Posts Tagged ‘Higher Frequency’

In a world of my own

 

I found my happiness… it was in acceptance. My dream about Albert Einstein helped me to become conscious of the unconsciousness of others around me..and that I cannot help them.. it is what it is. I had to learn the hard way.. like Alice falling down the rabbit hole and then attending the Mad Hatters tea party.. she realized they were all mad and incapable of seeing or becoming aware of their own madness..and so she had to leave them to it… and so I am. I had to go out into the mad world of my local community and try to attempt to be a part of society; to see that I don’t want to be a part of it.. I want to be a part from it.. I want none of it. It’s funny that they thought I was causing drama because I was drawn into their dramas.. but such is madness..

But one day.. just the other day, as I lay on the grass listening to my son’s joyous laughter..and the laugher of the other children.. I realized that I liked this world so much better.. that there is happiness in letting go of caring what other people think of you..and I realized I wasn’t ever meant to fit in to their world… my level of consciousness is much nicer..and my nightly dreams are now getting even more trippy as I let go and just go with it.. my mind is free of them and their babble,, my spirit is soaring once more… and I am back.. back to myself..and I know now what happiness is.. it’s finding yourself.. your inner bliss.. it’s the love of the simple, sweet moments I spend with my kids.. it’s my workouts,, it’s cooking wonderful organic meals… and sunrises and sunsets.. it’s writing here on my blog..it’s putting paint on canvas.. it’s the deep conversations I have with my teenage daughters about growing into womanhood..

I feel down the rabbit hole..and I fell for the madness.. but now I am back to my senses..and back to myself..and I realize now I shouldn’t of ever trusted madness to define consciousness..there is madness of doing and doing and getting nowhere..but right back were you started…and then there is the good crazy.. and that is being in a world of my own.. the place deep inside of myself.. were I make magic into art.. I give method to madness..now that is my kind of crazy..

let them have their nonsense.. it’s a long road to nowhere..

I will be baking pumpkin pie :) and enjoying life

I Dream of Buddha

I have had a very difficult few days promoting my book online. I have been called many names, and I have learned of lies and gossip spread about me; and I have learned of those believing the lies instead of listening to the truth. I have been directly contacted and told by some how horrible I am. How I am pretty but it is a shame that I am so negative. I am negative for telling the truth about those who have discriminated against me. I have been told I am an unhappy person in denial by those in denial of the truth of their own behaviors, actions/in-actions towards me. Many allow the discrimination by turning a blind eye to it, because to admit that it is happening would mean they would have to do something about it. They don’t want to help me because it would disrupt their comfort and positions in society..

I experienced a huge range of emotions.. from hopelessness, sorrow, shock, anger and then my in my conscious defense ( humor ) humor to fight the ignorance and stupidity.

Last night before falling asleep I asked the Universe or the Divine for a dream to help guide me or to help me.. this is called lucid dreaming. I have been able to lucid dream since I was a child; but I am not always answered by the Divine or Universal Energy.. but I was last night.. I am finding as my struggle with society begins to become even more heated that I feel the presence of the I AM.. with me directly. The dream I had last night almost feels miraculous ….

” I sat still and motionless on the lily pad.. I was the small green fog. I was still within the pod.. I floated without effort..I was the lily pad. I quietly opened to the sun..as my petals peeled back one by one and my fragrance filled the air.. I was the lily. The light breathed through me.. I carried it with in me.. I was the air. I burned my warmth forth without effort.. I was the sun. I looked within.. I was in everything; I wasn’t trying, I just was.. the Buddha.” ~ The Dream

I hope you can see the beautiful humility in the words. Humility is the greatest force of The Divine.. it is only through humility that we find the God/Goddess within us. It is only through humility that we are able to see through or own egos and the egos of others..

The Buddha didn’t speak to me but spoke through me and through the peace of tranquility .. The Buddha carried both the masculine and the feminine in my dream… this represented balance again..or the still center. In my dream the Buddha was blue.. this is the color of truth.. and the Buddha was showing me it’s eye wide open.. it was the color of tropical waters or turquoise.. the spiritual meaning of turquoise is peace.. meditation, mediation, protection, comfort, calm, stillness, healing.. turquoise is the color of basic truth and deep wisdom.

The Buddha was telling me that I am dealing with ego’s that are steeped in illusions .. My society and all society is mesh of illusions projected by ego.. the emotions of these egos.. or their projected perceptions of how they see themselves and how they see the world is being projected onto me..as they attempt to label me to fit me into their illusions. I am provoking their response by not allowing myself or them to tangle me up in their illusions.. to be my truth or the truth is highly offensive to them..as their illusions give them great comfort, status, wealth or prestige in society..the only way for them to find Nirvana was for the Buddha to find Nirvana.. by seeking only the truth past illusion or ego..

If I were to accept their illusion.. I would be crushed by it.. as they seem to have to put me into the victim role for them to excuse themselves from their own dysfunctional attitudes and behavior… and that has been denial of their own egos..

And so it is that I find Nirvana.. by seeing the truth.. for truth ..by the stillness and humility of internal balance.. meditation.. by being the Buddha within all things..

And so it is that this dream brought me peace, protection, tranquility..and the power to keep being the truth.

{ 3 things cannot be hidden long;

The sun

The moon

The truth } ~~ Buddha

A Higher Ferquency

 

I must say that I am pretty humbled by this epiphany .. I understand now.. what it means be a higher frequency..

 

I see that I am misunderstood by my local community..mainly the professional community..because I am the living shift of the higher consciousness that they do not understand. I have to be of the higher soul evolution to help birth the souls evolution for creation.. and they have not yet caught up..and so they see my authenticity .. the butterfly, as a strange thing indeed..because to them.. to evolve seems like death..as we have to let the old die back for the new self to be reborn. I am the reborn. I wear no mask. I walk my talk. I am the change..for I have become one with change.. to them this is dangerous.. it means having the courage to go within..turn and face the death of the old ways of being… to them I am their devil or the death of their egos..they don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel..they only see the darkness at the beginning of the tunnel..

I brave their hatred.. and I brave their rejection.. because I know it is but an illusion .. they exist were I once was.. I wore the masks of social nice.. that suffocated me slowly … I played their games of pretending not to feel what I was feeling least I should offend someone..and not be liked or accepted by a person, a group of people or an entire community..and like them.. like they all do now.. I lay in bed thinking ” No one really knows me.. ”

But I shed that skin.. she is dead.. long gone..and how glad I am.. to have shed the bad marriage.. to let people really see me..to speak to be heard..to live out loud..and to run outside of the fences of social norms..that turn us grey and invisible..blending us into each other.. making us all conform for the fear of what it means to truly be free..

This is ” The Hero’s Journey” it always has been..the perfect metaphor.. for the leap of faith..

It takes courage,, to let go and be guided by faith.

 

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