Posts Tagged ‘Prejudice’

Kelowna Culture in Retrospect-fades to grey

 

When I moved to Kelowna BC from the small town of Armstrong BC, just an hour and a half away I thought it would be a city full of opportunity for me as an artist/writer/activist and on a personal level as a newly divorced, broken hearted single mother; I might find a new love.

I had always wanted to write my book; even as a small child I was accutely aware of the double standards, violence and sexism against women. I thought the Goddess or Wonder Woman was and still is a empowering archetype towards empowering women and girls. The main reason behind my book was to show that women and men could both be strong, emotional, compassionate and that both the sexes could strive towards true justice and equality. As a very small child raised in a strict christian household, I was still a wise old soul whom saw past the shame and sin placed on sexuality as unfounded and just silly. I would prance naked around my repressed mother as she squacked and clucked at me for my sinful nature with glee and mischeif. I just knew that logically the shame placed on sexuality and the body was unnatural not sex and sexuality.

Anyways upon moving to Kelowna and writing, producing the goddess photography or photographs of me as many goddesses, upon designing and publishing my website and blog, I was continually shocked at how the arts council and at how the leaders of Kelowna’s culture treated me as a second class citizen. I was not allowed to join in networking groups, I was not given the press release that the art’s council promised me. I was not allowed to show my book or other art in galleries or other art exhibits. I was not heard by Colin Basran, he called me to tell me there was nothing he could do about the outright prejudice and discrimination placed upon me by the leaders of Kelown’s cultural networking organizations. He told me he could not make people include me. I was made of mockery of by Laurie Welborn who’s name came up on our phone conversation. She did a video of the topless issue after pretending to be my friend off and on Facebook, it was obvious online bullying and even after she made the videos she then asked me to my face if I felt suicidal. During this time I was also harassed out of Brett Wilson’s gym by his female manager a close friend of Laurie’s, because I was told my online profile or my writing about the discrimination, sexuall harssment, sexual discrimination and women’s sexuality was a threat to Brett Wilson’s reputation. The Mayor of Kelowna was made aware of all these facts yet because I was not wealthy or well connected I simply didn’t matter to Kelowna’s socieity or culture. If I had, had a Batchelor of the Arts or other degrees I would probably of been given some credibility, but I am self taught, a natural talent, self read, self motivated, self starter and well studied and well read on my own; but in Kelowna this holds no credibility. In Kelowna’s culture of wealth and social status I was invisible. I was a minority I was an annoyance to the wealthy and connected that wanted and that wants to manipulate and mold Kelowna’s culture as they see fit; like Colin Basran, the wealthy and highly connected Cipes family and the private owners of KelownaNow. I was purposefully shut out of and silenced from Kelowna’s culture as a threat towards Kelowna’s professional and pristeen tourist orientated brand. Kelowna’s culuture has become a tourist brand. I was made invisible by sexual prejudice, ignorance and going by Laurie’s videos.. hate.

Looking in retrospect at Kelowna’s culture; it is culture based on wealth and the accumulation of wealth; as Kelowna tried to paint me over with shades of grey to make me invisible as a part from the culture or IMAGE they wish to create and brand, Kelowna is grey or bland in it’s culture as it steals from other cultures what it feels is culturally safe and acceptable- but isn’t this just the Canadian way of the arts in general? What is Canadian culture but a washed out version of American or US culture? And we wonder why Candian artist can’t make a go of it in Canada?

I was the biggest feminist in Kelowna but Kelowna effectively phased me out by overwhelming me and my children through me by it’s overt prejudice towards me. But my children and I are slowly loosing our Kelowna Culture wash; my kids are not feeling the need to be overly competative or to dress to impress others, and I am finding peace and solitude in the countryside. It is all slowly fading to grey.

I learned that I never needed to be in Kelowna to pursue my arts and feminist activism and that I would never of met anyone in that culture due to how they would be washed by that culture into seeing me through prejudice. I learned that I am unique and special, special enought to stand out from the crowd and make it on my own an on my own terms..and by make it, I mean being me and doing what I love. I can share and educate here through my own creations.

Contemplating my bad

 

Mentally reviewing the last 3 years attempting to network my book in my local community.. I realize my bad was dramatically reacting to their bad.. but of course I didn’t know what I didn’t know.. and that is what I know now…and it’s that I wouldn’t ever be accepted or be welcomed in their house of belonging due to the subject matter of my book ” Women’s sexuality ” Even though my book is tasteful and factual.. even though it is artistic and intellectual.. although very amateurish.. I wouldn’t ever of been accepted into their polished, conservative perspectives.. as they are comfortable in doing things the way they always have done them.. and I had no idea that the art culture in Kelowna and area.. are to support professionalism.. vs professionalism supporting the arts.. or any form of balance between the two. I had no idea of the fact that the people who create the culture in Kelowna, through the arts they decide to promote or show.. through the networking groups and organizations that they have created and run.. are groups and organizations based upon professional conservatism ..and that they are subject to their perspectives of good clean family values or MORALS.

My bad or my fault was to keep trying to break down their barriers and prejudices.. my fault was to keep trying to break through their walls and to try to change them after I had realized they all held the same views and they were not going to change them. Yes what they did and how they do things is wrong.. it is black and white..if you profess to include everyone in your groups and organizations..but exclude me due to the subject matter of women’s sexuality that is sexism..that is prejudice and that is black and white.. WRONG..But by me getting beside myself with anger and frustration.. with that anger and frustration turning inward inside of me ..to lead to suicidal thoughts a year ago ( I am doing really well now thanks ) but by allowing them that room in my mind, and heart they had won..and it gave them an excuse to call me crazy and a drama queen.. it gave them an excuse as a group..as individuals.. to keep excluding me..to never let me in..to not allow me to network in their groups or have speaking platform.. because of my emotions.. me attempting to hold them accountable on my blog by writing about every experience .. it made them feel justified.. so the did win. I should of realized that it was a battle that I couldn’t win after loosing so many rounds in the fight.. I should of seen it was draining.. sucking my vitality and life force.. it was taking away my confidence..as I was starting to see myself through their eyes.. I should of just walked off that battle field and realized not a single one of them was ever worth it.. that belonging or being accepted by them wasn’t ever worth loosing my sense of self over.. I should of seen much earlier that they wouldn’t ever be my audience.. because they are afraid of change.. even though they peach change and equality.. even though they go on and on about authenticity and having the courage to be different and follow your dreams.. I should of seen much sooner that these were just words of self promotion.. but I didn’t know, then what I know now.. now that I have watched them..now that I have gotten to know their patterns of make believe personas .. I sure wish I knew then what I know now..  but I am headstrong…and sometimes being headstrong can be a double edged sword..it can make you tough..but also it can make you blind to your own stubborn.. and gawd I am that.

I have a temper and righteous anger.. but now I know how to spot them because they all sound the same.. the all run in the same circles and all spout the same self-righteous crap. I can see the arrogance ..as they think they can do no wrong..and they have the power in numbers to keep their delusion of grandeur. But my bad was believing it.. comparing myself to them.. feeling like I don’t measure up because I don’t have the qualification or the professional experience that they all seem to have..but I have learned that most of their qualifications are hyped up bullshit.. my bad was not seeing it sooner.

The truth is I was and still am, their mirror.. a mirror that doesn’t work through the lens of their own rose colored glasses..but a mirror that shows them their lies and prejudices.. a mirror that shows them the truth…and that is ” Same as it ever was.. same as it ever was.” and it will always be the same old..for them..and that’s exactly why they don’t want to let me in or anyone else in that doesn’t communicate or network with in the frames of their comfort levels.. because they are afraid …

And there is my bad again..I didn’t understand it was really their fear and ignorance..it really didn’t have much to do with me.. change is a painful process..that they don’t want to face.

If there ever is a similar circumstance in my life again.. I walking away sooner.. I not going to fight battles I cannot win when I could change my strategy and change what I can.. I will accept much sooner..what I cannot not change.

Obsessed

 

I am obsessed with my dream and trying to find away through these impasses .. obstacles.. trying with all my might to find the right strategy.. but I am stuck. Tonight I have been watching George Stromboulopoulos’s interviews with multiple different successful celebrities .. trying to learn through them, from their experiences..their climb.. to see how doors opened for them. I am learning that it is simply a matter of fate, timing and life experiences, talents and tenacity that brings them to their victories or revolutionary fame or successes.. success not just being monetary but also and more importantly making a huge difference in the world. I still don’t have the answer. I still don’t have any open doors.. I just don’t.

I don’t have community; I don’t have a platform to speak from.. I have no opportunity as of yet to be heard or noticed.. I have directly the opposite. I have been shunned from professional organizations; I have been shunned from my local arts community.. there isn’t any Government funding or help or organization to help me. I don’t know anyone that knows anyone. Most of all I have been labeled over and over again as crazy for speaking out about the prejudices and inequalities put on me because I am woman without ( proper qualifications ) writing about women’s sexuality.. it’s like I am not allowed to break those rules.. these invisible rules.. that I needed the education’s systems qualifications to write about sex as a woman still in her sexual prime and single .. ( being single and not married as a woman writing about sex and sexuality is a taboo) ” I mean who knew right? Who fucking knew that?” Did you know that? I didn’t know that until I did that..and now I am a crazy for doing that..seems it was social suicide. Because I was supposed to have a PHD.. and have male approval by a husband or a boyfriend to write about sex and sexuality to be socially acceptable and to be given validity .. did you know that? Not only that but I shouldn’t be so sexy writing about sexuality..being single and unmarried because that makes me a threat.. because it makes me seductive and manipulative..because I am obviously ( according to society ) using my sexuality without a licence.. isn’t that just fucked up? But that is what is happening.. yup.. it’s happening..

I am not supposed to talk about it in public because I don’t have the proper qualifications..so when I do and people find out I don’t have the proper qualifications.. it means I am a target for abuse. Like being told that I am a threat to a gym’s reputation .. that I scare people..because I am just too much.. too open.. too different.. I am just too different..and I am doing something too different and revolutionary or controversial.

People don’t like it when you challenge their stupid rules or taboos .. people don’t like change even if is for the better… like leading women out of sexual repression by living outside of the box or the sexual repression by the expression of my sexuality..showing by leading how to do it.. ( sounds so simple..but people are even simpler) saying that very slowly as I type it very slowly read it slowly if you don’t get it..because there are some hateful .. prejudiced people ( lots of them ) that read my blog to leave hateful messages because they cannot grasp the concepts.. they can read that even slower.. they can read this several times but still not pick up on the meaning in the words and vocabulary.. but this is the great part.. they find my spelling mistakes..but not grasp anything else..

Ohhhhhhh *sigh* so how do I create a strategy that can jump, climb over.. under or through this ignorance? Ignorance.. IGNORANCE.. the biggest ..widest.. meanest…nastiest .. barrier of all..

Because you can be rational.. factual.. intellectual.. but you just cannot help people upgrade on how to conceptualize or activate more gray matter.

 

 

Do something every day that scares you…..

 

I am once again showing my readers my journey.. my journey through promoting my book in my local community and in general. I was told by the kind PR specialist from New York to document this letter..and my experience today.. it keeps people honest..and many of my readers and online followers try to give me advice as to how to go about promoting myself.. as you can see I am doing everything that you and I can possibly think of doing.. contacting my local paper and radio stations ..all who have ignored me and or even go so far as to locking me out of their facebook pages.. having the manager of my local radio station 99.9 SunFm ” Mark” call me last spring to tell me that I was not allowed to comment on their facebook page..and that was why I was locked out of it..

Anyway.. I just sent this letter. He hasn’t had time to respond.. yet .. just went through this today..as usual it is very difficult for me to face people and to keep attempting to reach out to my local arts community..but here is to ” Smiling in the face of fear”.. here is ” Mud in your eye”..

 

Hi Mr. Leblanc

My name is Gracie Ackerman; I am a local artist and writer. I am the most controversial artist in Kelowna to date. I suppose it could be something to be proud of..given how unique my work is, but it is proving to be very difficult to promote my work in Kelowna due to religious prejudice.
I was just at the Rotary today; buying a ticket for the Comic Strippers tonight. I stopped and talked to Donna Lee and Lucas who works for the Alternator about the center helping me promote my book signing coming up at Chapters Book Store..here in Kelowna BC. I was asking that my book could just be exhibited and that I could advertise the book signing as a local artist/writer in our local arts center..but Donna Lee told me.. outright that she was not comfortable with my book or with displaying my book due to her religious beliefs. I asked her to repeat herself several times to me in front of Lucas.. and she did. I just couldn’t believe my ears..but at least this time it was being said to my face.. as I have been shown through discrimination tactics that Kelowna’s art world and society thinks and behaves in these prejudiced manners.
I had tons of trouble with Lynda Norman as well ..from Association of Arts for Creative Alliance.. I write about that on my blog..
If my book does hit mainstream media..it will be a damn shame that my own city wouldn’t give me an artistic platform to stand on.. that I am and was outright discriminated against due to people’s religious dogma.. How is this promoting or up holding the arts?
Donna Lee also said that she didn’t want young children seeing my book. I told her she could leave it out of reach and put it up at adult eye level.. although as I walked through the gallery I could see many paintings of nudes???
Below is my query letter that I am sending out to agents. I have had a very well known PR specialist from New York contact me.. I re-did my entire front web page..by his specifications..I think it is because of him that I was able to get a book signing at Chapters..he is helping me by giving me names of agents.

What makes my book different ?.. it is an authentic and realistic approach to spirituality, women’s sexuality and sacred sexuality.

 

How will it help humanity? Women’s sexuality has become lost in a plastic and pornographic world. We are sold one ideal of beauty that enslaves men and women towards constantly buying into an unattainable sexuality that inhibits true intimacy for both the sexes..not only does it inhibit true intimacy between couples but it causes us as individuals to lack intimacy and true love with the self. My book does have full color photographs using myself as the model to express the Goddess.. the book was completely created by women.. I created the concept, wrote the book and choreographed the photography and costumes.. and I employed female photographers to help me create the images.. I used my own money, talent and connections ( spiritual and otherwise ) ..meaning the book was completely created by the feminine for the feminine.. in a

way that no man could possibly conceptualize. The images are raw..they are natural and hardly touched up..as they are to show the true beauty of the natural, authentic sexuality of all women through me. I am not a typical model. I am considered short and chubby by media standards..but by the ancient archetypes of Goddess art.. I am a Goddess, as are all women.. The book will help humanity by bring back natural beauty, intimacy with the self and with couples..the book will help dissolve the shame heaped onto women who express and live freely in their bodies and sexuality..this book is the shift..an awakening..and evolution in human consciousness.

 

“”"How have I promoted my work? I have self published through a BalboaPress a division of Hayhouse. I have my own website and blog www.sexassacred.com that I use to promote the book. My blog is an authentic journey ..the journey of my own life ..trying to promote my book in my city that is very Christian/Conservative..that sees my work as witchcraft,evil and shameful..but the positive to this journey is that it is the story of “The underdog” I have many fans and readers who support me in my cause..people from all walks of life from all over the world..men and women..strait and gay.. ranging from the ages of 17 to 99. I also have a youtube channel..were I sing, dance and give advice. I am on twitter, instagram, linkedin,google.. etc… I have just landed a book signing at Chapters/Indigo Books in my city.

 

I understand that you have stated that you don’t publish full color photography books or poetry books..this book is much more than that..it is like nothing you have ever seen before..I am having trouble submitting to publishing houses because it doesn’t neatly fit into categories..but this is what makes it so special..and this is why I had to self publish the book..because it has to be seen in it’s finished state to be realized for what it is.. a work of art and literature.

 

I am sorry that I am not submitting to you as you have requested. I am hoping that you will go to my website and read the front page..and see a sample of the photography from the book on my site. The controversy surrounding the book is..in some of the images I am topless.. just as the Goddess is traditionally.. in my city,, in the conservative, professional society that I live in..this has been judged as inappropriate..but I know on a world stage this will be seen as brave and beautiful.”"

 

It is my hope that due to your credentials you will be able to look past our local communities religious discrimination to see the bigger picture and the larger scope of what my book and work has to offer..and that you will allow me to show my book in your galleries..

 

Thank you,

 

Gracie Ackerman

I Plea Celibacy

 

It wasn’t my initial intention to turn to celibacy .. like many places we find ourselves in; it is the journey of life that takes us there.

I am a very sexual and sensual woman; I am healthy, I have a high sex drive; I am in the prime of my sexuality..being in my forties; but I am a very sensitive, loving woman..and I found that I couldn’t get that back from others.

I have been celibate for over a year..well over a year. I found that the men I was with were very selfish in bed..and out of the bedroom. They objectified me, and expected me to fit into their lives while making no room in their own lives for me; accept for when it suited them. I found myself becoming emotionally depleted, I found them to clutter up my thoughts with their neediness and selfishness; I felt a lack of any spiritual connection ( soul to soul contact) and I was very physically sexually frustrated.

Simply put; sexually I can pleasure myself and satisfy myself without all immaturity and head games of men who really don’t know how to be men.

I would rather go on living my own life then waste my time on men that simply do not deserve me.

It has become a journey of self nurturing and learning how to channel my need for intimacy into being intimate with myself on every level..

But of course I still long for someone who is able to actually be present with me. Someone with similar interest, of health and who is as driven as I am. Someone who accepts me for me, someone to talk to, to cuddle, to share food with,  I long for deep lasting eye contact, and passionate lovemaking .. sometimes it seems like it will never happen again..and I get very sad; but I am not willing to be with a selfish man, I am not willing to hurt myself even deeper by letting myself down..to let someone emotionally injure me just so I can meet a sexual need.

I am not judging others; and I am not saying this should ring true for anyone else..it is just were I am at in my life and were I have been for over the last year..

I pour myself into my workouts and my writing; into mothering my children.. into life.

Professionally I have been called many names because of my website; I have endured so much prejudice and outright hatred ..because I am seen as a whore; I am seen as a woman asking for it; as I put myself out there sexually; even in a professional way, I am not seen as professional because I am a woman using her own nudity to express sacred sexuality..and healthy sexuality and women’s freedom of expressing and living in their own sexuality.. I am seen as asking for abuse by others in my local community..

And so I have to self protect; I have to draw my energy and all my resources into me; to be there for me, because no one else has loved me and protected me..

And so it is I Plea Celibacy.

 

Sleeping

 

I am worried about the world, I am worried about the state of humanity. I am worried that there isn’t any humanity. I am worried that the entire world has grown cold.

Watching what is happening in Middle East and comparing it to what is happening in my own country and city.. it all feels so hopeless.

Then is weekend with the police ripping through my town house parking lot.. right by the playground teaming with children..to catch a shooter; I was told by them they have the right to make that decision. The decision to risk the lives of school children to catch a shooter. I have had trouble sleeping since, because I realized that I cannot stop the violence from affecting my children or all of the children in the world. The gassing of children in the Middle East, lays so heavy on my heart. While watching my 6 year old little boy sleep sweetly beside me; crawling into my bed at night to take up the entire bed.. I think to myself ” There is a mother somewhere in the Middle East and other parts of this violent world who will never watch her child sleep sweetly beside her. She will never feel the tiny hands reach for her in the middle of the night; she will not calm the nightmares or cool a fever.. her baby is gone forever from her.”

Then in my own personal nightmares; my own personal hell of attempting to enlighten a society on women’s equality and healthy sexuality.. taking the risk of being a man on facebook.. Tom Wills.. being the fly on the wall and looking into Kelowna’s upper society learning though  the facebook post of those that reject me as a woman..as an artist.. that the most important things to Kelowna’s society is a well stocked wine cellar. It is so hard not to say ” They” and not reverse the prejudice..to say “THEY” are sleeping.. hiding behind the prestige of ” Wine Country” and the finer things of life.. while others die ” Eating Cake” .. let them eat cake.. let them do as they do while I enjoy my life..

I am judging and I know it.. am I bitter or fed up?

I lay awake wishing sometimes that I could sleep as they do.. loose this reality in spa days, and network luncheons and vanilla vodka strait up on the rocks..but I am painfully awake; my finger on the pulse of humanity..and it weakens.. like my sister’s pulse as she lay dying 6 years ago.. too young to die..and that is humanity..as my sister’s body self destructed by cancer..so does humanity.. it dies by the cancer of greed and selfishness…

In the Middle East millions of families.. yes families are displaced in camps..starving, dying.. pleading to the world for mercy..

Yet we hide our heads.. here in ” Wine Country”..and how can I raise awareness or money.. or run a protest..against this prejudice and violence..

When I myself face it here..when I am shut out and shunned socially..how can I do anything in this clicky society..???

A society that loves to sleep.

THE TRUTH IS NEUTRAL

 

These comments are copied from my facebook, youtube, and email..  I have tried to maintain journalistic integrity.. I am simply attempting to show the truth without prejudice ..

First off I was simply attempting to reach these women with my message of equality.. I was attempting to communicate with them .. to show them how they were promoting inequality by placing higher value on other people that have wealth and influence in society.. also I am attempting to communicate with them that I wish to network with them and that I need their help to promote my book and message through their connections .. networking and publishing connections. What I have learned is that there is an intense prejudice in Kelowna.. or in the Okanagan due to how I have been treated as an individual without wealth or social connections by the women below and by their networking organizations such as Kelowna Women in Business.

 

In the last comment by Melonie Dodaro..she says that she did not know who I was until I commented on her facebook .. yet she was one of my first followers on Twitter .. I found KWIB through her online social connections to them as she was a member of the board in June 2012..I also tweeted her..and she answered me.. KWIB’s lawyer emailed me with their address when I named them when I filed my claim against them and another networking organization .. to the BC Human Rights Tribunal..due to prejudice against the sexuality of my book and website.. since she networks very closely still with KWIB it is highly unlikely that she does not know me.

 

As you will…come to your own conclusions..

 

From me.. Gracie Ackerman to Okanagan Women’s Magazine

 

I picked up and read your magazine at the local walk-in clinic.. I think you have the wrong woman on the cover. The Postpartum Hotline saved my life a few years back when I had just had my son. My now ex husband was having an affair on me and my sister was passing way from brain cancer..I was on the phone with these ladies often..and when I didn’t check in they called me. I think a woman promoting selfless acts of kindness deserves the recognition you bestowed upon a woman that all ready has everything. I don’t see the woman on the cover as a truly empowered woman as she was, and still is given a huge hand up by the men in her family. She was given the land, the education and the opportunity..she didn’t have to work for these things herself..although she maybe working the family investments..and land she is not a woman waging war on her own..as she seems to be very much daddy’s little girl or even princess.. you wrote about her juggling work and family..but I am sure given her income level and opportunity that she has nannies and maids that help her with her domestic chores..

 

I am wondering if she paid you to be put on the front cover and to be made the cover story to help promote her winery? Or is that your magazine only promotes the most affluent in our society? I do not believe that this woman represents the average Okanagan Woman..this is the title of you magazine ..so why are you not promoting us? It seems that you have given us an unreasonable role model to live up to.. how many women are given big chunks of land to groom into successful wineries? I don’t believe that your magazine promotes woman’s empowerment..as it seems the title of one of your articles says ( handing over control) bad choice of wording I fear.. I would like to see you write about and promote empowered women.. women who have made it or who are attempting to make it..without daddy’s help.. or without being fully indorsed by male money..

 

I take up issue with most of the magazines in the Okanagan as they seem to promote affluence.. intense wealth and greed.. there seems to be little substance. intellectual thought or any depth included in most of the articles..and then when you do have a great cover story you past it by making it secondary to write an article that is shallow at best.

 

To conclude.. Okanagan Woman does not represent Okanagan Women

 

Okanagan’s Women’s Magazine reply to me

Hi Gracie

Sadly, I had no option but to remove your post. :-(   You are entitled to

your opinion, which I am happy to print, but your comments were a personal

attack on a woman who graciously consented to being featured in Okanagan

Woman magazine. Your language was aggressive and had a bullying tone. I will

not tolerate that.

 

I am very glad that you were able to receive the support you needed from The

Postpartum Hotline. We featured Tascheleia Marangoni, the founder of the

Postpartum Depression Awareness Project in our SheRoes section because of

her dedication to perinatal mood disorders.  We hope that story encourages

others suffering from post partum depression to seek out PPDAs services and

know they are not alone. I’m sure you will agree that this is not a shallow

or fluffy subject.

 

We published a story about a woman who lost her mentally ill son and her

crusade to find him and to help others in similar situations. I don’t think

her story is shallow or fluffy. Are Wendy Bosma and Tascheleia Marangoni

“real women” by your definition?

 

Okanagan Woman magazine celebrates ALL women, regardless of their financial

situation. The Okanagan is comprised of women from all walks of life and we

celebrate them all.

The cover model is chosen based on the merits of the photo. We believe a

beautiful woman in a beautiful dress and gumboots, walking in an orchard is

very symbolic of Okanagan women.  Jennifer Turton-Molgat was born and raised

in the Okanagan and has inherited the same strong work ethic of her

ancestors. She runs a successful winery and gives back to the community

through The View Cares: Red Shoe Program which raises funds and donates

thousands of bottles to charity and community events. Surely, that isn’t

frivolous.

 

There is no shortage of deserving, wonderful Okanagan women; but there is

only room for one of them  on the cover.  We believe we made an excellent

choice and we are thrilled that Jennifer Turton-Molgat allowed us to use her

photo.

 

I see that you have a lot of passion to change the world. You CAN effect the

change you want to see, however, you might be more effective by offering

kind, honest criticism, rather than hostile, vehement remarks. Our Facebook

page allows readers and fans to inform, inspire and celebrate women from the

Okanagan. It is not meant for individuals to make judgemental and cruel

comments about ANY woman. For that reason I removed your post.

 

Okanagan Woman is not trying to be perfect. We are simply a small business,

doing our best. Remember, be kind – you never know what other people are

going through.

 

Best regards

TJ Wallis

Publisher/Editor

 

My Posting on Melonie  Dodaro’s  face book

 

I am not one of your friends; you blocked me on twitter for simply saying that one of your tweets didn’t help small business; that it could only be meant for large corporations how was that comment worth blocking me over? It was not a personal attack on you; I simply stated that the information was not useful to me.. How is it that someone that uses her voice to make a living will not allow me to have a voice or an opinion? I have been treated very unfairly by you and the networking community that you call your friends and business associates.. as I have been labeled as ( inappropriate) I have been shut out of the networking community..and even on social networking you all block me. Your a hypocritical and going by your actions of socially shunning me due to the sexual nature of my work ( sacred sexuality and the Goddess archetype) you all seem to be very sexually immature and lacking in sexual education or understanding arts and culture as my book and photography are also considered to be such. I have simply wanted to learn how to market my book and to find a platform to speak about my work.. simply by your actions and by the actions of others that you network with you are in need of this new information. It is simply a new culture.. a new way to look at sexuality and women’s sexuality ..all issues pertaining to equality. You have all treated me with prejudice and with inequality by shutting me out.. I am like the colored woman be told to get to the back of the bus were I belong.. this is prejudice due to my artistic expression of sexuality and also it is religious prejudice ..as it seems you are all Christian owned and operated business that network together. To many fundamental Christians the Goddess may seem satanic..this is also a lack of understanding. I use Carl Jung`s archetypes to help take the sigma away from the Goddess.. You are all sorely misunderstanding the meaning behind my work. I am sure now you will take me off your facebook..but at least I have had my say and have not been silenced by you via social networking before I could.. Like I said ironic that you promote social networking and face to face networking while shutting me out..just because I don`t fit into your mold.

 

Melonie Dodaro’s reply to me on her Youtube Video.. I do not have an exact copy of my comment to her as she deleted it.. but it was something like

“ At least I am open minded enough to use your information to help me with my linkedin profile and not be prejudiced against your information by the way you treat me.”

Melonie Dodaro’s reply to me via youtube that I couldn’t reply to because she blocked me off of youtube, twitter and facebook.

Gracie I am glad you enjoyed my video. Yes I have blocked you from Twitter & now from Facebook due to inappropriate comments. Until today I had no idea who you were or what you do until your personal attack on my Facebook profile. I use social media to provide value and build positive relationships. Anyone who is negative, critical or just plain nasty I absolutely block. I wish you nothing but success with your business but will not allow my personal profiles to used for negativity of any kind!

 

Prejudice

Prejudice- unreasonable unfair dislike of someone or something, to cause a disadvantage to.

I am writing to you about my most recent experiences of being singled out of society because of my work on the Goddess.

When I first started my blog..well I lost about 40 friends on facebook.. many from high school who wouldn’t accept who I grew into.. when I used my sensual photographs on my blog that I posted on facebook.. I was pretty much ran out of the townhouses that my kids and I lived in..because of course I was a (slut)..a ( drama queen) and a ( unfit mother) to name but a few names I was called.. it became like a witch hunt and it started to trickle down to my kids..and so we moved to a house across town.

But it was just the beginning..as I started to ask around town for a place to do the photography for my website.. my emails were ignored, I was shunned, and shamed.. by local Wineries and local Gardens.. I drove up to one Public Garden to ask them face to face why they had not answered my email..before they new it was me that had emailed them they told me they answered their emails same to next day.. when I explained the content of the email.. I was told ” you are not welcome in our Gardens.” right in front of my kids..when I asked if I could pay like everyone else to just take my kids in to look around..they walked away and ignored us..

I was reading the local paper one day and an write up was in it about the local Entrepreneur Society.. with an email so I emailed him..I sent him the cover shot of the book and I told him what the book was about and what the website was going to be about.. I told him about the problems I was having. I told him I thought his society could help me learn how to network better and that I may learn from others how to promote my book.. I gave him my phone number.. he told me over the phone that the picture of the book cover gave him a hard on.. my thoughts were ( fuck not another asshole) but yes he was.. he wanted to meet me at a nice little coffee and tea house.. I told him that I was bringing my 5 year old son with me..I explained to him that although the content of my book is about women`s sexuality and the website was going to be about sacred sexuality.. that with my son with us at the meeting I wanted the talk to be kept clean. No such luck.. first off my son must of read his energy because he wanted nothing to do with this older man.. right in front of my son.. he used the words FUCKING..and he talked about father`s fucking their daughters.. he went on about native people being the worst for this.. ( he was racist) he wanted to know how I had gotten into sex..why I was so interested.. had my father fucked me..

I left the meeting sickened..and feeling so hurt for my son.. who was sitting there eating his cookie and drinking his milk.. my poor little innocent boy watching his mother being totally disrespected and treated like dirt.. I did write him an email after a couple of days.. I was in shock.. this was in May of 2012.. this next email I am including that I wrote to a friend has been what has happened to me in the last 3 months.. I just don`t feel like typing the same thing all over again so I am just including it..as it is my email to her and I am just leaving her identity out of it..

 

To start off, I used the picture of me nude with the runes to show my self naked and stripped of my ego..that was the symbolic intent. It is to show strength in vulnerability.
*sigh* I have been sad.. the post was to show that I have detached myself from the world and society.. here is why.
To start the man on twitter that proclaims himself an Angel.. turned out to be married for 29 years.. in a sexless marriage ( or so he says) he wanted to skype with me when his wife and kids were busy… my intuition was very clear as to he wanted to have online sex with me.. it made me feel so sad and hopeless towards men.. that even a man that seemed so (good) could want to use me.
I have said somethings to the other so called Earth Angel the European guy on his art page but he is also just a man on a power-trip as well.. he just ignores me after telling me that I was the love of his lives.. having him tell me I was his twin flame is to say as much..and so it is that these men.. drain away my hope.
Then a man that held the Bella Dona event that I read the book at.. was pissed off at me for not wanting to be his woman and to write a book with him.. I asked him for help as to contacts here in my city to hold a Goddess Group.. he became very arrogant and temperamental and insisted that he help to run things with men involved as well and that it wouldn’t work any other way.. when I was polite and wished him well and told him I would go on my own way.. he blocked me on facebook after wishing me a good life.. ( meaning go fuck yourself)
Then a very well known man..that is a patron of the Arts here in my city.. got the wrong impression of me .. we were friends.. I made it clear to him that I only wanted to be his friend.. I am not attracted to him physically as he is much older than me.. any way we went out one day to a winery.. and he started to say some questionable things like ” Gracie you are like a black widow.. ” of course this means that I use and discard men.. I think giving him a reason to not respect me..as it seems they always have to find a reason to discredit you to give themselves permission to treat a woman like shit.. after a day of drinking.. I went to his house..when I was putting my shoes on sitting on the stairs.. he came up behind me and pulled my dress off my shoulder and cupped my bare breast while kissing my neck from behind.. I didn’t know what to do.. I don’t know why but for some reason I was stunned and I let him because I was scared.. I don’t know why but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I gracefully separated myself from him and talked my way out the door.. before this I had given him a copy of my book that he had not read yet as I gave it to him at the beginning of the day.. I thought being a patron of the Arts and being an older man that he would be mature and educated enough to understand why I was giving it to him..as I was looking for support in the Arts due to our very repressed city.. but he started to text message me a few days after with intense sexual messages like ” I want to suckle your breast.” Then when I saw him at a local Arts show..he pretended not to know me.. he wouldn’t give me eye contact not even when I touched his arm..as I am a risk socially to a social climber, mover and a shaker.. I felt USED again.. I talked to him on facebook as I was afraid to meet with him..because I didn’t want to be felt up again.. or have to tell him to back off.. He told me I was ” as sexual bully.” meaning a tease of course.. I wished him well as he continued to tell me off..I unfriended him..I did so before he had recontacted me with the explanation of him ignoring me in public.. what a mess.. what a mess.. I have lost hope in men.
But women have been just as cruel.. I was hushed at a reading..the woman that held the party..that hushed me..because I was offending people.. had everyone come inside so it was more private.. everyone else read from their work..and sang and so on.. I was hushed in the middle of my reading and then once inside not asked to read again while all the other woman had their peace.. I was so hurt..she said sorry to me in hushed way..but I was not given room to read anymore.. she never contacted me on facebook after that.. there was a woman there as well that runs a spiritual business.. ran by her alone.. she told me I was too much of a warrior and that basically it was by my own doing that men have treated me the way they have..my 5 year old son was at this gathering with me..as 5 year olds do he was acting up as he was tired.. he was pushing on my tummy ..because that is how high he is..she said he was pushing on my ovaries as a defense because I was a threat to his little masculinity..then without asking me she felt she needed to do some healing touch therapy on my little boy.. It got worse..she invited me to a meeting with her a couple of days later..were she told me I wouldn’t be acceptable to society because of the pictures on my website..she went so far as to suggest that I was not spiritually enlightened unless I abstained from sex ..and that when I met the right person.. I should wait 3 months before even kissing them..and if the sex was not great that we could create intimacy through just cooking dinner together ( she has been divorced 3x) she went so far as to define the word whore to me and the root of the word..she told me that Woman in Business from my city wouldn’t except me as a speaker or a business woman unless I made myself less of a threat sexually by buttoning up in a business suit..she told me that my thoughts about giving birth to my light body .. well were just my thoughts..and that the proof would be in how I stopped living out of my lower chakra..and that would be when I stopped giving off so much sexual energy..and I was not seen as a threat to other women..as a potential husband stealer.
Before she had said all of this ..she seemed very much like she was supportive of me..she asked me what my biggest sin was sexually.. I felt I could confide in her without being judged .. so I told her.. and she proceeded to shame me..
I unfriended both of these women on facebook.. I stopped following Women in Business on twitter and told them why..that she had told me that I was not acceptable to their group.. I have felt so bullied myself.
My Arts Council took my post off their wall.. that I was looking for a male model..they did so without giving me the common respect of an explanation..and so I unfriended them on facebook as well as I feel I am not respected as an artist nor as a person..
I have been so hurt.. that I have stayed out of society.. do not go to any events.. I do not try.. I am not trying.. because I am only excluded.. labeled.. judged..used by men and as a scapegoat by women..
And then when I have the guts to say that I am hurt.. I am once again labeled a victim..and then of course it is all my fault..because having a so called “victim mentality” I bring their actions on to me..by my own manifestation of them..
And so it is I am in this world but not of it.. as I have to remain detached in order to make my own way through the ignorance of others.
I have always been different.. I have never fit in.. I was born an old soul.. that is the label that they gave me.. or what they called me.. I have run into other old souls.. and we don`t fit in because we see the world as it is..we make other people uncomfortable.. I am a minority and I have always known this.. this why I like other people that are different .. what others see as strange I take comfort in.. I like being around people of different cultures and ways of being..ever since I was a child my best friends were the ones who were real and authentic..but that makes a lot of people uncomfortable because if you are real .. it shows them their fake..so you get shunned and shamed.
I have a gift for my City .. Kelowna.. all the names that I have been called ( Victim, Whore, Slut, Seductress, Bad Mother, Unacceptable, Offensive..etc) this is not my shame this is your shame.. SHAME ON YOU.
This is not revenge.. I am not taking part in your victimization of me.. I will not.
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