Posts Tagged ‘pleasuring’

The Female Orgasm

 

What makes a woman orgasmic and what causes her from orgasming or achieving quality orgasms?

Women fake orgasms because they are probably to tired/ill/depleted and too sexually repressed to have them.

The subconscious and conscious thoughts of a woman who hasn’t had an orgasm, has trouble reaching orgasm or has poor quality orgasms are self defeating thoughts. Often they feel unattractive for varying reasons, I am going to touch on.. and they sexually repress themselves by ingrained social and religious stigmas; thoughts like ” Only slutty women touch their vaginas. Only women without morals actually like sex and want it.” or thoughts like ” I am fat and ugly, I cannot even place myself in my own sexual fantasies.” .. {she has low self esteem.}

The woman that cannot reach orgasm is usually a martyr .. she puts everyone ahead of herself. She sees her self worth by how others view her to be a good woman, to be a ultra submissive, servant to family and friends.. she is too nice, too kind, too giving and allows others to drain her over her energy.. she doesn’t ever say no. She doesn’t set healthy boundaries. She is exhausted and drained of her vital life force, and so she hasn’t anything left to put into her orgasm.

The woman who cannot reach orgasm doesn’t feel safe in her life. Her basic needs for love, acceptance, finances and even her physical safety may be at risk constantly.. she hasn’t any resources to call on for help; or feels so lowly about her own worth that she stays in a horrible relationship that drains her of her feminine essence.. once again it comes down to self worth.

The woman who is orgasmic.. holds herself in high esteem .. she will not tolerate abusive behaviors by anyone in her life. She takes care of her body. She is very aware of whom she gives her time or energy to. A woman who is orgasmic takes time for the pleasures in her own life; how ever small they maybe she takes time for her alone time.. to recharge. A woman who is orgasmic will stay single and on her own until she meets the right man that will treat her with the love and respect she treats herself with.. Yes there are women who will sleep around, and sleep with unsuitable men ..that treat them without respect; that do have orgasms but they are not quality orgasms.. they are shallow and only serve as an addiction to sex, that is used to cover up the lack of self love within them. The woman who has deep, sensual quality orgasms has a deep sense of herself and her worth. She doesn’t take on societal shaming or religious shaming of her sexuality. She has the wisdom of knowing her sexual fantasies are her own mysteries into the depths of her passions..she embraces even her darkest needs. She knows that her mind can entertain many deep dark, sensual, gritty fantasies without having to act them out in reality..she has no shame. She sees her imperfections .. as uniqueness.

 

The woman who experiences intense orgasms is more than in touch with her body..she is in touch with her soul through creativity.. she plants gardens, writes poetry, makes babies, decorates, sings, collects beautiful things.. she exercises her choices..she has a voice and she uses it with out apologies..she takes up room..she takes up space..she has a presence. She is decadence in form.. she seeks out pleasure to be pleasure..she fills her cup to over flowing… the woman who is void of this.. who is empty from over giving..of giving herself away.. hasn’t anything to give to herself.. she is a barren landscape that must be healed and re-nourished by the pursuit of her own pleasures.

As you can see the female orgasm starts long before she ever touches her own body.. she needs to give herself permission to be open to receiving pleasure even from her own hand..she must submit to pleasure for pleasure..she must give herself the allowance of decadence.. she must allow her fantasies..she must allow her imperfections and see them as unique beauty to be aroused of herself, before she can ever be aroused by a lover.. she must spend time alone with herself away from the busy world that demands all of her energy, to find and replenish her own self worth.. then she is ready to begin exploring her own body.

The most important epiphany any woman will ever have is that she is of herself.. she is not defined as a mother, daughter, sister, wife, friend.. she is not defined by anything or anyone outside of herself..she isn’t defined by society or religion..she is defined by her own will and spirit.

When she has defined herself.. when she touches her breast, her clitoris.. when she finds her G-spot.. when her mind and heart are cleared of all outside forces she will be able to be present with her orgasm.. she will have a cosmic connection to the divinity of her femininity ..

I do believe that when women become awakened to this desire ..the desire of self exploration the entire universe will shift with the awakening of the divine feminine within each and every woman that chooses her Inner Goddess over The Martyr.

If a woman is orgasmic but cannot have an orgasm with you ( if you’r a man reading this post ) it is probably because she doesn’t feel safe with you, or you are not present with her in her orgasm.. meaning you are rushing her through it.. you are not into giving her or helping her achieve her orgasm.. in essence you are being selfish and lazy. For a woman to totally open up to you, you must be into her pleasure as well as your own pleasure.. if you are just wanting her to orgasm to appease your ego ..she may feel this as a pressure to perform for you and then again you are being selfish. So if she doesn’t have problems reaching quality orgasms on her own.. you will have to find away to be with her and totally enraptured by her.. ravishing her for her desires to experience her orgasms with her.

To read more about The Goddess in you.. please go to Balboa Press to purchase my book ( The Goddess, an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) by Gracie Ackerman

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