Posts Tagged ‘Feminist’

Mr. Ego

You know your on to him and over him when you stop reacting to him.. it’s just that simple. You need to become aware of his games and his need for constant attention. He needs people to see him do everything… he needs a constant audience’s approval or applause..and he needs to control women by doing things that intentionally piss them off; hurt their feelings or confuse them.. he is the kinda guy that comes into your life as Prince Char.. and ends up being the Devil’s ball and chain around your neck.. he weighs you down.. creates mental confusion and gaslights you into over reacting over his attention seeking .. he just loves to get you going.. he is vampiric.. he is just like Count Dracula .. he looks and acts so smooth when people are not aware of his true intentions.. his intentions to own them by public actions or PR.. his smooth and suave words just slither off his lips like liquid silver..but they are tainted with a invisible toxic..it is the intent of fooling others into following him and swooning over him .. of giving him a yummy ego and energy feed..while really he offers nothing meaningful or truly fulfilling..he is all sugar, empty calories..tooth decay.. he is a rotten apple dressed up in a beautifully wrapped golden, gift box.. he is Mr. Brag.. Mr.Swag.. Mr.Look at how great I am.. Look at how many people I know, how much money I have.. look at how many women want me.. he wants you to follow him because he knows you think if you do.. you can have what he has..but he hasn’t any intention of bringing you in.. he isn’t going to share how he got wealthy.. or his wealth..if you are a woman he will fuck you physically and emotionally..if he can’t get to you physically he will fuck with you mentally, emotionally and spiritually.. he is like a male Siren,.. he will sing sweet nothings into your ear..all the while to pull you into the deep end..to wrap himself around you..and take you down and drown you.. then he will feed off of your remains..sharing your corpse with those in on his games..

So how do you spot him.. you watch him.. you get him alone and watch the mask fall off.. you catch on to what he is saying, doing and posting.. and you listen to your own energy.. you will know when your giving it away to him..do you feel drained and confused.. do you feel exhausted from the inside out.. do you feel sad or angry?? He can become like an addiction and he is addicted to his own drama.. Mr.Drama King.. he will grab you by your own drama and drag you in..

Listen.. he is going to keep doing the shit he is doing with our without you.. if you react and get pulled in.. if you get mad or sad..or react physically .. if you post shit about him..he wins.. he has got you..he is dragging you down into the deep and drowning you in misery.. and he is laughing.. all the way to the Ego Bank.. leaving your balance at Zero.. making you feel like nothing..so he can feel like everything.. so do this.. for get about him..stop caring about him..accept that he is what he is..and move on..set yourself free.. stop giving a shit..

The way to free yourself from his snare.. is to just see the devil for the devil.. and when you stop feeding the devil..he looses power over you.. and he will move on to new prey.. either he will lead them to totally self destruct..or they will catch on to him.. and he will wither away..and he will find a new crowd..a new following..who are blinded by his fools gold.. blinded by his smooth words and suave bullshit..but some people deserve it for wanting to be just like him..

But know this.. you were always way to good for him.. LOL

Don’t let them dull your sparkle

 

It really felt like the last day of summer in Kelowna BC today.. because of the intense smoke from the forest fires the beaches were almost empty today.. not normal for the end of August in a summer tourist destination.. My kids were away for the entire week on vacation with my ex husband; their father.. I hit the gym hard.. and stayed in to work online. But it being my last day of freedom I decided to brave the smoke.. get off line..and out of the gym and get the hell outside.. I just wanted to get one more paddle boarding in before the weather cooled down. I didn’t want to rent from this one woman because she is in with the clicks in Kelowna.. the snotty bitches and the snotty bastards.. those people who judge me for my book.. for the topic of sexuality.. who just judge me for being different period; but as I drove from beach to beach they were the only rentals that I could find that were renting.. and that’s what I told the young woman working for the snotty woman.. she told me that she wanted to pack everything up and not rent to me.. but I told her ” You have all your rentals out.. your trailer is open.. you haven’t packed anything up..it’s only 1 pm and I ready to give you my money.” Unbelievably she got her “boss” on the phone to ask her if it was ( Ok) to rent to me.. I haven’t ever experienced such rudeness as a customer in my life!.. Then she only wanted me to rent for 1 hr.. even though I am a paying customer, I had to talk her into letting me rent for 2 hrs { I NEVER! } I just couldn’t believe the rudeness as she tried to guilt trip me of the likelihood that I could loose a $200 paddle and end up owning them? It was truly twilight zone material.. the shit just blows my mind.. but fuck them.. “rent me a board ..get your drama and your bullshit outta my face.. “and then off I went..off to open water and the wild blue yonder .. but what a bunch a shit..

The beginning of my stay vacation on the paddle board, I was thinking about my Summer of Fuckery in Kelowna BC.. 2015 Summer of Fuckery.. first it was the photographer on the first day of summer…that pretended to be my friend.. to have me believe that he was going to take lovely well finished professional shots of me for my Free The Nipple post on this here blog.. to send me totally unfinished shots just to fuck with me for his snotty Kelowna connections.. of snotty bitches..and other snotty photographers..and other snotty artist .. etc.. etc.. that blew my mind.. Oh the fuckery..from the fuckers..

Then it was meeting with a local man ..who was oh so charming at first.. and I fell for him hard.. I feel in love at first sight.. Like a stupid, childish girl.. only to see that he met with me and followed me on facebook to get revenge on me, for his snotty friends in Kelowna Society.. and I was heartbroken.. truly broken by that.. I cried.. I wept.. I got angry.. I was shocked.. I was metaphorically run through by an arrow well aimed .. not for love or passion ..but for the pure sake of feeding his ego..and his friend’s egos..for the sake of fuckery.. from the fuckers.. I thought as I paddled ..

But then something wonderful happened after I paddled under the bridge.. I found a spot were the water was greener than green… and as I sat down on the board I felt like I was looking into a perfectly decorated fish tank.. long green underwater plants spiraled up to meet me and little blue minnows danced between then.. and I was present with them..with the peace and serenity .. the tranquility that I craved.. that my soul needed to heal.. to breath .. to let go of them.. and I thought ” Fuck them ” Fuck them and their bullshit posturing for social popularity.. I am Amazing Grace.. I am peace and I am Grace Under Pressure.. I am beautiful despite their nastiness and pettiness .. I am like these little minnows swimming sweetly in their bliss.. I don’t care what they think.. I just don’t care..” just give me the board and the paddle and get the fuck outta my face.’” And then I came to a place were the osprey nested..and they called out ..and I called back to them..and they got louder and I sang back to them..and they swooped and swooshed over my board.. and then a flock of Canadian geese flew big circles around me before deciding to land close by me..and I heard the music in their wings..their perfect timing.. and the water ripped greens, purples and blues..the smoke from the fires didn’t bother me at all..as I sat in a yoga posture..to meditate in nature.. the board under me rocking in the soft waves like a cradle..and I knew they just didn’t matter.. not at all.. not at all.. I am in my center.. in my own still center.

When I brought the board back..they were just as rude.. they had packed everything up.. I brought the board in 10 min early..but the didn’t even acknowledge me..they practically ignored me.. they didn’t even hand me my belongings from their trailer.. I had to reach in and grab my beach bag and purse myself..and then search for my shoes ..

I sat on the park bench to put on my shorts, shirt and shoes..I said to an older man sunbathing ” I will never rent from that woman again.” I told him what happened.. we talked for a bit.. He was a real estate developer from Montreal .. we talked about my book.and his business.. he asked me ” Should I buy some land here.. ?” I told him too.. I said “Kelowna is a goldmine for real estate development .. everyone wants to retire here or own a summer condo.. if you have that kind of money.. you should do it.” he told he was traveling all over Canada looking for land to purchase for developments.. then he said to me ” You are someone very special.. you sparkle.. your energy is amazing.. you have that certain something..a star quality that not many people have but wish they had.. when you first started talking to me, before you told me about your troubles here in your city.. I thought you were already a famous person on vacation here.. you don’t fit in here because your energy and sparkle are bigger than here.. you belong in high places.. you shine..don’t let them dull your sparkle.” he proclaimed in a thick French Canadian accent .. the he said ” Beat them with gratitude .. you are beautiful, healthy and very intelligent..be grateful that you are not like them.” And then he shook my hand.. he had a nice firm hand shake… and as I left we wished each other well and blessed…

And then I stopped to smell the flowers.. because I am grateful for the tiny bit of summer we have left..

I am grateful.

Over him

 

It’s such a wonderful liberating moment when you realize you are fully over a guy. I was putting on my makeup at the gym this morning after a brutal workout.. one leg up high on the counter like a dancer..as a song came on and he suddenly burst into my mind.. of course it was the song that was playing when I met him.. but as he entered my mind with the song I realized I hadn’t thought of him for a long time..and that is when I knew I was over him… then my mind went back to the few men that I have encountered over the last several years; after my separation and divorce..and I relished at the thoughts of being over them too..and then in my mind I thanked my ex husband’s mistress for taking him off my hands..I began to be really honest with myself..and my own bullshit.

I really like my freedom right now.. I think I always did..as soon as the ex left.. I think my spirit soared even though my heart was broken by the rejection..but I think subconsciously I drove him away.. because he was boring LOL LOL LOL and he wasn’t very smart.. he was awful in bed..he was boring in bed too!… I think it was a sweet self-sabotage .. that was really like a prison run!

And now here I am.. an independent single mom..and yes sometimes it’s scary.. it’s a lot of work..and I do get lonely.. and because I am not the type that sees sex as recreation .. I really miss having sex ..but I have learned about my own body and I am really good at pleasuring myself.. waaaaaaaaaaaay better than my ex ( hahaha ) my sex life got a lot better without him in the room.. but ya know the few guys that I have been with since then..{ very disappointing }.. and if they were half decent in bed they weren’t out of the bedroom.. having a guy fuck with your head, energy and time just isn’t worth it.. so truly there hasn’t been one guy to this date that has been worth giving up my single life for.. but now I love being alone.

I love that feeling of getting over a guy.. just walking away.. closing that emotional door..and bolting for the open meadows.. fuck it! Like the runaway bride.. I don’t ever want a traditional relationship again.. I don’t want the wedding.. I don’t want to be WIFEY .. GAWD NO!  I am really not keen on meeting his mother either.. I don’t want to be whittled way by a guy ever again.. they do this thing; where they slowly try to change you into their MOTHER! NOOOoooooooooooo! You see it all the time.. a woman that is hot and sexy gets into a relationship…gets engaged..and then she starts to get motherly looking..she starts to dress more conservatively or motherly..or just fucking frumpy .. then she starts to get lumpy ( fat ) and out of shape..and she starts to loose herself in his life! GAWD NO! She starts to loose her metaphorical voice..she tones it down.. dumbs herself down.. his opinion becomes hers! FUCK! Cause guys like kind women.. doormats to marry LOL! So he domesticates her with guilt trips and hidden agendas..and constantly compares her to his friends wives and his fucking mother. And 5 years later she looks in the mirror and sees a stranger.. she says ” Who the fuck am I ?”

I can be kind..but I can be a little, wild bitch..and ya know what..I like both sides of myself.. I like my wild, little, bitch, badass.. tell it like it is..give it to you strait up ..wild child self..and when I am in the mood to bake or cook and sing and be like Disney I do..but fuck being a doormat ..fuck dumbing myself down for some guy who is a big baby.. who can’t get over his mommy.. fuck that!

I am so over that guy.. calling him a pussy is a complement.. pussy are awesome.. he is an asshole.. I am over him.

If a guy is going to enter my life.. he is going to be intelligent, emotionally mature.. he doesn’t have to be rich or be super hot.. just my kinda hot.. my kinda wild fire.. and he isn’t going to be some boring shit.

I can’t see me sitting at charity events.. with some boring rich bastard.. nor can I see me tolerating Mr.Charming and tolerating his incessant need for public adoration.. I need a man who has a wild roaming spirit..someone to challenge me.. mentally.. not some boring, big baby ego maniac.

Or maybe once again this is my own bullshit.. maybe secretly I am like the wind.. nothing and no one can hold me in..tie me down .. maybe I am like my native grandfather.. I am gypsy.. I am just gonna follow the moon and the stars..

It’s a mystery even to me?

The Goddess

 

( From the book ~ The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ~ ) Available on Amazon.ca

Isis the Star


Isis is the root of all the Goddesses of ancient times; she is the Divine Mother. Isis is the soul of the Star Sirius. Sirius is believed to be the gateway to the higher consciousness through the River of Stars. Therefore it is believed that Isis brought forth the higher consciousness of the Divine through her incarnation on this earth. Isis represents Mother Nature or the Mother of all humanity and all living things.

Isis incarnated to become The Muse of the civilized world; she was known as The Lady Of Love, protection, healing, beauty, fertility, art, music, abundance, mystery and magic; to name a few of her attributes.

As civilization sprang forth from Egypt it is believed that the root of all religion comes from this era in time. Isis, Osiris (her husband) and Horus (Their Divine Son) were all molded into Greek and Roman Mythology and through the Roman Catholic Church they were woven into Christianity. Mary Mother of Jesus is said to be Isis and Horus.

Jesus has been called the Morning Star in the bible as he originated from the belief that Isis and her descendants came from the Star Sirius and Sirius is the heavenly proof of their Divine Origin of the Higher Consciousness of Divinity.

 

It is believed that Isis and her family were real living people and that all of us come from this pool of DNA; our Divinity is our divine birthright. It is the established organized world order that wishes to keep control of their elite status through controlling the masses by fear. The fear that this so called cult or paganism will damn us all to hell; but in truth all is one and the root of the Egyptian Ancient culture taught that all originated from one divine source.

 

In moving away from sacredness and the wisdom that sex is an act of sacred union, we have soiled the sacred and lost ourselves in our own profanity. It is the goal of the elite to keep those under them down; the divine teaches that all is equal and that the truly civilized are wise enough to love and cherish the differences between the sexes and to understand the duality of the soul.  A truly divine civilization lives in a state of compassion. This is and was the Divine plan.

Heaven Sent

 

 

 

Heaven sent me to love,

Heaven filled me with light,

A light so bright,

Soft and white,

To pull you into my heart.

 

Heaven sent me to you,

To show you the right thing to do,

I am filled with warmth,

To comfort you,

I am here for you.

 

Heaven sent me to guide,

I am the pureness of truth,

I am to show you,

You,

I will bring you joy.

 

Heaven sent me to understand,

To show and bring wisdom in,

Into your heart,

To show you,

The soul you are.

 

Heaven sent me here,

To help and protect,

I  am here to remind you,

You are all,

You are light.

 

Heaven sent I am,

I illuminate,

I shine,

I bring in a higher way,

A pathway to the stars.

 

Heaven sent me to open your heart,

To show you the way through,

I will walk with you,

Through the pain and fear,

To bring you back,

To love.

 

Heaven sent the light,

The light is love,

Through the heart,

We all are saved,

We all have Heaven.

From Beyond

 

You saw me leave my body

But I am not gone

I am here as energy

I am here for eternity

 

I will never leave your side

I will guide you gently on

I was never gone

I am in the great beyond

 

I speak to you in your dreams

I live within a song

I move on the wind

I am and I will live on

 

I will fill your heart with love

I will bring hope

I am your shining star

I will carry you through

 

I whisper to your soul

I come to you unexpectedly

I come to you when your heart calls me

I will always be with you.

Use Me

 

I am nothing without you

I am your instrument

I need you to hold me

Hold me in your hands,

 

I empty myself

I make room for you

I need your divinity

Please use me,

 

I understand that I am your creation

I understand through this wisdom

I know that I live for this

For this time and place

To be in this space of nothingness,

 

Please use me

Play your music through me

Create using me

Bring peace through me

I live for this and nothing less,

 

I am your instrument

I am your paintbrush

I am your canvas

I am your pen and your paper

Please use me,

 

Nothing I want more than this

Is to set my ego aside

To see that I am more than this

To be your tool to create bliss

Please use me,

 

I surrender to this

This is my reason to exist

To be one with you

I must surrender myself

I must use my gifts,

 

I am filled with your light

I will help it shine

I will bring it forth,

By putting me aside

I am yours

When I chose to be the submissive

The Goddess

( From the book ~ The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ~ ) Available on Amazon.ca

MAD

 

I am mad because I am done with being judged as a woman!

 

I am mad because society has no compassion.

 

I am mad because all the tenderness and the kindness of humanity is locked behind selfishness and greed.

 

I am so sick of men trying to make me into either a virgin or a whore! I am sick of it; what the heck is up with that?

 

Women are either puritan or porn star. You’re the guy’s mother or his tramp!

 

A tramp is a woman that likes and wants sex; his mother is the opposite, you see to all his other needs and then lay down and go through the motions; telling him and yourself your doing it for him so you’re not a tramp.

 

Of course women who are single mothers; looking for a man are just trashy! How dare a single mother like me not make her kids her only priority? God forbid that I should need and want my basic needs for love and partnership met! God forbid that I want someone to share my life with; someone to laugh with, cry with and yes have sex with; I would rather say it as having someone to make love to and be made love to; but NO, that’s just being man crazy and a bad freaken mother!

 

Double fricken standards put on women by society; Sex is dirty or pure; that’s bullshit! It isn’t either! Sex is a way that two people come together to build and maintain intimacy and it is a physical release. Why can’t we all just grow up!?

 

Why do we have to make things evil or good? Why can’t we just see things for the way they are? Gees ya know? It’s just so childish the way we have to label everyone as either good or bad when we ourselves are both! We are all human; we have a basic need for love and to be touched physically.

 

It is the taboo that we put on sex that makes it dirty or pure; it is our childish perspectives; Gawd we need to get a grip!

 

Society needs to grow up! We need to stop telling women to be plastic freaks, with Botox filled faces and fake boobs; starving ourselves to look the way we are told is attractive.

 

Men;  you guys have got to start seeing women as people with souls and hearts that are easily broken; a woman’s heart is as tender as her breast; we are so fragile we need love and tenderness! We need to be held and heard and seen!

 

The human body is a miracle in its self; it is creation’s finest work of art; it is beautiful, sensual and amazing. We treat our bodies like crap! We eat crap! We don’t exercise enough! Or we go to the other polar opposite and we starve and over work ourselves for fashion and not for HEALTH!

 

We are out of balance.. Everything is black or white; good or evil. We don’t have any compassion for the fallen soul… even though we are all fallen and imperfect.

 

I just want to know where is the love?

 

I myself am so sick of being looked at and sized up; I am bad mom cause I am sexy and free spirited..why? How do people jump to that?

 

I am writing my book to show that women can be sexual; be mothers; be grandmothers; be professionals; WE CAN BE WHAT WE WANT! Oh it is said to us; but in our repressed society it is not true; we are not given that room; we are still fighting for our freedom to be people in our own right. If I am a mother it doesn’t mean I turn into a child again because I have children. It is like society is afraid that if a mother is a sensual being she is messing up her kids; but the opposite is true; to be repressed sexually is to teach your children the same damn thing.

 

What is being sexual; IT IS IN YOUR TRUE NATURE…gawd!

 

It doesn’t make you are dirty; God made men and women to fit into each other or if you don’t believe in God then science and nature did that! And so being the civilized humans that we are supposed to be means that we can express our sexuality with dignity.. *sigh*

 

Diginity; meaning that we honor our sexuality; understand it’s importance while not hurting ourselves and others with uncontrolled urges. So that means not to become so entrenched in your sexuality that it becomes an addiction; meaning sex is all you live for and think about constantly; because life should be lived in balance for health; emotional, spiritual, physical and mental health.

 

But to be aware and proud of your sexuality is perfectly healthy!

 

Being ashamed of the human body is ignorant; being ashamed of your own body is insecurity and self-defeating.

 

The way to love your own body is to take care of your body and to do away with media hype and learn to accept and love your imperfections…damn it!

 

I just hope by writing this book that I can show humanity how to live in health and compassion.

 

Women’s sexuality is totally misrepresented in the media; we are still seen as plastic dolls that are bad girls if we like sex and seek sex out; we are tramps and we deserve to be used my men cause we like sex.. It’s crap! Good girls are shown as being there just for a man’s comfort and needs.. Period! It’s crap!

 

Women do like sex with love… we need tenderness; we need not to be held up to an impossible standard by our men.. We need to take the time to look after ourselves and love our bodies; without guilt trips for caring and nurturing ourselves and not just everyone else.

The Feminine Feminist

 

I want to get straight to the point of this post.. to generalize old school feminists seem to think they have to cover up or tone down their sexuality to be taken seriously in the world as feminists. The people they are attempting to please with covering up or dumbing down their sexuality are men. So it is easy to conclude that by doing so they own you ( The Patriarchy ) by your very basic nature… to connect the dots further, it’s my conclusion that this further dis-empowers women and that is why feminism hasn’t gained anymore ground since the 1970s.. If women feel that they have to wear no make-up; wear frumpy clothes, or just be frumpy in general… not talk openly and honestly or even scientifically about their sexuality … well they have washed out their own empowerment.. by being twice as educated as men to be taken seriously by men .. trying to look or blend in with men. trying to discourage sexual advances in their professional or personal lives.. is to say they are in essence responsible for any sexual harassment or sexual discrimination should they shed the sexual shame or repression and step fully into their own bodies.. they are owned by their sexuality just as much as Mother Teresa was owned and labeled saintly by the Patriarchy for staying within the sexual repression or stigmas.. they are owned by the media or social Patriarchy just as much as Marilyn Monroe was owned and made into a sex symbol or ( thing ) by Hollywood Patriarchy..

Everything needs a revision.. including feminism. Upon reading comments posted under a article about Free The Nipple… a movement posed by the next generation of Feminist.. about women being just as free in their bodies as men are in public places.. I read from older women claiming to be feminist; how slutty these young women were.. wanting to have the same sexual freedoms as men… older feminist indoctrinated into their own sexual shaming. slut shaming young women because they ultimately see them as a sexual threat..and they are projecting their own fears of being socially shunned or taken seriously by men. ..onto the next generation of feminists. The young women wanting to show their nipples in the same public places as men show theirs..were not shameful.. it is the sexual repressive attitudes of older feminist in their 60s and up.. it’s a shame that they cannot see were their generation went wrong.. were they cannot see were they gave into their own sexual repression and it is the freeing of their own sexuality that will truly empower them… whatever level their sexuality many or may not be..if they be more masculine or feminine within themselves.. no one has a right to sexually repress others into attempting to place them within a mold of conformity for their own comfort.

I know not every woman is comfortable going topless in public places were men go topless.and it’s their right to do as they please.. if women believe that to go topless at the beach they have to have perfect young bodies..think again..just take your examples from men.. trust me they go shirtless at all fitness levels..ages and body types.. men don’t give a shit and neither should we..if we want to be free in our sexuality..well then fuck the unequal beauty standards placed on women.. it’s up to us to stand our ground in our own skin..

I have had many men tell me I am too feminine to be a feminist… I hope that the next generation changes that.. men and women are both feminist if they believe in equal rights and opportunities for both men and women.. the feminist stereotypes need to be smashed..freedom doesn’t live in a box.

Competition is for the weak

 

The reason we compete is to gain the approval of others and to qualify ourselves as better than others.. the truly strong or empowered know they are their own competition. I am not just talking about sports.. I am talking about life. Since writing my blog and website I have had many women assume that I put my topless pictures online and have written about my sexuality simply to get male and media attention. I understand the assumptions and the confusion as many women and men use their sexuality online to compete against others and simply for the sake of attention.. like getting 15 min of fame.. like making stupid people famous.. becoming famous for showing tits and ass.. with no other reason except for the sake of deep rooted insecurities and immaturities. I used my nudity in a very calculated and intellectual way to promote natural sexuality and sexual health… to out sexual repression. Quite frankly when another woman poses herself as my competition online or in my daily life I think it is a ridiculous waste of her time and energy.. if she truly wants to be great she should just be herself.. if she truly wants to be great she should do something for humanity outside of herself.. and I think when other women compete against other women they are comparing themselves..if you are truly an empowered woman you know no one can compare to you..as you are unique.. I truly empowered woman is not a brand she is an icon.

In a competition you compete were your so called competitors are competing .. and you have accepted them as your competition by allowing it and accepting them as such.. the iconic run their own race..and metaphorically speaking; it’s a jump off a very high cliff..and they build their wings the way down… this isn’t a race against any competition.. no one else has racing numbers pinned to them.. running beside them ..with a predetermined start and finish line.. you see; for the iconic the finish line is their last breath.. it’s a risk of falling from grace.. to climb all the way back up to the top with a pack full of lessons.. when they plant that flag.. the flag of ” Fuck you ” fuck you.. to the ordinary.. the daily grind.. fuck you to the I wanna be just like them so I can fit in.. fuck you to coloring in the lines..fuck you to rules..fucking stupid rules that keep you on a track already defined by others.. defined by fear..and fuck you to fear.. NO FEAR!

I am not going to stand up in a line up of bikini clad women..who have stripped all the fat off their bodies to see who can look most like the mold ( white ) by white I mean the white entitled definition of beauty were every single women in a beauty contest has to try to look as European as possible.. break that fucking mold.. why the fuck do you want to look like everyone else? Why the fuck do you want to look like the most polished version of plastic crap? Real empowered women don’t compete against other women..they don’t do fashion shoots all lined up with their asses sticking out.. looking like a dime-a-dozen.. looking like they blend one into the other..” Take your pic..or fuck them all” nothing new here.. nothing different.. nothing exciting.. take a good look then move along and forget about it…nothing to remember here.. just the same old..same old ..same as it always was.. women dumbing themselves down to fit into the box.. to fit the mold of beauty lost..the beauty of imperfections and character.. it’s just plastic perfection and the projection of insecurities of women clawing over each other fake eyelashes and nails.. bleached blond, crunchy.. overly processed hair..

But you did something.. or so you think.. you got a trophy and a plastic crown to go with your plastic perfection.. you showed those other bitches who the best and biggest bitch is.. but you are lost.. lost in a rat-race, circle of competition.. lost your true self or any real message.. lost yourself in comparing apples to oranges.. trying to be one.. when you were a peach… but peaches are not trendy right now.. so you had to make yourself into what you are not… and so you blend right in.. all the magic in you lost for nothing… and what you won was the same thing the next girl will win..and you will blend into the pictures on the wall of tinsel fame..that means nothing at all..

It’s degrading.. it’s downgrading … it’s a chipping away of the perfectly/imperfect Goddess that you are..

To take this post in another direction.. I have recently been reading post on The Globe and Mail that feminists are starting to wear granny panties vs thong panties and they are not shaving their legs or arm pits..seems to me that feminist are also being placed into a box by media… it is to say that you have to follow this look of going against what is seen as typical beauty to be a feminist..as if being a feminist means being ugly .. like would you stop showering if it labeled you as a feminist by the media and the world? It is to say that you have to look like this mold or version of a feminist to be taken seriously in the world as a feminist.. well fuck that shit.. A feminist is who the fuck she wants to be.. a feminist is herself..

So write your own story.. create your own art..stop stealing from others.. be original..be an icon.. break the mold..color outside of the lines..wear your freckles with pride.. rock your curves.. be proud of your sexuality.. your own body.. take a leap of faith.. get off the beaten path.. free yourself of mediocrity..don’t be a carbon copy.

http://bookstore.balboapress.com/Products/SKU-000576933/The-Goddess-an-Expression-of-the-Divine-Feminine.aspx link to my book

Comparison is the thief of joy

Or it is an examination of reality..and reality bites.

” Be like water.. flow” Or ” Only dead fish float”

Success .. how do you define success? Is it to rise above others.. to stand out from the crowd by having more than what others have..be it fame or money? I define success as helping others rise.. this is my calling and this is me being truly myself. I have seen the inequalities by comparison my entire life.. from a small child I could see the entitlement of men over women..and racists attitudes and beliefs in our cultures.. I could see from the time my feet hit the earth.. how religion and other organizations brainwashed society into these unequal patterns ..that we act out daily against one another.. and so I rage against the machine.. I rage against the bullshit.. break out of the box and raise my fist against it..and I expose it..I write about it.. to help society rise.

Yes comparison is the thief of joy.. but it is those who place the comparisons that are the true thieves of equality.. they are the black magicians.. the wolves in sheep’s clothing… the lions that seem to be tamed.. the capitalist that calls himself a philanthropist.. is really the wolf hunting the sheep.. in the camouflage of the sheep’s skin.. of the last one he ran through with his hidden agenda.. ” Welcome to the Jungle it gets worse here everyday, ya learn to live like an animal, in the Jungle were we play, if you got a hunger for what you see, you will take it eventually, you can have anything you want but you better not take it from me ” Guns N’ Roses mentality..but the truth will set you free.

If we stop comparing.. we will become food for those who eat people’s faces off.. the lion that you thought you had tamed.. but you loved the lion..you fed the lion.. you even coddled the lion.. and the lion was like a child to you..but when you were alone with the lion.. were no one could see.. the true nature of the lion came out to play..and the lion ate your face off.. this is the nature of the beast.. the nature of greed for those who define their successes as having others bones beneath their feet… it is in the lion’s and the wolves nature to feed.. because this is the Jungle.. and the laws of nature apply.. so you better get wise.. you better watch them for what they do..not for who they say they are.. you better fucking compare sheep to lions.. wolves to rabbits.. victimizers to victims so that you be neither .. these are street smarts .. required by those born into the Jungle.. were you learn to run before you walk.. you learn to get the fuck outta there when the air gets heavy and hot.. you trust your instincts..when the hair raises on the back of your neck you know your being hunted.. you know your being stalked.. to not become the cruel flesh eater.. you don’t join in the feeding frenzy.. you don’t move with the pack.. you become the lone wolf.. the one that goes against the nature of the beast.. to not become the victim you get wise to your own nature.. your own inner beast is the one you tame.. not the beasts outside of yourself.. you don’t walk away you run.. you get gone when the air gets think with blood lust.. this is the wisdom of the lone wolf..of the lion that has truly become the King of the Jungle.. he/she moves at their own pace.

But if women stop comparing inequalities of the 77 cent dollar compared to %100 male dollar the beast will continue to feed on the flesh of the weak that choose to go belly up and float.. if African American’s don’t compare white justice to true justice .. justice will never be manifest.. it will stay The Jungle..and the saints and angels will always be portrayed with white skin..and those of color will remain less than.. this is reality and it bites.. it bites down hard with the intention of tearing flesh down to bone.

So joy walks hand in hand with sorrow.. so we can know joy by comparison towards the depths of deep sadness.. this births wisdom.. because in The Jungle only the prey go belly up.

” In The Jungle, Welcome to the Jungle, watch it bring you to your..It’s gonna bring ya down – HA!”

Break Through

He kept asking me ” If you could have one break through in your life right now what would it be?”

I realize now he is the one who needs to break through his own fears.. funny how projection works.. funny how he was afraid to show me his soul while I was having the courage to offer him my heart and soul wide open..

I don’t need seminars to tell me how to be brave.. I just jump in feet first.. just like I am the first one in the lake..the first one to swim in freezing cold spring waters while other’s my age watch amazed..

They need the to ” Break on through to the other side ”

They have organizations that profess to be for diversity .. but they exclude me due to their prejudice and fears.. they claim to be compassionate and philanthropist.. while in private messages and behind closed doors they are cruel.

They use the press to promote their fake spiritual trends and organizations.. the press it’s self being plastic as hell.. just like them.

They say they support the Goddess Movement holding full moon circles while being to fearful .. terrified of women’s sexuality.. their spirituality watered down..nothing real here.. nothing but pasteurized and purified ..bullshit spirituality.. the sacred made profane by washing it out ..to make it safe for even the fake and flaky .. there is no medicine here.. no Priestesses .. no Goddesses.. just a bunch of women playing it safe.. not realizing that being called a cunt and whore .. were actually complements to the Goddess.. many 1000s of years ago.. the cunt the yoni.. the sacred whore the bridge to heaven.. the passage of the initiation .. the way to life..

They all just skim the surface.. too terrified to really touch the cloak of the divine.. to lift the veil ..to open Pandora’s BOX.. ( they will not understand that metaphor )

They search for the magic in safe and structured places.. because they lack in faith and character..to be about it..to really be the change..

They will not go deeply into the darkest uncharted waters of the soul.. they will not go because others will not go with them.. to find the pearls of wisdom..

The wisdom isn’t found walking the path that others follow.. ( how they love to follow the easy path ).. the wisdom is found were Angels fear to tread.. were only GODS go..

My break through is this… I have the pearl..

And sometimes it is best not to ” Cast your pearls upon swine ”

So let them have their pretty surface organizations.. let them post what they wish they had the courage to do..

And I will keep doing it.. while they gather in groups of spiritual darkness…being to fearful to go deep to find the light within the dark night of the soul..

It’s the only way to find the treasure..to not just say you are about it..but to be it..

With that I hold the Golden Laurel..

Irrelevant

 

I had a conversation just now with a younger woman from my gym who goes topless at a local beach. I went topless with her last summer when Lori Welbourne was pretending to give a shit about the issue to get on the Ellen Degeneres Show.. to recap Lori found out about my book and website through Facebook.. used the issue of women’s sexual repression and many of my ideas to float her own show boat. It didn’t work out for her because she is an asshole ..she couldn’t handle the heat..and a lot of the stuff she did was intended to secretly make a mockery of me so that she could gain favor in our local community clicks..” well Karma is only a bitch if you are Lori..” but anyway Lori promoted this younger woman on her Facebook.. me still thinking Lori was my friend..well I showed up and actually went topless with this girl.. while Lori was missing in action ( Typical of people in Kelowna.. not practicing what they post ) bullshitters.

But the young woman showed me a picture of herself topless on the same beach.. with her graduation cap on.. when I was putting my make up on in the gym change room. I told  her she was brave.. she told me how passionate she felt about women’s topless rights..then we started to talk about my book.. basically her message to me was that my book was irrelevant to intellectual circles and women’s advocate groups because it’s just me, my story.. my image as seven different Goddess archetypes .. my perspective was a mute point because it wasn’t based on hard core data or I didn’t cite my research in the book..but she was relevant because she just graded with a degree and she was on the beach not looking for attention but making ground in Kelowna.

I tried to tell her my book isn’t just for intellectuals ..but for every woman and that every woman’s story is relevant just based on their experience and perspective.. like the micro in the macro.. I tried to explain the archetypes because she wasn’t aware of them. I tied to explain the prejudice in our local arts community due to patrons of the arts being very religions and conservative. Tried to explain to her that my book was much bigger than just a beach.. that putting my website out to the whole world was meant to cover much more ground than just a small unknown beach.. not that what she was doing was irrelevant at all..

I tried to explain world wide religious repression of women’s sexuality, including in our culture, that has caused the repression of my work and my personal sexuality due to my work in our community..but she wanted data.. just like a good student that just graded would.. I tried to explain to her reality vs just hard, cold data and stats.. and then I tried to explain to her that even if a woman was going topless on a beach for attention it doesn’t matter because lots of men go topless for sexual attention.

I tried to explain to her about artistic expression and how that it is just as intellectual as data..if not more so because you have to use your own mind and perspective to appreciate art and literature ..it’s not just data it’s painting with words and images.. but she clearly didn’t understand that.

She didn’t understand what it’s like to put it out there on a larger scale.. what it’s like not to have a boyfriend to sit with me topless on a beach..as I am topless on the web without male protection.. and she didn’t understand that the cops on the beach in the background of her cell phone pic; were actually protecting her and the other woman that were going topless on the beach.. I don’t have that protection.. this is the hard cold reality of a woman expressing her sexuality .. it’s not all hard cold data and studies.. this is the real deal.. a real woman’s story and I think every woman has or will go through the shit I write about to some degree or another.. just for looking sexy or being a sexual being on her own terms or on male patriarchal sexual control forms, like playboy..

I don’t think my story; writing or work..is irrelevant.. just as I think every woman’s story is relevant.. including hers.. I truly hope she totally wins that beach over for all women who want to practice their right to be topless were men can be topless..as I hope for my success as well..to be found and picked up by a publishing house or some big time celeb who will help me fly this dream for the sake of all women..

As for Lori.. it’s a damn shame that other women have to attempt to build a false dream on the real dreams of other women.. that is sad..very sad.. women must stop the competition for a true sisterhood and or Goddess Movement to emerge from the ashes of a Patriarchy we wish to burn down to the nasty roots it sprung from.

http://bookstore.balboapress.com/Products/SKU-000576933/The-Goddess-an-Expression-of-the-Divine-Feminine.aspx  find my book on this link

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