Posts Tagged ‘CBC Arts’

I am not racist

 

Following Canandian politics I find myself longing for simpler times. It seems to me that Canadian politicians are using race and religion to divide the nation rather than to bring Canadians together. Multiculturalism is the new buzz word while the Canada that I know and love has always been multicultural. Let me explain. I was born in Vancouver Canada, in the spring of 1970. My father was an American that came to Canada as a Vietnam draft dodger. He was Native American/Dutch. He met my mother who was English/Irish decent, but a 3rd generation Canadian. They were poor so we grew up poor. My mother was mentally ill and my my father beat her often. I didn’t know this so called white entitement because I didn’t get any of it. I was what would be called white trash and a hodgepodge of white trash given my Native American Heritage and white mix. I never knew special treatment, but I did see it given to other kids at school who’s parents had money. I remember in grade 5, when I was living in Langely BC; my male grade 5 teacher took the class to the Parliament buildings in Victoria BC. I loved politics and wanted to go with the favored rich kids to watch the house debating but my teacher was only allowed to bring in 5 kids. He choose all the kids from wealthy parents and when I complained because I knew I was smarter than them, he said to me ” Gracie they have a chance at being able to do this as adults because of thier upbringing. You do not and so thats why I chose them.” my entire life has pretty much been set by that tone. Everything I have in my life has been due to hardwork, struggle and saving every penny. I guess I could of had sugar daddies but my self respect and diginity could of never allowed me. Something in my spirit just will not let me sell out.

Anyways, I grew up in Langely and Surrey BC Canada until I was 13. I really related to Sesame Street and of course grew up on it; my neighbourhood was very multicultural and at the time, as far as I remember the government wasn’t forcing other religions or scaring people into thinking every other culture and race was out to get them. I had Greek families, Iranian, Scottish, Italian, African American, mixed race families and East Indian. Through my Grandfather I also had Native American friends and Families. It just never occured to me to be racist or to be afraid of other races. Maybe it was because the families I knew from other cultures, practiced their homeland’s culture and were also very grateful to be in Canada, to be apart of Canadian culture. I remember my Greek friends dad telling me how much he dreamed of Canada and it’s culture before he came to Canada. Yet we see our government today expressing that Canada has no real culture of it’s own so we need to adapt to outside cultures. The reality is that Canadian culture is both multicultural and Canadiana. Obviously the government has stopped working for the people as it is pitting the people against eachother rather than celibrating our diffences and similarities towards coexisting. The government and the media working for the government seems to have an agenda over the people not for the people. And the government is working to place religion into laws to further divide the peole to control the people. I am not saying racism doesn’t exist; of course it does as does privilege but privilege knows no race or colour more than it runs by personal wealth and social status, or so it seems by my personal experiences.

The picture in this post was taken by my parents at my 6th birthday party. The little girl with me was a freshly immigrated East Indian Sikh; her dad wore the big turan so thats how I know now. As a kid I didn’t know or care. Her name was Sandeep but she let me call her Sandy for short. We met on the playground; the first day of grade one. She didn’t speak any english yet; she was very tall and big for her age so the kids had started to bully her. She came running around the side of the school.. running from the kids. I saw her by the big tree, she had snot running down her face, her face was stained with dirt and tears. When she got closer I could see she had a bloody nose and a bleeding lip. Just than a group of kids came around the corner to pelt her with pinecones and rocks. My big sister was with me as I sprang to action and blocked her with my body so they would stop, they hit me too; but my sister ran to get a teacher. We both got beat up pretty bad before the teacher came. The next thing I remember I was waiting with her in the office for our parents to arrive. He mother and father cryed when they saw her. They cupped her face and kissed all the bruises. When my mom came they thanked her and me. I was told I was their second daughter. Turned out they lived just down the street. Our mothers became friends and we played at eachother’s homes. They were very poor too. My mom showed her mother all the best places to shop and where all the best playgrounds were.

I remember one thing all the mothers of all the nationalities had in common down our road and in our neighbourhood; that was domestic violence. That is one thing that hasn’t changed since the 1970s. It really doesn’t matter what race, culture, wealth or social status women and their children come from .. their common denominator is domestic and sexual violence towards women and girls. Maybe if the Canadian government cut the shit; and stopped with the fake feminism; fake because it gives religion power over women in the name of diveristy.. just than, maybe we would see some progress for all of humanity..

So how do I end this post? How do I wrap it up from here? I guess the only thing that is going to save the people from the government ruling over the people by dividing the people, is for the people to see what we all do have in common vs what divides us. If you are a true Canadian or if you want to be a true Canadian than you must want and fight for everyone equally and we have to stop putting political and religious ideologies ahead of humanity. After all the religion, and gender separation we all bleed red and cry wet tears.. unlike the governments crocodile tears. Lets not be divided by rhetoric that serves the true privileged .. the elite.

#METOO how Celeste Cote helped W.Brett Wilson oppress me

Celeste Cote’s blog post about Brett allowing me to be sexually harassed in his gym

more of her blog. Click to enlarge

 

I honestly didn’t want to adress this; it was too painful for me to confront this woman; but my female and male followers just kept telling me to be brave; ” Just be brave one last time Gracie.” ” Gracie she obviously wrote this to excuse Brett of his behaviors and to try to make you look crazy.” one person wrote to me ” Why would another woman do this to another woman. On her profiles she claims to be about social justice? Do you think she works for CBC, cause they wanted to relaunch Jian Ghomeshi and they made all the women he preyed on look crazy too?” ” Why wouldn’t Brett Wilson just help you with his manager? Why did he hate you and your work so much? Does Brett Wilson hate women or did he just have it out for you? I just don’t understand why he wouldn’t want to help you with the good work you do?”

I can’t answer these questions. I am sorry I just don’t know? I don’t know why he couldn’t of just stepped in and told his gym manager to stop harassing me for her friend Joel Young whom I wrote about sexually harasing me. She was mad at me for standing up for myself and refused to believe me even though she wasn’t there  at our meeting or during the sexual harassment. I can only guess that she did it to climb the social lader herself at my expense. I learned that writing about women’s sexuality and publishing nude photos of myself as artistic expression with my writing on the subject of women’s sexual empowerment, made me a target for bullying and abuse for daring to break out of social norms. I don’t know why Brett Wilson saw me as a threat to his reputation. I don’t know what I triggered in him to make him lash out at me and to use other women in professional positions to attempt to discredit me and to destroy me publically with false aligations. I don’t know how I could possibly destroy his reputation even if I did have topless photography in his gym. All though I never asked to have topless photography in his gym only to have the same rights and privileges as other long term paying memebers.

Today, after much prompting from my followeres I did message Celeste on facebook to find that 2 years ago she had messaged me but it had not come up on my notifications. So she had written a libellious post on me, without contacting me for permission and then sent me the link to see what I had to say about it. Her bio says she is a professional and that she seeks real journalism but how is that acting in anyway professional. She was threatening and bullying. I will include my text messages to her. She denied wanting to hurt me but her actions speak otherwise. She is obviously not wanting me to take legal action against her so she is attempting to excuse her behavior just like she tired to excuse Brett’s public sexism in the post by trying to paint me as crazy and fucked up.

What is truly fucked up is that in this day and age; I as a woman am not free towards freedom of expression without being bullied, and treated without discrimination. It is absolutly fucking disgusting that we have people in the public eye posting about social justice while being total bigots for the wealthy and powerful. FUCK YOU!!!

But I will not stop fighting for women and for myself. I will not let these loosers power over me or excuse themselves of their ignorance and bigotry.

I am a real artist and a real writer that writes and expresses for the real honest to god freedom and justice for all.

Those fuckers though!

Art 4 Love

Over the last several years I realize many of my paintings have been inspired by love; or the lack of it. I did some of my paintings in an attempt to stop my ex husband from leaving me.. trying to cast a magic spell of love and understanding. Of course it didn’t work..by the time we were done renovating or building our new bedroom that I created the art for; I ending up sleeping alone in it. I slept alone totally heartbroken and suicidal, hoping and praying with all my might that it was his truck I heard pull up in the driveway.. of course it never was… I was so cold sleeping alone for the first time in 14 years.. my heart was totally broken..

Then as I went on to date, after being celibate for the first year…to give myself time to heal.. I met many men who played with my heart and emotions.. I didn’t sleep with all of them..( but I did paintings in memory of them..) I just trusted them to be honest, open and caring..but all of them were incredibly selfish..so incredibly self absorbed.. while I was pining over them they were traveling .. hanging out with their friends..seeing other women..getting laid.. living it up in their selfish worlds.. while I was feeling too much.. caring too much.. thinking too much..blaming myself too much..

The guy that I recently fell for and that I am still getting over..same thing..same as it ever was.. they come into my life and pick me apart.. because they are so perfect and untouchable..more like so selfish.. and silly me.. silly dumb me.. I give them room in my heart..I make magic out of bullshit.. I make princes out of bullshitters..

Of course I am stupid. I cannot believe how stupid I am..as I am crying on my pillow..my heart ripped wide open and bleeding like a silly fool.. me painting pretty pictures of love that doesn’t exist ..but in my own head ( making love out of nothing at all ) he is out with his friends.. my heart on the tip of his sword as trophy… just like the rest of them..basking in the glory of my foolishness.. so I guess he was right I am a victim .. for who else would leave their heart open for a good solid kicking..but a silly little victim..

 

I am a silly stupid girl..to be vulnerable..and open to those who wish to steal what they don’t deserve and that is my heart and affections..

When will I ever learn?

Free The Nipple and Goddess Movement

To the point – Both of these movements are about sexual liberation and gender equality.

            

 

Free the Nipple is an equality movement focused upon the double standards regarding the censorship of female breasts started by activist and filmmaker Lina Esco.[1] The campaign is not a crusade that exclusively advocates for women to bare their chests at any and all given times; rather, it seeks to strip society of its tendencies toward the sexualization of the female upper body, addressing hypocrisies and inconsistencies in American culture and legal systems that enforce its taboos. Ultimately, the campaign resolves to decriminalize female toplessness in the US and empower women across western nations in a greater effort toward global gender equality.

 

Of course not every woman wants to go topless were men can go topless; like the beach.. but not every man wants to take off his shirt either.. and that’s called freedom of choice.

Many old school feminist bash the movement because they have been taken in by sexual shaming and so they unknowingly shame their own sex by believing if a woman is sexy or sexual she cannot be professional, moral, ethical or taken seriously; because she is using her sexuality to get male attention.. they believe feminist need to minimize their sexuality to take on the stereotype of what a feminist looks like.. to be taken seriously..but that is exactly why women’s equality has stalled out. The new feminine/feminist movement promotes that BEING SEXY IS NOT A CRIME. The double standards promote that the world’s morality rests on the control of the womb.. or women’s sex..the over sexualization of women and girls is brought on by repression and objectification..the fine balance of natural sexuality becoming unbalanced by the polar opposites.. natural sexuality is body positive.. not sexual shaming or making women into sex objects to be bought and sold by a male based society.. an example of the double standards are.. men who have many sex partners are studs.. women who do are sluts.. men are encouraged to loose their virginity while women are made to feel dirty, or to have fallen from grace when they become sexually active.

     

 

 

Chris was very professional and easy going; he made me quite comfortable. We wanted to tell a story with these images; a story of natural sexuality, innocence and sensuality. We took these images first thing in the morning of the Summer Solstice.. I felt very much like Mother Nature .. It was a spiritual and artistic experience. Chris and I are both passionate artists.. we really enjoyed every second of the shoot.. even when the parks keepers seemed to be worried about what we were doing; but like true artist we kept shooting anyway. The water was very cold, but there were few people to worry about.. we saw eagles, deer and hawks.. it was a beautiful country morning. The images were shot at Bertram Creek Regional Park Kelowna BC Canada.. of course I was in my legal rights to go topless..but most people in Kelowna are not ready for that..it’s a repressive, conservative community…but that is why we needed to do this.

I am the country girl that decides to challenge social taboos and go for a swim topless.. just like every man has a right to do. The images are meant to show natural sexuality..sensuality and playfulness.

I know I will get a lot of hate from my local community for doing this.. I always do. People are really afraid of change and evolution.. but religion is outgrowing it’s usefulness to society.. traditions are now prejudices that cause inequality..

I hope to enlighten my community..but .. ” The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off ” ~ Gloria Steinem

You can find my book at this link http://bookstore.balboapress.com/Products/SKU-000576933/The-Goddess-an-Expression-of-the-Divine-Feminine.aspx

 

 

Original Content

( click on the images to enlarge them and see them move.. have fun )  :)

 

 

I better be very careful from now on about what I write because Mary Lawver is watching over my blog and reporting me to the RCMP.. I must realize that she has total control over the content of my blog and mind.. or Mary is going to tattle tale on me for writing vile content. I am a mother, so according to Mary I am not allowed to use vile language .. like the words ( fuck, fuck you, fuck off, bitch, cunt.. etc ) because Mary is the blog and online police.. if I don’t keep within her standards of tattle tale approval I will be reported on to Mental Health, my local papers, The Mayor of Kelowna, Google, Youtube, Facebook etc.. etc.. because I must do as I am told ..or according to Mary if I don’t follow her censorship I should have my children taken away from me and I should be forced into the mental ward.. and then I should be forced onto medication.. until I turn into Mary..

If I was to be like Mary.. I would behave like Mary online.. and post unoriginal content.. Yes nothing groundbreaking or artistic.. original or remotely controversial.. nope.. I would be keeping pure and safe.. and then if anyone should dare write about sexuality.. post any images of artistic nudity.. I would jump on that like a busy body.. and report that vile offender. I would then condemn them to be locked up and shunned by society.. yes that is what I would do if I was Mary.. and then I would secretly know that they were condemned to burn in HELL!

If I was Mary.. if the wicked sinners crossed me.. if they dared to stand up to my ultimate self righteous demands on their behavior and lifestyle.. I would call them bullies and a stalkers.. while I bullied and stalked them relentlessly under a fake name and image online.. because if I was Mary I would see myself as the supreme authority on all vile, sickos daring to call themselves feminist and artist.. secretly as Mary I would find gay people disgusting. As Mary I see mothers as being only mothers; they are not allowed to have dreams and goals past their children. If I saw a single mother being sexy and sensual online I would report that little bitch.

As Mary I have no original content.. so don’t know how to mind my own fucking business.. and because my mind is void of all creativity I cannot tolerate such crazy behavior online. I don’t know how to mind my own fucking business because I don’t have any creative hobbies of my own. As Mary my hobby is making you miserable .. you pathetic creative, crazy, sexy, freaks you make me uncomfortable with your liberal thoughts and attitudes. I cannot stand the thought of you having great sex when I am afraid to touch my own girly parts.

As Mary I haven’t ever had an orgasm.. because that is vile and evil.. that sexual energy and compulsion to wither about .. that is the work of the DEVIL.

All of you artist have multiple sex partners I know it! You have threesomes, and orgies .. I will have none of that! I will see to it that all unknown, sexy artist will be emotionally destroyed before they reach mainstream and taint the world with more FILTH! I fill fixate and hunt you all down by contacting your rivals and competition, to secretly have others do my dirty work for me. I will make sure they all know how disgusting and sickening your sexuality .. your orgasms on canvas, camera, screen, musical recordings, writings and withering dances are.. I will clean up the morality on this planet for the good lord commands me to do so as his good Christian Soldier .. I am Mary.. I am right.. all these sexy little artist and their sexual ways remind me of the withering pits of hell..full of demonic orgies .. Satan sitting on his throne of fire weaving his magic lust over his sexual slaves of creative compulsion!

I am Mary..and so I am like Mother Teresa .. I think AIDs is a curse from God.. to smite the wicked orgasming sinners.. those who fornicate outside of marriage and with same sex partners in orgies of artistic passion!

I am here to clean the world of such filth.. there will be no dancing.. no paintings of nudes, no lyrics sung or written of sex.. I will have all the artist and creative genius.. locked up .. medicated.. sterilize ..and their children taken from them to  be raised by me! ~ Mary

Cause haters gonna hate!

And the best way to deal with it.. is to have a good laugh at their expense.. all in the name of artistic expression.

 

Men are stupid

 

I just figured out what the glass ceiling is all about.. it’s cause men are stupid when it comes to women.. and they are driving me fucking crazy. Even you guys will agree to this.. what causes the male IQ to drop below ground zero faster than a speeding bullet? .. we all know the answer.. every single one us in puberty or past it knows.. it’s BOOBS!!!

BOOBS.. turn men into BOOBS..and big babies.. they drool and fall all over themselves… it makes them feel vulnerable.. ( nailed it ) I just nailed it! It is why men want women to cover up.. dress appropriately and be proper ladies.. because they fear acting out like drooling, stupid idiots in front of a woman who is sensual and sexy.. so they have placed the ownership of their sexual vulnerable underbelly onto us .. So that’s why a woman who is dressed ( what any man my deem as too sexy ) isn’t to be taken seriously.. because by doing so she ( according to society ) is giving him permission to treat her like a walking rack of BOOBS.. So the glass ceiling will keep us in our PLACE until the majority of men can grow the fuck up.

Guess what? In my book I show my boobs.. so guess what? That makes men treat me like a bimbo.. and of course according to society I am asking for the disrespect..

So in order to break this glass ceiling women have to dare to step out of place.. but as usual it’s the circle or cycle of ” damned if you do, damned if you don’t” really sums up what its like to be a woman in all aspects of life as female.. because the male run societies of the world have us trapped in a call back loop.. you know what mean? It’s like an answering service.. that only uses computers.. you never get though to an actual person.. that’s what it’s like as woman living in a male run world.. I sure have found that out trying to promote my book.. it’s like.. impossible! I have to have a man champion me and my cause to make headway.. it’s like headway being a penis.. penis head..get it? I have said it many times..” I wasn’t born with a dick but I need a dick ( man ) to help me penetrate the male world” I know it’s like homosexuality.. I don’t have problem with that..but it’s a boy’s club.. I am so fed up! I am going fucking crazy!

I could give so many examples.. even in the fitness world..I am not taken seriously because I don’t man up.. I don’t look masculine..if I looked super muscular than men wouldn’t get so stupid..because I wouldn’t be so curvy and my boobs would shrink down to almost nothing.. so they could control themselves better around me.. and it’s like that in the professional world too.. you have to suit up.. if you’r too pretty and too feminine then you are a distraction.. even in grade schools the girls are being taught not to show bra straps so they don’t distract the boys.. ( Thanks Stephen Harper.. you really know how to train youth about sexual repression, rape culture thinking, and you are teaching young boys that they are not responsible for their own sexual impulses..but girls are? wtf? )

Taking a look at media promoted sexuality ( that is male sexuality.. because the world is run by men.. a huge majority of high powered positions are held by men world wide.. and so they use their money to build all industry including the sex industry and sexuality in general.. like the fashion industry and the fitness industry.. and of course the porn industry ) looking at the sex industry or sexuality in society in general.. as a metaphor.. we can see it behaves and runs just like the male sex drive.. it’s porn or puritan.. because when men are turned on they are turned on.. so we have the Madonna/Whore complex imposed upon all women world wide.. very elementary..but so is the male sex drive.. the only way a man cannot get it up, is if he feels to much pressure to get it up or he is sick.. other than that just looking at a voluptuous woman.. tree.. piece of fruit.. a strong breeze with get most healthy men hard and ready… and stupid..

So this is what is causing all my frustration ( pun intended ) It drives me absolutely fucking crazy.. because men are stupid.

If anyone is actually interested in some intellectual, informative .. but entertaining reading.. or arts and culture please purchase my book off

http://bookstore.balboapress.com/Products/SKU-000576933/The-Goddess-an-Expression-of-the-Divine-Feminine.aspx

Entrepreneur .. what I learned about failure

 

 

 

I have failed in attempting to promote my book in my home town of Kelowna BC Canada..

The first thing I learned …what I am made of; I am very tenacious, resilient, and determined. I went through incredible hardships doing my best to bash through social prejudice, sexism and bigotry put upon women’s sexuality. I learned that I am pretty strong.

I don’t think my approach would of mattered. Given the subject matter of the book; given that I am topless in the photography and that I candidly wrote about women’s sexuality and used my own sexuality in the book as an example.. I don’t think I could of approached anyone differently in my community .. or by approaching them differently would I have seen other results. By what I have been through I can see by a couple of years experience that these prejudices and sexisms are very well established in our society.. and they are..

1. To be taken seriously as a professional don’t publish topless images of yourself. But it’s ok to publish them of other women if that is your profession

2. You must have a degree to be taken seriously

4. You must know someone or many people within the professional and arts community to be given any help or press releases

5. You must be a part of a networking click to be acceptable

6. To talk about, write about, be about your sexuality as a woman, you are asking for harassment, bullying and to be shut out.

I failed by not knowing my society. I failed because I was childish in my perspective of others. I failed because I underestimated how conservative and repressed my local society is.

Looking back at what I know now; I wouldn’t of even attempted to retain some ground or a speaking platform in my city. I wouldn’t of put myself through such grief, pain and suffering.

I would simply of kept my work online and kept myself away from all of the ignorance.

I was given a wonderful opportunity from Chapters in Kelowna to have my book put in the local authors section. But looking back now, now, that none of them sold since the book signing and so the contract has been cancelled..but looking back now I wouldn’t of even attempted that.. as Kelowna is clearly not my market.

I know that if I did become successful by chance by promoting my book online; Kelowna would fully accept me..but I will not be accepted by Kelowna in any other way..

So the biggest lesson was to know my market.. but I honestly couldn’t of foreseen the intense prejudice in Kelowna without having directly experienced it myself..and it truly does blow my mind.

I have learned how naive and unsophisticated I am .. I was like a child in creating my book and dream.. like a child in expecting that I had equal rights..that I actually had freedom of expression as an artist in the first world.. instead I found that I dredged up what was at the very undercurrents of western society..and that is we haven’t really come that far at all since the 1950s as far as equality and women’s rights ..or for the rights of minorities in general..

I have learned this is truly why my book is needed..and why a new organization or society needs to take up root..so that we can truly live in our supposed freedoms and equalities ..

Even though I am sad at my failure and that I haven’t experienced any form of success in Kelowna.. I am proud of myself for working as hard as I have worked at it over the last couple of years..

By God what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger..and you sure learn.

 

Purchase my book The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine off Amazon.ca

Follow me on Facebook and Youtube..and here on my blog.

Links