Posts Tagged ‘Colin Basran Mayor of Kelowna BC Canada’

The Goddess

This chapter in my book is very special to me; as she represents wisdom and intelligence.. she is the female Albert Einstein..and that is why I based this chapter on infinity..or the contemplation of reality. Albert Einstein also understood music as mathematical. As he was so is she. Sexy woman are also very intelligent and intellectual people.

~From the book ~ The Goddess an Expression of The Divine Feminine ~ Amazon.ca

click on images to enlarge them

Hecate

 

The Triple Headed Goddess; The High Priestess; she has many names. The keeper of the crossroads and the hidden places; she lifts the veil to the Inner Temple, the subconscious. She is the woman who dreams, dreams of long forgotten places and remembers things. She dreams, dreams of the future that come to pass, she sees past lies and deceit by using her inner compass.

 

She represents the lunar cycles in all phases; the new moon is the virgin; the full moon the mother and the waning moon the matron. She is daughter, mother and grandmother, as all women have been and will be in each state within their lifetimes. She is mystery and secrecy, as all women keep their secrets from men; as it isn’t any of his business how many men had come before him or how she felt about them; because she knows the fragile male ego needs not know for it’s own good. She keeps her secrets from her own mother and even sometimes from her best friends, as secrets are secrets.

 

She is feline; sleek and sexy in her mystery, she can overwhelm a man with her inner sight as just when he may think that he has fooled her, he finds her looking deep inside. She looks right through him like a cat looking into the spirit world; this does scare him because in her coldness he knows that she has seen strait through him. His only defense is to call her crazy; but as wise as she is she knows to ignore his pitiful attempt at hiding from her.

 

She is a woman that keeps her own council; she knows her intuition very well; wise and strong, this makes her very sexy, but in a dangerous way to men. But the danger of her deep wisdom causes him to want her more, because he just cannot grasp her inner mystery.

 

This is woman whom men will come to asking for advice; because they know that it will be given with unfaltering truth and deep wisdom. She is the woman; that with her intuition sees around corners, she can connect the past, present and future. This mysterious woman understands that time doesn’t run in lines it runs in circles, understanding the rhythm of life, knowing that it all conjuncts back to crossroads, she can see the next entrance. Light and darkness; youth and aging, life and death all circle into infinity.

Infinity

 

 

Oh to contemplate infinity.. Where to start.. First with the symbol of infinity the # 8 turned on its side.. This is the number of abundance and endless possibilities, as this is what infinity is.. It is nothing=everything and everything=nothing.. If you look at the symbol were the lines meet in the middle; if you were to crop this, it would look like and X marking the spot where the treasure of the infinite is propelled out from the center.. The center is the symbol of the # zero which really isn’t a number at all as it holds no value.. As it equals nothing.. but the zero is infinite as it holds place value ( following me here.. )

The place value is, it holds the other numbers up to equal, lesser or greater value.. This is the nature of infinity..(Sorry I love this) this is the number of infinity on the digital clock 10:01.. The 10 the completion the 01 the beginning of the journey.

To look at the symbol of infinity is to see that reality, space, time and mass all conjunction to meet at nothing.. Making everything come together to become NOTHING…ahh infinity..So does this mean that there is no mass, space, time or even reality.. Or does this mean that when they join they create timelessness.. Does this mean that nothing is really as it seems that we are deluding ourselves into perceiving reality?..(I love this…mind bending isn’t it?)

Zero is the womb waiting conception…10 is the conception brought to fruition and one is the conception..(Interesting isn’t it?).. Infinity is based on numbers.. Negative and positive.. When they pass through the conjunction of infinity.. The cross roads on the path to nowhere and everywhere they become Zero.. They become the possibility of negative or positive numbers or experience.. Or time, or space or mass…

Is the journey ever really complete? Has it ever even been started? Does time hold a place in the everything or is it nothing at all.. If everything is nothing and nothing is everything then the possibilities are endless.. Limitless.. Fathomless…

I hope I gave you something to think about.

Sacred Whore

 

The Sacred Whore was the High Priestess of the temple. She was not the whore of today; the reason that she is known as a whore is that she accepted payment for her services.

 

When we envision a whore; we see a rundown woman with no self worth or respect, stung up on drugs, using the payment from her customers to buy more drugs so that she can numb herself into living through her terrible life. This was not the whore of ancient times.

 

The High Priestess was from noble blood or family; giving her virginity to paying noble men was seen as a sacred sacrifice to the divine. She was encouraged to enter into the Priestess hood upon puberty. Men would pay her as a sex therapist and councilor; this was a sacred bond of secrets between her and her client; who were mostly high ranking men, she was the soft place to fall into; they could divulge all of their inner most secrets; wishes and fears to her and then make love to her and with her. This was the place where he could fall to pieces but still keep his self-respect.

 

When the High Priestess was ready to re-enter normal life; she would more than likely marry one of the noble men that she had been a consort to; she was revered and respected for her contribution to society and to the divine union of the masculine and the feminine.

 

Today she exists in every woman as the understanding wife, girlfriend and lover. Her payment is still the same (respect and trust) to trust and respect her; she too will do the same for her man; if she is a dignified woman, a woman of class and grace, she will take his inner most secrets to the grave with her. She will not use his secrets against him; it will be and stay bedroom talk until he mentions it to her again as she will understand and respect his vulnerability.

 

In the tarot deck she is seen as the Strength card; The Whore of Babylon, she tames his inner beast with beauty, sweetness and grace; as well with a good amount of lusty lovemaking.

RHYTHM

 

 

I love to dance and sing

Music is everything

I hear and feel such passion move through me

I can’t help but move my feet

My heart burst out across my lips

As the melody takes over me.

 

The drum beat sends me

The piano owns me

The strings touch my heart

The strings of the guitar and the harp

The violin so sad and sweet

Soulful and so spiritual

Music swirling sends me twirling

 

Like a child again

I am wild again

I am freed by this passion

Fiery euphoria sweep me up

I fly to the stars

I grove hard

 

Music, music be my muse

I swing as I move

Fluid as the waves of bliss that send me

Send me, ohhh send me

Send me to sweet poetry

Oh the dance of life it courses through the score

 

Fiero, sotto voce, furioso

Boldly, softly, wildly

Take me to the angels

Take my body and my soul

I sing and dance

I make music for the sake of it.

 

Ohhhoohhhooh Bliss!

MAGIC

 

 

Suddenly I can see past reality

I can see eternity

I understand infinity

I am everything and everything moves through me.

 

In a place deep inside of my soul

I can learn to let go

I know that my gifts are my tools

My natural born abilities create more for and of me.

 

When I learn to soar on the winds of change

When I let myself float down stream

When I cease to fight

When I chose to do what feels right I win.

 

There is magic inside of each one of us

A magic that is powered by faith and trust

By following our hearts and souls

We find our way to this enchanted space and place.

 

Destiny is given room

Destiny and fate are found in a quieted state

It is in the place of surrender

Surrender where we create and find our miracles.

 

The miracle is the magic

The magic of turning sorrow into treasure

The magic of wisdom matured

We chose tenderness over bitterness.

 

Creation is at your finger tips

We can cause miracles by following our hearts

It is through living our dreams

That God lives through each and every one of us.

 

Magic is the infinity of the possibilities

That nothing lived through the heart is impossible to conceive

When we manifest our dreams

We become one with God and live in our own divinity.

 

So quiet your mind and still your soul

You have the power at your calling

To call upon all of creation

You can become whatever you chose as infinity is within you.

 

The Goddess

 

Hidden Goddess

( from the book ~ The Goddess an Expression of The Divine Feminine ~ ) Available on Amazon.ca

Before the formation of the Christian church brought about through the Roman Emperor Constantine the 1st through the First Council of Nicaea in 325 AD; The Goddess was held in high esteem.

 

The temples of Egypt, Greece and Roman were filled with Priestesses and High Priestesses. The Priestesses existed to glorify the soft, beautiful sexuality of women. It was believed that a man came closer to the Divine through intercourse and intimacy of the Priestess; since the Goddess existed through all women, the intimacy that men and women shared glorified creation. It was thought that through her body his animal instincts could be tamed through the release of his sexual tension. This release of all sexual tension brought both the man and the woman closer to the wisdom of the Divine.

Men would enter a temple to be sexually intimate with a Priestess. It was common for a Priestess to have sex with many men, as it was her sacrifice that caused the betterment of all society.

The new emerging Christian Religion was causing problems for the rulers of that time. The religions were overlapping, causing a lack of organized rule. Jesus the man or the believed son of God had been gone for hundreds of years. Many books had been written about the history leading up to his birth and the New Testament was written long after his passing. Jesus the man showed through his actions and words that he saw women as equals; it is proposed that Mary Magdalene was a whore, that Jesus drank wine and that his followers were dirty low life fishermen. Yet the simplicity of the Man and his teachings were eaten up by doctrine, and the roles and the equality of women were marginalized; eventually the equality of women in the Christian faith was stripped away from women due to the rules of religion (doctrine).

Quite simply the Roman Christian faith used sexuality as a road to piety and away into purgatory; the way out of purgatory was through payment; whether the payment be through trade or money. This “damned if you do and damned if you don’t” scenario goes on to this day through all major world religions. State and Country rule through this moral code; a good man who is worthy of Office has a good puritan woman that behaves by his side. He parades his family and wife around with him while he sees to his daily work functions as a politician or as a world leader. The world has been caught up in this unhealthy state of our sexuality for thousands of years.

We are damned sinners for liking sex and then we are over sexualized by the media; as we are sex starved and sex as a taboo sells product.

 

The Goddess has been cast down from her holy and sacred throne by the need for power and control of the masses; simply put the powers that be, have the men by their balls and the women by their ovaries; it is that simple.

By the wisdom of seeing sex and the body as a sacred temple society will be set free of this emotional, mental, physical and spiritual bondage. Sex is not a sin; sex is sacred, the body is sacred, the copulation of men and women is wholesome, pure and natural.

God, The Universe, The Divine; however you wish to see or understand all that is; made men and women to make love, not just for the sake of marriage and babies. We were made to create love and lust to lead us to ecstasy and bliss. This sacred place is found in the sharing of each other.

 

Women have had the burden of hiding their sexuality through the ages; of behaving as society dictates in order not to be shunned by friends and family, church and country.

 

It is up to us to take back the sacred Goddess in each of us; the Goddess that has been hidden through dogma and doctrine; to control the masses through mass fear of damnation. It is true that most women feel damned no matter what direction that they take in life. To be a stay at home mom means not working, to some; even to their husbands, this can be seen as lazy. Mothers that do work out of the home are seen as being neglectful to their children and competing financially with their husbands. Women who chose not to have children to pursue their work and passions are seen as selfish. The Goddess is damned in each woman, if she is a virgin, she is to be respected but then she can be seen as frigid or even freakish. If a woman has sex with more than say 10 men in her life time she can be judged as a slut. If a woman enjoys sex and knows her body; she is sinful and dirty.

It is up to women to reclaim their inner Goddess; to live their lives as they see fit; to own their sex and their bodies. Men want to see us do it; men have missed her, the one that tames him and makes him more of a man by loving him with her body. It is time the Goddess rises to her rightful throne; beside her God, beside her man.

 

We have damned ourselves in hiding her way in dogma; we have raped the earth and depleted our resources out of control and rule. It is time that all becomes sacred again through her rising, it is time to come out of the Dark Ages, it is time for the Golden Age to begin through her wisdom.

The Goddess has been made dirty by society and religion; through this book, through this work, through the photography I mean to clean off the cobwebs and the dirt. To show The Goddess again renewed, reborn, and shining in her true priceless worth.

The Queen of the Universe shall take her rightful place beside her King. It is through their sacred love and the sacred union of their flesh that we come to the New Golden Age.  It is the Age of The Compassionate Heart.

E=MC2 The Relativity of Reality

 

I was dreaming about Albert Einstein again.. we were at his wooden desk..and the black board was wiped clean behind him.. his desk was empty.. he sat on the other side ..smiling a big warm smile..and he said to me..” I think to much” and he laughed.. I laughed..then he said with a chuckle ” I proved reality isn’t real..but you can’t tell people that because they will think you are crazy.” we both laughed some more.. I knew he was going to teach me something..he knew I knew..so he got right to it..

He stood up and turned off the lights..it was pitch black and totally silent.. he asked me ” what do you see?” I said ” Nothing but darkness” he said ” Do you think everything is still here in the room?” I said ” Yes” he said “Why do you think everything is still in the room if you can’t see it.” I said “Because I saw it before you turned off the lights.” He said..” Ahhhh.. you believe it still exists then?” He turned the light off and on several times.. then he said to me ” Reality is just a belief..and your body is just a simple measuring tool to gauge reality with.”.. He said ” If the human body is a tool of measurement ..it’s measurements are only as good as it’s sensitivity or senses..and so if it’s senses are incomplete it can only measure reality by it’s lens of perception. That means that a human’s perceptions of reality are incomplete..but then what is reality anyway?”

He went on to explain the creation of reality ..he said ” Reality is a mass illusion of the consciousness that creates it..and because there are many levels of consciousness created by different levels of life forms at different levels of awareness.. reality is subjective to the observer and the mass pools of perception projecting their beliefs onto unavailable energy sources..these sources of energy are without form or mass…but given form by the intention of beliefs; this is quantum theory or quantum physics.”

‘What do you think is the source of intention?” he asked me with a knowing grin.. I said ” I am sure you know.” we both laughed as he shared more of his genius ” Intention is emotion..and so love or loving intentions create higher forms of consciousness..and so higher life forms create a more pure or civilized reality.. fear is the emotion of self destruction…and so lower lifeforms ..those of lowered intelligence create a destructive and violent reality.. humanity is rising in consciousness… but not all humanity will rise. Wormholes are the interconnected passageways of different levels of consciousness or realities..dimensions .. doorways between higher and lower levels of awareness..as the cosmos is aware of it’s self.. so some will incarnate back to lower lifeforms..some will still have human levels or stories to learn and incarnate as energy in the mass or form of humans..some will incarnate into higher beings..”

“Theory is they key ingredient in science towards helping humanity grasp higher levels of understanding past the gauge of our own minute human perceptions.. Without the imagination we would be cast into darkness.. it is through belief that we can create a higher way of being. The problem with intentions is not lying to the self about intention..as you can tell other’s your intentions are based on love to fool others; but you cannot fool the energy.. The energy knows.. and will give back what is created within the heart..”

And as he turned to wipe the board clean for his next student.. I was waking in my real life..but I heard him say as my eyes were not yet open..” Was this dream more of a reality than the one you are about to enter?” He was laughing as my eyes flew open.

The Goddess

 

The Photo Shoots

(From the book ~The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ~ ) Available on Amazon.ca

 

First off I am not a model; but that is the point. Through the sensual photography I am trying to show a softer side of sexuality; really if I had my way, I would do away with pornography for obvious reasons. I don’t see anything wrong with erotica because it usually benefits both the sexe’s sexual appetites; but porn shows women being degraded. To me erotica shows sex and romance; love and lust, something both sexes aspire to in the pursuit of love and lovemaking.

Anyway I am not what would be considered model material at all; I am 5ft tall, 120 pounds and I am 42. My body has conceived 7 times but I have given birth to three children; but this is the reality of being a woman; our age; weight, height don’t make us any less sexy; that is media hype to sell us youth and wieghtloss products that don’t work. Only healthy diet and exercise work. I am very healthy and fit; not skinny or fat, I have curves and real breast, and even my nails are real. The point in using me as the model is to bring back real beauty and health for women and no one else would do it!

 

I met Claire and Joan of Miss Sassy Pants Boudoir Photography in the summer of 2011; my ex had left me for another woman; I believe in my heart that the affair started while I was pregnant with our son. I needed a self-esteem boost; I had lost 40 pounds of baby weight, I was single again and I wanted to do something out of the ordinary. The photographs turned out beautifully. I used them on my blog to post (The Divine Feminine 1 through 6). I use them on my facebook as well.

 

I had the greatest Idea ever! I decided to write a book about the Goddess and as a very visual and artistic person, I knew in my heart that having Claire and Joan do the photography would make the book like sensual eye candy. It was hard to use myself; I know that there are some people that know me (especially family) who will think that I am conceited, crazy and glorifying myself through the book.  Yes I had to use myself; I couldn’t afford to pay someone else and I couldn’t find no one who had the courage to do it. The message of the book is so important to me; that I decided to take the leap of faith and risk it all myself and I am risking it all. Everyone will know me as the woman who posed in this book, not just the author of the book but the model; everyone who looks at and reads this book will know my body in a lot of detail. This does take away from my privacy; I chose not to have any shots with frontal nudity below the waist as that is very private to me, I am saving that part of me for me and for the man I will love and who will love me.

 

As a mother; it made it harder to come to the decision to do it; but as a mother I had to do it. I want to show my young daughters and my son how wonderful women really are, how real and beautiful, how sensual and strong real women are. I want to bring back romance and love; true equal partnerships between men and women for all of us and our future generations. It will be very interesting for me when the book is published and my nudity is made public. I can only hope that most people will have the maturity to see the beauty and the art for what it is; I can only hope that I will not be judged as a bad mother and a tramp. I can only hope to spread hope; and a new kind of liberation for men and women. I can only hope to build upon the equality of the sexes through this work.

 

The funny thing is that Hugh Hefner and I have the same birthday; April 9th. Both of us working with sex; but I am different as I do not want or wish to use sexuality to build an empire on; I wish to set us free from the bondage of the extremes. I wish to show true sexual freedom; that is not to hurt the other sex or the self in sexual expression; I want to help build upon the sensual, erotic art form of making love, not just having sex.

 

The first photo shoot was outside at Bertram Park in Kelowna B.C; I wanted to get Okanagan Lake in the photos, I love where I live and being Canadian. I do want to travel and see where all the Goddesses originated from though.

 

It is a public park; it was secluded enough in March, that we could take the nude photos; but of course really cold, it was below 10 degrees when we took the shots. In the shots of me as Athena; you can see Kelowna’s floating bridge in the background; I just love it!

We worked fast; it was very cold, for 2 hours I was near naked most of the time, but we were so into our creative adventure I hardly noticed the cold, I just wanted the shots! The rocks on the beach were the worst though; they were so COLD and Sharp. Claire and Joan were amazed at my tenacity; when I set my mind to my work, it will happen.

 

Standing on the cliff as Athena was hard; I kept getting dizzy because I was looking up at the sky, it was giving me intense vertigo, and cars along the road could see me, they were slowing down to look, I kept having to cover my naked breast with my shield. It was kind of funny.

 

Lying on the ground as Mother Nature felt great; that spot on the ground was really quite warm and I love the smell of the earth warming up; that was my most relaxed shot; they were quite quick.

 

Artemis was my favorite; I loved the bow and arrow; I loved the costume and I loved who she was. With every Goddess I had to get into character; Claire helped me with Artemis she asked me to hunt and to stalk my prey, it really helped. I just love what she stands for; later after the shoot I had a dream of her, not of me as her but actually of her. In my dream she had light red hair and grey/green huge eyes. She had an infant strapped to one side of her back and her arrows on the other side; she was rapid firing her arrows at her pray. It meant that she would be successful as she left no room for failure. She made sure all of her arrows flew straight and true. This is the Goddess of the brave; the mother bear protecting her young. I just loved stepping into her character; I can only hope to emulate her through my life.

 

When we walked out of the park; we passed the park keeper, he was cutting and chipping trees that had fallen in a storm. He was close to my age; it’s funny he must of seen something cause he just kept looking at us like he couldn’t believe it! So funny!

 

The next photo shoots were Isis and the High Priestess; we did the Priestess first. These shoots were harder for me as the costumes and makeup were more elaborate; wearing wigs drives me nuts! But to make the Goddesses look different and authentic it had to be done. I don’t mind dressing up once in a while; but the more natural Goddesses were more my style.  It’s comical that when I was doing the dancing shots my wig flew clean off my head! Claire reached her limit when the Runes fell between my butt cheeks; she drew the line at fishing them out!  But The Priestess is one sexy Goddess; she was very cat like, very sleek and sexy.

 

I read the Runes later on after looking at the shot; this is what they meant:  the first is the Rune of PROTECTION – I give myself protection through the awareness of my emotions; by having self control over my emotions and living in the moment. This is how to handle change and transition.

PAIN – some pain is necessary as the darkness teaches us about the light and the power of the self. We are initiated through pain to spiritual awareness. Keep faith and good temper to move through the pain of darkness into the light.

BREAK AWAY – break away from constricting beliefs. Experience the world of the archetypal mind.

PARTNERSHIP – Partnership with the Divine and personal relationships; gift of freedom from which flow other gifts.

I took this interpatation from “The Book of Runes” from Ralph H. Blum.

It has come true so far; the pain has manifested as people in my neighborhood that judge me for my blog and my work; the breakaway has shown up as me moving away, so that I have privacy from the judgment of people like this, once the book comes out it will get even worse because of my nudity. If they judge me now, well, I am sure it will get much worse.

 

I have yet to experience the last Rune of Partnership; I hope it is with the Divine and a relationship with someone special, kind and loving. That is long overdue!

 

While I was trying to stay in the character of Isis; Claire was joking around about my tits; it was so funny because Claire has and English accent, it was the way she said it I kept bursting out in laughter. You can see me smiling a tiny bit in the shot of me with the wings up in the air. That was because of Claire! Another thing that was really neat was that Joan and Claire decided on their own to put the blue misty effect in the Isis photos; they down loaded them to me at home that way; the interesting thing is that Claire and Joan had no idea that in mythology Isis is a star in the heavens. Claire and Joan added the effect by just following their creative instincts. I think that deep down in each woman’s soul, she understands the magic of the Goddess.

Trying not to laugh when Claire was telling me ” Your tits look great ” in her English accent

 

Isis was so regal; I did love stepping into the character of Isis; she is a Queen, she so royal. I can’t quite describe her. Isis is more of a Queen and more royalty then any earthly Queen could be. Isis is the star. I can’t believe how I would dream of every Goddess; they came to me in dreams in their true glory, mystery and magic. My dreams cannot be described in words; but I truly felt led in a spiritual sense. I felt the deep purity of the Divine Feminine; it truly has been a gift.

The white Goddess was the hardest; I really felt like a real bride does on her wedding day; I wanted everything to be just perfect. Not only did the flowers come on time but the Owner of Kelowna Rose and Garden, came early! The flowers were beautiful and to thank Joan and Claire I sent them home with a dozen roses each as we had three dozen and the little wedding bouquet. I didn’t feel pretty that day; I just didn’t so I had to get my head around it and get into the character of The White Goddess. The shots of the side of my body with the jewels were very hard for Joan and I; she had to get up on a step ladder and take the shot without looking into the camera; so we had to take many shots with me on my knees. It was tough and it hurt! The candle shot was hard too; we couldn’t get the light right. I forgot the matches and Claire searched the building for someone who would have a lighter, thank goodness she found one. The candle shot was the most important to me as it shows The Compassionate Heart. In mythology and in many ancient writings the bride is ready for the groom when she lights her lamp or candle. It shows purity of the heart. It was a painful shot as the hot wax dripped on my fingers over and over again until we got it right; but the bleeding heart, is a feeling heart, so that symbolism was worth the pain.

 

So by this time, it was really starting to feel like work; as a mother of three it took a lot of juggling and planning to get the costuming and the babysitting just right. I couldn’t of done the costuming without Calowna Costumes in Kelowna B.C.; this store I made up 90% of the costumes. They were great; I had to bring my kids with me to pick out and shop for the costumes; they were wonderful when it came to putting up with my 5 year old son running around the store like 5 year old boys do. They gave the kids free goody bags full of cool stuff one day.

 

The photo shoots have brought me memories that I will treasure for a lifetime; it was an adventure!

The Goddess

 

 

Introduction

( From the book ~ The Goddess and Expression of the Divine Feminine ~ ) available on Amazon.ca

The Artist

 

You can usually pick us out in a crowd; most of us have a style of our own, we have a vacant look sometimes as we are contemplating upon our next creation.

 

The musician moves to his/her own beat. They wake up in the morning with a melody in their head as they dream up new lyrics. To an artist; the place of dreams, the deep subconscious, is a place that holds the treasure of our creations. Many of us use our dreams as spring-boards for our creations. The musician, singer or lyricist can’t help but to feel and hear music in everything. The beat and the tempo are in the way they walk, talk and communicate. They just can’t help themselves; the vibrations of the universe move through them like their very pulse.

 

The actor/actress seems detached in many ways; as they are watching you and other people to create their next character, they study voice, body language and emotions. Most who are into acting study human nature as second thought. Actors stand out; they love drama; they love laughter and sorrow. They may seem odd to most people but we can’t help but be drawn to the flame of passion that burst forth from their dramatic flair.

 

The photographer, painter and sculptor, see through the matrix of creation; we see the core, we see the essence and we wish to capture it in color, light and form. We are also somewhat detached as we need to see; to really see, to understand creation past the self. We love passion; all artist love passion.

 

The dancer is sensual; the body an instrument for their passion; they love the music, the burn of muscle as they push their bodies past what would be considered normal; for the sake of it. To become the music, to fly with the music..for the passion!

 

We create drama; and live our dreams for the passion. It takes great courage to be an artist of any type; as society and family members will say that an artist in the family is hopeless dreamer. They may say you are wasting your time on something that will not make you money.

 

Many artists are called crazy and deluded by others that have chosen normal jobs that give them a guaranteed pay check. Artists have to be fighters; they have to live for their passion. Most of us have to work at other jobs to support our craft. Society needs artist to create beauty and drama; without us to entertain and enlighten the world it would become a very dull and ugly place.

 

Yes we are different; dramatic, passionate, and odd. We express ourselves through everything we do as it is in our nature to do so; but without us life would lose meaning, culture would disappear and society would become gray and flat.

 

Artist need support; through family, friends and society. Without us you wouldn’t have movies; theaters, galleries, photographs of history or beauty, we keep record of the civilized world. Artist bring about civilization through creation for the sake of passion.

 

Instead of thinking “ Who the hell does he/she think she is up there on that stage, or wanting me to read their writing or look at their art ?” try to see that someone has to dare to have the courage to stand out, to bring beauty into the world and be different. They were born to stand out.

Butterfly

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5NsUXqGy2U

As I watched this video of Kelowna Society become totally undone.. I found myself freed of all the mental confusion due to their prejudices put on me because of my blog and website.. I found their exclusion to be a blessing in disguise. They don’t like my topless pictures; they don’t like my frank talk about women’s issues and sexuality.. or the frankness about how religion has repressed women.. and the flaky spiritual circles in Kelowna don’t want to include womb worship or Goddess Sexuality in their teachings.. but the point is this..after watching this video ..seeing them ignorantly attempt to get Oprah’s attention to bring her into The Okanagan Valley.. I came to the conclusion that they are all suffering from some form of mass hysteria caused by ” Look at me syndrome ” You really should watch this video.. it’s in shocking poor taste.. They wear wigs to mimic Oprah’s hair style..it gets worse at the end.. really bad. In one part the owner of a well known resort calls her ” African Queen” a total racial slur.. he says he will treat her like the African Queen she is ..while wearing a wig that mimics her hair style..but it gets even better.. she is propositioned by a gigolo wearing a wig .. offering himself up to her shirtless in a bed..  I was dumb struck watching the video the first time..but then after that I began to laugh.. I laughed at how ridiculous and absurd all these so called professionals were.. including the then mayor of Kelowna.. I laughed because I knew by being told by Lori herself..that her comedy partner had bailed on her due to the poor taste of Lori’s comedy..because Lori loves to make other look bad to make her look good..and I saw that happen in this video..I laughed because I watched another video of Lori doing a video of the voice message that Lisa left her…telling Lori what a piece of shit she is..and telling Lori to go fuck herself..I laughed because there was total truth to that.. and I wished I had done it .. I laughed because Lori doesn’t know how true it is..I laughed and I laughed at how Lori got all the big wigs in Kelowna Society to look like total morons ( wearing wigs )..and they did it for a moment of fame.. it’s just so circus/circus .. oh yes..their monkey’s their circus.. for the ” Look at me syndrome ” that caused their mass hysteria ..and then I laughed some more when my 13 year old daughter said.. ” Mommy could you image how funny it would be if they did a video of Oprah’s reaction of her watching this video? Now that would go viral!” And then I laughed some more outside in the playground as I showed some other common sense parents the video.. OMG they had the same reaction that I did ” WTF did we just watch.. lets watch that part again with the gigolo and were he calls her African Queen.. OMG were they seriously thinking this was funny and Oprah Winfrey would want to come here and hang with those jerks?”

But then I explained to them how much better it made me feel.. not having the same opportunities to network in the groups they all network in..how I didn’t just dodge a bullet.. I dodged an entire Valley of dumbass.. And we laughed..and laughed ..and I felt myself become light.. and I lighten-up for the first time in along, long time..and the it dawned on me how blessed and lucky I am not to have been put into the same space as these people.. and I saw for the first time that they must be jealous of me..that I really stand for something other than just my own ego..and society bullshit.. And then I was reminded that my book and it’s message are so much bigger than the crap in this valley..

But my daughter made a good point..she said ” Mom .. Kelowna is so pretty…and there are so many good people here..but that video makes us all look like morons.” ( outta the mouth’s of babes )

Lori’s last video addressed to Ellen Degeneres wasn’t much better…it was along the same lines of poor taste and classlessness ..as she goes topless in front of the mayor at City Hall..in a professional setting .. saying she is for the issue of Free The Nipple.. that is about women going topless were men can go topless ( Lori doesn’t actually go topless.).. Lori mocks the issue https://youtu.be/33Pd6sikcCQ.. the difference with this video is that Lori obviously bought views and dragged in all her media contacts to duplicate and splice the video .. she was media wise this time.. lots of her elder followers don’t realize how this works on YouTube .. most of her views are fraudulent… and it amazes me how she can drag so called professional and local politicians into her media frenzy for fame? It has to be some sorta madness.. it’s just so crazy.

But I have learned.. if it doesn’t kill you by-god it teaches you..and I learned about society.. I learned about how many in Kelowna will tell you to ” go break a leg” and actually mean it..” If breaking your leg gets me famous.. I will break your fricken leg bitch.” but it’s so funny..because for what? It put everything right back into perspective for me.. it made me see what a small fishbowl the valley really is..and it made me aware of how small and ignorant some people’s thinking is in this valley.. and also it made me feel ” What a pity it’s such a beautiful piece of land..and there are many great non-society types that live in the valley” ..and ” Let’s hope Colin ..the current mayor of Kelowna doesn’t fall for this bullshit.. he seems to be a classy guy..so stay classy Colin”

But the point of this story..is that I let go of what was weighing me down.. I really don’t give a shit about their groups..they are all bullshit..and I never needed them anyway.. I am blessed to have had them leave me out..and deny me access..their prejudices worked in my favor.. I cannot imagine hanging out with people that slimy LOL.. gawd it’s funny now!

So I am free

Innocence Lost

“He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.” Friedrich Nietzsche

 

The Devil Tarot is both good and evil.. the good of The Devil is positive social notoriety ( do something to create positive change for society, the earth or humanity as a whole ) also The Devil in the positive stands for a great and passionate, sexual relationship and/or personal charisma … but this post is about The Devil in the negative… it stands for social notoriety at the cost of personal integrity. It stands for the temptation of loosing yourself in greed.. the greed of money and or social acclaim .. and sexually addictive behaviors and secrets.. or having a double life.. being a two faced lying bastard.. the evil magician who uses the illusion of charm to seduce people into following him/her for the pure ego feed,money, lust and/or all forms of greed..many use the disguise or slight of hand to make it appear that they are trying to use fame to create a positive change for humanity..but truthfully their charities are tools of manipulation .. to create fame for the pure sake of ego feed or to make money.. the filthy rich love ” Their Charities ” as they are great forms of manipulation.

When I first put up my website and all online accounts..and tried to promote my book on foot through my local community I met The Devil in many people. They mistook the innocence and naturalness of the nudity in my book.. in the photography; as my own form of Devil’s Play..they mistook my honest and frank writing ..or maturity about women’s sexuality as seduction.. they saw me as the evil magician using sex to seduce..and so it brought out their own inner devils.. soon I found myself gazing into a pit of seething snakes..all clamoring one up against each other for social attention.. and I was seen as another competitor in the race for fame and fortune.

To many men in my local community I became the next hottest little thing.. many tried to seduce me to become another one of their mistresses or girlfriends.. many of them very overweight men.. or in some way not attractive..but they had social connections, money or both..and when I didn’t play a long.. I was labeled as a crazy bitch. I had one actually grab me from behind when I was alone in his home during a business meeting..he grabbed me and tore my dress to one side cupping my bare breast in his hand from behind..then he bit down on my neck and demanded to be pleased.. I most carefully and graciously peeled him from me before running out the front door.. ~ innocence lost ~

This sort of seductive behavior happened often in the first 2 years of trying to network within Kelowna society.. I was invited to dinner parties to arrive and find myself the only guest.. then I would make a quick exit .. using some lame excuse .. like my babysitting fell through.. but it wasn’t just men.. it was swinging couples.. I had to be so careful.. I was invited to those parties too ..to find myself the only guest..once again to leave as fast as I could….

But then I found myself also the brunt of mean girl jokes..I had women’s organizations that I attempted to network with haunt my blog to leave mean girl comments.. seeing me as the men saw me.. as mistress material.. as the woman putting it out their to climb the social ladder on rich men’s dicks..and so they hated me for it.. for their own insecurities and ignorance..and so I saw what I didn’t want to become.. them.

I have written on this blog about them and their prejudices.. and so they wish to see me torn down..as I showed them the monsters that they are.. while they tried to make me a monster like them..because they thought I must be..putting my sexuality out there like art..thinking I am all that..doing all that they dared not to do..so of course I deserved and deserve their darkness..their contempt and deep dark shadows.. yet they don’t see they have simply projected their devils onto me…

What I have found is that they don’t network..they use each other..as devils do.. they would just as easily drop each other or climb up on the other’s downing ..if it meant climbing higher socially.. they haven’t real friendships.. they lie to each other..butter each other up..and they say they are authentic.. yet their masks are so thick..

When I wrote about my journey into the abyss of Kelowna Society..when I wrote about their shadows..and their slight of hand.. I showed them their devils.. and that’s why they resent me so..Because it takes courage and character not to fall into temptation..as they crawl and clamor in it..drowning in the pitiful messes of themselves they have created..not knowing who it is that stares back at them in the mirror..forgetting who they are in the falseness of their own images they have created..calling it BRANDING and REPUTATION.. but really it’s all just illusion.

But I have this to take with me..and I bid them adieu.. as I bow out from a competition I did’t know I had signed up for..

I have my integrity.. I have my authenticity.. I have my truth..and with that you didn’t steal my light to own it for yourselves.. as you have been too afraid to earn it..as monsters and devils are always afraid.. and that is why they try to steal the light.. because they cannot bring themselves to taking off the masks that casts their shadows…

The question to ask is this.. without me .. now who will you blame and shame.. now that you cannot project your bullshit onto me..it ‘s your faces unmasked in the mirror that you will see.

Will the real Goddess please stand up!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I1IajilFBk ( copy and paste to watch ” When God was a Girl ”

When you first watch this documentary this is what she says about a ancient Goddess figure ” She radiates a fierce and dangerous sexuality ” In this documentary the real ancient Goddess is excavated from the dust .. from the ages; to show us the nurturing motherly parts of the Goddess..and her intense unapologetic sexuality.. she was believed to be one that you didn’t fuck with..she was the nurturer and the destroyer. She is Gaia.. she who was birthed from the chaos of the Universe or stars.. The Earth herself.. she gives life and she takes it away.

In the most ancient of temples in Turkey.. there is a engraved stone that they show of The Goddess in the documentary..she is laying with her legs spread ..she is being penetrated.. and it seems she is squirting at the same time.. the lion or the beasts are seen to be one with The Goddess all over the temple..I believe they are a metaphor for her fierce sexuality and her over all fearlessness.. she wasn’t to be messed with..she was to be respected..and her sexuality gave birth to the crops and all life..she brought fertility ..and death if you pissed her off.

In the documentary ” When God was a Girl” They guess that the Goddess is being penetrated and giving birth at the same time..my guess is that she was squirting..and that they worshiped her female ejaculation as a magical potion for fertility rights. I am guessing that this temple was a sacred place for sex magic

In Rome and India The Goddesses were seen as both loving and protective mother…but also as a Warrior Goddess.. she was sexual and potent. She was the initiated priestess.. not like the watered down version we see in the New Age Movements today..in spiritual circles.. Were The Goddess has been cleaned up and purified by angelic standards to fit a flaky, half-wit, popular, trendy.. pop culture.. by doing this to The Goddess she has lost her rawness.. her magic and force.. truly women who promote this type of Goddess are not contributing to a real Goddess Circle..but more of a Fairy Princess Circle.. such are the movements in my home town of Kelowna BC.

The New Age Goddesses think that all they need to do is yoga, dress up like Goddesses and beat on a few drums..and be ultra feminine..or totally submissive to men to be Goddesses or to call themselves Goddesses and change their names to Goddessy names LOL .. yet they promote the Madonna/Whore Complex that was brought forth to fracture The Goddess or Feminine Power by male rule or the patriarchy..and so they are actually patriarchy bitches..not Goddesses.. The Goddess isn’t a doormat.. she doesn’t let men define her.. men fear her and respect her..for they know she can take her love with her when she packs up to leave his lying ass..should he disrespect her.. her submission depends on his submission..if he respects her nurturing by offering protection and respect.. he will get that back ten fold.. but if he doesn’t he will get that back 10 fold..that is how a woman is a Goddess.

The New Age Goddesses think that all they have to do is look pretty, act pretty.. and say pretty things to be Goddesses.. yet they don’t uphold their sisters.. there isn’t a true sisterhood as they compete for male attention.. A Goddess is more than her outward beauty.. she is strong from the inside out.. she has integrity, grit, honesty and character..as a true mother she will stay with you when others abandon you.. the flaky fairy girls don’t do that.. they go with what is easy..and that is why their perception of The Goddess is so Airy Fairy.. because that is what they are. A Goddess comes in all shapes and sizes..all races..she is Maiden/Mother/Crone.. this isn’t a fucking beauty contest .. this is real, raw, authentic women ..empowering themselves from the inside out.

A woman living in the true ancient aspects of The Goddess owns her sexuality.. she can take care of herself..so she doesn’t settle for any half-assed-bullshit from any man..an so it is a God that will be her counterpart as she seeks her equal..she is a Queen in her own right..and so she seeks a King.. not a knight in tinfoil.

Another aspect to take away from this documentary.. is that prehistory was HERSTORY.. it was then that the Goddess Gaia ruled .. it was the Goddess that came first..she is not from any man’s rib..but he from her womb..as Isis is the Throne that Osiris sits upon.. not that she is under him..but that his life depends on her throne or womb..and it was Isis that brought Osiris back to life..as she gives life and takes it away.. she rose him from the dead..so she is all powerful.. But as Zeus took over Gaia’s power by force.. this was the end of the last Golden Age.. it was an age of peace ..as The Goddess teaches us to live in harmony with nature..as soon as mankind started to stake a claim to land or to The Mother.. they needed to use violence against each other to keep the land that they horded from each other..and so the male Gods of War were born..and repressed The Great Mother.. it was the fall of the last Golden Age into the Iron Age..the age of darkness and war.. and so by not worshiping The Goddess who protected us from nature by teaching us to nurture from nature.. we have made nature our enemy.. by not living as one with nature we will eventually force or own extinction ..as she gives life and takes it away.. we can only fuck with her for so long before she aborts our asses.. and so it is that we are given another chance at redemption as we are now in a New Spring..as the last full blue moon rang in The Bronze Age..and so if we can see the error of our ways and rise The Goddess from the ashes of our ancient prehistory.. herstory of peace will be a living monument to her again..

How do I know this ( I am a GODDESS) that’s how.. not an Airy Fairy, New Age Goddess.. I am a living REAL GODDESS.. may many more of my kind rise..

Rise Sisters RISE!

Break Through

He kept asking me ” If you could have one break through in your life right now what would it be?”

I realize now he is the one who needs to break through his own fears.. funny how projection works.. funny how he was afraid to show me his soul while I was having the courage to offer him my heart and soul wide open..

I don’t need seminars to tell me how to be brave.. I just jump in feet first.. just like I am the first one in the lake..the first one to swim in freezing cold spring waters while other’s my age watch amazed..

They need the to ” Break on through to the other side ”

They have organizations that profess to be for diversity .. but they exclude me due to their prejudice and fears.. they claim to be compassionate and philanthropist.. while in private messages and behind closed doors they are cruel.

They use the press to promote their fake spiritual trends and organizations.. the press it’s self being plastic as hell.. just like them.

They say they support the Goddess Movement holding full moon circles while being to fearful .. terrified of women’s sexuality.. their spirituality watered down..nothing real here.. nothing but pasteurized and purified ..bullshit spirituality.. the sacred made profane by washing it out ..to make it safe for even the fake and flaky .. there is no medicine here.. no Priestesses .. no Goddesses.. just a bunch of women playing it safe.. not realizing that being called a cunt and whore .. were actually complements to the Goddess.. many 1000s of years ago.. the cunt the yoni.. the sacred whore the bridge to heaven.. the passage of the initiation .. the way to life..

They all just skim the surface.. too terrified to really touch the cloak of the divine.. to lift the veil ..to open Pandora’s BOX.. ( they will not understand that metaphor )

They search for the magic in safe and structured places.. because they lack in faith and character..to be about it..to really be the change..

They will not go deeply into the darkest uncharted waters of the soul.. they will not go because others will not go with them.. to find the pearls of wisdom..

The wisdom isn’t found walking the path that others follow.. ( how they love to follow the easy path ).. the wisdom is found were Angels fear to tread.. were only GODS go..

My break through is this… I have the pearl..

And sometimes it is best not to ” Cast your pearls upon swine ”

So let them have their pretty surface organizations.. let them post what they wish they had the courage to do..

And I will keep doing it.. while they gather in groups of spiritual darkness…being to fearful to go deep to find the light within the dark night of the soul..

It’s the only way to find the treasure..to not just say you are about it..but to be it..

With that I hold the Golden Laurel..

Born to do this

 

I know this sounds crazy.. but I am so passionate about women’s rights and issues that every night I dream about it. In my dreams I contact a higher power, we sit in a class room, office setting. We go over how women’s bodies are dismantled into parts; that we are judged by each individual part of our bodies..and how we do this to ourselves.. how we therefore give into our own objectification. In my dreams this higher power tells me why I cannot access the press.. the media.. the reason is that they want to keep women chained down and trapped in this way of objectifying themselves because they make money.. industry makes money off the objectification of women.

In my dreams, I dream of Joan of Arc.. she tells me how even back in her day she was used by the patriarchy to win battles..favors for her King.. she followed their rules and stayed a virgin.. yet still by keeping her alive and giving her credit were it was due; they knew it would empower women.. they couldn’t allow that..because entire religions and Government platforms are built on the body parts of women. So she was murdered by her own people for wearing pants. I dream of Marilyn Monroe.. she tells me in my dreams how she was groomed to sell women’s sexuality back to them. How she was used by a male industry ..never paid her worth, never given credit for how brilliant she actually was. The fullness of Marilyn wasn’t ever honored..instead she was treated like a prostitute .. she was pimped by the industry and by the Government of her time.. the fullness of her beauty .. her inner beauty not allowed to shine.. least it should truly empower other women..

These are but a few women that I dream of.. But these women are seeped into my subconscious and into the subconsciousness of all women.. and other women like them.. we are taught this pattern. We are taught that the fullness of our beauty.. our hearts and souls are not as important as our body parts.. we are chopped and butchered by society into ( Lips, hips and tits ) we are taught that smart women intimidate men..and men are taught that smart women intimidate them.. we are taught to dumb ourselves down least we should be seen as less attractive, should she be just as ambitious as a man, least she should lead like a man .. Like Joan of Arc did.. then she was murdered for daring to do an even better job, that the men of her time could not do.. because she wore the archetype of the female warrior like she was born to do it..she owned her own soul! And we see that when Marilyn demanded her worth and spoke out with her own true voice about being denied her own rights to her worth.. that she supposedly committed suicide at the prime of her life?

Even to this day I am reading in the papers how women are vilified for asking their worth..to this day a woman’s sexual worth is based on her virginity or purity.. while a man’s worth isn’t ever based on his sexual history.. but by the lack of it.. the double standards hold us all prisoner.. we look at how the church has put chains around our sexual organs.. how guilt and shame turned into a magic money machine; yet this machine is also used by the media to pit women and men against each other.. teaching men through music and art that they are entitled to just take from women what they want..entitled to make more money.. to just go and grab at and for what they need..be it a woman or a raise.. be it opportunity or date rape..because he has been taught entitlement and she has been taught to shut up.. look pretty, to know her place is were the male power dictates it to be.. least she should be punished .. become unattractive from the inside out ” You have such a pretty face, it’s too bad your such bossy bitch ”

So will I ever be given a media voice or a platform  to speak on this ..so that people can become educated to the dysfunctional patterns in our society? Not if the patriarchy can help it.. they want to keep women down..it’s the unpaid women’s work that is the needle and thread that secretly holds a male power based society together and makes them rich.. Men make the money..they invest the money were they see fit.. like in male sports, like hockey and soccer .. they don’t put male money into female sports..and they put their money into male power based adverts..that keep the patterns going..that keep opportunity and power in male hands.. but meanwhile a woman is cooking, sewing, sweating and toiling doing traditional manly chores, working in a traditional male based business or trade.. making less money.. not getting the promotion because she has a womb ..

They want to keep this message unheard and silent.. like they want to keep all women unheard .. silent in their ( Place )

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