I think that during my entire lifetime, up until this very point I have been on a journey towards owning my feminism. I suppose I haven’t quite understood what feminism is myself as the topic and movement have been made quite complicated by those who oppose it. The majority of those that oppose feminism or equality towards women are traditionalists that are comfortable in their conformity and entitlement. The women whom repress themselves I have learned through study have internalized misogyny. Internalized misogyny is when a woman unconsciously and consciously chooses to believe her sex to be inferior compared to men and so she must follow the rules of a patriarchial society for her own good, because she believes that her female hormones in her female body cause her to be not as intelligent or as competent as a man.
I have learned about the 4 waves of feminism and upon studying and researching this I now understand why some feminist think women like me who empower themselves through their sexuality are not feminists. It is because the second wave of feminist believed that women who displayed their sexuality were self objectifying themselves; therefore asking men to objectify them. I have since researched why it is almost impossible for a woman to objectify herself. It is not probable for a woman to objectify herself unless she sees herself as an actual object, sexuality is natural and our bodies are who we are, it is not the woman being sexy or sensual that is objectying heself but it is the lens that society has placed on women’s sexuality that objectifies a woman or women. You don’t self objectify by expressing or being your sexuality, but your sexuality can and has been used by big corperations and media to sell objects and that is objectification. Both men and women can be objectified through this lens but it is mainly women who are objectified in society run by corperations. Second wave feminist like Gloria Steinem divoced themselves from their sexuality so that men would stop objectifying them. Gloria Steinem accused Madonna the Pop Artist of self objectification, and according to Madonna she told her that she was not a true feminist because of her self objectification. But as I have stated that is a false concept. Many second wave feminist will see me much like Gloria has viewed Madonna. I found this out contacting a second wave feminist publishing house, they published a book on the ancient goddess to empower women but they found my nude or semi nude pictures of me as the goddess to be self objectifing. These woman have done so much for feminism but this is why the 3 rd wave was needed to further reform feminism.
But going back to the 1 st wave of feminism. The first wave of feminism was the martyr phase as women called themselves The Women’s Suffrage and suffer they did for all women to get the vote, they were beatenin the streets and went on long hunger strikes in protests, they were met with violence and hatred from the male based or patriarchal legal system as they attempted to make women people and not objects to be owned by their husbands and fathers. They had to shine a light onto the victimhood placed upon women and children under the control of men who were given the power and entitlement to turn violent and brutish at will.
Back to the second wave of feminism; the second wave was begining to adress rape culture by addressing pornography and the objectification of women’s sexuality; but by adressing this many feminist of that time stripped themselves of their own sexuality so as not be seen as self objectifying and this caused the feminist sex wars. Of course pornography needed to be adressed as it was and still is using women’s sexuality to sell product. Pornography was selling and sometimes still is selling the world on rape culture as it deplicts men’s orgams and men’s sexual satisfaction over women’s and it puts women into victim roles, and roles of domestic abuse. Pornography and the media also promoted and still promtes a unattainable body image towards women. Pornography created through the lens of the patriarchy or male entitlement is abusive towards women and if taken in that context it can and has cause violence and other abuses towards women. But taking sexuality away from women as being self objectification has caused women to erode there true empowerment by denying there basic nature; much like what happens in and through the lens of religion.
And so with that we see the 3 rd wave of a more modern day feminism that promotes the ideal of women stepping into their power through embrassing their sexuality, and loving the natural and unique curves of a realistic body type that is simply their own. We as 3rd and 4th wave feminist understand that the 1 st and 2 nd waves of feminism were needed as towards the evolution of feminism and we also understand that feminism will continue to evolve but; 3 rd and 4 th wave feminist are working to abolish the sterotypes placed upon feminist as ball bashing, angry, anti man haters. Many 3 rd and 4 th wave feminists even have difficulty with the word feminist as a way to define them because they feel it excludes men in the wording. I myself have had this conversation with my daughers who are 15 and 17 as to what young girls their ages think of the word feminism. They have told me ” We like the word humanism ” Listening to my daughers and other girls their age, I think it makes sense, because in order for feminism to work it has to include all of humanity. Many men who fear feminism fear that they are disposable to women and no longer are needed in their role of protectors; the truth be tol, that if a man believes and up holds the value of women as equals and is willing to act and speak out in the defence of equality he is very much needed by women and all of humanity. The modern day feminist or humanist is about the intesection of all these roads, towards justice and equality for all.
I am a 4th wave feminist as I use social media to attempt to share and enlighten others towards justice, equality and social acceptance of all humanity. I believe we need to constantly be reforming religion, laws and politics just as often as we have been reforming feminism towards humanism as women have only wanted to be treated as having ownership over themselves just as men do. The feminist/humanist believes in sexual freedom, race and gender equality and a free flowing spirtuality over the dogma, repression and diversion of religion.
As a 4th wave I own my sexuality, I express my sexuality as artistic and empowering and I believe everyone has a right to chose modesty or nudity, chastity or to explore their sexuality on their own terms.
As we all know those who love to practice misogyny don’t want to see vagina’s owning themselves and running free to cause rebellion and havoc upon a perfectly constructed society based on male rule and the worship of the penis. I found this out just recently at a local redneck gym ran by a redneck and his male friends. It turns out that these guys want to see women working out to create a body that is perfect for the male gaze or judgment vs for their own health or athletic standards; you see that would mean those sweaty vagina’s would be free and we can’t have that. We can’t have that because then it would impact these men to the point of having to please someone other than themselves; and god forbid that they would actually have to figure out how to bring a woman to orgasm and finally be forced to figure out just were the effing clitoris is actually located. You see vagina’s that are held in captivity by the ownership of a husband or boyfriend are just existing for the pure sake of male penetration and for the male orgasm which must come first ( pun intended ) cum first.. get it? So that is why vagina’s have penetration pricing; that is how you make a wild vagina into a tame vagina because of such low pay placed on to those with wild vagina’s the vagina must submit to male ownership by relationship or marriage so that the vagina can afford the basics for survival. If you give the vagina treats such as a nice wedding, diamond rings, and shopping trips with the odd holiday get-away thrown in than you are able to domesticate the wild vagina into the ways of organized misogyny. Wild vagina’s like mine are considered a threat by the Gang Of Misogyny because they can tempt the other domesticated vagina’s back into the wild by their love of rebellion and vibrators.
The wild vagina is free to think thoughts of it’s own as it doesn’t have a male owner constantly yapping and brainwashing misogynistic dogma and threats at it, that cause it to undermine it’s patterns of free flowing thoughts towards things like running it’s own business and writing disgusting ( fun ) blog post like this. The wild vagina will lead the domestic and tamed vagina’s into thoughts of rebelling against it’s male master by demanding that it’s orgasmic needs must be met before male penis penetration or ejaculation, the wild vagina is the black sheep of the domestic vagina and it will cause the tame vaginas to wander outside of the male boundaries or fences placed around them to keep them in the kitchen baking apple pies, knitting and thinking about having yet another baby to fill their craving for the freedom of the unknown.
The wild vagina is the newly divorced friend of your wife or girlfriend; or her sister that refuses to settle down, when she comes a knocking she awakens the rebel within your woman causing her to think her own thoughts, want her own way. She manages to get her to recall her dreams that she put aside so that you could make your dreams top priority. The wild vagina is a gypsy that dances in the middle of the night with a bottle of wine in hand talking back to those men who tell her to be more lady like.. and she seduces the tame and domesticated vagina’s to want to run free into the night. She encourages the domesticated and collared vaginas to want to orgasm and explore what is deep within the creamy swells of her own thighs.. and the misogynist thinks ” What if she finds out her vibrator can give her more satisfaction that I can and those bible verses are all bullshit that I use to keep her chained to an ideal of womanhood that is based on just the pleasure of men.. what if she starts to seek out her own pleasure and thoughts?”
And so the misogynist chase away the rebellious and free vagina’s to keep the white sheep in the corral and in the kitchen.. they call the wild vaginas sluts, whores and fornicators.
Off into the night the wild vagina goes with the free ass dude on his Harley that knows never to tame the wild vagina’s because they are the best kind.
For the dumb ass people who don’t get this post it is pure sarcasm. It is to show the stupidity of society when it comes to women’s sexuality, as to how threatening single women can be treated and judged by scared and ignorant men as well as jealous women who have internalized male misogyny by being constantly brainwashed by misogynistic dogma or even religion.
Keep the vagina’s wild and free my friends and to those domesticated vagina’s you know how much you love your gypsy friends.
Every time I post a comment on a new’s feed on Facebook people will say to me ” Your profile picture is a contradiction. It’s silly and ironic that you say you are a feminist while you self objectify with your online image.” My online image has been a problem for me, you see others in the professional world judge me as self objectifying and so they believe this gives them an excuse to treat me with no respect or even to dehumanize me. Because of other’s judging me through a lens of ignorance I am treated by them with total disrespect, as they assume I don’t respect myself because I glorify my body and sexuality.
To get to the point. When a woman acknowledges her femininity and sexuality she isn’t objectifying herself she is whole, she understands that she is her body and her sexuality and is loving her femininity or womanhood. A woman who hates her body and runs away or denies her femininity and sees her sexuality as bad, evil, sinful or slutty is in fact practicing internalized misogyny, she thinks that stepping into her sexuality of femininity will make her less of a person or even dehumanize her to herself and to others. A woman that is internalizing misogyny is often the one calling other women who are comfortable in their bodies, sexuality and sexual expression .. sluts and whores..because she fears being called this herself by others.
Women who have internalized misogyny will often call themselves feminist, and these feminist often man up or make themselves unfeminine, these feminist often tell women who glorify and honor their femininity and sexuality that they are self objectifying and don’t deserve respect or to be taken seriously. Often these women will rage and rant online and off line about women who are whole and healthy in their sexuality because they are afraid to step into their own bodies and own themselves as whole beings.
The patriarchy; a male base social power system that runs society objectifies women by putting women into their lens of approval. Media and the entertainment industry use women to make money while paying them a fraction of what they make off of women’s sexuality. Religion and State mandate women’s wombs and bodies, and that says that women are objects. Women are either virgins or whores through the lens of patriarchy.. we are not whole human beings and our bodies are not our own to regulate as far as they are concerned. And so it is through the lens of other’s judgments that we are objectified… being sexy and sensual as a woman is not self objectification, rather it is being whole and healthy, natural and comfortable in your own skin.
The sad part about female internalized misogyny is that women have been brainwashed into hating their own bodies and sexuality as well as hating on other women. Through internalized misogyny we see other women blaming other women for being raped by judging them as asking for it by the way they present themselves as objects of desire, this is rape culture thinking.
To get down to the point of this post.. a beautiful and sexy woman isn’t self objectifying but rather you are projecting your internalized misogyny onto her ( if you are a woman ) or projecting your misogyny onto her ( if you are a man )
Misogynist believe that woman are here for men, that we exist for the male gaze and for male approval and that women don’t have a voice, a personality or a thought unless it has been given and validated by a man.
The patriarchy hates the feminine because it fears loosing power and control should the feminine rise to an equal balance with the masculine..and that is why the feminine and the feminine sex is repressed by hate speech, violence and rape..
But the world needs the feminine to rise so that all of humanity can become healthy, healed and whole.. so next time you see a woman expressing her femininity respect her because she is actually saving humanity from the brutality of the patriarchy, and in a spiritual understanding she is a Goddess, she is honoring The Divine Feminine.
The Eclipse in Pisces has been a real emotional and spiritual roller coaster ride for me.. as my spiritual guides came back to me with a force. I was reminded of my souls purpose and life path; and I was told to let go of my ego or be dragged along an ugly path by it. You see it wasn’t ever my intent to become or try to become famous by writing my book or putting up my online profile. It was my soul’s intent to deliver a spiritual message to the world for the divine, or cosmic energy. After I put up my profiles and started to self promote my book and message.. I was told by others that I was fame hungry and that I was self branding by going topless in the photography in my book, and on my website. Of course this is how worldly people would view me as they are socially brainwashed by what exists in the media towards how women’s sexuality is promoted. Need I remind my reader that society deems, that a woman who uses her body or sexuality to promote herself is judged as an attention whore or quite simply a whore..and so I was told by many over and over again that my message wasn’t spiritual in nature but selfish and pretentious.
The first dream from my guides was given to me 2 nights before the eclipse .. in the dream my Angels had me put my book ( Message ) in a bottle. I walked with them on a sea of stars as the told me to release my message in a bottle to the cosmos..and so I set it free to float down the river of stars…and then they reminded me ..they said ” The message was for you to let go of. You are an instrument of the divine, yet you will not see worldly fame for this message, the message will reach the right place at the right time.” In the dream I wept; and my tears became one with the stars..and the Angels said ” Let it go Grace, you have lived out your divine purpose by creating what will inspire the next generation of Goddesses.. let it go and let us do the work now. Go on and enjoy the rest of your time on Earth.. go and find peace.” As I began to awaken, I heard them call out to me ” We will send you a sign that you cannot deny as the truth..that will set you free.”
And so in my waking life I waited for a sign.. but they brought another dream to me.. I was with the pop star Madonna in my dream. She wasn’t dressed to be on stage; she looked relaxed like she was on vacation. She wore little make up and she was dressed in loose fitting white clothing..she said ” Grace come and sit will me, I have a message from your Angels for you.” and so I sat with her on the wicker and she played with my hair like a mother does to her daughter..and she said to me ” George Stroumboulopoulos was right Grace.. the message is for the next generation, the world is too fucked up to get it. Do you give women of power permission to promote this message? Grace will you let your ego die?.. now is the time.. the time to throw your ego’s pride onto the fire.. to ashes with it Grace.” I looked at her with tears in my eyes and I said to her ” I only want the message to make it through. I want women to be free from a culture that sexually shames us and own’s us as things for sale.. that blames us for being raped and murdered…that tells us it is our fault for being to open, loving, beautiful and vulnerable..that tells men with this, that it is their right to own our bodies and sexuality.. yes I am ready to release the message to whom ever will do it justice.” and I wept. Then she said to me ” Grace you are to pure for fame. You were never meant to be famous because the world eats people like you up. There are horrible empty souls that walk the entertainment industry that would drain you of that shine. You are like a child.” as she said so I became a child on her lap.. with a round face as she twirled my hair in her hands to make it into a twisted bun shape..and then she held up a mirror..and said ” See your soul self.” and I saw a child in pure white, with a pure round face.. and then I awoke..
And then all day I looked for the sign.. or waited for the sign.. I read my dream book..and looked up the images..and in searching for the meaning of the dream I went to Madonna’s twitter to look at images of her..and that is when I came upon this picture of her and her children..and yes this is exactly how she and I looked in the dream.. I was the child on her lap
I know my reader.. you may think I made this all up. That I went to her twitter and found this image and then made the story up around the image.. but I didn’t. That is the way the spirit or the divine does these things though.. it’s unexplained.. many times there isn’t any real tangible proof; yet the sign is real to me that I was spoken to directly from the other side. Carl Jung believed that souls meet in dreams to speak to one another..This eclipse took place in the North Node of my astrological star map.. Pisces is my North Node or my life path direction.. Pisces is about spiritual sacrifices made to benefit all of creation..and so it is very Christ like..to make a sacrifice with out any personal benefit to the self..
There were many other slight things that happened to me as well that were meant to drive home the message..a friend telling me she wanted ” 15 mins of fame” and my guides telling me.. ” Not everyone is meant to be famous.” and then just today another parent brought up the famous in a conversation with me..and it was deep.. the end of the conversation I knew my guides were speaking through him as some people whom I don’t know, know me because of my online work..and they will come up and tell me. I am not comfortable with fame.. I just want to listen and watch .. to hear the spirit world talk.. and let my ego die..
I like being infamous because as a spiritualist and artist I need to walk unnoticed.
The reason we compete is to gain the approval of others and to qualify ourselves as better than others.. the truly strong or empowered know they are their own competition. I am not just talking about sports.. I am talking about life. Since writing my blog and website I have had many women assume that I put my topless pictures online and have written about my sexuality simply to get male and media attention. I understand the assumptions and the confusion as many women and men use their sexuality online to compete against others and simply for the sake of attention.. like getting 15 min of fame.. like making stupid people famous.. becoming famous for showing tits and ass.. with no other reason except for the sake of deep rooted insecurities and immaturities. I used my nudity in a very calculated and intellectual way to promote natural sexuality and sexual health… to out sexual repression. Quite frankly when another woman poses herself as my competition online or in my daily life I think it is a ridiculous waste of her time and energy.. if she truly wants to be great she should just be herself.. if she truly wants to be great she should do something for humanity outside of herself.. and I think when other women compete against other women they are comparing themselves..if you are truly an empowered woman you know no one can compare to you..as you are unique.. I truly empowered woman is not a brand she is an icon.
In a competition you compete were your so called competitors are competing .. and you have accepted them as your competition by allowing it and accepting them as such.. the iconic run their own race..and metaphorically speaking; it’s a jump off a very high cliff..and they build their wings the way down… this isn’t a race against any competition.. no one else has racing numbers pinned to them.. running beside them ..with a predetermined start and finish line.. you see; for the iconic the finish line is their last breath.. it’s a risk of falling from grace.. to climb all the way back up to the top with a pack full of lessons.. when they plant that flag.. the flag of ” Fuck you ” fuck you.. to the ordinary.. the daily grind.. fuck you to the I wanna be just like them so I can fit in.. fuck you to coloring in the lines..fuck you to rules..fucking stupid rules that keep you on a track already defined by others.. defined by fear..and fuck you to fear.. NO FEAR!
I am not going to stand up in a line up of bikini clad women..who have stripped all the fat off their bodies to see who can look most like the mold ( white ) by white I mean the white entitled definition of beauty were every single women in a beauty contest has to try to look as European as possible.. break that fucking mold.. why the fuck do you want to look like everyone else? Why the fuck do you want to look like the most polished version of plastic crap? Real empowered women don’t compete against other women..they don’t do fashion shoots all lined up with their asses sticking out.. looking like a dime-a-dozen.. looking like they blend one into the other..” Take your pic..or fuck them all” nothing new here.. nothing different.. nothing exciting.. take a good look then move along and forget about it…nothing to remember here.. just the same old..same old ..same as it always was.. women dumbing themselves down to fit into the box.. to fit the mold of beauty lost..the beauty of imperfections and character.. it’s just plastic perfection and the projection of insecurities of women clawing over each other fake eyelashes and nails.. bleached blond, crunchy.. overly processed hair..
But you did something.. or so you think.. you got a trophy and a plastic crown to go with your plastic perfection.. you showed those other bitches who the best and biggest bitch is.. but you are lost.. lost in a rat-race, circle of competition.. lost your true self or any real message.. lost yourself in comparing apples to oranges.. trying to be one.. when you were a peach… but peaches are not trendy right now.. so you had to make yourself into what you are not… and so you blend right in.. all the magic in you lost for nothing… and what you won was the same thing the next girl will win..and you will blend into the pictures on the wall of tinsel fame..that means nothing at all..
It’s degrading.. it’s downgrading … it’s a chipping away of the perfectly/imperfect Goddess that you are..
To take this post in another direction.. I have recently been reading post on The Globe and Mail that feminists are starting to wear granny panties vs thong panties and they are not shaving their legs or arm pits..seems to me that feminist are also being placed into a box by media… it is to say that you have to follow this look of going against what is seen as typical beauty to be a feminist..as if being a feminist means being ugly .. like would you stop showering if it labeled you as a feminist by the media and the world? It is to say that you have to look like this mold or version of a feminist to be taken seriously in the world as a feminist.. well fuck that shit.. A feminist is who the fuck she wants to be.. a feminist is herself..
So write your own story.. create your own art..stop stealing from others.. be original..be an icon.. break the mold..color outside of the lines..wear your freckles with pride.. rock your curves.. be proud of your sexuality.. your own body.. take a leap of faith.. get off the beaten path.. free yourself of mediocrity..don’t be a carbon copy.
http://bookstore.balboapress.com/Products/SKU-000576933/The-Goddess-an-Expression-of-the-Divine-Feminine.aspx link to my book
Or she isn’t doing it for attention.. you are a fucking asshole.. a misogynistic woman hating; chauvinist pig.. and you hate her because you can’t have her.. because she knows you are a misogynist, woman hating pig..and she wouldn’t let you touch her with another woman’s vagina..or another man’s dick..
She is pretty you are a piece of crap.. she isn’t a whore.. whore is a subjective term used by men like you.. and so what if she wants attention; it’s normal to want attention from the opposite sex when your looking for a mate, for both men and women. .. it’s her body to do with what she wants.. go fuck yourself.
I had a conversation just now with a younger woman from my gym who goes topless at a local beach. I went topless with her last summer when Lori Welbourne was pretending to give a shit about the issue to get on the Ellen Degeneres Show.. to recap Lori found out about my book and website through Facebook.. used the issue of women’s sexual repression and many of my ideas to float her own show boat. It didn’t work out for her because she is an asshole ..she couldn’t handle the heat..and a lot of the stuff she did was intended to secretly make a mockery of me so that she could gain favor in our local community clicks..” well Karma is only a bitch if you are Lori..” but anyway Lori promoted this younger woman on her Facebook.. me still thinking Lori was my friend..well I showed up and actually went topless with this girl.. while Lori was missing in action ( Typical of people in Kelowna.. not practicing what they post ) bullshitters.
But the young woman showed me a picture of herself topless on the same beach.. with her graduation cap on.. when I was putting my make up on in the gym change room. I told her she was brave.. she told me how passionate she felt about women’s topless rights..then we started to talk about my book.. basically her message to me was that my book was irrelevant to intellectual circles and women’s advocate groups because it’s just me, my story.. my image as seven different Goddess archetypes .. my perspective was a mute point because it wasn’t based on hard core data or I didn’t cite my research in the book..but she was relevant because she just graded with a degree and she was on the beach not looking for attention but making ground in Kelowna.
I tried to tell her my book isn’t just for intellectuals ..but for every woman and that every woman’s story is relevant just based on their experience and perspective.. like the micro in the macro.. I tried to explain the archetypes because she wasn’t aware of them. I tied to explain the prejudice in our local arts community due to patrons of the arts being very religions and conservative. Tried to explain to her that my book was much bigger than just a beach.. that putting my website out to the whole world was meant to cover much more ground than just a small unknown beach.. not that what she was doing was irrelevant at all..
I tried to explain world wide religious repression of women’s sexuality, including in our culture, that has caused the repression of my work and my personal sexuality due to my work in our community..but she wanted data.. just like a good student that just graded would.. I tried to explain to her reality vs just hard, cold data and stats.. and then I tried to explain to her that even if a woman was going topless on a beach for attention it doesn’t matter because lots of men go topless for sexual attention.
I tried to explain to her about artistic expression and how that it is just as intellectual as data..if not more so because you have to use your own mind and perspective to appreciate art and literature ..it’s not just data it’s painting with words and images.. but she clearly didn’t understand that.
She didn’t understand what it’s like to put it out there on a larger scale.. what it’s like not to have a boyfriend to sit with me topless on a beach..as I am topless on the web without male protection.. and she didn’t understand that the cops on the beach in the background of her cell phone pic; were actually protecting her and the other woman that were going topless on the beach.. I don’t have that protection.. this is the hard cold reality of a woman expressing her sexuality .. it’s not all hard cold data and studies.. this is the real deal.. a real woman’s story and I think every woman has or will go through the shit I write about to some degree or another.. just for looking sexy or being a sexual being on her own terms or on male patriarchal sexual control forms, like playboy..
I don’t think my story; writing or work..is irrelevant.. just as I think every woman’s story is relevant.. including hers.. I truly hope she totally wins that beach over for all women who want to practice their right to be topless were men can be topless..as I hope for my success as well..to be found and picked up by a publishing house or some big time celeb who will help me fly this dream for the sake of all women..
As for Lori.. it’s a damn shame that other women have to attempt to build a false dream on the real dreams of other women.. that is sad..very sad.. women must stop the competition for a true sisterhood and or Goddess Movement to emerge from the ashes of a Patriarchy we wish to burn down to the nasty roots it sprung from.
http://bookstore.balboapress.com/Products/SKU-000576933/The-Goddess-an-Expression-of-the-Divine-Feminine.aspx find my book on this link