Posts Tagged ‘competition’

Competition is for the weak


The reason we compete is to gain the approval of others and to qualify ourselves as better than others.. the truly strong or empowered know they are their own competition. I am not just talking about sports.. I am talking about life. Since writing my blog and website I have had many women assume that I put my topless pictures online and have written about my sexuality simply to get male and media attention. I understand the assumptions and the confusion as many women and men use their sexuality online to compete against others and simply for the sake of attention.. like getting 15 min of fame.. like making stupid people famous.. becoming famous for showing tits and ass.. with no other reason except for the sake of deep rooted insecurities and immaturities. I used my nudity in a very calculated and intellectual way to promote natural sexuality and sexual health… to out sexual repression. Quite frankly when another woman poses herself as my competition online or in my daily life I think it is a ridiculous waste of her time and energy.. if she truly wants to be great she should just be herself.. if she truly wants to be great she should do something for humanity outside of herself.. and I think when other women compete against other women they are comparing themselves..if you are truly an empowered woman you know no one can compare to you are unique.. I truly empowered woman is not a brand she is an icon.

In a competition you compete were your so called competitors are competing .. and you have accepted them as your competition by allowing it and accepting them as such.. the iconic run their own race..and metaphorically speaking; it’s a jump off a very high cliff..and they build their wings the way down… this isn’t a race against any competition.. no one else has racing numbers pinned to them.. running beside them ..with a predetermined start and finish line.. you see; for the iconic the finish line is their last breath.. it’s a risk of falling from grace.. to climb all the way back up to the top with a pack full of lessons.. when they plant that flag.. the flag of ” Fuck you ” fuck you.. to the ordinary.. the daily grind.. fuck you to the I wanna be just like them so I can fit in.. fuck you to coloring in the lines..fuck you to rules..fucking stupid rules that keep you on a track already defined by others.. defined by fear..and fuck you to fear.. NO FEAR!

I am not going to stand up in a line up of bikini clad women..who have stripped all the fat off their bodies to see who can look most like the mold ( white ) by white I mean the white entitled definition of beauty were every single women in a beauty contest has to try to look as European as possible.. break that fucking mold.. why the fuck do you want to look like everyone else? Why the fuck do you want to look like the most polished version of plastic crap? Real empowered women don’t compete against other women..they don’t do fashion shoots all lined up with their asses sticking out.. looking like a dime-a-dozen.. looking like they blend one into the other..” Take your pic..or fuck them all” nothing new here.. nothing different.. nothing exciting.. take a good look then move along and forget about it…nothing to remember here.. just the same old..same old ..same as it always was.. women dumbing themselves down to fit into the box.. to fit the mold of beauty lost..the beauty of imperfections and character.. it’s just plastic perfection and the projection of insecurities of women clawing over each other fake eyelashes and nails.. bleached blond, crunchy.. overly processed hair..

But you did something.. or so you think.. you got a trophy and a plastic crown to go with your plastic perfection.. you showed those other bitches who the best and biggest bitch is.. but you are lost.. lost in a rat-race, circle of competition.. lost your true self or any real message.. lost yourself in comparing apples to oranges.. trying to be one.. when you were a peach… but peaches are not trendy right now.. so you had to make yourself into what you are not… and so you blend right in.. all the magic in you lost for nothing… and what you won was the same thing the next girl will win..and you will blend into the pictures on the wall of tinsel fame..that means nothing at all..

It’s degrading.. it’s downgrading … it’s a chipping away of the perfectly/imperfect Goddess that you are..

To take this post in another direction.. I have recently been reading post on The Globe and Mail that feminists are starting to wear granny panties vs thong panties and they are not shaving their legs or arm pits..seems to me that feminist are also being placed into a box by media… it is to say that you have to follow this look of going against what is seen as typical beauty to be a if being a feminist means being ugly .. like would you stop showering if it labeled you as a feminist by the media and the world? It is to say that you have to look like this mold or version of a feminist to be taken seriously in the world as a feminist.. well fuck that shit.. A feminist is who the fuck she wants to be.. a feminist is herself..

So write your own story.. create your own art..stop stealing from others.. be an icon.. break the mold..color outside of the lines..wear your freckles with pride.. rock your curves.. be proud of your sexuality.. your own body.. take a leap of faith.. get off the beaten path.. free yourself of mediocrity..don’t be a carbon copy. link to my book



I had an breakthrough.. a self breakthrough that I wish to share with you..because I hope it helps you in someway..

I was having a very difficult time with attempting to get through to other professional groups and networking organizations with the message of my book. I found out about the business world this year. I had helped my ex husband start up and run a successful landscaping business..that we had built together from the ground up..but of course what I did with him is entirely different than attempting to set forth a brand new culture. I knew it would be difficult. I knew some women would see my photography and writing about sexuality as a form of competing for male attention and I knew that many men see any form of a woman’s sexuality as pornography. I knew that attempting to heal society of pornography and prudishness was going to take some doing. And I knew also that our culture needed and needs to evolve towards healthy sexuality..but I was not prepared for the lack of understanding and maturity towards this message in my own city. Taking a stand towards ignorance can be a huge fight.. we have been shown this throughout history..even just in the name ( History) we can see it as his-story.. her-story being left out of our culture. *sigh* and so with the old culture still holding true I have been seen as ill-reputable, as slutty and cheap. Wishing to show women and to lead women away from sexual shaming show through my own nudity the beauty in the female form… hoping to educate women and men..about how our sexuality has been sold back to us.. leaving us as a loveless culture.. I was seen as an attention whore.. and so the competition I attempted to prove myself as an educator/spiritualist/author and artist..but I couldn’t I was shut out, shut down and made to shut up.


The truth is I am not a professional business person at all.. I had no idea what I was up against or how cut-throat competition could be. I thought ( in the spiritual sense) that networking was creating a web were people could share and communicate ideas freely..that it would be cooperation and communication. I had no idea that I had to fit in.. I thought that being different was a good thing..but I was shown I was wrong..


In the spiritual sense I had a dream of The Greatest man..and in this dream he showed me his struggles and the struggles of his people towards freedom.. he shared with me the struggle of the underdog.. the one that is told that they don’t have a chance ..they don’t stand a chance..and any chance they get they make that path for themselves..and they work hard..they get hit hard.. but they get up and they train harder..because one fight just helps you learn for the next fight.



He says ” I know were I am going and I know the truth, and I don’t have to be what you want me to be. I am free to be what I want” ~ Muhammad Ali

I remembered my days in Judo.. I remembered being told..”There is no competition..your opponent is you..they are a reflection of your strengths and weaknesses.. you will learn..if you win the fight you will learn.. if you don’t win you will learn..but there is no loosing only lessons.. you will evolve as a fighter.. you will master yourself through them..they are not your opponent they are your teacher.”

I was a yellow belt.. I was told I was going to fight a brown belt .. I was told ” Chances are very high you will not win..but you will learn.”

I when she creamed me and used me to dust the mats.. I was asked ” What did you learn?” I replied ” I learned how she used my force against me.. I saw how she flowed as if she was dancing..she moved right through me.”..and I was told ” You will do the same.. you will do the same in daily life to..if you learn to flow with the force that is set against you.”

I had forgotten..I highermind re-(mined) me.. I was not flowing I was anger and frustration and painful emotion and so it was controlling my mind and my heart.. it was hurting.

The Greatest said ” What you’re thinking is what you’re becoming.” ~ Muhammad Ali

And so I was becoming bitter, angry and frustrated with the force of ignorance pressing down on me.

But my opponent is is in my is me fighting me.. there is no fighting there is only flowing when you know there is no competition.. when you know you stand steady in your center of who you are..of who you know yourself to be..

When Muhammad Ali went into the ring..he thought ” I am the Greatest. I said that even before I knew I was”

You see he had already fought his demons in his head.. he had already fought the prejudice in his soul.. he knew there was no competition and so there wasn’t..

He walked right through them.