Posts Tagged ‘I am sacred’

The Seduction of Kelownafornia

 

Before I moved to Kelowna to start over after separating from my cheating husband, I was the type of person that loved simplicity, nature and spirituality. I loved staying at home with my children and working part time on the family business from our 110 year old farm house. I have always been intensely spiritual and very physical. I really enjoy working outside and being with nature on a spiritual level. I have never been one for crowds nor do I need a lot of friends. My circle has always been small due to my spiritual sensitivity that makes me emotionally sensitive. I had no idea that Kelowna would make me into a monster eventually.

I am not what they made me into. I am a home body; I love to cook healthy meals, garden, and be domestic. I like to keep my home clean and fresh because it makes me feel good, and on a spiritual level it keeps my energy flowing..on the level of intellect and intelligence it is a metaphor for a well organized mind. I am much the same with my athletics, and before I had my children I was also very athletic..and so athletics keep my energy grounded due to me being very whimsical and spiritual.. being physical keeps me here on the earthly plane. I am not what they ( Kelowna society ) made me into.

When I first moved to Kelowna as a single mother who had just lost the baby weight, I came across jealous and catty women. I am not like that and I have been naive to women like that. I honesty didn’t know what to do with the catty and bitchy behaviors and so I sometimes blamed myself. But that was just the beginning.

I am an artist, writer and spiritualist. Since I was a young girl I had the dream and vision of writing my book { The Goddess, and Expression of the Divine Feminine } so when our marital house sold and I had the money to produce and self publish the book I joyfully undertook my spiritual mission. By my unworldiness I had no idea how horribly it would be received by Kelowna society and culture. I was so naive and childlike to think that it wouldn’t not just offend many but intimidate many as well. Not only did it intimidate many but it also branded me as a gold digger and whore..and I was treated as such. I was systematically shut out of society ..now to the point that I cannot be employed due to what I have online to promote my book as the subject matter is freeing women from sexual repression and I am topless in some of the photography that expresses the Goddess in typical Greek fashion. Now I know.. you would think that it’s art and so artist should be free to express themselves and then move about society freely and with all their rights intact.. but women’s rights have so much father to go and we haven’t even begun to free women from repression as my personal story proves.

I also refused to meet personally and alone with a very wealthy man that is basically The King of Kelowna, that own’s businesses and land in Kelowna.. he showed me how powerful and worldly he is by having me thrown out of all privately owned local gyms in Kelowna.. I have had to take down everything I wrote about my experiences with him so that he doesn’t continue to attempt to crush me by attempting to make me suicidal or to actually suicide. So yes in that way he has won. I am the weaker in the fact that he has the ability to pull strings like a puppet master and make people do horrible things for his favor.. but did I miss a golden gold-digging opportunity or did I escape with my soul?

How do I forgive all of these people? How do I forgive a man who could of shown me mercy but showed me only pure cruelty? I forgive them because I have to; I have to forgive them because I don’t want to become them. I was becoming them while trying to fight them. I was becoming them by becoming bitter because justice wouldn’t come.. mercy wasn’t to come to me by them and so I have to have mercy upon myself by releasing them so that I can go back to myself..because they branded me The Seductress while they seduced me into their worldly mess of over competition and affluent-disease. You see everyone wants to be rich here at all costs and they compete against each other ruthlessly to obtain more than others. They compete against each other in the fitness community as nothing is ever good enough and then they make themselves sick by over dieting and over working their bodies..they make themselves sick with jealousy and greed.. and they pulled me in and seduced me with inflicting their ruthless nature onto me..and I lost myself as their names or branding stuck to me like a mask, covering my true divine nature. Kelowna’s spiritual community is also a reflection of Kelowna as those involved compete to be the most enlightened and of course that leads them away from true enlightenment. True enlightenment comes from being present in our humanity not by denying our basic human nature. Spiritual detachment doesn’t mean being detached from empathy and compassion towards other’s struggles or suffering..but we accept suffering to move through suffering; we move through suffering by seeing the gifts of wisdom found in that suffering..and so Kelowna’s spiritual community is lacking in wisdom and true depth.

When I wrote my book I didn’t know what ” Business Branding ” was ? I was just a child-like artist with a wonderful idea; I was just a spiritualist that wanted to gift the world with The Divine Feminine to help humanity find balance and peace. I was just an nerdy intellectual that wished to help educate the ignorant to enlighten..but to them, I just thought I was ” all that ” to them I was competing and trying to reel in rich men like The King of Kelowna..

I got caught up in the rat race.. on a hamster wheel going nowhere because I didn’t ever want to get to where they are.

I am so glad I was pushed out now. I am so glad to be moving out of Kelowna back to me and back to simplicity.

I can hardly wait to find my quiet and solitude so that I can hear my spirit guides and the Goddess speak to me that much clearer.. I finally see though the fog and confusion.. and I am leaving it all behind..

To garden, paint, write and run like a child in the sun.

Infamous

The Eclipse in Pisces has been a real emotional and spiritual roller coaster ride for me.. as my spiritual guides came back to me with a force. I was reminded of my souls purpose and life path; and I was told to let go of my ego or be dragged along an ugly path by it. You see it wasn’t ever my intent to become or try to become famous by writing my book or putting up my online profile. It was my soul’s intent to deliver a spiritual message to the world for the divine, or cosmic energy. After I put up my profiles and started to self promote my book and message.. I was told by others that I was fame hungry and that I was self branding by going topless in the photography in my book, and on my website. Of course this is how worldly people would view me as they are socially brainwashed by what exists in the media towards how women’s sexuality is promoted. Need I remind my reader that society deems, that a woman who uses her body or sexuality to promote herself is judged as an attention whore or quite simply a whore..and so I was told by many over and over again that my message wasn’t spiritual in nature but selfish and pretentious.

The first dream from my guides was given to me 2 nights before the eclipse .. in the dream my Angels had me put my book ( Message ) in a bottle. I walked with them on a sea of stars as the told me to release my message in a bottle to the cosmos..and so I set it free to float down the river of stars…and then they reminded me ..they said ” The message was for you to let go of. You are an instrument of the divine, yet you will not see worldly fame for this message, the message will reach the right place at the right time.” In the dream I wept; and my tears became one with the stars..and the Angels said ” Let it go Grace, you have lived out your divine purpose by creating what will inspire the next generation of Goddesses.. let it go and let us do the work now. Go on and enjoy the rest of your time on Earth.. go and find peace.” As I began to awaken, I heard them call out to me ” We will send you a sign that you cannot deny as the truth..that will set you free.”

And so in my waking life I waited for a sign.. but they brought another dream to me.. I was with the pop star Madonna in my dream. She wasn’t dressed to be on stage; she looked relaxed like she was on vacation. She wore little make up and she was dressed in loose fitting white clothing..she said ” Grace come and sit will me, I have a message from your Angels for you.” and so I sat with her on the wicker and she played with my hair like a mother does to her daughter..and she said to me ” George Stroumboulopoulos was right Grace.. the message is for the next generation, the world is too fucked up to get it. Do you give women of power permission to promote this message? Grace will you let your ego die?.. now is the time.. the time to throw your ego’s pride onto the fire.. to ashes with it Grace.” I looked at her with tears in my eyes and I said to her ” I only want the message to make it through. I want women to be free from a culture that sexually shames us and own’s us as things for sale.. that blames us for being raped and murdered…that tells us it is our fault for being to open, loving, beautiful and vulnerable..that tells men with this, that it is their right to own our bodies and sexuality.. yes I am ready to release the message to whom ever will do it justice.” and I wept. Then she said to me ” Grace you are to pure for fame. You were never meant to be famous because the world eats people like you up. There are horrible empty souls that walk the entertainment industry that would drain you of that shine. You are like a child.” as she said so I became a child on her lap.. with a round face as she twirled my hair in her hands to make it into a twisted bun shape..and then she held up a mirror..and said ” See your soul self.” and I saw a child in pure white, with a pure round face.. and then I awoke..

And then all day I looked for the sign.. or waited for the sign.. I read my dream book..and looked up the images..and in searching for the meaning of the dream I went to Madonna’s twitter to look at images of her..and that is when I came upon this picture of her and her children..and yes this is exactly how she and I looked in the dream.. I was the child on her lap

 

I know my reader.. you may think I made this all up. That I went to her twitter and found this image and then made the story up around the image.. but I didn’t. That is the way the spirit or the divine does these things though.. it’s unexplained.. many times there isn’t any real tangible proof; yet the sign is real to me that I was spoken to directly from the other side. Carl Jung believed that souls meet in dreams to speak to one another..This eclipse took place in the North Node of my astrological star map.. Pisces is my North Node or my life path direction.. Pisces is about spiritual sacrifices made to benefit all of creation..and so it is very Christ like..to make a sacrifice with out any personal benefit to the self..

There were many other slight things that happened to me as well that were meant to drive home the message..a friend telling me she wanted ” 15 mins of fame” and my guides telling me.. ” Not everyone is meant to be famous.” and then just today another parent brought up the famous in a conversation with me..and it was deep.. the end of the conversation I knew my guides were speaking through him as some people whom I don’t know, know me because of my online work..and they will come up and tell me. I am not comfortable with fame.. I just want to listen and watch .. to hear the spirit world talk.. and let my ego die..

I like being infamous because as a spiritualist and artist I need to walk unnoticed.

Goddess of Love

 

 

It’s Valentines weekend. It is very easy to get caught up in all the fuss. Valentines Day is supposed to be a day of love or a day for lovers; but actually it is just a great day for retail. Lovers should share their love everyday, and single people should love and value themselves as singular people everyday..  I think it is important to keep grounded and real during the hype.. if you are in a relationship or not, because Valentines Day can make people feel bitter and resentful, jealous and stressed; rather than loved and grateful. It is  important to stay in the moment and to take stock of what is truly valuable and meaningful.. like the simple things..as love is beautiful simplicity .. it’s human’s that make love complicated.

As a woman it is very important to value and love yourself first before ever getting involved with any one romantically. Why go on a date with someone who isn’t worthy of you just to go on a date for Valentines Day or any other day for that matter? I know so many single women giving their time and energy away to men who don’t deserve it.. the players, cheaters and the men that don’t actually want to commit ..the game players.. a woman who is in her Inner Goddess or Queen, Diva etc .. wouldn’t and will not put herself in that position. Using myself as an example; I didn’t haunt dating sites or pursue men.. because what is meant to be will be.. instead I focused my attention and energy on myself and my kids.. I focused on being grateful for the beauty that I have already in my life.. and like a true Goddess I create and am creating a beautiful life all around me.

To become or come in contact with your Inner Goddess.. is to simply be more and more of yourself everyday.. to love and honor yourself, spiritually and physically.. to express your sexuality on your own terms.. whatever that may be to you. To become a Goddess is to be authentic, real, raw, brave and unique. A Goddess is iconic.. not like what the fashion or media world would like us to mimic.. because Goddesses come in all shapes and sizes..all races and ages..as she is timeless and infinite.. if a woman tells you that you must behave, look or act like what she thinks a Goddess is; don’t follow her because she is speaking from ego and conceit, not from the Divine.. because SHE  ( The Goddess ) wants you to be you.. the Great Goddess..the MOTHER of all Creation whats you to be as she birthed you..because you were born that way! You were born to be you!

There are many misconceptions as to why I do this.. many men think that I express my sexuality and use my image to get male attention and many women think I do it for the same reasons. A Goddess expresses her sexuality for herself.. that is what makes her a Goddess.. she doesn’t pretend or become anything for anyone else and she doesn’t give a fuck about what other people think about her being herself. A woman’s sexuality is as much apart of her as is her personality or name.. she is what she is..and a Goddess is whole unto herself… and yes this is intoxicating and powerful..and frightening to many people..because it is rare.. society teaches both men and women how to behave..and women are taught to become what men judge as sexually pleasing as men are taught to become what is sexually pleasing by mainstream media.. and so then we wonder why women and men cannot connect intimately or why both men and women are so confused in relationships. It is because we can only pretend for so long..and then the mask falls off .. when a woman or man is authentic and unique it is powerful and potent.. it is awe .. he becomes The Divine Masculine and she The Divine Feminine.. when both a man and a woman carrying their Inner God and Goddess come together the Earth moves.. And so I am waiting for my God.. he is simply a man that takes no shit..and is himself.. he doesn’t give a shit what you think.. he is a man that cherishes and protects women.. he hasn’t any need to compete or control.

As a Goddess I love and cherish myself the way I want to be loved and cherished by a man. Giving myself this type of photography makes me feel sensual and beautiful. Giving myself roses on Valentines Day is my way of telling myself that I am worthy of love..I am worthy of a great and powerful love..and that love already lives inside of me..because I am me.

It is my hope that this blog post inspires you to be uniquely you.. I hope you find away to pamper yourself and cherish yourself.. and when that special person comes along may you both pamper and cherish each other

Happy Valentines Day

Love

Gracie

You Are The Wishing Star

 

Science says that when you wish upon a star..that star is already dead.. that it’s light had to travel billions of light years to reach the earth.. it is logical to reason that the particulate matter from that star has then become a part of the earth’s crust .. and so as Carl Sagan has said ” We are all star stuff ” Not only are you a part of the matter that star consisted of, but you are also a part of it’s energy..so in fact you are the star you are wishing upon.. and so why are you wishing on yourself? Why are you worried? Can’t you see that you have already existed for billions of years.. you have traveled across time and space to be standing right were you are now..and can’t you see that even if your body should parish or become one with the earth again.. you will indeed take up a new form and your energy will travel the cosmos to manifest in multiple different ways; and quite probably different realities.. and so it is that the God/Goddess or the light..the sun ( as it is a star ) is not only within you but is you…and so you are the Christ/Buddha/Majesty .. we are all Christ .. we are holy.. we are all sacred.. we are infinite.. we are not just infinite beings..for we are more than just beings..for we are being for but a small while.. for we are so much bigger than just this time of NOW..so there is much more than the POWER OF NOW..there is the power of the infinite that is also the NOW..as the power of energy is all things in one…and one thing in all things..and so you are the beginning, middle and the end.. and as the infinite; the end is but a new beginning..and so like the star you don’t actually die you just transform, as energy cannot be created or destroyed .. it simply transcends or transmutes .. Yet the light of the star is real to us in our physical bodies.. and so it is to remind of us of our origins..or, our original power.. as it burns from the inside out.. and so the cosmos is within you..the Kingdom of Heaven is through you..as you are the Kingdom..you body is simply a temple that holds the soul’s energy.. just like a candle that holds the light of the flame..

And so when you are wishing upon the star you are asking the star to remind you of HOPE..as the Star is the ancient symbol of hope.. for you have forgotten and lost your way.. you have forgotten your greatness.. you have forgotten your origins and that you are also on an endless journey across the cosmos.. yet you worry and you wish.. but the wish is you.. you are what the star wished for..for it to manifest it’s self in human form to experience a new reality and an new way of being.. and so when you have become weary of your journey ..when you have lost all hope.. look up at the stars..and have them look into you ..and they will say to you.. ” Remember how great tho art ” for we are the art of the infinite.

And so it is that a few thousand years ago.. Wise Men looked upon the heavens..and the star guided them to a child..and the child was the star.. and the star came to remind you .. that you are the star..so seek within and you will find the Christ Child within you.. no matter what your religion.. no matter if you are an atheist or a priest.. it is a simple wisdom to know that we are all star stuff.

Celibate Sex

 

My sexy shopping spree was brought on by a bad dream I had last night.. I know this sounds funny but dreams are funny things..and the dreams that startle you awake rise directly from your subconscious. ( It’s a fact ) this dream did just that. In my dream I was with random no-name guy. Just some dumb, faceless guy in my life because I was sexually frustrated and lonely. I know a lot of women who make that mistake.. I hate that mistake and I have learned from that sorta mistake years back.. no-name, random guy is a waste of time and energy. In a spiritual sense giving your sexual energy away to someone who doesn’t vibrate at your level is spiritually damaging.. it leaves dark empty holes in your aura.. just like it leaves them in your heart..

With the moon being in Taurus and my Venus being in Taurus; even though I am an Aries. it was time to upgrade on my sex toys..and to treat myself to some sensuality..it was a sensual day ..because I was also reading tarot cards for women concerning questions about their sex lives and exploring their own sexuality..it was a day full of feminine sexuality. A nice break from all the male sexuality promoted all over social media.. feminine sexuality it so nurturing vs male sexuality that can be so aggressive.

The city I live in is very prudish… me writing about my own sexuality, spiritual sexuality or sacred sex..and women’s sexuality is taboo.. If I was ugly, unhappily married and had a PHD well that would be acceptable LOL..because I wouldn’t be sexually intimidating or threatening… silly I know..but this is a retirement community. I just found out today that Sears stopped carrying women’s thong panties because the seniors don’t like to see them in the store! Seriously! They don’t carry my favorite Jessica thong pantie anymore!

I knew the woman who was working at the Adult Store.. we got into a conversation about how and when Kelowna became so repressed, uptight and prudish. It was in the mid 1980s when they got rid of the Regatta, the Flinstone’s theme park and the roller rink.. they started to build condos for the seniors, or the rich that retired early.. everything became about wineries and golf.. The male employee called it ” The end of fun ” OMG he was so right.. Kelowna is so uptight. With attempting to network my book in a prejudiced networking community,  that acts like being prudish and sexually repressed is professional.. I have found the repression put on me to be stifling!  I have had to work very hard on my own internal dialog not to take on the sexual shaming that they put onto me by saying things like ” She is unprofessional and inappropriate ” because I write about sex..and I am topless in my book.. I have had to work really hard at maintaining my sexual energy through their projections..

The sexual energy is called SHAKTI ..it is the primal force that created and creates the UNIVERSE..basically it can be described as the essence of the GODDESS..so if a woman wants to keep this energy flowing..her creative juices..her life force.. her connection to the universe or her own Divinity..while she is without a partner she must self pleasure..often.. scientifically; through the lens of biology it keeps her healthy .. healthy mentally as well..as orgasms fight depression by flooding the body and brain with feel good hormones.

I also think that a woman who keeps her sexual spark alive while waiting for the right partner.. keeps bitterness at bay. A Goddess isn’t bitter or dried up.. she keeps her body and spirit connected through pleasure. My pleasure today was though chocolate, new toys, and shopping for new panties.. the erotic movie that I bought is erotica made for women by a woman.. it was pretty good..comparing it to porn made for male viewers.. the sex scenes were empowering vs degrading to women.. Goddess sexuality is empowering ..the Shakti energy is EMPOWERING…

Shakti (Sanskrit pronunciation: [ˈʃʌktɪ]) (Devanagariशक्ति; from Sanskrit shak, “to be able”), meaning “Power” or “empowerment,” is the primordial cosmic energy and represents the dynamic forces that are thought to move through the entire universe in Hinduism.[1] Shakti is the concept, or personification, of divine feminine creative power, sometimes referred to as ‘The Great Divine Mother’ in Hinduism. On the earthly plane, Shakti most actively manifests through female embodiment and creativity/fertility, though it is also present in males in its potential, unmanifest form.[2]

Not only is Shakti responsible for creation, it is also the agent of all change. Shakti is cosmic existence as well as liberation, its most significant form being the KundaliniShakti,[3] a mysterious psychospiritual force.[4] Shakti exists in a state of svātantrya, dependence on no one, being interdependent with the entire universe.

Raising The Vibration

 

There are many false positives.. there is a false light. It can be compared to a fluorescent light.. it gives light and energy but it isn’t a natural or nurturing light..so it causes souls to grow in the darkness of ego projection; compared to the true light, the truth.. like sunlight it humbly touches everything under the sun. The real light doesn’t choose favorites; it doesn’t exclude any living thing from it’s warmth and nurturing. It gives life to all things.. the amount of growth is determined by how much one wants to reach for the light.. just like all living things.. if one pushes it’s self towards the light..it becomes aware of the SOURCE of the light.. becomes ONE with the light.. growth can be explosive!

But those under a false light… their growth is retarded..as the false light doesn’t nurture.. the false light inhibits.. it brings out inhibiting factors on the life it touches..as it’s lack of nurturing feeds what is sick within that life; it brings about disease .. metaphorically speaking the false light feeds the ego.. causing more ego projections and sicknesses to grow.. but the truth or the real light burns away all sicknesses within the soul.. the ego projections are purified with the natural light.

If you are one of those who carry within them the true light.. vs the self labeled Gurus that carry the false light..you are probably much like me.. you have been rejected. We are rejected by main society because they fear the burning away of the ego that the truth or real light; the natural light carries.. they fear true change. Were I live there are organizations that call themselves CHANGE.. there is a self labeled Guru that calls herself The Spirit of Kelowna.. yet they choose who will be fed or accepted by their false light or ego projections.. as I said the real light includes every living thing under the sun.. a false light excludes..it chooses only those who are willing to be blinded to the real light.. it includes through feeding the included by excluding some and including others.. you will know the false light by those who profess Guru status and who profess to be enlightened more that others.. they put themselves above others.. THE SOURCE knows in it’s infinite wisdom ..that all is one and equal to the same. The world is full of the synthetic light or energy.. you will know the real light because it shines through in the darkest places..it rises through the dark night of the soul.. it offers it’s self with humility to all.. the real light serves and includes.. it is equal to all. You don’t need to prove yourself to the true light as it is unconditional love.

The real light goes to what is natural.. as it is of nature and it is natural.. natural sexuality..natural expression.. it lives in reality, as it is of the Earth..the heart chakra.. the root chakra.. and of the intuition and spirit..the real light has deep roots ( it doesn’t deny the body or the flesh; it is the sacred alchemy of flesh and spirit ) those of the false light deny the flesh..as religious dogma has denied the flesh as evil..sexuality ( nature ) as evil.. the true light sees sex as sacred.. the alchemy bridge from flesh to spirit.

If you understand this.. if you understand the spiritual snobbery vs true spiritual service.. you are a light bringer.. you  and I carry the light of SOURCE for humility and service.. this isn’t about money or social status for us.. this is about raising the vibration of love ..through the truth the way and the light.. we are simply being the energy.. we are here to cause the combustion of the heart chakra..to burst open.. to flood the light of source across this reality or earthly stage.. we are the game changers.. we are the change..

Keep shining… we have been put into the darkest places.. as a contrasting force against the ignorance of they synthetic ego.. to burn away all the lies..to make way for the truth.

The false light tries to taint the real light as it is in a constant competition with the real light.. keep your light pure by forgiving them.. forgetting them and moving forward.. just keep growing and expanding out the light..go towards the light to be cleansed and re-energized .. stay empowered and positive.. purge.

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