Posts Tagged ‘pleasure’

Celibate Sex

 

My sexy shopping spree was brought on by a bad dream I had last night.. I know this sounds funny but dreams are funny things..and the dreams that startle you awake rise directly from your subconscious. ( It’s a fact ) this dream did just that. In my dream I was with random no-name guy. Just some dumb, faceless guy in my life because I was sexually frustrated and lonely. I know a lot of women who make that mistake.. I hate that mistake and I have learned from that sorta mistake years back.. no-name, random guy is a waste of time and energy. In a spiritual sense giving your sexual energy away to someone who doesn’t vibrate at your level is spiritually damaging.. it leaves dark empty holes in your aura.. just like it leaves them in your heart..

With the moon being in Taurus and my Venus being in Taurus; even though I am an Aries. it was time to upgrade on my sex toys..and to treat myself to some sensuality..it was a sensual day ..because I was also reading tarot cards for women concerning questions about their sex lives and exploring their own sexuality..it was a day full of feminine sexuality. A nice break from all the male sexuality promoted all over social media.. feminine sexuality it so nurturing vs male sexuality that can be so aggressive.

The city I live in is very prudish… me writing about my own sexuality, spiritual sexuality or sacred sex..and women’s sexuality is taboo.. If I was ugly, unhappily married and had a PHD well that would be acceptable LOL..because I wouldn’t be sexually intimidating or threatening… silly I know..but this is a retirement community. I just found out today that Sears stopped carrying women’s thong panties because the seniors don’t like to see them in the store! Seriously! They don’t carry my favorite Jessica thong pantie anymore!

I knew the woman who was working at the Adult Store.. we got into a conversation about how and when Kelowna became so repressed, uptight and prudish. It was in the mid 1980s when they got rid of the Regatta, the Flinstone’s theme park and the roller rink.. they started to build condos for the seniors, or the rich that retired early.. everything became about wineries and golf.. The male employee called it ” The end of fun ” OMG he was so right.. Kelowna is so uptight. With attempting to network my book in a prejudiced networking community,  that acts like being prudish and sexually repressed is professional.. I have found the repression put on me to be stifling!  I have had to work very hard on my own internal dialog not to take on the sexual shaming that they put onto me by saying things like ” She is unprofessional and inappropriate ” because I write about sex..and I am topless in my book.. I have had to work really hard at maintaining my sexual energy through their projections..

The sexual energy is called SHAKTI ..it is the primal force that created and creates the UNIVERSE..basically it can be described as the essence of the GODDESS..so if a woman wants to keep this energy flowing..her creative juices..her life force.. her connection to the universe or her own Divinity..while she is without a partner she must self pleasure..often.. scientifically; through the lens of biology it keeps her healthy .. healthy mentally as well..as orgasms fight depression by flooding the body and brain with feel good hormones.

I also think that a woman who keeps her sexual spark alive while waiting for the right partner.. keeps bitterness at bay. A Goddess isn’t bitter or dried up.. she keeps her body and spirit connected through pleasure. My pleasure today was though chocolate, new toys, and shopping for new panties.. the erotic movie that I bought is erotica made for women by a woman.. it was pretty good..comparing it to porn made for male viewers.. the sex scenes were empowering vs degrading to women.. Goddess sexuality is empowering ..the Shakti energy is EMPOWERING…

Shakti (Sanskrit pronunciation: [ˈʃʌktɪ]) (Devanagariशक्ति; from Sanskrit shak, “to be able”), meaning “Power” or “empowerment,” is the primordial cosmic energy and represents the dynamic forces that are thought to move through the entire universe in Hinduism.[1] Shakti is the concept, or personification, of divine feminine creative power, sometimes referred to as ‘The Great Divine Mother’ in Hinduism. On the earthly plane, Shakti most actively manifests through female embodiment and creativity/fertility, though it is also present in males in its potential, unmanifest form.[2]

Not only is Shakti responsible for creation, it is also the agent of all change. Shakti is cosmic existence as well as liberation, its most significant form being the KundaliniShakti,[3] a mysterious psychospiritual force.[4] Shakti exists in a state of svātantrya, dependence on no one, being interdependent with the entire universe.

The Female Orgasm

 

What makes a woman orgasmic and what causes her from orgasming or achieving quality orgasms?

Women fake orgasms because they are probably to tired/ill/depleted and too sexually repressed to have them.

The subconscious and conscious thoughts of a woman who hasn’t had an orgasm, has trouble reaching orgasm or has poor quality orgasms are self defeating thoughts. Often they feel unattractive for varying reasons, I am going to touch on.. and they sexually repress themselves by ingrained social and religious stigmas; thoughts like ” Only slutty women touch their vaginas. Only women without morals actually like sex and want it.” or thoughts like ” I am fat and ugly, I cannot even place myself in my own sexual fantasies.” .. {she has low self esteem.}

The woman that cannot reach orgasm is usually a martyr .. she puts everyone ahead of herself. She sees her self worth by how others view her to be a good woman, to be a ultra submissive, servant to family and friends.. she is too nice, too kind, too giving and allows others to drain her over her energy.. she doesn’t ever say no. She doesn’t set healthy boundaries. She is exhausted and drained of her vital life force, and so she hasn’t anything left to put into her orgasm.

The woman who cannot reach orgasm doesn’t feel safe in her life. Her basic needs for love, acceptance, finances and even her physical safety may be at risk constantly.. she hasn’t any resources to call on for help; or feels so lowly about her own worth that she stays in a horrible relationship that drains her of her feminine essence.. once again it comes down to self worth.

The woman who is orgasmic.. holds herself in high esteem .. she will not tolerate abusive behaviors by anyone in her life. She takes care of her body. She is very aware of whom she gives her time or energy to. A woman who is orgasmic takes time for the pleasures in her own life; how ever small they maybe she takes time for her alone time.. to recharge. A woman who is orgasmic will stay single and on her own until she meets the right man that will treat her with the love and respect she treats herself with.. Yes there are women who will sleep around, and sleep with unsuitable men ..that treat them without respect; that do have orgasms but they are not quality orgasms.. they are shallow and only serve as an addiction to sex, that is used to cover up the lack of self love within them. The woman who has deep, sensual quality orgasms has a deep sense of herself and her worth. She doesn’t take on societal shaming or religious shaming of her sexuality. She has the wisdom of knowing her sexual fantasies are her own mysteries into the depths of her passions..she embraces even her darkest needs. She knows that her mind can entertain many deep dark, sensual, gritty fantasies without having to act them out in reality..she has no shame. She sees her imperfections .. as uniqueness.

 

The woman who experiences intense orgasms is more than in touch with her body..she is in touch with her soul through creativity.. she plants gardens, writes poetry, makes babies, decorates, sings, collects beautiful things.. she exercises her choices..she has a voice and she uses it with out apologies..she takes up room..she takes up space..she has a presence. She is decadence in form.. she seeks out pleasure to be pleasure..she fills her cup to over flowing… the woman who is void of this.. who is empty from over giving..of giving herself away.. hasn’t anything to give to herself.. she is a barren landscape that must be healed and re-nourished by the pursuit of her own pleasures.

As you can see the female orgasm starts long before she ever touches her own body.. she needs to give herself permission to be open to receiving pleasure even from her own hand..she must submit to pleasure for pleasure..she must give herself the allowance of decadence.. she must allow her fantasies..she must allow her imperfections and see them as unique beauty to be aroused of herself, before she can ever be aroused by a lover.. she must spend time alone with herself away from the busy world that demands all of her energy, to find and replenish her own self worth.. then she is ready to begin exploring her own body.

The most important epiphany any woman will ever have is that she is of herself.. she is not defined as a mother, daughter, sister, wife, friend.. she is not defined by anything or anyone outside of herself..she isn’t defined by society or religion..she is defined by her own will and spirit.

When she has defined herself.. when she touches her breast, her clitoris.. when she finds her G-spot.. when her mind and heart are cleared of all outside forces she will be able to be present with her orgasm.. she will have a cosmic connection to the divinity of her femininity ..

I do believe that when women become awakened to this desire ..the desire of self exploration the entire universe will shift with the awakening of the divine feminine within each and every woman that chooses her Inner Goddess over The Martyr.

If a woman is orgasmic but cannot have an orgasm with you ( if you’r a man reading this post ) it is probably because she doesn’t feel safe with you, or you are not present with her in her orgasm.. meaning you are rushing her through it.. you are not into giving her or helping her achieve her orgasm.. in essence you are being selfish and lazy. For a woman to totally open up to you, you must be into her pleasure as well as your own pleasure.. if you are just wanting her to orgasm to appease your ego ..she may feel this as a pressure to perform for you and then again you are being selfish. So if she doesn’t have problems reaching quality orgasms on her own.. you will have to find away to be with her and totally enraptured by her.. ravishing her for her desires to experience her orgasms with her.

To read more about The Goddess in you.. please go to Balboa Press to purchase my book ( The Goddess, an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) by Gracie Ackerman

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