalized legal proceedings.


Rae Stonehouse




—–Original Message—–

From: Rapid Contact []

Sent: January-11-13 10:09 PM


I Have





I need to know if you will be sending me back the money that I spent on membership fees via your organizations website.. since you will not allow me to network through your society or organization due to your prejudice against my sexuality


Your receipt number for this payment is: 4558-7053-8835-7487. For Oves membership.





Rae Stonehouse


He sent this email to my web host..


Dear Sir,


I am writing to advise you of website that you are involved with and perhaps hosting is posting harassing, threatening language directed at me personally and organizations that I belong to.


The website I refer to is owned by a Gracie Ackerman


Your form doesn’t allow me to attach the content. She is also using Facebook & Twitter to harass me as well she is starting to stalk me. I am in the process of reporting her behaviour to those organizations.


I will be going to the RCMP this afternoon to file a peace bond. This message is to advise you that I would request that this content be immediately removed from her website. Should this not be done your business may be implicated should further legal actions be required.


If what I am requesting is not under your ability or responsibility to resolve, please advise and I will add it to my records.


Thank you for your attention to this matter.


Rae Stonehouse


and another one of his interesting emails.. to me attempting to contact him..




Since we are both keeping accurate records of our discussions with each other I would like to take this opportunity to set the record straight on a few matters.


1.      Re ,, << I need to know if you will be sending me back the money that I spent on membership fees via your organizations website.>>




Is this a statement or a question? Up until this message you have not asked if your money would be refunded. If you would like your money back based on your decision that you have changed your mind about being a member of the Okanagan Valley Entrepreneurs Society (OVES), I will issue you a refund via Paypal. Please confirm that you would like a refund.


2.      Re << .. since you will not allow me to network through your society or organization due to your prejudice against my sexuality>>



This assertion is a fabrication of your mind and is not based on any reality. You were unconnected from the OVES Facebook Group page by me, the Moderator, for what I deemed to be inappropriate content. I specifically outlined to you that this was not a venue to be attacking a member of the group and should you continue I would be obligated to rescind your membership to this group. I also suggested that you contact Joel Young to discuss your concerns and I offered the opportunity to speak to me. You chose not to.


Nowhere in my direction to you did I mention your website, your sexuality or the cause that you believe in. That was purely a projection of your thoughts. It would seem that I represent somebody that has stood up against you and it would appear that you have ascribed characteristics to me of others in your life. Since we have never met, nor have we spoken, both to the best of my knowledge, I fail to understand how you can create an entire persona about me. I don’t recognize the character description that you have created for me in your mind.


Any beliefs that you have about my prejudice against your sexuality and your belief that we are not allowing you to network through my [OVES] is purely a fabrication of your mind. Since we have never met, you yourself are prejudging me. As I said above, you are creating a fictional character about me.


For the record, you have not been banned, or prevented in any way, shape or form for participating as a member of OVES or attending our functions. If you choose not to remain a member you are welcome to attend OVES events at the same admission fee that we would charge a non-member.







I did put his one facebook comment up on my blog..but he has already posted the comment online it was already public knowledge..

Anyway.. after not including me on the email list when I paid for membership to OVES.. I had asked him on a facebook networking page why he was not sending me emails..twice I asked him..and even though he clearly has my personal email address..and he is in charge of this organization and seeing to the members of this organization.. he would not claim any responsibility in not sending me emails.. he decide to show me who was in control by sharing on a public networking page my home address.. as a single mother..this put me and my children at risk..Thank God have moved from this address or me and my children could have been at risk for a home invasion… given the subject matter of my website and my semi nude photography..we would have been at high risk..

Rae Stonehouse Gracie, since you persist with having conversations in public venues that should be private, the reason that you have not been receiving OVES promotional mailouts is that you had provided a bogus or no longer active email address. The following message to <> was undeliverable.

The reason for the problem:

5.1.0 – Unknown address error 550-“5.1.1 The email account that you tried to reach does not exist. Please try\n5.1.1 double-checking the recipient’s email address for typos or\n5.1.1 unnecessary spaces. Learn more at\n5.1.1 yu7si19344632pac.44 – gsmtp” Please confirm that this is your valid mailing address and I will cheerfully issue you a full refund: 820 A Quigley Rd V1X 1A8


In the above post from his blog…he writes about how he thinks I am crazy…

I feel like Alice in Wonderland.