Posts Tagged ‘Canadian Culture’

Nasty, Naughty or Nice?

I never thought I would ever apologize to W. Brett Wilson; but this is my official public apology.

I am not going to make him into Mr. Perfect or me into Mrs. Perfect.

He was wrong for allowing the staff at his gym to bully me by treating me with prejudice. He allowed it because it was simply inconvenient for him to bother with. But by allowing it, he was not being the solution but he was being apart of the problem. But I am not perfect either. I responded poorly and I bullied him by sharing nude pictures of him from a trolling twitter account that I believe was set up by Mary Zilba and her friends. I didn’t know that at the time. I was duped by my own anger that made me blind to my own stupidity. So I responded to his staff’s poor behavior by becoming a bully myself. And so I apologize to him for that. Two wrongs just create more wrong.

I could be wrong that it was Mary and her friends that set up that account and contacted me with it; I could be wrong that they saw my rage and war with him as an opportunity to get back at him for not wanting to be in a committed relationship with her. She and her friends may not have written The Dirty on him? I could be wrong.

But one thing is for sure, Mary doesn’t know the first thing about what it is really like to be bullied or be labeled as a Nasty Woman. Her online profile is a metaphor for mediocrity and as to .. how to be a nice girl. I don’t know how a woman that is so fake can profess to be about women’s empowerment when she herself is afraid to fully express herself. She is afraid to age and she stands for a beauty industry that sells women back to themselves washed out and disempowered, not empowered by their own original and raw beauty.

I find these perfected beauty standards being sold as women’s empowerment to be quite troubling and they can simply washout the entire cause for true women’s empowerment by making it just more commercialism .. more plastic perfected, bullshit not meant to empower women but as more media confusion leading women away from themselves.

Mary stands for a beauty industry that makes women feel powerless by comparing themselves to impossible standards of beauty. Like never aging and being ashamed of your real age. This isn’t empowerment and is more of the double standards and the promotion of cattiness vs a real sisterhood.

We see media twisting the real message to empower elite women vs the everyday woman doing women’s work that is always given lesser value.

We are meant to look up to women like Mary while they look down on us and throw us crumbs by making us their charities.

It is very troubling indeed..

But then again I suppose my bitterness is nasty while Mary hashtags herself as #NastyWoman to promote  ( I don’t know what? ) seems like Disney Princess shit to me..

Not a woman who is raw and open and willing to get Nasty in and out of the bedroom.. not a woman who isn’t afraid to be her true authentic self..

Justin Trudeau you had me at Feminism

 

You had me at feminism but you probably will not read this poorly unedited, blog written by a self educated woman that isn’t included into your Camelot Circle. I am not a wealthy or connected person and so from what I have seen of you I will not matter. I am a commoner. I was really reminded of that watching the Royal Convoy speed past me and my children in Kelowna BC yesterday afternoon. The Liberal Government has been reminding common folk that they are common folk, as they surround themselves with only the best and most important people in the world. I simply don’t matter. I am just another number or statistic. I am just a single mother doing the single mother struggle. I am a renter caught in the middle of a greedy monster of a market brought into BC by the Chinese laundering their money through Vancouver real estate.

But anyways.. you had me at feminism, and so I watched you appoint many women into your government and I watched you support aboriginal women to work for you in your government..and then I watched you to see what actions you would take in supporting all women, all over Canada.. but I have to say that since your appointment I haven’t seen much from you. You have traveled to create positive relationships towards trade to other countries like China, you have taken multiple vacations and you always seem to be jet setting somewhere to do something ” important” you did increase family allowance and that was very helpful towards single mothers like me.. but…

Did you take notice of the Canadian judge that told a 19 year old rape victim to keep her legs together? Did you notice that he wasn’t fired right away, I have been watching the press and as far as I can tell he is still on the payroll.. So what are you going to do about it? How are you going to address and repair our judicial system towards educating judges and their misogyny?

Did you know that if a woman on welfare lives with a man for only 3 months she can have her support taken away from her as she is deemed to be in his care? Doesn’t it seem reasonable to assume then that she would be forced to stay in an abusive relationship so as not to become homeless? What are you going to do about it? Why haven’t welfare rates been raised to match inflation? Do you know how many women and children are on welfare, do you know how many children go hungry because the government refuses to give the common and poor dignity? What are you going to do about it?

Did you know that according to The Province male landlords in Vancouver are placing adds for female tenants to pay for their rent with sex? Don’t you think if women made equal pay and had the same opportunities as men that situations like this would and could be minimized? What are you going to do about it? The Province reported that the police will do nothing about it until women come forward individually. I think that is sexist and I think you should make the police.. police and put them up to an undercover sting operation.. am I the only one thinking about this? Why are you not thinking about this? Are you to busy hobnobbing with the snobs and really important people to be thinking about the common people? It seems so.

Why are you allowing rents to increase with out creating a law that stops landlords from asking for such unreasonably high rents? Why are you not capping the rent increases so that cities like Vancouver and Kelowna will be affordable and enjoyable for all Canadians? Don’t you think that if the rents were capped that it would decrease the amounts of men asking for sex as payment of rent and don’t you think it would make it easier for single parents to find homes to raise their children in? Don’t you think that capping rents would make it so that people can afford to eat? How can people afford these unreasonably high rents when working full time on minimum wage as it still puts them below the poverty line? Did you know that landlords are now making unreasonable request towards renter’s personal information and personal business because the market is so cut throat .. so they can invade on people’s right to privacy.. they are picking and preening.

Or is it more important to you to bring more Chinese money into BC to make it a tourist destination or a rich only destination to create more wealth for the wealthy?

You were born to privilege, you were born into the political life.. so are you so blinded by your upbringing that you cannot empathize with the common people and their basic needs to human rights? Is wealth and giving and getting privilege the goal?

Of course there are surmountable responsibilities towards running a country and being Prime Minister .. I would like you and I think other Canadian’s would like to see you sit your down in your office and get to work.I think it is time for you to be practical and down to earth towards the simple things that matter to the public, because you were appointed to serve us not your rich and very important friends and associates ..all women deserve equality and safety not just the select few that you have selected.

All Canadians deserve respect and dignity not just the select few that can afford to buy into a hugely inflated real estate market. I think as a Prime Minister your first course of action should of been to take care of societies most vulnerable.

But of course what do I know.. because statistically speaking, I am one of them.

When She Own’s It

 

How many times do I have to write about this topic before it will sink into the collective consciousness of humanity? Women’s bodies and wombs are regulated by government, a government that is male based or strongly influenced by mainly men.. we call that The Patriarchy. The Patriarchy isn’t just in religion as religion is steeped into government mandates or rules and regulations.. hence abortion always being on the table or the mandating of the womb. The control of the hand that rocks the cradle..for as the old saying goes..an old saying put froth by the Patriarchy centuries ago

” The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” and so it is that men { generalizing here} do everything to control the hand that rocks the cradle. Funny that the word ( Man ) is in ( mandate ) meaning to give over one’s authority to another. And so it is that a woman’s sexuality is only permissible if it passes through the gates of a male lens or certain standard. If a woman own’s it; if she is free with her own sexuality she is labeled as obscene and indecent. Such as the issue of women breastfeeding in public or going topless on public beaches. I suppose we need to mandate this in order to make men feel that they will not loose their sense of freedom by allowing women to have theirs.. did you notice the word ( allow ) and isn’t that just the core of the issue? How do men retain this control of women? It is simply through abuse. It is physical, financial, mental and emotional abuse.. many of these abuses we see present in the average daily relationships between men and women..but wait.. is it all his fault?

No it’s not entirely all his fault as much as it is the faulty way that society has taught all of us to view women’s sexuality through this tainted and unhealthy lens.. because these abusive patterns are rigid belief systems.. such as RELIGION .. stagnate us as the entire human race towards moving forwards to enlightenment or becoming conscious of our unhealthy and hurtful nature towards what is simply natural. A woman’s body will not make a man do evil things, or render him helpless to her sexual power.. that only happens if he tells himself that it will happen.. therefor using it as an excuse to loose power over his own common sense and better judgement not to be responsible for his own behaviors.

Quite simply the abortion and birth control debates are based on fear level thinking..not on fact or science. Seeing the human body as evil and or sinful for it’s nudity rather than seeing it as the natural beauty of art and science is also ignorant fear based thinking.. by those brainwashed by old and outdated social norms that create anything but normalcy. Shaming, blaming, controlling women and girls with the fears of violence, rape ( rape is sexual violence ) and it isn’t her rape to own.. it is his sickness to own .. financial manipulation by controlling a woman’s money .. ( society propels this by not paying women equal to men or making child care affordable.. or abortions legal..or birth control easy to access.. and then of course their is the emotional abuse )

” You crazy slut. Put some clothes on you nasty bitch. Wanna fuck whore.. you must wanna fuck because you look like you are dressed to fuck.” need I say more??? Seems I always have to say more.. falls on def ears.. ignorant ears that see my work about women’s sexuality as {Putting it out there}.. because * SHE SHOULD HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR HERSELF* I want to know how people equate a woman using her body as art in photography as me or other women not having respect for themselves? I don’t understand why you can’t be intelligent enough to catch yourself in your own knuckle dragging ignorance to not be able to see that I am doing this to prove a point here..and that is to expose ignorance and enlighten and educate the ignorant by living the message of women’s sexual freedom by being free.. so if you have half a brain you should be able to put 2 and 2 together by what I wrote above as to why I wrote my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) and as to why I use my own image and story in the book.. let me go over it once again for you ” I am owning it” do you get it now?

And of course because of doing my best to expose ignorance..to turn the light on in the dark ages, to bring about the golden light of intellectualism .. the ignorant zombies came at me x3 fold.. funny how that works.. ” Don’t make us think and evolve it’s painful.. we like our stupid stupor .” And so I have met with sexism and hatred ..with name calling.. being blacklisted and black balled ..even by those who profess spiritual enlightenment, to promote equality, women’s rights and even intellectualism.. but dysfunction dies hard..and to deviate from the norm brings social ostracization .. even if the normal in society is sick with abusive behaviors.. even if society is killing it’s self by not living to it’s full potential by keeping half the gender down and enslaved by sexual shaming and perversions..

As we know women’s sexuality can be sold by men or the Patriarchy within what they deem as worthy of sale..and so with that women are enslaved by chains around the ovaries .. by their body image being sold back to them as an impossible ideal to obtain.. we are either Madonna or Whore..Good Girl or Bad Girl.. seen through the lens of the Patriarchy a woman’s psyche is torn in 2 ..as she is no longer the Earth Mother… the natural nurturer.. she not allowed to move in her full essence and so she is drained of her full power by men who are not true men ..as mature men welcome and relish in the full essence of woman’s juicy ” Owning it.” And  also she is drained by other women shaming her due to socialized patterns of behavior ingrained into them by a sick society, they rob themselves of the Goddess within them..by denying the Goddess in other women.

And so ” When She Own’s it” when she steps into her skin unapologetic.. when she redefines the word ” Bitch” as ” Queen” and that is “”Queen Bitch to you!”" she steps into her Goddess.. and that is what frail men..insecure men are terrified of because once she own’s it, he has to grow up and own his own shit.

So if the pictures that I am using in this post offend you.. it’s therapy .. the question to be asking yourself is ” WHY?” what are your issues?

Listen to the music

I created these art selfies in the park while being inspired by the piano man. I wanted to show you what the music looks like.

So many things and so many people have broken my heart.. my mind has been greatly troubled and my demons had their way with me.. Everything surfaced when I met with another person who is quite popular and well know in my local community. I knew our experiences were night and day.. I knew that meeting with him would prove to be painful.. yet I had to try.. just try. But afterwards I saw that he was very good friends with many of the people who deliberately hurt me.. by excluding me from organizations.. by being prejudiced against me as an artist..because I don’t create safe wine art..or coffee table art..or decor.. my art is raw and meaningful..sexual and passionate.. intellectual and intelligent .. my art is controversy and so I am controversy.. but the old wounds that didn’t have time to heal..that were still seeping in pain..burst open.. and my mind was filled with the worms that came from the can of worms that was reopened.. upon meeting with a man who has so much more than I have.. one that is my direct opposite in comparison towards being fully accepted vs being labeled as inappropriate..

musical magical spell

So I finally cried myself to sleep last night.. finally the damn burst inside of me..the frustration weeping from me ..turning into silent hot ..scolding tears of the words that couldn’t give verse.. to expressing the rage..that words cannot explain..but only hot silent tears can tell.

I was still in my funk when I took my kids to city park.. my oldest daughter wanted to sunbathe as she did her sketching..and my son wanted to skateboard with the big boys.. I was bitchy from feeling surrounded by Kelowna..feeling sick of Kelowna; as we drove up to find some event going on in the park.. but as we set up..and spread our blankets..unpacked our snacks..the music started to play.. live music..and I felt my self .. start to relax.. I felt the anger start to leave me.. as my children played..and the music played..and the burning sun, kissed my shoulders..

musical bliss

Then a man who wrote his own music and lyrics started to play the piano..it was only him..his heart..and the piano.. and he played it will all heart..

the music in my heart

I felt the tears well up..and my heart climbed into my throat.. his music was so rich.. opulent .. he turned joy to sorrow and sorrow to joy.. it was as if his fingers played the keys and then my heart at the same time.. it was the music.. it broke the evil spell that was cast over me..by me comparing myself to them again.. knowing that they all laugh at me because I am nothing like them.. I, myself knowing, I couldn’t ever be like them.. knowing I will never fit in.. I will never be accepted by them or be appropriate to them.. but somehow the music cast a new spell..a sweet spell of magic that brought me to my knees on the inside.. I prayed to the music as I was present with each note.. fully there on each scale..and then the crescendo broke my heart wide open.. raw and vulnerable .. pure but damaged.. I was with the music..with the passion and purity..with the sweetness and the rage.. ripped apart..wide open ..a bloody heart full of feeling..ripe and bleeding..

music

And I knew this artist playing.. I knew he knew that none of this shit matters.. none of these people matter.. it’s the art that matters.. it’s the music.. it is the creative bliss that makes one bleed on the keys of the piano.. they all listen to him..but it is just him and the piano and they are one.. one with the universal flow of creative energy.. the life force.. and so artist die to their craft to be truly alive…

crazy artist

Every artist walks with a heart that is never fully mended.. we take our pain and we use it to paint our bliss..

blissful surrender to the music

Many who read this will never understand what it is like to walk the earth with your heart bleeding droplets of ruby red…

Because I am Canadian

 

Because I am Canadian I was born free. In this post I am going to concentrate on all the wonderful things about being born a Canadian or being Canadian. I am very blessed that in this lifetime my stars brought me here, to this place and into this time. I believe we all originate as stardust and that we are the energy of the Universe concentrated into human life forms. I have a purpose in this lifetime and I have had a purpose in all my past lifetimes.. in this life time I was born a Canadian to practice the freedoms given to Canadians. I am an artist; and by being an artist it is my souls calling to help liberate humanity. I help to liberate other women by speaking out through my book, blog, and website.. through all my online profiles.. through all my creativity to help liberate other women in other countries that don’t have the freedoms of speech and artistic expression that I do as an artist living in Canada..and as a person or woman born onto Canadian soil.. and for that Canada.. I am eternally grateful for.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As a Canadian I feel my solidarity for my country deep within my soul; within the very fibers of my flesh..within every passionate beat of my heart… Canada I love you so much.. I love the land.. I love the majority of the peace-lovers of Canada.. I love the diversity within our country and the spirit of the Canadian people for wide open spaces.. for big sky.. big mountains..big lakes .. for the love of our fresh air experiences. The maples speak to me; they whisper of native lore and traditions ..of spirits that cannot be seen only felt and dreamed of. The sound of the rain on the spring maples.. the whisper of the leaves as they fall.. to the changing seasons of the romance and the brutality of Canadian winters… Canada you are in me..I love you.

I think it is the Canadian wilderness; that speaks of adventure.. it gives one the longing to be as the wind.. to be swept away by the rugged landscape.. to want to walk for miles and miles and miles.

Even when I was a little girl I would disappear into the land.. I would become one with the nature of Canada.. I would ride my horse bareback .. nothing but a backpack ..and just loose myself in the wind.. in the water of the lakes..in the reeds.. my horse and I would travel.. no destination .. no expectations, except to taken in by the sound of loons.. the sound of sweet sadness.. of lovers calling out while the crickets chirped their own melody.. and the frogs sang along.. the fish jumping.. making silver liquid ripples.. to dance an ancient dance.. my hair the color of wheat.. my horses mane entwined with my mane.. as I lay back on her back.. to smell her scent of sweet hay and oats, her warmth and strength and.. nothing but Canada.. because I am Canadian ..

And then I as rode back home my grandfather would meet me at the creek along the road.. he would be tickling trout ..and he would wave to me silently to dismount.. quietly I would wade in beside him.. and watch as the fish fell asleep in his hand as he stroked their underbellies in the sun kissed, pure water.. He would flip then out.. onto the banks ..it was my job to scramble and get them alive into the bucket, so we could take them home fresh for Nana to cook.. Then Gramps would play the spoons.. and in his Newfie accent he would demand ” Gracie give us a jig !” I would do my best..as he laughed and sang ” Barney Goggle.. with the gooo gooo googly eyes.. Barney Goggle with the goo gooo googly eyes.. now he is sleeping with his horse and his wife is suing for divorce.. Barney Goggle with the goo goo googly eyes! ”

He would talk about farming ..and the lighthouse he owned in his youth..and talk about his favorite horse and their adventures.. and my Nana would sass him.. and the loon’s sad melody would sing us all to sleep..and the wolves howled in reply so very bitter sweet…

This Canadian Woman’s.. opinion of Hockey

When I was a young girl; I was a tomboy, I loved playing street hockey with the boys. Left defense was my position of choice..but if right wasn’t doing it like they should; I would make up for the other player. I was very competitive, I could take hits and give them.. I earned the nick name ” Slasher ” it still makes me laugh. Now that I am all grown up; I am a very athletic and fit woman; even being in my 40s, having had three children; I could still slash and check now. I love training and sports. But I hate the macho bullshit that goes with sports. All the money that gets funneled into a game; a game that is primarily owned and made into a monopoly by rich greedy men. I know from experience that it promotes a sense of entitlement and sexism to men, that trickles into homes and marriages.. this is the experience I had with my now ex husband.

I found that hockey could be used as an excuse by my husband as the reason not to have to be present with his family; my ex also used work and golf for the exact same reasons. Using work as an excuse not to parent or spend time with me, was a way to take the high road for as master manipulation; after all, how do you fault a man for wanting to supply for his family? Hockey, and or other organized sports were his reward for all of his hard work outside of the home; you see I was being taught in a very sexist way, that he was entitled to his entitlement; that my work in the home or outside of the home wasn’t as important as his. I was being told by my husband and by society that if I was a good woman; I would be submissive, I should, we all should , just handle the kids, the home and our own feelings of loneliness.. to martyr our own happiness.. for the sake of his.

I wonder how many other women fake liking hockey to make their men happy? I wonder how many women fake being cool with it when they are seething inside because he puts a game ahead of his wife and kids..? I bet it’s like faking an orgasm; because she cannot reach those peaks of pleasure; because he is there only physically but not emotionally. How many women are listening to the hockey game playing in the background having their man right next to them..but feeling a total disconnect; lack of companionship.. being not alone but feeling totally alone?

I cannot count the number of dinners I made for him that he didn’t even taste; how many times our then young children did something cute, monumental or amazing.. when he was right there in the house, that he didn’t even see. How many women have cooked the dinner; put the kids to bed, washed the dishes.. and fell asleep while he tuned out watching hockey? How many women self pleasured.. because he was downstairs .. in an entire different dimension ( hockey land ) while he should of been making love to her?

How many hockey pools could she gamble on better then him; just by knowing the names of the top players because the hockey announcers voices playing in the back ground drilled the into her subconscious so completely, that she can recite them in her sleep?

I wonder how many women I am writing this for? How many women want to yell this into their man’s faces? How many women stuff this down every hockey season..or for every season his next favorite sport plays? How man women feel shut out; that are shut out for a stupid fucking game; a game that over pays players, and that promotes sexual inequality by the over pay and over promotion of male sports over female sports? How many fathers are teaching their sons to treat their wives like emotional baggage  when the game comes on? How man fathers are teaching their daughters that a sport means more to them, then family ..then love? But at the same time ..it’s up to us as women to speak up; to not stuff it down, to tell him our true feelings.

But to cover all bases ( pun intended ) some women really do love the game as much as their husbands.. if so this post isn’t for you.. move on, carry on.

Now fast-forward to my life today; as a divorced, single mom.. the play-offs are playing at his place but not at mine. My weekend with the kids; we watched a movie, made old fashioned popcorn, on the stove, in a pot..and spent family time together.. there isn’t any hockey here..and I am so grateful now that the marriage is over.. I will never be put behind a game; work, or any other interest when I meet  another. I will speak up right away..and if my needs are not met for equality.. I will walk away..

Tonight my ex is watching hockey with the woman he had an affair with.. and that’s just karma.. because now he is ignoring her.

 

The Real Stupid Housewives of Vancouver

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am going to get strait to the point as to why I think such a trashy show was put out by the Canadian media.. The real housewives are media whores. They are pimped by the media industry to sell product.. like duh!? Think about it.. how does that show make you feel as a woman watching it? It makes you want to go out and get a face-lift, nose job, check implants, a weave, Botox, facial, paws and claws and then it makes you want to go on a shopping spree. Not only that but it teaches women to be shallow. Can you get any shallower than making it your life’s goal to gold-dig? To gold dig you need to buy stuff! Yup that is it in a nutshell!

Look at these women from the inside out.. what is in the inside? Not much.. it’s all about appearances.. it’s all about becoming a selfish, self indulgent shallow as a puddle narcissistic bitch..and then the show teaches women to claw over each other and compete for male attention..because remember your main goal is to work as little as possible while professing to be working your ass off.

And so the sickening beast of the media machine is exposed for what it is.. disgusting greed over morals and integrity.. greed over character and true inner beauty.. selfishness over compassion and giving..because it is more important to collect shoes and cars than it is to feed the starving.

The show also is a tourist draw.. they show Vancouver in full sun ..show the best parts and places of Vancouver.. Vancouver is my place of birth.. this isn’t a true representation of the real Vancouver and these housewives are anything but real.. seriously when they die..well they have been mummified while still alive.. you will be able to dig them up a hundreds of years from now and they will look like the plastic, media, pornographic, puppet dolls the are.

And what a great role model for young girls.. eh? Canadians? Just be pretty, shallow, stupid, fake bimbos and make your life’s goal to meet a rich jerk..then go on TV and rub everyone else’s face in it to prove your worth.. but the truth is they are worthless.. No dreams, no goals, no intentions of truly helping humanity or making a difference for the human race.. using charities as forms of selfish, self promotion for more media popularity and fake fame..

I should be compensated for sitting through 2/3s of the first episode.. I was close to exercising my right to die.. my poor brain!.. But I did it for you.. to expose to you why this SHIT is placed under our noses like some golden carrot on a string.. it’s to make you pull out your credit cards.. get horribly in dept..and to make you feel like shit about your bottom line..

Trust me.. if you are living to make a difference, if you care about other people other than yourself.. your way better off then them..

Shit like this is why I wrote my book.. so that women don’t allow media to keep using other women to get other women to buy back their own beauty.. cause some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of shit!

 

 

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