Posts Tagged ‘practical spirituality’

A Single Mother’s Guide To Empowerment

 

There are many women online and in the world of media that profess to be about women’s empowerment or to be life coaches; there are women with PHDs and other certifications whom have their blogs and books professionally editited, and so you may think them to be more qualified than me towards giving you advice and leadership. My qualifications are life skills built upon real life experiences. The person whom you should want to lead you or to give you qualified advice is the person or woman that is walking her talk. I am not overtly wealthy, I am not entitled as I have not and was not born to a life of privilege. I come from a very poor family and my father was very abusive and sexist. My mother committed suicide when I was 13 due to her mental illness and I put myself into the Canadian fostercare system in my teens. I ended up living on my own when I was 17 to then put myself through college with student loans. Due to my abusive upbringing I ended up in a seven year relationship with a physically abusive alcholic. I left him to finish my education in business college to then meet and marry my now ex husband who was emotionally and financially abusive. I have no extended family, and so have had to carry the responsiblity of being a single mother of three on my own. I went onto become a published author of the book { The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine } and to create my own blog and website www.sexassacred.com

I have been through intense stuggles and trials in my life. I have been physically and sexually abused. I have been plunged into suicial thoughts. I have risen again and again from great hoplessness towards achieving many goals and dreams. My greatest of all dreams having yet to be realized; is to be given a world wide voice towards women’s rights, equality and empowerment. Upon writing my book about women’s sexual empowerment I have had to to stand against much sexual discrimination by shining a light on the sexual shame placed upon women by society. I still continue to fight this daily with all women who wish to stand against it and push back against conformity and sexual repression.

I have primary guardianship of my children and so that means they are in my care 90 percent of the time; so I am a full time single mother who is in the trenches of parenthood and womanhood with you.

I am writing this in point form because I am a busy mom and I like to be able to skim information when my time is limited.

 

 

1. Find your strength in forgiveness

Working on forgiveness and forgiving is the key towards finding innner peace and balance. My key to forgiving my ex husband was understanding his own father wound as to why he was unable to stay with us as a family unit, and as to why he had an affair when he found out I was having a boy with our third child. It was because he saw his son in himself and his wound that he didn’t want to face in his son. Understanding that no one is perfect and that we are all wounded helps to heal wounds into scars.  Many people will hurt us because they are hurt and not conscious enough to be able to heal themselves so they hurt others. Understanding will bring you to forgiveness and forgiviness will being you to inner balance. Balance is the key to strength.

2. Be responsible and take responsibility

When we are honest with ourself and make a point of becoming conscious towards our own weaknesses we can make them into our strengths or at least strengthen our weaknesses. Take responsiblity as to your part in the marriage or relationship ending. For example; I didn’t draw proper boundaries at the begining of my marriage and so I allowed him to disrespect me and allowed my independance to be taken from me as I gave it away.

3. Budget 

Part of taking responsibility is to take responsiblity for your money and spending habits. Write down your bottom line and then subtract your bills and abstract spending, make a budget from there. Write down daily what you have spent and on what to keep yourself honest. A part of being empowered is to take control of your money and be honest with yourself if you have a spending problem. If you are going into a negative in your budget it is time to make plans towards cutting out what isn’t needed and or finding a practical way towards generating more income.

4. Set Goals and be proactive

You can set all the goals you like but you must be proactive by doing the work and taking the actions towards acheiving your goals. My motivation is knowing that I have had my three children to set an example for. Here are a few of the goals that I have achieved over the span of several years.

Fitness

buy a new car

write a book or blog

make new friends

charity work

body building competition

Setting and achieving goals are very important towards self empowerment and building self confidence, when you are finished achieving a goal it’s important to celebrate that goal but then to keep moving forward towards future goals. There is great satisfaction in a job well done!

5. Self care

I want all single moms to drop the guilt here; It is important that you meet the needs of your children but it is also inportant that your needs are met too. If your cup is empty than you have nothing to give your children. It is important that you allow yourself rest. It is important that you all eat healthy and that you workout five times a week. Take care of your appearance; your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being is your empowerment. Budget your time for me time.

6. Life isn’t fair

Life isn’t a fairytale. Many Goddess empowerment life coaches will try to sell you on meeting the man of your dreams and being able to create some fanastic other reality just by paying them for endless life coaching sessions; and that is wrong and will make you feel hopeless in the long run over empowered. Shit happens in real life and for the most part we are not manifesting this reality on our own. We share this earthly reality with billions of other souls in different levels of consciousness and so we are bound to run into some shit realities. The justice system is sexist and the world is full of bigotry and some real wack jobs; so we have to learn to work around it. We have to learn to make the best of what we can control and to accept what we cannot contol. That doesn’t mean we become complacent, just that we are able to choose what is worth putting our energy towards. When you hit a wall sometimes it’s best to go into a different direction of your own.

7. Feeling sad or suicidal

Most women’s sadness comes from unvented anger because we live in societies that don’t allow women to be angry; just like most men’s anger comes from held in sorrow because we live in societies that don’t allow men sorrow but only anger as an emotion; Therefore it is important to vent out our emotions to help us not give into to suicidal thoughts or actions. So please be angry and vent your anger out in a non destructive fashion such as a hard workout or screaming and crying into a pillow. Get help if you need help. Call the crisis line if you need help right away. I got help when I needed help. It takes great strength to ask for help when we are at our most vulnerable. Let no one shame you into being strong enough to ask for help. I have helped suicidal and vulnerable friends; and I have been there myself. The greatest courage is saving yourself. Remember this too shall pass

8. Have FAITH

Having a belief system or a practice that brings us to faith and hope when all feels lost brings us back to an empowered state. You can be an athiest and still find hope and faith in meditaion or nature walks. If religion or a belief is God gives you true empowerment than that is your private and personal walk in faith. My personal walk of faith is a spiritual, non religious, non dogmatic spirituality that is based in nature. Do what brings you hope, love and peace.

9. Gratitude

Comparison is the theif of joy ~ Theodore Roosevelt

Society and or the media is constantly wanting us to compare ourselves to others so we are motivated into buying products for other’s validation; from learning to be happy with what you have. Count your blessings when you feel like the world has short changed you. Most of us single mothers feel that way from time to time. Being a single mother is often a struggle and a financial jugglimg act; but when we learn to stop and smell the roses it can turn bitterness sweet. Count those little fingers and toes, be thankful for your health, for your talents and natual gifts, for your friends and community. Happiness is an inside job.

10. Be authentic

Be yourself. The most powerful thing you can be is your true self. Be prepaired to cut even the closest people out of your life if they don’t accept you for you. Speak to be heard and speak with your own voice. Remember you teach people how to treat you. Set boundaries down. Always maintain your DIGNITY

11. Romance

Don’t let people shame you as a single mother for wanting a new relationship and remember if you are not honest and clear with yourself you will not get what you want. It is ok to want romance in your life, of course it is! You can love your children and a new romantic partner. But being alone and getting to know yourself and taking the time to heal from your last relationship is critical towards your own empowerment. Empowerment is knowing yourself. Knowing yourself and becoming conscious of our own shadows, wounds and weaknesses means that we will be empowered and healed towards being ready for a new and healthy intimate relationship. Until you have worked on strengthening youself from the inside out you will not be ready for a lasting and healthy love. Time takes time and this takes time. A truly empowered woman doesn’t look for a man to hide herself behind, she goes into herself towards self transformation to become as a walking GODDESS 

A GODDESS IS AN EMPOWERED WOMAN

You can find my book { The Goddess and Expression of the Divine Feminine } by Gracie Ackerman on Amazon,ca

Free Goddess Coaching

 

 

Being a Goddess or your best self requires that you be yourself. I know a lot of women will seach this up on the internet looking for a step by step guide as to how to be anything but themselves. That is what society has brainwashed women into believing. You are probably wanting to know what you can wear, how you can act or special places you can go to to find your Goddess. I have seen women in Goddess Cirlces dressed like fictional Goddesses and acting in fictional ways that they think will make them more attractive to men and spiritually enlightened in spiritual societies. But honestly this is just role playing or pretend they haven’t actualized their Goddess or their best selves.

If you are looking for a tend or a concept to lose yourself in then you might not want to read this.

A woman who is truly empowered isn’t seeking the approval of others. A woman who is empowered is a Goddess as she is whole to herself. A woman who is being a Goddess is being in her own skin and is seeing herself through her own eyes. You see the patriarchy has brainwashed us through the media towards seeing ourselves and our value through the male gaze. There are many Goddess teachings by female or even male coaches and writers that promote a false Goddess understanding by teaching women becoming a Goddess is to become more attractive or alluring towards male approval. If a woman is not being herself she will not be able to sustain the ACT  and the relationship or courtship that she attracts with her ACT will fail over time because eventually the mask becomes to much of a burden to wear.

Being an empowered woman or GODDESS is not a trend, it is not a fashion nor need it be a spiritual statement; becoming empowered is simply for herself, for yourself.. it is hedonistic as it is simply for the pleasure of being you. It is for the pleasure of exploring you.

A Goddess or an empowered woman is a feminist or believes in equality because she loves herself; the only way to true empowerment is to love and respect yourself.  A Goddess owns herself, her mind, body, reproductive rights, she speaks her mind and gives her opinions. A Goddess is not a damsel in destress, she saves herself but when she needs help she will seek it out because she loves herself enough to know when she needs help. A empowered woman or a Goddess empowers other women, she helps other women by giving her wisdom freely to other women and girls who cannot afford to pay for it. Like I am doing here; but she also knows her worth and isn’t shy in asking for what is due her.

A Goddess is not a brand, just like I said it is not a trend or a fashion statement; an empowered woman and empowering other women is timeless; but, except for a select few men who are more intouch with their inner feminity most Goddess Work must be taught by women who have lived as women; because you do not know what you do not know.

As an empowered woman I do not seek out fame and fortune because I know these things are fleeting; but I seek out a medium on which to share so that all women can become empowered by the message. I don’t and nor should you need the world’s attention or approval. Fame is a vehicle and money should be a shared resource to further empower others.

A Goddess or an empowered women owns her own sexuality past shame, past religious dogma that is the male gaze or perspective, she owns her sexuality past societal norms as they are not normal. A Goddess decides what and how her body will be shaped; but because a Goddess loves herself her health and wellbeing are her main goal. A Goddess choses if modesty or nudity is right for her and doesn’t slut same other women for their own unique choices as to how they express their sexuality.

You become a Goddess by being brave enought to step into your unique and special self. You become a Goddess by loving you as you are and by loving life. You learn to love life by being grateful in the moment, by honing in on your own special gifts and talents; these special gifts and talents become your purpose. A Goddess lives into her purpose and makes life meaningful by doing so.

A empowered woman or a Goddess listens to her own intuition or inner priestess or guides. She is her own spirituality and forms her own religion on around love and compassion to herself and others.

Being a Goddess or empowered woman takes intense bravery as the world wants to constantly drag women back into the male gaze or dumbed down patriachy model of a weak and meek woman, that should be seen and not heard. I Goddess ROARS..

I am not sorry that I didn’t give you a trendy and stylish version of becoming a Goddess that you are probably used to reading. What I hope I did was help you to go deep inside of yourself to invision the greatness of you becoming more of you.

You can find my book on Amazon.ca ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) ~  by Gracie Ackerman

Please go to the front page of my website www.sexassacred.com for further information

Coming To My Senses

 

When I wasn’t even fully awake this morning; my eyes not yet even open, the thought that came into my consciousness was ” No more assholes.”  I was waking up in the country to open my drapes to see the snow covered mountains to the sound of the early morning train. I love the sound of the train at night and the coyotes. The coyotes sound so hauntingly beautiful and mysterious on the cold and snowy winter nights. I woke up to waking up; to a feeling of coming back to my senses or the center of myself. It was a peaceful yet a radical awakening as I realized I didn’t ever have to fight anyone for anything when I was living in the city of Kelowna. I realized I didn’t even have to move to Kelowna to create my book and I realized, I can and I will, create whatever the fuck I want, whenever I fucking want to. When I left the city I left them to their own devices and I realized upon awakening that I always should have. I should of never cared what they thought of me or how they labeled me to suit their own purposes and insecurities. There ignorance was theirs to own not for me to trouble myself with even addressing, towards giving them or their issues any of my time.

My soul feels nourished once more and I do feel whole once more and reborn into myself and my own internal power. It is like I walked back into a mirror to walk into myself. All the names that they called me and all the things that they would have me believe myself to be, have fallen away and they are with them in Kelowna.

Before I awoke to my thought of ” No more assholes.” I had a dream. In my dream I was in a hologram and I was erasing parts of the illusion until it was gone. I stepped out of the hologram and back into my own life.. and so it was that Kelowna, I was in a 6 year bad dream that I allowed to be real by accepting the illusions that others projected towards me. My dream was my subconscious becoming conscious and awakening me to myself while I awoke. It was a dream of everyday magic; and that my friends is true awareness.

I have a new attitude towards my life now, I have a new attitude towards others who question my life and me as a person ( You are not my problem and I don’t have to explain a damn thing to you about my choices or my life )

I don’t need to fight anyone to be heard. If you don’t want to hear me that is your choice and it’s my choice not to give a damn and my choice to move towards life and happiness and way from assholes.

I am not going to waste my life and that is my time here on this planet, attempting to be the asshole whisperer. I am going to walk towards the light and happiness and teach my children to do the same. I am going to spend my time and energy on people who respect me, love me and who want to hear my message. I am turning my attention towards love, hope and joy. I am being fully emotionally present with my children, as in the past asshole’s nasty energy took my energy and time away from my kids. Not anymore. I am turning my back on all those who don’t matter and giving my love and attention to those who do..including myself.

I know logically it will take another 100 years or so before women have the same sexual freedoms and rights as men. I have done my part for society and for the human race upon writing my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) available on Amazon.ca

So now I am going to let it ride on the hands of fate. I will keep writing, but I am not pushing and I am not fighting.. what is meant to be will be.. I am going to enjoy my life and peace.

How Sacred Sexuality Promotes Healthy Sexuality

Unhealthy sexuality is defined by the fact that it causes sexual dysfunction like perversion. Perversion can be defined as obsessive and repulsive acts like having sex with animals, pedophilia, necrophilia, rape.. etc. Sexual addiction is also unhealthy sexuality as it becomes self destructive. Sexual addiction completely takes over a person’s life, like all other addictions they live their lives totally out of balance for the next rush or high that they get from sex. Sexually transmitted diseases are obviously another form of unhealthy sexuality and the more random one’s partners the higher the risk towards becoming infected with multiple STDs.

Sacred sexuality teaches us to temper our lusts with wisdom and love. Through a spiritual lens we understand the body and it’s practical functions as also sacred and holy. Sex is never just sex as it is the energy of two souls becoming alchemised as one. Lust for the sake of just pure animal impulses is seen as lower or dense energy.. lust that is channeled into love through the bridge of emotional intimacy can be used to create a long lasting and meaningful relationships. By seeing sex as sacred we make what would be seen religiously as profane, holy. But by being selective with whom we share our bodies and soul’s energy with we also create a physically healthy sexuality and emotionally healthy sexuality.

Sacred sexuality isn’t steeped in the dogma of religion or even in the dogma of tantra …. but in the practicality of the wisdom of seeing the flesh and soul as one.

The issue with having too many sexual partners is becoming numb towards true intimacy.. seeing sex as simply a physical act can make many people learn over time to push away or deny their emotions towards the people that they are having sex with.. and that is why in today’s ” Hook up ” culture society as a whole has become intimacy deprived or even retarded. By calling society emotionally retarded it means that we have become impaired towards making emotional and even intellectual connections in our personal romantic relationships, because we have learned over time to deny our emotions. We have learned through the hook up culture to deny our hearts desires to deeply, and intimately connect to one another on a soulful level.

With leaving the heart and soul out of sexuality we have forgotten how to be sensual and empowered by our sexuality rather than to be driven by it, channel it rather than have it drive us off course towards dysfunction and addiction.

Sex is powerful energy and we must learn to use it wisely and to respect it as a force of nature.. much like fire ..if you play with it and handle it without respect and care you will get burned by it.

The rule of sacred sex is that it does no harm to you or to others; not just on a physical level but on an emotional level. The problem with having sex for just the sake of lust is that eventually someone gets hurt physically with disease or emotionally by being denied the love of the other. There is always cause and effect in the Universe.. eventually the karma of what you have denied for the sake of lust will catch up and connect with you towards an intense spiritual lesson.. so be responsible towards how you play with the deep cosmic energy of sexuality, by being conscious and aware we can use our sexuality to create a heaven on earth.. in a practical and spiritual sense.

 

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