Posts Tagged ‘lucid dreaming’

Coming To My Senses

 

When I wasn’t even fully awake this morning; my eyes not yet even open, the thought that came into my consciousness was ” No more assholes.”  I was waking up in the country to open my drapes to see the snow covered mountains to the sound of the early morning train. I love the sound of the train at night and the coyotes. The coyotes sound so hauntingly beautiful and mysterious on the cold and snowy winter nights. I woke up to waking up; to a feeling of coming back to my senses or the center of myself. It was a peaceful yet a radical awakening as I realized I didn’t ever have to fight anyone for anything when I was living in the city of Kelowna. I realized I didn’t even have to move to Kelowna to create my book and I realized, I can and I will, create whatever the fuck I want, whenever I fucking want to. When I left the city I left them to their own devices and I realized upon awakening that I always should have. I should of never cared what they thought of me or how they labeled me to suit their own purposes and insecurities. There ignorance was theirs to own not for me to trouble myself with even addressing, towards giving them or their issues any of my time.

My soul feels nourished once more and I do feel whole once more and reborn into myself and my own internal power. It is like I walked back into a mirror to walk into myself. All the names that they called me and all the things that they would have me believe myself to be, have fallen away and they are with them in Kelowna.

Before I awoke to my thought of ” No more assholes.” I had a dream. In my dream I was in a hologram and I was erasing parts of the illusion until it was gone. I stepped out of the hologram and back into my own life.. and so it was that Kelowna, I was in a 6 year bad dream that I allowed to be real by accepting the illusions that others projected towards me. My dream was my subconscious becoming conscious and awakening me to myself while I awoke. It was a dream of everyday magic; and that my friends is true awareness.

I have a new attitude towards my life now, I have a new attitude towards others who question my life and me as a person ( You are not my problem and I don’t have to explain a damn thing to you about my choices or my life )

I don’t need to fight anyone to be heard. If you don’t want to hear me that is your choice and it’s my choice not to give a damn and my choice to move towards life and happiness and way from assholes.

I am not going to waste my life and that is my time here on this planet, attempting to be the asshole whisperer. I am going to walk towards the light and happiness and teach my children to do the same. I am going to spend my time and energy on people who respect me, love me and who want to hear my message. I am turning my attention towards love, hope and joy. I am being fully emotionally present with my children, as in the past asshole’s nasty energy took my energy and time away from my kids. Not anymore. I am turning my back on all those who don’t matter and giving my love and attention to those who do..including myself.

I know logically it will take another 100 years or so before women have the same sexual freedoms and rights as men. I have done my part for society and for the human race upon writing my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) available on Amazon.ca

So now I am going to let it ride on the hands of fate. I will keep writing, but I am not pushing and I am not fighting.. what is meant to be will be.. I am going to enjoy my life and peace.

E=MC2 The Relativity of Reality

 

I was dreaming about Albert Einstein again.. we were at his wooden desk..and the black board was wiped clean behind him.. his desk was empty.. he sat on the other side ..smiling a big warm smile..and he said to me..” I think to much” and he laughed.. I laughed..then he said with a chuckle ” I proved reality isn’t real..but you can’t tell people that because they will think you are crazy.” we both laughed some more.. I knew he was going to teach me something..he knew I knew..so he got right to it..

He stood up and turned off the lights..it was pitch black and totally silent.. he asked me ” what do you see?” I said ” Nothing but darkness” he said ” Do you think everything is still here in the room?” I said ” Yes” he said “Why do you think everything is still in the room if you can’t see it.” I said “Because I saw it before you turned off the lights.” He said..” Ahhhh.. you believe it still exists then?” He turned the light off and on several times.. then he said to me ” Reality is just a belief..and your body is just a simple measuring tool to gauge reality with.”.. He said ” If the human body is a tool of measurement ..it’s measurements are only as good as it’s sensitivity or senses..and so if it’s senses are incomplete it can only measure reality by it’s lens of perception. That means that a human’s perceptions of reality are incomplete..but then what is reality anyway?”

He went on to explain the creation of reality ..he said ” Reality is a mass illusion of the consciousness that creates it..and because there are many levels of consciousness created by different levels of life forms at different levels of awareness.. reality is subjective to the observer and the mass pools of perception projecting their beliefs onto unavailable energy sources..these sources of energy are without form or mass…but given form by the intention of beliefs; this is quantum theory or quantum physics.”

‘What do you think is the source of intention?” he asked me with a knowing grin.. I said ” I am sure you know.” we both laughed as he shared more of his genius ” Intention is emotion..and so love or loving intentions create higher forms of consciousness..and so higher life forms create a more pure or civilized reality.. fear is the emotion of self destruction…and so lower lifeforms ..those of lowered intelligence create a destructive and violent reality.. humanity is rising in consciousness… but not all humanity will rise. Wormholes are the interconnected passageways of different levels of consciousness or realities..dimensions .. doorways between higher and lower levels of awareness..as the cosmos is aware of it’s self.. so some will incarnate back to lower lifeforms..some will still have human levels or stories to learn and incarnate as energy in the mass or form of humans..some will incarnate into higher beings..”

“Theory is they key ingredient in science towards helping humanity grasp higher levels of understanding past the gauge of our own minute human perceptions.. Without the imagination we would be cast into darkness.. it is through belief that we can create a higher way of being. The problem with intentions is not lying to the self about intention..as you can tell other’s your intentions are based on love to fool others; but you cannot fool the energy.. The energy knows.. and will give back what is created within the heart..”

And as he turned to wipe the board clean for his next student.. I was waking in my real life..but I heard him say as my eyes were not yet open..” Was this dream more of a reality than the one you are about to enter?” He was laughing as my eyes flew open.

Manifesting My life Partner

My sister 1986 at 17

I should start this with the dream visitation I had from my dead sister last night.. but I am going to start with the Instagram conversation I had with a relationship coach; who is in a great relationship..and tells people how important it is to have great sex everyday. I told her that I don’t have a soul mate to have sex with everyday..and that it’s getting on my sexual frustration nerve that everyone is bragging online about the great sex they have. She suggested that I am responsible for my own lack of manifesting my soul mate. I found this pretentious because ( it is ) and because of all of things that I have done to manifest said soul mate.

First I had professional counselling to help me heal from the affair and the abandonment of my ex husband ( because it’s important not to be bitter when manifesting love )

Then I made up a manifestation board suggested to me by a relationship coach who gave me a reading using love cards.. So I made up this poster board full of pictures of how I wanted my next relationship to be. Lots of travel and spontaneity; I want to live in sin and be like gypsies. I want him to be kind, funny, talented, passionate and eccentric.. spiritual and romantic.. someone who would be great to my kids but know that he didn’t have to pretend to be their daddy.. someone who could handle my passion, temper and fire.

Then I had some professional boudoir photography done; to help me get in touch with my inner Goddess.. my Divine Feminine and this led me to using boudoir photography in my book and then writing about the Goddess.. ( You think that would of been enough to manifest a great man right there! )http://bookstore.balboapress.com/Products/SKU-000576933/The-Goddess-an-Expression-of-the-Divine-Feminine.aspx  link to my book

I purchased loads of lingerie.. I have a drawer full of it..

I hit the gym hard to ground myself into my flesh and sexuality ( and because I love to be fit just for me ) I took belly dancing, pole dancing and burlesque classes.

I decorated my bedroom using feng shui colors and placements to bring love and money into my bedroom.. I have two treasure chests by my bed .. one is for me and one is for him..one full of feminine decorations and one full of masculine decorations. I did paintings with romantic ancient symbols for lovers .. so many paintings that they are all over my home.

I purchased crystals and tantra candles..and with two heart shaped candles I did a ritual for manifesting my soul mate.. in my bedroom is a brass cupid with a crystal in his bow and arrow.

I purchased angel love cards.. and from Italy I purchased the heart shaped tarot..so I could place the lovers card by my bed with a rose quarts heart on it..to manifest this soul mate..

It has been six years and he hasn’t manifested.

I took action by joining several different dating sites.. sometimes I would go on fifty quick coffee dates in sixty days.. but these dates were funny, sad and even sometimes creepy.. after a couple of years of trying to date online and meet someone at local events.. I just went off line and stopped trying..because it was all the same guys.. just pointlessness..

So either manifesting doesn’t work..or I just suck at it?

But now to the dream of my sister that I had last night.. in the dream…

( My sister who had died of cancer was somehow in my bed; she held me close as I wept on her chest.. I cried so hard because I knew it was just a dream.. I was lucid dreaming. I wept because as she held me I could feel how tiny the cancer had made her.. how weak her muscles were..and in the dream I relived in an instant the terror of loosing her..of feeling helplessness towards a disease that had complete control of her body..of me keeping her safe ..” I just didn’t want you to suffer .. I just didn’t want you to suffer.. It isn’t fair how you suffered and died like that ” I bawled in her arms.. she said to me ” You did everything right Gracie. Everything we talked about when I was dying.. you lived your dreams.. the dreams I didn’t get to live because I was afraid.. you were so fearless writing your book.. doing what you did to help all women..it was a true sacrifice and the karma has been building over here in the spirit world for you.. you have good karma on the way..great karma Gracie.. just hold on a little longer. Did you feel me on your walk yesterday? In the wild roses? I was the roses that surrounded you to remind you of your childhood dream.. you know they are my birth flower.. and my birthday is on the 2nd of June..it’s my birthday soon.. I used the roses to show you how much love there is for you.” and then in my dream I cried harder knowing that I was going to wake up soon..I could feel it..” but they all hate me now for writing my book.” I wept.. tying to hang onto the dream..to her.. ” Just a little longer Gracie… just hang on”

And then I awoke in actual tears.. but I felt her spirit and the dream linger… ” just a little longer…”

So just maybe this manifestation thing might work after all.. or maybe I am just dreaming?

I Dream of Buddha

I have had a very difficult few days promoting my book online. I have been called many names, and I have learned of lies and gossip spread about me; and I have learned of those believing the lies instead of listening to the truth. I have been directly contacted and told by some how horrible I am. How I am pretty but it is a shame that I am so negative. I am negative for telling the truth about those who have discriminated against me. I have been told I am an unhappy person in denial by those in denial of the truth of their own behaviors, actions/in-actions towards me. Many allow the discrimination by turning a blind eye to it, because to admit that it is happening would mean they would have to do something about it. They don’t want to help me because it would disrupt their comfort and positions in society..

I experienced a huge range of emotions.. from hopelessness, sorrow, shock, anger and then my in my conscious defense ( humor ) humor to fight the ignorance and stupidity.

Last night before falling asleep I asked the Universe or the Divine for a dream to help guide me or to help me.. this is called lucid dreaming. I have been able to lucid dream since I was a child; but I am not always answered by the Divine or Universal Energy.. but I was last night.. I am finding as my struggle with society begins to become even more heated that I feel the presence of the I AM.. with me directly. The dream I had last night almost feels miraculous ….

” I sat still and motionless on the lily pad.. I was the small green fog. I was still within the pod.. I floated without effort..I was the lily pad. I quietly opened to the sun..as my petals peeled back one by one and my fragrance filled the air.. I was the lily. The light breathed through me.. I carried it with in me.. I was the air. I burned my warmth forth without effort.. I was the sun. I looked within.. I was in everything; I wasn’t trying, I just was.. the Buddha.” ~ The Dream

I hope you can see the beautiful humility in the words. Humility is the greatest force of The Divine.. it is only through humility that we find the God/Goddess within us. It is only through humility that we are able to see through or own egos and the egos of others..

The Buddha didn’t speak to me but spoke through me and through the peace of tranquility .. The Buddha carried both the masculine and the feminine in my dream… this represented balance again..or the still center. In my dream the Buddha was blue.. this is the color of truth.. and the Buddha was showing me it’s eye wide open.. it was the color of tropical waters or turquoise.. the spiritual meaning of turquoise is peace.. meditation, mediation, protection, comfort, calm, stillness, healing.. turquoise is the color of basic truth and deep wisdom.

The Buddha was telling me that I am dealing with ego’s that are steeped in illusions .. My society and all society is mesh of illusions projected by ego.. the emotions of these egos.. or their projected perceptions of how they see themselves and how they see the world is being projected onto me..as they attempt to label me to fit me into their illusions. I am provoking their response by not allowing myself or them to tangle me up in their illusions.. to be my truth or the truth is highly offensive to them..as their illusions give them great comfort, status, wealth or prestige in society..the only way for them to find Nirvana was for the Buddha to find Nirvana.. by seeking only the truth past illusion or ego..

If I were to accept their illusion.. I would be crushed by it.. as they seem to have to put me into the victim role for them to excuse themselves from their own dysfunctional attitudes and behavior… and that has been denial of their own egos..

And so it is that I find Nirvana.. by seeing the truth.. for truth ..by the stillness and humility of internal balance.. meditation.. by being the Buddha within all things..

And so it is that this dream brought me peace, protection, tranquility..and the power to keep being the truth.

{ 3 things cannot be hidden long;

The sun

The moon

The truth } ~~ Buddha

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