Posts Tagged ‘Networking in the Okanagan Valley’

Innocence Lost

“He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.” Friedrich Nietzsche

 

The Devil Tarot is both good and evil.. the good of The Devil is positive social notoriety ( do something to create positive change for society, the earth or humanity as a whole ) also The Devil in the positive stands for a great and passionate, sexual relationship and/or personal charisma … but this post is about The Devil in the negative… it stands for social notoriety at the cost of personal integrity. It stands for the temptation of loosing yourself in greed.. the greed of money and or social acclaim .. and sexually addictive behaviors and secrets.. or having a double life.. being a two faced lying bastard.. the evil magician who uses the illusion of charm to seduce people into following him/her for the pure ego feed,money, lust and/or all forms of greed..many use the disguise or slight of hand to make it appear that they are trying to use fame to create a positive change for humanity..but truthfully their charities are tools of manipulation .. to create fame for the pure sake of ego feed or to make money.. the filthy rich love ” Their Charities ” as they are great forms of manipulation.

When I first put up my website and all online accounts..and tried to promote my book on foot through my local community I met The Devil in many people. They mistook the innocence and naturalness of the nudity in my book.. in the photography; as my own form of Devil’s Play..they mistook my honest and frank writing ..or maturity about women’s sexuality as seduction.. they saw me as the evil magician using sex to seduce..and so it brought out their own inner devils.. soon I found myself gazing into a pit of seething snakes..all clamoring one up against each other for social attention.. and I was seen as another competitor in the race for fame and fortune.

To many men in my local community I became the next hottest little thing.. many tried to seduce me to become another one of their mistresses or girlfriends.. many of them very overweight men.. or in some way not attractive..but they had social connections, money or both..and when I didn’t play a long.. I was labeled as a crazy bitch. I had one actually grab me from behind when I was alone in his home during a business meeting..he grabbed me and tore my dress to one side cupping my bare breast in his hand from behind..then he bit down on my neck and demanded to be pleased.. I most carefully and graciously peeled him from me before running out the front door.. ~ innocence lost ~

This sort of seductive behavior happened often in the first 2 years of trying to network within Kelowna society.. I was invited to dinner parties to arrive and find myself the only guest.. then I would make a quick exit .. using some lame excuse .. like my babysitting fell through.. but it wasn’t just men.. it was swinging couples.. I had to be so careful.. I was invited to those parties too ..to find myself the only guest..once again to leave as fast as I could….

But then I found myself also the brunt of mean girl jokes..I had women’s organizations that I attempted to network with haunt my blog to leave mean girl comments.. seeing me as the men saw me.. as mistress material.. as the woman putting it out their to climb the social ladder on rich men’s dicks..and so they hated me for it.. for their own insecurities and ignorance..and so I saw what I didn’t want to become.. them.

I have written on this blog about them and their prejudices.. and so they wish to see me torn down..as I showed them the monsters that they are.. while they tried to make me a monster like them..because they thought I must be..putting my sexuality out there like art..thinking I am all that..doing all that they dared not to do..so of course I deserved and deserve their darkness..their contempt and deep dark shadows.. yet they don’t see they have simply projected their devils onto me…

What I have found is that they don’t network..they use each other..as devils do.. they would just as easily drop each other or climb up on the other’s downing ..if it meant climbing higher socially.. they haven’t real friendships.. they lie to each other..butter each other up..and they say they are authentic.. yet their masks are so thick..

When I wrote about my journey into the abyss of Kelowna Society..when I wrote about their shadows..and their slight of hand.. I showed them their devils.. and that’s why they resent me so..Because it takes courage and character not to fall into temptation..as they crawl and clamor in it..drowning in the pitiful messes of themselves they have created..not knowing who it is that stares back at them in the mirror..forgetting who they are in the falseness of their own images they have created..calling it BRANDING and REPUTATION.. but really it’s all just illusion.

But I have this to take with me..and I bid them adieu.. as I bow out from a competition I did’t know I had signed up for..

I have my integrity.. I have my authenticity.. I have my truth..and with that you didn’t steal my light to own it for yourselves.. as you have been too afraid to earn it..as monsters and devils are always afraid.. and that is why they try to steal the light.. because they cannot bring themselves to taking off the masks that casts their shadows…

The question to ask is this.. without me .. now who will you blame and shame.. now that you cannot project your bullshit onto me..it ‘s your faces unmasked in the mirror that you will see.

Why I don’t trust anyone in Kelowna

I have tried so hard to be friends with people in Kelowna.. in the business and networking community. But it seems to me that many of them are trying to find a reason to discredit me due to my website and blog.. many women from the networking community have asked me very personal questions about my sex life and my income.. as if trying to find out for gossiping purposes if I am a slut and a welfare mom. Or even if I am a whore.. like am I actually being paid for sex. Anyways the point is the hate.. it’s the absolute hatred that I have gotten from these people that is so shocking.. cruel and mean.Dayleen Van Ryswyk professed to be about helping me.. she did show up at my book signing at Chapters.. she did hold me a book signing at her own home.. but I became suspect to her intentions when she mentioned inviting Melonie Dodaro to the signing.. and I began to think ( Is she for me or against me? Is this some twisted form of entertainment for these women?) I just don’t know? I met her through Lori Welbourne’s facebook.. Lori also professed to be about my cause ( Women’s Rights and Sexual Equality ) yet Lori didn’t show up to the book signing and didn’t help me promote it.. even though she did have me on her radio show for a short bit?? As soon as Lori found out who I was by me joining her facebook and contacting her through.. Joel Young.. of all people a man who sexual harassed me.. Lori changed everything on her facebook and her videos to be about what I was about.. but never really promoting me.. yet she watched as other artist and people in the community bashed me on her facebook for being about these things.. I just don’t know what to think? I asked Lori right out why she didn’t help me more; why she turned and changed when she found out about what I was doing in our local community.. I was honest with her and asked her if she was trying to steal my thunder.. But after what Dayleen said to me on facebook.. after the fact of watching them comment on other people’s online profiles who were discriminatory against me??? I just don’t know? So I have withdrawn .. drawn my forces inward. I stopped following Lori, I obviously stopped all contact with Dayleen.. as she was intentionally cruel, using all of the things ( weaknesses that I confided to her ) to use as knives to stab me with.. I do know for sure that they are best friends.. and so it is hard not to line them up together.. for my own emotional safety.. but it isn’t just them .. no it is Kelowna’s networking society.. it is the arts community..it is Kelowna’s professionals and Kelowna’s professional women.. it is cattiness .. mean girl shit. Exactly why women have trouble breaking the glass ceiling ..they cut each other out from the ankles before they ever get that high.
  • Gracie Ackerman

    Will you and Ed please lay off about me being unemployed. It isn’t funny to me it is humiliating. Your last comment made me cry

  • Facebook User
    Facebook User

    No one meant to make you feel bad and were sorry if we did. On the flip side, you post about being at the beach all day and work out, then say you need a holiday from your life. To 99% of your FB friends who work crazy hours day in and day out, it’s a little much. From where we stand, your life looks like a holiday none of us can afford. You made it sound like you’re unemployed because I didn’t hire you. That made me feel bad. We like you very much and we support you immensely! Sorry if you felt like you were being ganged up on, I tried to keep it teasing not mean.

  • Gracie Ackerman
    Gracie Ackerman

    Dayleen you mean you and Ed work crazy hours.And my life seems like a holiday to the both of you. You cannot speak for my other Facebook friends. I don’t owe you are anyone a detailed run down of my daily life. We all have our inner and outer wars. I keep many things in my life private from my website and Facebook because it isn’t anyone’s business but mine

  • Gracie Ackerman
    Gracie Ackerman

    Calling me a drama queen was really hurtful. The things you both seem to be implying are hurtful. You don’t know were I have applied or the hours that I need so that i can still be with my kids. My will not p

    Awe fyck

    Fuck it whatever

  • Facebook User
    Facebook User

    I’m sorry you took that the wrong way. I’m supposed to understand that you are kidding but you don’t understand that I’m kidding. If you think that what you say doesn’t bother people, well, I’m not sure what to say.

  • Gracie Ackerman
    Gracie Ackerman

    I am sorry that you and Ed are over worked. I am sorry that you have to work so hard to pay legal bills that you shouldn’t have to pay. But it is not my fault and saying sarcastic things about me and my situation isn’t going to change that. Just like me lashing out isn’t going to change my situation. I have a lot to juggle with 3 kids and no family or financial help. I cannot go to work full time in the summer and put the burden of my 7 year old very busy son on my 2 tween and teen daughters. My ex will not pay for half the daycare with out me taking him back to court. That can take up to 6 months. Working to pay for daycare is pointless . I need a job were I can work weekends when he has the kids and 6 to 10 at night when Tyler is ready for bed and not such a hassle for my girls. It is complicated

  • Gracie Ackerman
    Gracie Ackerman

    But the thing is I don’t owe you or my Facebook friends an explanation about my job or financial situation that is what makes me mad. To insinuate that I am lazy hurts my feelings and is degrading. I am not a drama queen because I am passionate

  • Facebook User
    Facebook User

    Question, if you have no financial help. How do you live and raise a family and pay for a club membership with no job? I’m not judging, it’s just a legitimate question, because we work 7 days a week, 12-16 hours a day and it would be nice not too. Raising 3 kids by yourself is hard work and completely thankless. Before you know it, they’ll be grown and gone.

  • Gracie Ackerman
    Gracie Ackerman

    I just joined 888888 fitness and I am going to apply there because they are open 24/7 and it is right by were u live so I can race home to my kids if they need me

    Dayleen am not going to get into my finances with you or anyone

    I don’t think it is fair that you even ask me for an explanation as to were I get the money for my kids

  • Facebook User
    Facebook User

    Gracie, you seriously are reading WAY too much into what I said. You are turning something into something it isn’t. I was trying to keep it light hearted. Sorry you don’t think so. Maybe think before you post. Since you can’t seem to understand how your words come across to people.

  • Gracie Ackerman
    Gracie Ackerman

    Maybe it is the other way around

    Please just stop insinuating that I am lazy

  • Facebook User
    Facebook User

    I couldn’t give a shit where your money comes from. You miss the point vim done with this. You refuse to see how what you say effects other people. All you do it come across like a victim if anyone says anything. I have enough drama in my life!

  • Gracie Ackerman

    You, Ed, Daniel and Lori are off my Facebook now you will not be offended by my supposed victim post or how I live my life. Hope you all have a great life and I hope everything works out for all of you. No hate just done, done, done , done with people pleasing

  • Facebook User
    Facebook User

    After all I’ve done for you this is the thanks I get.

  • Gracie Ackerman
    Gracie Ackerman

    If letting you help me means being available for smug attacks on my character I would rather not have that friendship as I don’t see that as true friendship. I am better off on my own

  • Facebook User
    Facebook User

    People are right. You’re crazy! You’ve taken the simplest of things and made it into some attack on you. You aren’t right in the head! No one has attacked you..grow up!! Stop whining about looking after your own children, you wanted them! Get a job and get into reality. No one was against you. YOU are your own worst enemy. You’ve made sure no one likes you. You’ve made a fool of yourself. You’ve created drama where there isn’t any. You live in a fantasy world. You invite sexual advances because you present yourself as a desperate woman. You have ruined your business contacts. You have ruined your own reputation. You are completely unprofessional. You’ve made your life what it is. You are a narcissist. You need to change, your nuts..not everyone else..YOU! I put my business reputation on the line supporting you publicly and this crazy fucked up shit it the thanks I get. Grow the fuck up!!!

I am the solution to the problem they have with me..

 

The problem is that I have taken on their problem.. my attitude to their problem has been to take the job of convincing them that they do indeed have a problem.. that I am not the problem but it is their attitudes about me; as to how they define what is and isn’t acceptable. I am not acceptable due to the fact that I am not like them..but that isn’t my problem so I have to stop taking on the attitude that I must fix them.. problem solved..

When I stop trying to convince them and I stop trying to fix them I can get on with my life purpose and passions in spite of them.. therefore I become the change I wish to see in the world..

It isn’t my problem that they may or may not come to change with the times.. it isn’t my problem that they wish to stay stagnant or in a hamster wheel..because they cannot or will not conceptualize change..

I am speaking about the professional world..but also about society in general..as to the root of the problem that inflicts my attitude of taking on being their savior.. I am not their Christ or Whipping Boy.. I am not taking on their sins.. I am not going to carry their crosses for them.. I will not die slowly for them.. I will not take on their angry, resentful and even hateful energy as my problem.. as the problem is theirs to own or deny.. it’s not my problem which they chose..

By not taking on their problem the problem evaporates.. it looses it’s power..it has no foundation..as it stops being a problem.. for me.

The professional world and society as a whole sees authenticity and open sexuality as threat.. because it shows those whom are not authentic and comfortable in their skin..that they are not authentic and comfortable in their skin..and so they label people like me as trouble makers, whores, ridiculous or absurd.. not to be taken seriously..to be socially shunned or seen as inappropriate …

Yet the new rage in the professional world is to use words like ( authentic ) as self promotion.. but when someone like me comes along who is truly authentic..we blow it up in their faces..

 

And so I have become aware of my weakness through how they perceive me.. I have let their perceptions of me..rule my mind and emotions..

When the truth is simply this.. I am much farther down the path of authenticity than they.. I am actually leading them..

Maybe one day some of them will catch up..???

THE TRUTH IS NEUTRAL

 

These comments are copied from my facebook, youtube, and email..  I have tried to maintain journalistic integrity.. I am simply attempting to show the truth without prejudice ..

First off I was simply attempting to reach these women with my message of equality.. I was attempting to communicate with them .. to show them how they were promoting inequality by placing higher value on other people that have wealth and influence in society.. also I am attempting to communicate with them that I wish to network with them and that I need their help to promote my book and message through their connections .. networking and publishing connections. What I have learned is that there is an intense prejudice in Kelowna.. or in the Okanagan due to how I have been treated as an individual without wealth or social connections by the women below and by their networking organizations such as Kelowna Women in Business.

 

In the last comment by Melonie Dodaro..she says that she did not know who I was until I commented on her facebook .. yet she was one of my first followers on Twitter .. I found KWIB through her online social connections to them as she was a member of the board in June 2012..I also tweeted her..and she answered me.. KWIB’s lawyer emailed me with their address when I named them when I filed my claim against them and another networking organization .. to the BC Human Rights Tribunal..due to prejudice against the sexuality of my book and website.. since she networks very closely still with KWIB it is highly unlikely that she does not know me.

 

As you will…come to your own conclusions..

 

From me.. Gracie Ackerman to Okanagan Women’s Magazine

 

I picked up and read your magazine at the local walk-in clinic.. I think you have the wrong woman on the cover. The Postpartum Hotline saved my life a few years back when I had just had my son. My now ex husband was having an affair on me and my sister was passing way from brain cancer..I was on the phone with these ladies often..and when I didn’t check in they called me. I think a woman promoting selfless acts of kindness deserves the recognition you bestowed upon a woman that all ready has everything. I don’t see the woman on the cover as a truly empowered woman as she was, and still is given a huge hand up by the men in her family. She was given the land, the education and the opportunity..she didn’t have to work for these things herself..although she maybe working the family investments..and land she is not a woman waging war on her own..as she seems to be very much daddy’s little girl or even princess.. you wrote about her juggling work and family..but I am sure given her income level and opportunity that she has nannies and maids that help her with her domestic chores..

 

I am wondering if she paid you to be put on the front cover and to be made the cover story to help promote her winery? Or is that your magazine only promotes the most affluent in our society? I do not believe that this woman represents the average Okanagan Woman..this is the title of you magazine ..so why are you not promoting us? It seems that you have given us an unreasonable role model to live up to.. how many women are given big chunks of land to groom into successful wineries? I don’t believe that your magazine promotes woman’s empowerment..as it seems the title of one of your articles says ( handing over control) bad choice of wording I fear.. I would like to see you write about and promote empowered women.. women who have made it or who are attempting to make it..without daddy’s help.. or without being fully indorsed by male money..

 

I take up issue with most of the magazines in the Okanagan as they seem to promote affluence.. intense wealth and greed.. there seems to be little substance. intellectual thought or any depth included in most of the articles..and then when you do have a great cover story you past it by making it secondary to write an article that is shallow at best.

 

To conclude.. Okanagan Woman does not represent Okanagan Women

 

Okanagan’s Women’s Magazine reply to me

Hi Gracie

Sadly, I had no option but to remove your post. :-(   You are entitled to

your opinion, which I am happy to print, but your comments were a personal

attack on a woman who graciously consented to being featured in Okanagan

Woman magazine. Your language was aggressive and had a bullying tone. I will

not tolerate that.

 

I am very glad that you were able to receive the support you needed from The

Postpartum Hotline. We featured Tascheleia Marangoni, the founder of the

Postpartum Depression Awareness Project in our SheRoes section because of

her dedication to perinatal mood disorders.  We hope that story encourages

others suffering from post partum depression to seek out PPDAs services and

know they are not alone. I’m sure you will agree that this is not a shallow

or fluffy subject.

 

We published a story about a woman who lost her mentally ill son and her

crusade to find him and to help others in similar situations. I don’t think

her story is shallow or fluffy. Are Wendy Bosma and Tascheleia Marangoni

“real women” by your definition?

 

Okanagan Woman magazine celebrates ALL women, regardless of their financial

situation. The Okanagan is comprised of women from all walks of life and we

celebrate them all.

The cover model is chosen based on the merits of the photo. We believe a

beautiful woman in a beautiful dress and gumboots, walking in an orchard is

very symbolic of Okanagan women.  Jennifer Turton-Molgat was born and raised

in the Okanagan and has inherited the same strong work ethic of her

ancestors. She runs a successful winery and gives back to the community

through The View Cares: Red Shoe Program which raises funds and donates

thousands of bottles to charity and community events. Surely, that isn’t

frivolous.

 

There is no shortage of deserving, wonderful Okanagan women; but there is

only room for one of them  on the cover.  We believe we made an excellent

choice and we are thrilled that Jennifer Turton-Molgat allowed us to use her

photo.

 

I see that you have a lot of passion to change the world. You CAN effect the

change you want to see, however, you might be more effective by offering

kind, honest criticism, rather than hostile, vehement remarks. Our Facebook

page allows readers and fans to inform, inspire and celebrate women from the

Okanagan. It is not meant for individuals to make judgemental and cruel

comments about ANY woman. For that reason I removed your post.

 

Okanagan Woman is not trying to be perfect. We are simply a small business,

doing our best. Remember, be kind – you never know what other people are

going through.

 

Best regards

TJ Wallis

Publisher/Editor

 

My Posting on Melonie  Dodaro’s  face book

 

I am not one of your friends; you blocked me on twitter for simply saying that one of your tweets didn’t help small business; that it could only be meant for large corporations how was that comment worth blocking me over? It was not a personal attack on you; I simply stated that the information was not useful to me.. How is it that someone that uses her voice to make a living will not allow me to have a voice or an opinion? I have been treated very unfairly by you and the networking community that you call your friends and business associates.. as I have been labeled as ( inappropriate) I have been shut out of the networking community..and even on social networking you all block me. Your a hypocritical and going by your actions of socially shunning me due to the sexual nature of my work ( sacred sexuality and the Goddess archetype) you all seem to be very sexually immature and lacking in sexual education or understanding arts and culture as my book and photography are also considered to be such. I have simply wanted to learn how to market my book and to find a platform to speak about my work.. simply by your actions and by the actions of others that you network with you are in need of this new information. It is simply a new culture.. a new way to look at sexuality and women’s sexuality ..all issues pertaining to equality. You have all treated me with prejudice and with inequality by shutting me out.. I am like the colored woman be told to get to the back of the bus were I belong.. this is prejudice due to my artistic expression of sexuality and also it is religious prejudice ..as it seems you are all Christian owned and operated business that network together. To many fundamental Christians the Goddess may seem satanic..this is also a lack of understanding. I use Carl Jung`s archetypes to help take the sigma away from the Goddess.. You are all sorely misunderstanding the meaning behind my work. I am sure now you will take me off your facebook..but at least I have had my say and have not been silenced by you via social networking before I could.. Like I said ironic that you promote social networking and face to face networking while shutting me out..just because I don`t fit into your mold.

 

Melonie Dodaro’s reply to me on her Youtube Video.. I do not have an exact copy of my comment to her as she deleted it.. but it was something like

“ At least I am open minded enough to use your information to help me with my linkedin profile and not be prejudiced against your information by the way you treat me.”

Melonie Dodaro’s reply to me via youtube that I couldn’t reply to because she blocked me off of youtube, twitter and facebook.

Gracie I am glad you enjoyed my video. Yes I have blocked you from Twitter & now from Facebook due to inappropriate comments. Until today I had no idea who you were or what you do until your personal attack on my Facebook profile. I use social media to provide value and build positive relationships. Anyone who is negative, critical or just plain nasty I absolutely block. I wish you nothing but success with your business but will not allow my personal profiles to used for negativity of any kind!

 

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