Posts Tagged ‘ignorance’

Contemplating my bad

 

Mentally reviewing the last 3 years attempting to network my book in my local community.. I realize my bad was dramatically reacting to their bad.. but of course I didn’t know what I didn’t know.. and that is what I know now…and it’s that I wouldn’t ever be accepted or be welcomed in their house of belonging due to the subject matter of my book ” Women’s sexuality ” Even though my book is tasteful and factual.. even though it is artistic and intellectual.. although very amateurish.. I wouldn’t ever of been accepted into their polished, conservative perspectives.. as they are comfortable in doing things the way they always have done them.. and I had no idea that the art culture in Kelowna and area.. are to support professionalism.. vs professionalism supporting the arts.. or any form of balance between the two. I had no idea of the fact that the people who create the culture in Kelowna, through the arts they decide to promote or show.. through the networking groups and organizations that they have created and run.. are groups and organizations based upon professional conservatism ..and that they are subject to their perspectives of good clean family values or MORALS.

My bad or my fault was to keep trying to break down their barriers and prejudices.. my fault was to keep trying to break through their walls and to try to change them after I had realized they all held the same views and they were not going to change them. Yes what they did and how they do things is wrong.. it is black and white..if you profess to include everyone in your groups and organizations..but exclude me due to the subject matter of women’s sexuality that is sexism..that is prejudice and that is black and white.. WRONG..But by me getting beside myself with anger and frustration.. with that anger and frustration turning inward inside of me ..to lead to suicidal thoughts a year ago ( I am doing really well now thanks ) but by allowing them that room in my mind, and heart they had won..and it gave them an excuse to call me crazy and a drama queen.. it gave them an excuse as a group..as individuals.. to keep excluding me..to never let me in..to not allow me to network in their groups or have speaking platform.. because of my emotions.. me attempting to hold them accountable on my blog by writing about every experience .. it made them feel justified.. so the did win. I should of realized that it was a battle that I couldn’t win after loosing so many rounds in the fight.. I should of seen it was draining.. sucking my vitality and life force.. it was taking away my confidence..as I was starting to see myself through their eyes.. I should of just walked off that battle field and realized not a single one of them was ever worth it.. that belonging or being accepted by them wasn’t ever worth loosing my sense of self over.. I should of seen much earlier that they wouldn’t ever be my audience.. because they are afraid of change.. even though they peach change and equality.. even though they go on and on about authenticity and having the courage to be different and follow your dreams.. I should of seen much sooner that these were just words of self promotion.. but I didn’t know, then what I know now.. now that I have watched them..now that I have gotten to know their patterns of make believe personas .. I sure wish I knew then what I know now..  but I am headstrong…and sometimes being headstrong can be a double edged sword..it can make you tough..but also it can make you blind to your own stubborn.. and gawd I am that.

I have a temper and righteous anger.. but now I know how to spot them because they all sound the same.. the all run in the same circles and all spout the same self-righteous crap. I can see the arrogance ..as they think they can do no wrong..and they have the power in numbers to keep their delusion of grandeur. But my bad was believing it.. comparing myself to them.. feeling like I don’t measure up because I don’t have the qualification or the professional experience that they all seem to have..but I have learned that most of their qualifications are hyped up bullshit.. my bad was not seeing it sooner.

The truth is I was and still am, their mirror.. a mirror that doesn’t work through the lens of their own rose colored glasses..but a mirror that shows them their lies and prejudices.. a mirror that shows them the truth…and that is ” Same as it ever was.. same as it ever was.” and it will always be the same old..for them..and that’s exactly why they don’t want to let me in or anyone else in that doesn’t communicate or network with in the frames of their comfort levels.. because they are afraid …

And there is my bad again..I didn’t understand it was really their fear and ignorance..it really didn’t have much to do with me.. change is a painful process..that they don’t want to face.

If there ever is a similar circumstance in my life again.. I walking away sooner.. I not going to fight battles I cannot win when I could change my strategy and change what I can.. I will accept much sooner..what I cannot not change.

“She put herself in that situation “

 

I was having a conversation with another woman at my gym about sexual harassment.. how a young woman can be walking down the street looking pretty in a summer dress to have a guy cat call at her ” Nice tits! ” She said to me ” I just won’t put myself in that situation ” I had to bite my tongue hard. I have to keep my opinions neutral at my gym because I have had problems in other gyms..and my workouts are my sanctuary from the fucked up world.. so I just said ” No woman put’s herself into that situation.. men put her into the situation by creating the situation due to their ignorance, arrogance and their sexual aggression.”

But that’s how many people in my community of Kelowna BC view me.. or judge me.. as putting myself into the situation of asking for it.. asking for sexual harassment.. what they don’t have is the intelligence to see is that shining a light on the problem; by diving into it head first, will lead to the solution to the problem.. because the problem exists with or with out me writing about women’s sexuality or publishing my sensual professional photography.. the problem is much bigger than me or any one woman..as it affects all women world wide..and it has for millenniums.. the problem is ignorance.

I was also talking to another women before that.. and she said to me ” Gracie you are such an intelligent woman..it must be so difficult for you trying to get people to comprehend ..who are not able or willing.. I think the world is a very frustrating place for intelligent people like yourself.” She was so correct and of course it would take another intelligent or aware person to understand the frustration of the shit of ignorance.

Every woman can be thrust into that situation ( sexual harassment ) at anytime.. even if she is alone in her own bedroom.. her home can be broken into and she could be raped and murdered.. women are not safe from the situation until society sheds it’s ignorance and stops blaming her for the situation.. but starts educating men as to them creating the situation due to male entitlement and double standards..but in the same breath other women need to be educated to the fact that their own sex isn’t responsible for the situation put upon them by sexually abusive men.. society in general is sexually abusive and constantly sexually harassing women.. our sexuality is the main selling force behind multiple and major products.. so women have all become sex symbols.. we have become a product vs being people..

But.. the hardest thing to fight isn’t greed or violence ..it’s the ignorance or fear that causes the behaviors..

The most difficult thing about fighting ignorance..is that many don’t have a level of comprehension within them to even know or articulate their own ignorance..

So to wrap it up.. I didn’t put myself in the situation.. the situation put me in the situation ..if I published my story about the situation or not.. the situation existed before me and past me.. but the only way through the puzzle or the matrix of the situation is through the center of it.. it’s right through the eye of the needle.. that’s how to break on through to the other side..and that will be the solution..

 

Religion the root of injustice

 

Want to get to the point directly; religion is a battle tactic or strategy. It was created by old world royalty and emperors to control the masses or surfs through fear. All three of the most popular world religions were created as a tool of diversion. It’s obviously genus as it has keep us; the people at each other for 1000s of years. It’s simple really; if you give a few people the false sense of superiority over a few other people, they will do the dirty work for you. And so men were given privilege over women as ( the head of the household ) by men becoming the head or the brain of the family they were given control over wealth, social status and sexual freedoms.. this has obviously kept men and women fighting ..and by keeping things unhappy in the home, the powerful become more powerful.. it’s like this.. a thief comes into a city to steal the livestock..but to divert the people away he sets a fire in the middle of the city.. while the people are busy putting out the fire.. he steals the livestock.. but even better yet, thief creates a rumor that the women took the livestock to gain power over men.. or it was the black people.. or the homosexuals.. do you get the picture?

We love the good in religion ( love everyone as you love yourself ) ( God is love ) but in order to get God’s love or favor to save us from hell’s fire.. we must condemn and murder those who may lead us astray from the morality of sexual deviation .. what we don’t understand is that our natural nature has been labeled as sinful because it was so easy to use it as a tactic .. it makes us fight with ourselves internally and with others externally.. the irrational nature of the fear of death and the consequences after death used against us by a group of people that made it up; by people 1000s of years ago that had access to education and reading that peasants didn’t have access to.. they actually commissioned writers to make up hell to scare the shit out of people so that they would behave and pay penance to the church..and follow the dogma or rules indoctrinated into them.. many people of all different religions couldn’t read or write..so even if scripture was made available they couldn’t of made sense of it themselves.

Some links http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constantine_the_Great ( proves that Constantine created Christianity to unite his empire..basically to manipulate people into doing what he wanted and needed them to do.. when the bible was compiled of multiple books.. he chose to burn many that included a feminine voice.. because he wanted to control women..and he wanted to use their husbands to help him to control women.. controlling women meant that more than 60% of his empire would be locked down to his ideals.)

http://www.aloha.net/~mikesch/banned.htm -

“Canon 14. We prohibit also that the laity should be permitted to have the books of the Old or New Testament; unless anyone from motive of devotion should wish to have the Psalter or the Breviary for divine offices or the hours of the blessed Virgin; but we most strictly forbid their having any translation of these books.”

http://www.gotquestions.org/Divine-Comedy-Dantes-Inferno.html -

“Apparent immediately is the third of the work devoted toPurgatory, a doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church having no foundation in the Bible.’”
Dante imagines various levels of hell and heaven. He describes the Inferno in great detail, vividly describing the torments and agonies of hell; these descriptions, however, do not come from the Bible. Some come from Islamic tradition.”"

My point is this.. we are still living in the brutality of the Iron Ages.. or the Middle Ages, because we are allowing state and country to be run by the doctrine of these ages.. we are allowing sexual repression into our school systems.. into to the work place.. we are still condemning and damning each other to hell because we believe in it’s creation..due to the fear of what happens after death.. we still are giving room for Manifest Destiny.. and that is why racism and slavery are still being practiced today..just look at the Middle East.. people are being slaughtered because one country believes their God said they should and that they have a right to do so in the name of God.. today we have riots in Baltimore.. the women’s dollar is still at 77cents compared to the male wages.. we have the right to gay marriage on trial.. all in the name of religion..

So when are we going to evolve? It’s time we either get rid of religion or we take the human rights infringements out of religion to bring about true equality and justice..and it’s time we see that sex isn’t sinful.. it is a just our natural nature..it’s time to stop going against science and nature ..it’s time to embrace our wholeness..until then nothing will change.. but nature just might do what nature does..because what doesn’t evolve isn’t good for nature.. it will ..we will simply just die back.

It’s time to be spiritual and logical.

Obsessed

 

I am obsessed with my dream and trying to find away through these impasses .. obstacles.. trying with all my might to find the right strategy.. but I am stuck. Tonight I have been watching George Stromboulopoulos’s interviews with multiple different successful celebrities .. trying to learn through them, from their experiences..their climb.. to see how doors opened for them. I am learning that it is simply a matter of fate, timing and life experiences, talents and tenacity that brings them to their victories or revolutionary fame or successes.. success not just being monetary but also and more importantly making a huge difference in the world. I still don’t have the answer. I still don’t have any open doors.. I just don’t.

I don’t have community; I don’t have a platform to speak from.. I have no opportunity as of yet to be heard or noticed.. I have directly the opposite. I have been shunned from professional organizations; I have been shunned from my local arts community.. there isn’t any Government funding or help or organization to help me. I don’t know anyone that knows anyone. Most of all I have been labeled over and over again as crazy for speaking out about the prejudices and inequalities put on me because I am woman without ( proper qualifications ) writing about women’s sexuality.. it’s like I am not allowed to break those rules.. these invisible rules.. that I needed the education’s systems qualifications to write about sex as a woman still in her sexual prime and single .. ( being single and not married as a woman writing about sex and sexuality is a taboo) ” I mean who knew right? Who fucking knew that?” Did you know that? I didn’t know that until I did that..and now I am a crazy for doing that..seems it was social suicide. Because I was supposed to have a PHD.. and have male approval by a husband or a boyfriend to write about sex and sexuality to be socially acceptable and to be given validity .. did you know that? Not only that but I shouldn’t be so sexy writing about sexuality..being single and unmarried because that makes me a threat.. because it makes me seductive and manipulative..because I am obviously ( according to society ) using my sexuality without a licence.. isn’t that just fucked up? But that is what is happening.. yup.. it’s happening..

I am not supposed to talk about it in public because I don’t have the proper qualifications..so when I do and people find out I don’t have the proper qualifications.. it means I am a target for abuse. Like being told that I am a threat to a gym’s reputation .. that I scare people..because I am just too much.. too open.. too different.. I am just too different..and I am doing something too different and revolutionary or controversial.

People don’t like it when you challenge their stupid rules or taboos .. people don’t like change even if is for the better… like leading women out of sexual repression by living outside of the box or the sexual repression by the expression of my sexuality..showing by leading how to do it.. ( sounds so simple..but people are even simpler) saying that very slowly as I type it very slowly read it slowly if you don’t get it..because there are some hateful .. prejudiced people ( lots of them ) that read my blog to leave hateful messages because they cannot grasp the concepts.. they can read that even slower.. they can read this several times but still not pick up on the meaning in the words and vocabulary.. but this is the great part.. they find my spelling mistakes..but not grasp anything else..

Ohhhhhhh *sigh* so how do I create a strategy that can jump, climb over.. under or through this ignorance? Ignorance.. IGNORANCE.. the biggest ..widest.. meanest…nastiest .. barrier of all..

Because you can be rational.. factual.. intellectual.. but you just cannot help people upgrade on how to conceptualize or activate more gray matter.

 

 

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