Posts Tagged ‘Dating on Plenty of Fish’

I am to old for this shit

 

The world is totally disconnected and on a smaller scale men and women are totally disconnected, and I am just too old for this shit. It has become much to easy for people to get their fetish kicks off snapchats, Facebook and through online dating apps than to make real, honest and truly intimate, personal connections.. and I am just too old for this shit.  I am too old and wise to go chasing after men and to go bat-shit-crazy over cock, frankly I have better things to do with my time and energy like writing this right now on my blog. I guess the problem is many women think their entire lives and spare time should be spent chasing cocky,cocks and/or competing against other women for said dick.. I am just too damn old for this shit.

As much as I seem like a bad ass rock star for going topless with my images online and having my own personal nudes in my book, I am very low key in my day to day life. I am scheduled and regimented; that means { very strictly organized and controlled } I am a single mother of three kids so in order for me to get my me-time in I damn well better have my shit together. I love my fitness lifestyle and in that I am very military. I could make the time to go out to the clubs to drink and chase after players or wanna-be-players but I would rather get to bed early to get my healing for my muscles so I can lift heavy again the next day. I would rather be spending my time on self improvement rather than being another desperate single older woman sitting on a bar stool. I am not wasting my time, on guys who just want to waste my fucking time.

And then there are vibrators; a very wonderful invention that stops good women from sleeping with assholes, because if you can self pleasure well or amazingly, awesomely well; one can wait for a man to love you rather than to just fuck you and fuck you over. I am very thankful for the invention of vibrators and I think if more women explored their own bodies there would be less desperate women to choose from; so men who play these horseshit games would have to stop games and smarten the fuck up.

One of the craziest things about living in these times of  virtual dating is that both men and women are shamed for saying they want a relationship, as if that makes you desperate and emotionally weak? It’s truly fucked up, just like slut shaming for saying you want and like sex. While wanting and liking sex is a primal need so is wanting a mate. In today’s violent society love and intimacy are seen as weaknesses rather than strengths but being cold and ruthless, self serving or selfish is seen as gangster; and we wonder why the world is totally fucked up right now.. and I am just too old for this shit.

We live in an online world were people can basically pretend to be anything they want; like happily married while they cheat on their spouses. Both men and women can pull off a false persona online while being totally creepy fucktards in person. I have learned not to waste your energy or time texting your heart and emotions to anyone online on a dating site because chances are they are married and want to fuck you secretly or they are just playing ego games with you and will not meet you in person; or when you do meet them in person they don’t want to give you their real name as their motives or intentions were never honest to begin with.

So were does this lead us to again… I am too old for this shit. Do you feel me? It seems like romance is totally dead and in it’s place a false zombie has risen to consume all of our souls. It remindes me of my ex husband’s midlife crisis, it was like ” Where is my husband and what have you done with him, you evil demon?” That is dating and romance today; it is humanity today, it seems our souls and hearts have been consumed with Snapchat filters, dating apps and online profiles that are absolute bullshit.

So what choices does that give me as a non cock chaser? Guess I better get used to the fact that I am going to be alone in the middle of the night writing on my blog….because I am too old for this shit, and too fucking wise.

A nightmare date

 

Ok so follow me on this one.. I am going to be digressing and messing around with your ability to keep track of my spastic thoughts..

I was trail running this morning.. being December I was running over frozen mud and patches of ice trying to keep up my momentum without falling on my ass.. and as usual I was thinking. I am always thinking.. it’s exhausting..seriously wish I could take my brain out of my head and put it on ice. I need a vacation from my brain… anyway.. I was pushing myself though the end of my 15 km run..the last 3 km being the hardest..{thinking} bout people that push themselves to finish.. Steve Jobs flashed into my mind..then the poem ” The Crazy One’s” cause I am crazy one.. I was running 15 km in Dec ( she says sarcastically ) .. or < insert sarcasm here > but then I remembered the DATE.. ” Oh shit.. I believed that jerk for this entire time.. that was like 4 years ago..and I am so gullible I believed him up til this flash of sudden fucking awareness” You see he got me all worked up by telling me he wrote that poem for Steve Jobs ..and I believed him.. he went so far as to pretend to complete the rest of the poem..and I believed him.. gawd I am just too innocent and trusting for my own good.. stupid little Polly-Anna!

you can click on the Steve Jobs image to enlarge it if you like…

I thought this guy was a genius… but in a way he was.. very manipulative..smart enough to see that I was new to dating..newly separated and so I was like live bait… *sigh*

He put Steve Jobs in my head.. he was also an older man.. his pictures on the dating site were great..he kinda had a Spock/Steve thingy going on for him. Chatting with him on the site.. he was very intelligent. He said he was in a rehabilitation center for sleeping pill addiction.. that his work caused him great stress.. and I believed him; because my divorce lawyer had gone through the same thing. But my lawyer was a great guy, had his shit together so I figured this guy was in the same league .. I was so wrong. Your going to laugh at how wrong I was. I was wronger than wrong. I must of been insane.

We then talked for hours on the phone. I thought I was in love with his mind. I loved our conversations about physics/ quantum theory .. religion.. politics.. human rights..and sex. Nothing is more attractive to me than a guy with a huge brain; a distinguished-ness.. or class. Within a couple of weeks of texting and talking on the phone I was ready to meet him. He just had to finish his rehab..

He took a bus to meet me because he said he had to renew his licence..but couldn’t since being in rehab..but he couldn’t wait to meet me. I was so excited! I thought I was going to meet the love of my life. I really truly did. I thought ” This it!”  [ I was so fucking dumb ] Oh my GAWD my dumb blond was showing!

I had planned to have him over to my place for dinner. I was going to pick him up from the Greyhound.. then have him over for dinner..than take him to his Hotel.. but this is what happened instead.. brace yourselves..

The man who got off the bus was not him.. it just wasn’t him ( he had used someone else’s picture ) He sorta looked like him..but he wasn’t him .. the guy who got off the bus.. had a hunched back  —I am not fucking kidding— He had warts all over his face and neck..and hands —I am not fucking kidding— his clothes were worn out.. his sneakers.. yes they were sneakers.. looked like they were 20 years old going by fashion. He talked like a girl — I am not fucking kidding— he looked like the kinda weirdo that masturbated in public washrooms. { Ok now I am so ashamed } not only that..but when I started putting things together in my head it dawned on me rather suddenly that he wasn’t in rehab.. and why he didn’t have a car.. because he was a mental patient on a short leave… It was so HORRIBLE!

You are probably thinking. ” How could he be so smart but be ( I gotta say it ) one of The Crazy One’s?”

Because some of the craziest people are very brilliant.. true story..but incapable of living with the public because of chemical imbalances that cause them to be a harm to themselves or others.. he was that..and it was shocking to me how I had been such a tool myself. I was so fooled ..if I only knew then what I know now about dating and online dating..

We sat side by side in the Greyhound terminal for about 15 mins. I told him as kindly but as honestly that I could that he couldn’t come to my place for dinner.. I asked him were his Hotel was..and told him I would drive him to it. He told me he thought he was staying with me..that he didn’t have any money at all; only a 2 way ticket back to his ” rehab” the next day. I ended up putting him up at an expensive Hotel myself because it was one of the few available; because of a sporting even in town.. it was pricey..I paid for my stupidity..

Not only did I pay for my stupidity with the Hotel room and a very rude awakening to my too innocent and trusting nature ( that could get me in serious trouble ) but I also paid in cell phone bills..my phone wasn’t hooked up to .. wifi

So ya… reality bites!

I haven’t been on online dating for a long time.. just started again in the last couple of weeks..got sorta stood up for dinner tonight by a guy asking me to pay because his soon to be ex-wife just emptied the accounts and cleaned off the credit cards.. guess who passed up that?

I think the world is full of BAT-SHIT CRAZY

 

Love and Dating…the beautiful dreamer

Love and Dating…the beautiful dreamer.

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