Posts Tagged ‘Masculinity’

The Injured Masculine

 

 

This writing is based on a dream I had last night..as many a wisdom comes to me from this place of spirituality.. or the place of unseen.. of nothing that takes shape in understanding..the vault of WISOM.

In dreams of course.. you are everything that you dream about and everything is you..there is no separation as all is whole.. it is in this..that we learn.

This masculine entity that I was faced with in my dream is indeed me..as the whole soul has both sexes within .. as it is sexless..but then gain it is the Mother, Father and the Child..this entity was indeed my masculine self.. injured.. so let us begin into the land of dreams and the dream it’s self.

I found myself walking in a market place..a timeless market…as it was made of stone.. grey and open.. benches and tables.. walkways .. and such all of stone with trees in between..such as it is in dreams.. a timeless place.

People walked about..going about the things they always do.. and of course being a MARKET place it was full of women ( this word of course… MARKET.. meaning on display and ready for purchase..as many men who are injured view women)

And so it was that a man grabbed my wrist.. pulling me tight to him..hurting me slightly and putting his MARK on me.. it was meant as a complement ..as there were many women he could chose from.. as I turned into him..as I saw him .. he arose as a giant man..all in black.. ( as it is the subconscious) a cruel look to his face.. a twisted smile.. dark hair and eyes..dark trimmed beard.. dressed like a pirate.. a robber..a thief..a criminal of the heart..

He then told me what he wanted from me… he instructed me ” I want you to cook like my mother, I want you to uphold my dreams and put yours aside for mine, I want you to turn a blind eye as I look at and court other women.. as I need to have the best to remind me and others that I am the best.. I will spend some of my money on you at first.. I will buy you flowers..and nice things and take you to nice places.. I will make passionate love to you..but I will not completely give you my heart..just a tiny piece..but I will take all of yours..and when I know I have you captured.. I will remind you of my power..as I will deny myself to you to keep you close to me..as you are my ego feed.. and I will spend my money on me.. I will have fast cars, I will have my big home.. I will put my work before you and I will use it as an excuse to keep myself from true intimacy from you.. I will say my work keeps you, I will say my work is divine..and that you are selfish if you do not let me ignore you for this..as my identity to my fame and fortune make me a MAN OF THE WORLD.. My identity feeds me.. My identity is my entity.. yes it keeps me from truly knowing me as do women like you.. you are my crutch.. you are my way out of being alone with myself.. I need you to feed me..as I do, my fake face that I offer up to to the world.. I need to be adored and seen as the chosen one.. I need to be seen as the man that holds up everything..and so it must be that I stand over you..and I use you to hold up me”

I looked at him in all of his HUGENESS.. I looked at him..as he was the story he told himself he was.. I looked at him .. A LEGEND in his own mind..The ADVENTURER.. THE PIRATE, THE MAN OF THE WORLD.. THE CASANOVA .. yes this was him to himself..but then I saw the illusion fall as I gave it no notice at all.. and it did fall..

A black dust .. a dark matter.. yes.. he started to shatter..as I gave him no notice at all..

I turned my back on his lie… as he was the lie that he told himself.. and he was the lie that I wanted to believe.. he was the fantasy.. the fantasy that fell as I gave him no notice at all.

It was then ..with my back to him that he begged me to look at him.. but I declined.. and he said to me ” What is it that you want from me?’

And I said to him ” Nothing that money can buy. Nothing that anyone can give to you.. it is something that you have to give yourself.’

He said with fear ” What is it?”

I said to him ” Love your authentic self.”

I heard him cry..” What else?”

I said to him ” That is all.”

I say to you.. there is nothing more to do… as only the heart.. it is only the heart.. it is only the heart..it is all in the heart,

Nothing else.

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