Posts Tagged ‘ancient wisdom’

How Sacred Sexuality Promotes Healthy Sexuality

Unhealthy sexuality is defined by the fact that it causes sexual dysfunction like perversion. Perversion can be defined as obsessive and repulsive acts like having sex with animals, pedophilia, necrophilia, rape.. etc. Sexual addiction is also unhealthy sexuality as it becomes self destructive. Sexual addiction completely takes over a person’s life, like all other addictions they live their lives totally out of balance for the next rush or high that they get from sex. Sexually transmitted diseases are obviously another form of unhealthy sexuality and the more random one’s partners the higher the risk towards becoming infected with multiple STDs.

Sacred sexuality teaches us to temper our lusts with wisdom and love. Through a spiritual lens we understand the body and it’s practical functions as also sacred and holy. Sex is never just sex as it is the energy of two souls becoming alchemised as one. Lust for the sake of just pure animal impulses is seen as lower or dense energy.. lust that is channeled into love through the bridge of emotional intimacy can be used to create a long lasting and meaningful relationships. By seeing sex as sacred we make what would be seen religiously as profane, holy. But by being selective with whom we share our bodies and soul’s energy with we also create a physically healthy sexuality and emotionally healthy sexuality.

Sacred sexuality isn’t steeped in the dogma of religion or even in the dogma of tantra …. but in the practicality of the wisdom of seeing the flesh and soul as one.

The issue with having too many sexual partners is becoming numb towards true intimacy.. seeing sex as simply a physical act can make many people learn over time to push away or deny their emotions towards the people that they are having sex with.. and that is why in today’s ” Hook up ” culture society as a whole has become intimacy deprived or even retarded. By calling society emotionally retarded it means that we have become impaired towards making emotional and even intellectual connections in our personal romantic relationships, because we have learned over time to deny our emotions. We have learned through the hook up culture to deny our hearts desires to deeply, and intimately connect to one another on a soulful level.

With leaving the heart and soul out of sexuality we have forgotten how to be sensual and empowered by our sexuality rather than to be driven by it, channel it rather than have it drive us off course towards dysfunction and addiction.

Sex is powerful energy and we must learn to use it wisely and to respect it as a force of nature.. much like fire ..if you play with it and handle it without respect and care you will get burned by it.

The rule of sacred sex is that it does no harm to you or to others; not just on a physical level but on an emotional level. The problem with having sex for just the sake of lust is that eventually someone gets hurt physically with disease or emotionally by being denied the love of the other. There is always cause and effect in the Universe.. eventually the karma of what you have denied for the sake of lust will catch up and connect with you towards an intense spiritual lesson.. so be responsible towards how you play with the deep cosmic energy of sexuality, by being conscious and aware we can use our sexuality to create a heaven on earth.. in a practical and spiritual sense.

 

The Cosmic Flow of the New and Full Moon Eclipses for September 2016

 

The Universe is asking us to ask this question ” Who have you been pretending to be so that everyone will like you?’

With the New Moon Eclipse in Virgo we were energetically being purified of ego; purified of our own ego lies or shadows from within that were coming to the surface or to the light of our awareness. Many of these shadows were things that we were doing to fit in or to gain favor from our peer groups or from society. Did you personally experience it? I was forced into seeing it by being shocked by the selfishness of others around me in my community; and forced to see that I had been slowly selling myself out to belong or get along in a community that was totally submerged in deep and heavy ego energy. I was forced by shocking events into becoming suddenly awakened towards my own ego and the fact that I had been drawn into their games unconsciously by trying to play games with them. I learned that I live in an area that is overly competitive and that I was drawn into that overly and unhealthy competition by constantly trying to prove my worth to them. By a shocking event my Neptunian rose colored glasses shattered and the ego fog parted and I was able to see just what they had made me into or rather what I had allowed them to make me into; I knew if I didn’t purge myself and distance myself from that community, I would become just like them. I knew then I had to move away..and go back to myself. I also saw my own horrible ego that got caught up in materialism and pride. A part of the Virgo Eclipse was to forgive them and myself and to cut all ties that bound me to them.. to go back to a pure state spiritually and back towards a healthier state of mind and being.. a very Virgo-nian way of making life simple, pure and orderly.

In between these Eclipses we are being asked by the Cosmos to find the zero point or still center within to ride out the intense cosmic energy of going from ego back to the pureness of spirit; simply put the ego doesn’t want to die back or be released; pride and prejudice both die hard and being critical of the self and others can be very seductive, destructive but mostly addictive. The way to the way is to just allow the mind to think while being aware of it’s thoughts and then just letting them go.. just letting them flow like waves; while not allowing them room to stay or become a reality as they once were before becoming aware of them. This is letting go of old patterns; old addictions and mine has been to be overly critical and easily frustrated by ignorance.. by fighting every ignorance and taking it personally into my ego or energy, I am keeping myself and soul from growth and inner peace.

The Eclipse in Pisces is here to show us the way back towards a higher state of being spiritually; to remind us that this is the material reality, but this is just a stop over for the soul or a school for the soul; this material reality is not the soul’s true home.. and so we are being drawn into the place of.. the infinite or cosmic void and being shown that what we think we are is not what we are. We are being brought deep inside to the seat of the soul, to the very essence of our being where hope resides eternally. In the shadow of the Pisces Eclipse we will all be given a peek behind the veil of mystery..all of us who are willing to sit within our center will be brought into the Cosmic flow or void..and we will simply be in awe of being present with the soul, so that we will no longer pretend to be what we are not to make other’s happy but we will be busy being and that is the way towards true happiness.

The Power of Ritual

The above image is a painting that I created a year ago of The Moon Goddess or Selene.

I have been doing my New and Full Moon ritual’s on my YouTube channel for several months now. I was inspired to do so by going to a few New Moon Ceremonies in my local community that I found to be very unorganized and lacking in depth or meaning by the lack of organization. Ritual’s are very organized by the use of symbols, music and words.. etc, to create intention. Without intention a ritual or ceremony is meaningless and washed out.

Looking at ritual through the lens of psychology .. a ritual is like an affirmation. When we give ourselves repeated affirmations it’s like self hypnosis. Hypnotherapy helps towards wiring the brain down new pathways that lead us towards better or worse behaviors. Many athletes use rituals or patterns of behavior to help them concentrate their energy on achieving the intended goal. A ritual pattern like using a lucky piece of equipment, lacing their shoes a specific way and saying a mantra before competing help’s athletes and all of us to focus internally towards what we wish to accomplish. To give weight to the power of ritual is to see it through common sense not just a spiritual practice. Ritual’s actually calm and comfort the psyche ” soul, mind or spirit” That is why so many recovering addicts turn to religion or spirituality to help them to over come their addiction.. so looking at it factually it isn’t actually God or the gods that they believe in that helps them beat the addiction..but rather it is the ritual in religion or spirituality that helps them to stay calm, centered and focused on the outcome of health and inner peace.

In this post I am teaching you how to create your own ritual’s so that you can set intentions to help you manifest your desires or goals..and so that you can hone in on what it is you need to release or let go of that is holding you back from your goal or optimal health. The Serenity Prayer is a prime example of this wisdom.

” God grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Traditionally the New Moon is used to plant seeds of intention so we can manifest or harvest those intentions by the Full Moon..and the Full Moon is about letting go of what no longer serves your greatest good. The moon is a symbol of femininity, the mother and nurturing as well as the mysteries. The word menstruation comes from the Greek word Mene meaning Moon, the Moon represents ancient wisdom, it is associated with the owl,, the bird of wisdom and silver the color that represents the Goddess and so that is why we have many Goddess Circles that create rituals around the moon; as the cycles of the moon represent death and rebirth ..and the mysteries that wait for us upon the death of the flesh. Looking at this through a spiritual lens, rituals are more powerful when they are performed with the cycles of the moon. Using the astrology of were the planets and stars are placed at the time of the full moon further concentrates the intentions, manifestations and what needs to be released by designing a ritual around the energy of the solar system with the cycles of the moon. Thanks to the internet you can go and research the astrology yourself to design your own ritual.

1. A ritual should start by knowing your intentions, what you wish to manifest or what you wish to release.

2. You can start your ritual with a mantra or pray to open up your psyche ” Psyche was a Goddess by the way.” or subconscious towards making yourself susceptible towards suggestion.

3. You must have symbols of meaning like wine, flowers, crystals or candles and have them arranged in way that is meaningful to you. You can use ancient symbols like tarot cards or ordinary household items that are dear to you. You can use these items to concentrate your intentions .. or towards releasing. Like writing down what you wish to release then ritualistically burning it as a symbol of release.

4. A closing mantra or prayer to close the subconsciousness towards further suggestions towards self hypnosis. To return mind, body and soul to it’s normal state.

 

There are many things that you can use in rituals .. like food, music, essential oils or even Tantric Sex. There are many cultures that use sex or sex magic in rituals.

Here are some examples of what you may wish to manifest { Love, health, money, justice, equality, victory, marriage, children, fame.. etc..}

When I underwent hypnotherapy I was told by my therapist ” You will go inside of yourself and ask your higher self or “Genie” to help guide you towards your greatest wishes and desires.”

Looking at manifesting through a practical lens.. we must not only wish but we must act or take actions towards our goals to achieve them..but setting our intentions and releasing what is holding us back from success is a start towards building a foundation of success and towards staying on the path of success. Because every athlete has had to train many long hours towards winning an Olympic Gold.

The Goddess

This chapter in my book is very special to me; as she represents wisdom and intelligence.. she is the female Albert Einstein..and that is why I based this chapter on infinity..or the contemplation of reality. Albert Einstein also understood music as mathematical. As he was so is she. Sexy woman are also very intelligent and intellectual people.

~From the book ~ The Goddess an Expression of The Divine Feminine ~ Amazon.ca

click on images to enlarge them

Hecate

 

The Triple Headed Goddess; The High Priestess; she has many names. The keeper of the crossroads and the hidden places; she lifts the veil to the Inner Temple, the subconscious. She is the woman who dreams, dreams of long forgotten places and remembers things. She dreams, dreams of the future that come to pass, she sees past lies and deceit by using her inner compass.

 

She represents the lunar cycles in all phases; the new moon is the virgin; the full moon the mother and the waning moon the matron. She is daughter, mother and grandmother, as all women have been and will be in each state within their lifetimes. She is mystery and secrecy, as all women keep their secrets from men; as it isn’t any of his business how many men had come before him or how she felt about them; because she knows the fragile male ego needs not know for it’s own good. She keeps her secrets from her own mother and even sometimes from her best friends, as secrets are secrets.

 

She is feline; sleek and sexy in her mystery, she can overwhelm a man with her inner sight as just when he may think that he has fooled her, he finds her looking deep inside. She looks right through him like a cat looking into the spirit world; this does scare him because in her coldness he knows that she has seen strait through him. His only defense is to call her crazy; but as wise as she is she knows to ignore his pitiful attempt at hiding from her.

 

She is a woman that keeps her own council; she knows her intuition very well; wise and strong, this makes her very sexy, but in a dangerous way to men. But the danger of her deep wisdom causes him to want her more, because he just cannot grasp her inner mystery.

 

This is woman whom men will come to asking for advice; because they know that it will be given with unfaltering truth and deep wisdom. She is the woman; that with her intuition sees around corners, she can connect the past, present and future. This mysterious woman understands that time doesn’t run in lines it runs in circles, understanding the rhythm of life, knowing that it all conjuncts back to crossroads, she can see the next entrance. Light and darkness; youth and aging, life and death all circle into infinity.

Infinity

 

 

Oh to contemplate infinity.. Where to start.. First with the symbol of infinity the # 8 turned on its side.. This is the number of abundance and endless possibilities, as this is what infinity is.. It is nothing=everything and everything=nothing.. If you look at the symbol were the lines meet in the middle; if you were to crop this, it would look like and X marking the spot where the treasure of the infinite is propelled out from the center.. The center is the symbol of the # zero which really isn’t a number at all as it holds no value.. As it equals nothing.. but the zero is infinite as it holds place value ( following me here.. )

The place value is, it holds the other numbers up to equal, lesser or greater value.. This is the nature of infinity..(Sorry I love this) this is the number of infinity on the digital clock 10:01.. The 10 the completion the 01 the beginning of the journey.

To look at the symbol of infinity is to see that reality, space, time and mass all conjunction to meet at nothing.. Making everything come together to become NOTHING…ahh infinity..So does this mean that there is no mass, space, time or even reality.. Or does this mean that when they join they create timelessness.. Does this mean that nothing is really as it seems that we are deluding ourselves into perceiving reality?..(I love this…mind bending isn’t it?)

Zero is the womb waiting conception…10 is the conception brought to fruition and one is the conception..(Interesting isn’t it?).. Infinity is based on numbers.. Negative and positive.. When they pass through the conjunction of infinity.. The cross roads on the path to nowhere and everywhere they become Zero.. They become the possibility of negative or positive numbers or experience.. Or time, or space or mass…

Is the journey ever really complete? Has it ever even been started? Does time hold a place in the everything or is it nothing at all.. If everything is nothing and nothing is everything then the possibilities are endless.. Limitless.. Fathomless…

I hope I gave you something to think about.

Sacred Whore

 

The Sacred Whore was the High Priestess of the temple. She was not the whore of today; the reason that she is known as a whore is that she accepted payment for her services.

 

When we envision a whore; we see a rundown woman with no self worth or respect, stung up on drugs, using the payment from her customers to buy more drugs so that she can numb herself into living through her terrible life. This was not the whore of ancient times.

 

The High Priestess was from noble blood or family; giving her virginity to paying noble men was seen as a sacred sacrifice to the divine. She was encouraged to enter into the Priestess hood upon puberty. Men would pay her as a sex therapist and councilor; this was a sacred bond of secrets between her and her client; who were mostly high ranking men, she was the soft place to fall into; they could divulge all of their inner most secrets; wishes and fears to her and then make love to her and with her. This was the place where he could fall to pieces but still keep his self-respect.

 

When the High Priestess was ready to re-enter normal life; she would more than likely marry one of the noble men that she had been a consort to; she was revered and respected for her contribution to society and to the divine union of the masculine and the feminine.

 

Today she exists in every woman as the understanding wife, girlfriend and lover. Her payment is still the same (respect and trust) to trust and respect her; she too will do the same for her man; if she is a dignified woman, a woman of class and grace, she will take his inner most secrets to the grave with her. She will not use his secrets against him; it will be and stay bedroom talk until he mentions it to her again as she will understand and respect his vulnerability.

 

In the tarot deck she is seen as the Strength card; The Whore of Babylon, she tames his inner beast with beauty, sweetness and grace; as well with a good amount of lusty lovemaking.

RHYTHM

 

 

I love to dance and sing

Music is everything

I hear and feel such passion move through me

I can’t help but move my feet

My heart burst out across my lips

As the melody takes over me.

 

The drum beat sends me

The piano owns me

The strings touch my heart

The strings of the guitar and the harp

The violin so sad and sweet

Soulful and so spiritual

Music swirling sends me twirling

 

Like a child again

I am wild again

I am freed by this passion

Fiery euphoria sweep me up

I fly to the stars

I grove hard

 

Music, music be my muse

I swing as I move

Fluid as the waves of bliss that send me

Send me, ohhh send me

Send me to sweet poetry

Oh the dance of life it courses through the score

 

Fiero, sotto voce, furioso

Boldly, softly, wildly

Take me to the angels

Take my body and my soul

I sing and dance

I make music for the sake of it.

 

Ohhhoohhhooh Bliss!

MAGIC

 

 

Suddenly I can see past reality

I can see eternity

I understand infinity

I am everything and everything moves through me.

 

In a place deep inside of my soul

I can learn to let go

I know that my gifts are my tools

My natural born abilities create more for and of me.

 

When I learn to soar on the winds of change

When I let myself float down stream

When I cease to fight

When I chose to do what feels right I win.

 

There is magic inside of each one of us

A magic that is powered by faith and trust

By following our hearts and souls

We find our way to this enchanted space and place.

 

Destiny is given room

Destiny and fate are found in a quieted state

It is in the place of surrender

Surrender where we create and find our miracles.

 

The miracle is the magic

The magic of turning sorrow into treasure

The magic of wisdom matured

We chose tenderness over bitterness.

 

Creation is at your finger tips

We can cause miracles by following our hearts

It is through living our dreams

That God lives through each and every one of us.

 

Magic is the infinity of the possibilities

That nothing lived through the heart is impossible to conceive

When we manifest our dreams

We become one with God and live in our own divinity.

 

So quiet your mind and still your soul

You have the power at your calling

To call upon all of creation

You can become whatever you chose as infinity is within you.

 

The Goddess

Justice .. it seems we live in a world void of truth and justice.. I felt compelled to share this chapter of my book during this moment in our world wide human struggles for what is just and fair.. right now we are experiencing the Syrian Crisis.. I believe the Angels are watching us.. will we rise up into our humanity..or will we fall back into our barbaric patterns.. for true civilization to emerge..for humanity to truly evolve.. we must change from ” An eye for an eye.” towards ” Only love can drive out hate” world..for ” What we do to other we do to ourselves.” What then will be our judgement.. what Karma have we created? We must see them as us for humanity to become truly civil; just, equal and fair.

 

 

~From the book ~The Goddess an Expression of The Divine Feminine~ Available on Amazon.ca click on images to enlarge them

Athena

The Lady of Justice and Civilization, she stands proud, dignified and true to the ideals of a civilized society. She will fight the good fight; she does not war for the sake of warring, she wars for the realization of peace. Athena does not believe in peace at all costs; she will not give up on freedom and liberty from oppressive forces. Athena’s civilization is the ideal of freedom for all not just a select few; as she understands within her deep spiritual wisdom that even the lowest in society can rise to the highest due to their own merits. She fights for the weak and the infirm as it is just to do so, anything less would be barbaric; and this she fights against.

As an archetypical personality she is impartial and unemotional in her search for truth; the whole truth and nothing but the truth will do. She will not tolerate exaggeration and drama; she keeps her inner balance to bring outer balance forward; she evaluates the given situation at hand with wisdom and knowledge, she seeks the facts and she acts with compassion and mercy for all involved. With her sword she cuts through lies and deceit; she sees through the ego of mankind; through the weaknesses of greed and lust.

 

Athena is the masculine force in all women; she represents a woman coming into the age of wisdom; when she sees through illusion and lies to the heart of the truth. This woman will not hide from the cold hard truth as she knows it is the only way to peace; even if the truth is initially painful at first, she understands it is necessary to face in order to find sincerity.

 

The Athena archetype is the intellectual, she is logical; she rises up civilization to bring a strong foundation for the sciences and the arts. She seeks clear communication and mediation; with her wisdom she shows clear discrimination; her objective is truth, as it is the only way to true peace and to bring about culture; wisdom and knowledge for the betterment and for the evolution of the human soul.

STRONG!

 

 

The world will try to keep you down

Some will tell you that you are crazy

Some will be so very cruel

Some will tell you who to be and what to do

Some will deliberately hurt you

 

YOU ARE STRONG!

 

You will stand up and live your dreams

You will stand up and you will scream

You will stand up and stomp your feet

You will be heard and be seen

You will be who God meant you to be

 

YOU ARE STRONG!

 

They may make you cry

They may make you wonder why

They may make you question everything

They may make you angry

They may make you fight

 

YOU ARE STRONG!

 

You do what is right

You make a difference in the world

You love

You be true

You do what is right for everyone and you

 

YOU ARE STRONG!

 

Live in your heart

Live your dreams

Live your life

Live to be

Live be to free

 

YOU ARE STRONG!

Truly Loving You

 

To truly love you I must forgive the things that you do

I have to see and understand that you are imperfect just like me

To really love you I must accept all of you

I love you for you

To truly love you I must stand my ground

I cannot let you push me around

I have to set boundaries down

To love you I must teach you how to treat me

I love you in spite of you

To truly love you I must be happy without you

I have to know and love myself

I have to respect myself to respect you in return

To love you I must glow on my own

I love you and me too

To truly love you I must let go of the past

I have to be with you in the moment

To really love you we must move forward together

To love you I have to let go of you

I love you without condition

To truly love you I must see you past myself

I have to see you as an individual with a life of your own

To really love you I have to set you free

To love you I let you soar

I truly love you.

 

My Grandfather’s Native Wisdom

 

My earliest memory of my Grandfather.. My mom and dad were staying with my grandparents in Carson City Nevada.. I was sleeping in my grandparents bed with my sister and I think my cousins ( it was such a long time ago so I am doing my best with my cloudy memories ) I woke up with a start as I heard my grandfather Cecil exclaim loudly ” Holy Mackerel ” ( he loved to say that when he was excited ) I remember reaching for the glass of water that my grandmother had placed on the night stand, to find it full of small floating, dead bugs .. my grandmother then burst into the bedroom ..she leaned over us and said softly ” Your grandpa wants you to get up and come outside to see the meteor shower.” I remember how excited my grandfather was; when we all sat on the front porch at his feet to watch the stars fall.. he was the biggest kid of all..and he said ” Father Sky is showing Mother Earth how much he loves her ” My grandmother loved that because she hugged him.. it was magical.. my grandfather had a way of making nature magical.

Around that same time; way back in the very early 70s.. my grandfather decided one night that we should go for a drive in his beat-up pick-up truck to go and chase the full moon.. I remember how he stuck his head out the window to howl like a coyote.. but he got the real coyotes going.. I remember that desert night being so bright with moon light and magic..and my grandfather saying ” You could drink the Milky Way through a straw tonight ” and it was like that in the desert ..back then anyway.. there wasn’t any artificial light .. just the stars and the moon…and on some nights the desert storms would cast their natural fireworks..

My Grandfather taught me much about the sacred… he loved to build a fire… one night in Washington.. we camped by a swamp.. it smelled so bad. I complained and complained about how much it stank.. he said to me ” That isn’t a bad smell, it’s the smell of life.. White people think everything should be perfect.” ( When I refer to my grandfather saying white people.. he meant tamed and overly domesticated people..or conformist..to him ” The Man” meant people who invented the plastic world of consumerism ) He said of the swamp ” Everything must rot and die back to make room for new life.. that smell is life.. with out things decomposing .. that would be the real crap.. Mother Earth is completing a cycle.. that smell is the smell of green ” It was from that moment on that my favorite color became green.

As we sat by the fire and it sparked up into the sky.. my grandfather said to me ” Do you see how the sparks are like the stars Gracie? Do you see how you are like the stars Gracie? Do you see that your ancestors are like the stars..do you see that the stars.. the fire is inside of you.. do you see that you are your ancestors Gracie? We are ancient.. do you see that Gracie?” I was about 9 years old..and I said ” Yes grandpa.. you helped me see I am the stars.” I could tell he was pleased.. He then picked up his banjo.. and he started to beat it like a drum.. like a heart beat.. and I knew it was the heart beat of the earth that he was playing.. my heart, his heart, your heart, the universal heart.. he began to play the strings.. and then the music took him away.. you could see his body but you knew his spirit traveled on the musical vibration.. to become one with the cosmos.. he was like a whirling dervish.. he was reaching a state of ecstasy.. he was in a trance and in communion with The Great Spirit.. The fire crackled and sparked.. orange and yellow.. black and red..and my grandfather hunched over his banjo..his long hair falling over his face.. he was star traveling.

My grandfather smelled like sweet pot and zippo lighter fluid..and he always had zig-zag rolling papers on him.. he was a hippy.. but he said.. ” Native Americans were the first hippies..the real hippies. We are not vegetarians.. that’s hippy dippy shit.. we hunted for survival not sport.. we didn’t waste a thing… our ancestors only took what they needed.. and they only left behind the hides they took.. their bones and foot prints( meaning no living will or belongings ).. that’s a real hippy.. everything else is bullshit. The White Man has to own the land; they took what was perfectly imperfect and made it into sparkly shit.. they depressed us with taking our Mother away from us.. we are wild in spirit and need to roam .. but they took that away from us and domesticated the land.. they domesticated us..and our true spirit grieves the freedom of the land to be one with the earth.” He told me then, what many people are just understanding now ” Pot, mushrooms, peyote isn’t bad; it helps us connect with The Great Spirit”  As a child I loved the scent of pot and zippo lighters.. because they reminded me of my grandfather’s hugs and laughter. My grandfather’s laughter was so honest..and explosive.. it wasn’t tamed or toned down..and when he laughed everyone around him laughed.. I haven’t seen many domesticated white men laugh like that.. their social masks are too thick… they might crack.

My grandfather would tell me how much I was like his mother..he explained to me that she was like a medicine woman.. because she saw between the worlds; she was wild inside.. like a wild dove; wild woman.. she could see through people and she knew when they had bad spirits ( when they were crazy )

One day my grandfather and grandmother came to visit us in Canada.. we were living in Langely BC.. I was 11 .. It was August..and I was outside on my own collecting snakes and grasshoppers. I was a tomboy.. so sometimes I played alone because the other girls.. including my sisters didn’t like to get that dirty ..or collect snakes and bugs. I wore my bikini out into the open fields and streams .. nothing but a walking stick and a bucket to collect creepy crawlies in.. My grandfather came looking for me..and when he found me he had such a look of love on his face.. he said ” Look at you being like your great grandmother.. a wild child with dirt on her face and grass in her hair! Now show me whatcha got in that bucket!” He was like a child again..as we sat in the long marsh grasses.. feeding the snakes in the bucket grasshoppers.. I could tell he was proud of me then.. and he said ” I am so glad to get way from all the chatty women .” it was our moment.

My grandparents divorced..and my grandfather became truly free.. he was like the wind..sometimes no one would see him for long spaces of time.. I don’t think I saw him again until I was 19..he came to Canada..by that time I was living here in Kelowna BC Canada.. He met my then boyfriend..and I could tell he didn’t like him.. he said to me ” Gracie, lets for a walk in the open hills above you.” I knew he wanted to talk..and to be out in nature.. what he said to me was truly prophetic .. he said ” That boy you are with is an asshole you deserve better.. you will leave him ( I did a few years later ) Gracie what do you want from life? ” I said ” I want to get married, have some kids and own a home.. I want some land and horses.” He said to me ” You think you want that shit but you don’t Gracie.. you will get those things and you will think you are happy for a little while.. you will find a man and he will try to tame you..and he will think he has.. but he will be wrong.. because you have an ancient wild spirit within you.. The Wild Woman.. she cannot be tamed or domesticated.. you are your great grandmothers .. great grand daughter.. she had the same look in her eyes.. one day that spirit will come to a knowing of it’s self..and she will roar like a flame with in you..and he will run ( and he did ) but you will be free..and the next one who comes will be free..and he will have the wild within him” and then he continued on..” Gracie were do you think you go when you have an orgasm?” I was speechless..because I don’t think I had really had one yet..and because I had spent too much time away from my grandfather ..and so I wasn’t used to his honesty and openness anymore ( my white was showing .. I was somewhat domesticated to white shame ) my grandfather was wise..he knew it.. so he said to me ” Marriage is bullshit.. it condones ownership .. and it sexually represses..and teaches sexual shame.. there isn’t any shame in sex Gracie.. when you have an orgasm.. even if you just give yourself an orgasm..you are becoming one with the cosmos.. that is sacred..sex is sacred.. not shameful..it is natural and beautiful.. religion is bullshit.. there are no rules or doctrine to becoming one with The Great Spirit.. Nature is the only church you need..and your body is the temple.. the orgasm is the bridge to the cosmos.. ” And so it was my grandfather gave me a spiritual sex education.. he said ” One day you will walk away from this shame Gracie and when you do you will know you are a medicine woman just like my mother.. your great grandmother..and when the shame of nature and all that is natural is cast aside from society..all nature will heal.. including the Native Peoples.”

And like the wind..like the gypsy he was.. I never saw my grandfather again..and years ago he passed on.. but under the full blue moon.. while I was skinny dipping alone in the wilderness of Okanagan Lake.. I heard him speak to my soul.. and I heard him say as I stood in the hot night wind..naked and wet.. alone .. he said ” Wild Child.”

And I was reminded that I must write about him..and his ancient wisdom.

{ In memory of Cecil Ackerman }

A good omen

I was running Knox Mt, Kelowna BC Canada.. when I saw a bald eagle sitting regal at the top of a tall pine.. He was level with me as the tree he was roosted on was growing down the mountain side that I ran the trail above.. I stopped to jog in one place to get a good look at him.. the morning sun gleaning in his beaming yellow eyes.. we were up close and personal.. he was huge! Just then a group of women came walking up the trail..as I jogged still in one spot ..to keep up my heart rate; they stopped to see what I was looking at.. they awed ..and we talked about what he was thinking about.. I said for the eagle ” I am hot because I am an eagle and your not cause I am the eagle ” we had a little chuckle.. because seriously this guys body language was pure pride.. and so I continued on to run hard down the rest of the trail.. out running the guy in the water..in the canoe that was trying to out run me.. I won.. just as prideful as the eagle I guess..cause not only did I beat him to the beach but I ran past the beach..to the top of the Mountain..then back down the trail to the beach to have my swim..on my return I was the only one at the beach.. I stripped down to my jog bra.. I was already wearing short marathon shorts..that was my swim suit.. country girl fashion all the way.. no make up.. and red faced I ran into the water..and dove in head first.. as I was face up doing the back stroke I saw the eagle flying over me.. something was in it’s talons .. it seemed to spiral as it fell right onto my belly.. I thought it was just a stick.. as I continued to splash about I felt something wrap around my arm.. I thought I was being a paranoid silly girl.. so I just kept moving until I felt it let go..whatever it was..but after my 20 min swim.. I saw the dead snake in the water.. the eagle had given me a gift.. I am sure he didn’t mean to .. I am sure he meant to keep the snake for himself..but the poor snake gave it a good fight.. I fished her out of the water with a long stick.. poor snake had drown.. poor thing..

I did think of it as an omen at the time but I hadn’t really taken the time to analyse the significance until today.. I talked to some women at my gym that were visiting tourists .. they were doing a intense strength and conditioning workout.. much like the workouts or training sessions that I do.. many similar moves.. and the two chicken leg male bodybuilders that make fun of my moves were mimicking them as well.. I went over and apologized for their immature and insecure behavior.. then they said to me.. ” If only those guys knew we are both apart of the Canadian Olympic Team” They then introduced themselves.. and one said ” My friend here won a gold medal in cross country skiing” we shook hands and they asked my name.. I then told them to go to Knox Mt for a hike..to see the beauty of the Okanagan Valley..then I told them about the snake and eagle.. they said ” That is a good omen for you Gracie.. you have great energy Gracie..we really like your moves ” They were from Alberta…. but ya I thought ” If Olympiads..and or gold metal winners are saying it’s a good omen..well then hell yes it is! ”  ;)   they are another good omen LOL

But just last night my daughter had a very vivid dream that I was going to meet someone that was my direct opposite..someone with worldly authority..someone not like me at all.. in her dream he was my boyfriend..and he didn’t look anything like me..but he was really nice..and liked her.. ( I am tying this together with the symbolism of the eagle and the snake.. just bare with me here )

This is what I learned from this source https://misfitsandheroes.wordpress.com/tag/eagle-and-serpent/ 

“”The Eagle and the Serpent as One Entity

Pliny the Elder (c.100 AD), in his work Natural History, refers to a certain large serpent that fights with eagles.  It tries to steal the eagle’s eggs.  In the struggle, the snake wraps itself around the eagle so tightly that the two look like one animal with two heads.  This is a very early reference to the eagle and snake involved in a match of equal, opposite powers.  It’s also a reference to what seems to be the combined animal – the winged serpent.

At this point, when the eagle and serpent are perfectly paired opposites, they represent not victory or defeat but dynamic cosmic completion, the union of spirit and matter, as shown in the Japanese emblem (illustration).

This is the same combination as the American Indian winged rattlesnakes, the Mesoamerican feathered serpent, the Egyptian winged snake goddess Wadjet, and the paired winged, serpent-tailed creator beings in Chinese myth.  This is the force that drives the universe as the celestial bird and the serpent wheel forever, in perfect balance of opposite energies, around the portal of heaven.

Sources and Interesting Reading:”"

It is such an interesting and very ancient symbol.. like yin yang..or the masculine and the feminine.. it shows to powerful people combining forces to create something very dynamic or shape shifting..being able to shape a new reality..

I really hope it comes true!

What I think about Suicide

I believe the soul cannot die or be destroyed because it’s energy and scientifically speaking .. energy cannot be created or destroyed .. so truthfully there isn’t life or death when were are measuring it be energy.. there is only life and death of the flesh. I think or believe the reasons that we ( as spirits or energy ) manifest into the flesh is to temper or perfect the energy or spirit.. and the spirit or energy of course belongs to it’s self or the source of all creation or energy.. so life and lifetimes are lessons towards the tempering of source energy.. so when we end our own lives.. I believe we are reincarnated right back to were we cut our lives short..because the soul or the energy hasn’t upgraded to the next level of it’s perfection or wisdom.

Suicides don’t go to hell but they come back to experience the hell that they tried to escape.. until they master that hell..and turn lead into gold.

We can look at it like a video game..a metaphor.. when you loose your life on the game .. you start with your new life on the level you finished your last.

I think the Universe or Energy.. directly lines up the players of the last game.. the stage.. circumstances and characters so that the destiny or fate can be played out; So your right back were you started.. the soul or source will not be satisfied until you learn to master the hand you are dealt ..

I think that when your energy or the source energy has played out the experiences of being human .. that the human experience will no longer be needed..and the slate will be wiped clean.. or the game board will be recycled into a new game or species .. I also think that there have been many humans that graduated the human experience before the rest of us.. these are the masters.. the mystics, gurus, prophets and demigods .. or gods.

Our greatest trump in the human experience is the mind.. because it’s only through self mastery that we can create like gods.. the experience that we are living.. it is only though self mastery that we can use genius to beat the game with a shitty hand.. most of us who have a shitty hand, have shitty people in our lives and shitty situations.. but if you can soar above your own story and see the checkered board on which you are a pawn.. you can learn to checkmate Kings and Queens..because once you know you are being played.. you can play through the game because the rules of the game will become a mute point..

So don’t give up.. just wake up and become aware of your own energy.

I Dream of Buddha

I have had a very difficult few days promoting my book online. I have been called many names, and I have learned of lies and gossip spread about me; and I have learned of those believing the lies instead of listening to the truth. I have been directly contacted and told by some how horrible I am. How I am pretty but it is a shame that I am so negative. I am negative for telling the truth about those who have discriminated against me. I have been told I am an unhappy person in denial by those in denial of the truth of their own behaviors, actions/in-actions towards me. Many allow the discrimination by turning a blind eye to it, because to admit that it is happening would mean they would have to do something about it. They don’t want to help me because it would disrupt their comfort and positions in society..

I experienced a huge range of emotions.. from hopelessness, sorrow, shock, anger and then my in my conscious defense ( humor ) humor to fight the ignorance and stupidity.

Last night before falling asleep I asked the Universe or the Divine for a dream to help guide me or to help me.. this is called lucid dreaming. I have been able to lucid dream since I was a child; but I am not always answered by the Divine or Universal Energy.. but I was last night.. I am finding as my struggle with society begins to become even more heated that I feel the presence of the I AM.. with me directly. The dream I had last night almost feels miraculous ….

” I sat still and motionless on the lily pad.. I was the small green fog. I was still within the pod.. I floated without effort..I was the lily pad. I quietly opened to the sun..as my petals peeled back one by one and my fragrance filled the air.. I was the lily. The light breathed through me.. I carried it with in me.. I was the air. I burned my warmth forth without effort.. I was the sun. I looked within.. I was in everything; I wasn’t trying, I just was.. the Buddha.” ~ The Dream

I hope you can see the beautiful humility in the words. Humility is the greatest force of The Divine.. it is only through humility that we find the God/Goddess within us. It is only through humility that we are able to see through or own egos and the egos of others..

The Buddha didn’t speak to me but spoke through me and through the peace of tranquility .. The Buddha carried both the masculine and the feminine in my dream… this represented balance again..or the still center. In my dream the Buddha was blue.. this is the color of truth.. and the Buddha was showing me it’s eye wide open.. it was the color of tropical waters or turquoise.. the spiritual meaning of turquoise is peace.. meditation, mediation, protection, comfort, calm, stillness, healing.. turquoise is the color of basic truth and deep wisdom.

The Buddha was telling me that I am dealing with ego’s that are steeped in illusions .. My society and all society is mesh of illusions projected by ego.. the emotions of these egos.. or their projected perceptions of how they see themselves and how they see the world is being projected onto me..as they attempt to label me to fit me into their illusions. I am provoking their response by not allowing myself or them to tangle me up in their illusions.. to be my truth or the truth is highly offensive to them..as their illusions give them great comfort, status, wealth or prestige in society..the only way for them to find Nirvana was for the Buddha to find Nirvana.. by seeking only the truth past illusion or ego..

If I were to accept their illusion.. I would be crushed by it.. as they seem to have to put me into the victim role for them to excuse themselves from their own dysfunctional attitudes and behavior… and that has been denial of their own egos..

And so it is that I find Nirvana.. by seeing the truth.. for truth ..by the stillness and humility of internal balance.. meditation.. by being the Buddha within all things..

And so it is that this dream brought me peace, protection, tranquility..and the power to keep being the truth.

{ 3 things cannot be hidden long;

The sun

The moon

The truth } ~~ Buddha

Dreaming of my God

This is an actual dream recall.. I had this dream a few nights ago but it hasn’t left me.. in understanding or symbols this dream speaks to my soul.. and that is why it stays with me in waking life;  it has risen from deep inside of my subconscious; or the parts of my mind that I am unaware of into my wakeful mind, this is why these dream stay with us.. they are parts of us that have become aware. This dream is about balance within me; as much as it is about the romance, love and type of relationship that I seek in my life.. this dream is a dream of beauty.. it starts as such..

 

“I was swimming nude in a crystal clear pool.. as I floated and stroked through the water blissfully, I noticed the Greek columns reaching into the blue sky above me.. a happy sky filled with white fully soft clouds. The sun was just rising and the moon was just setting…and so they created a picture of balance.. gold and silver.. night and day..the stars danced between them..they twinkled as if singing. The doves made soft music..the eagles swooped..and the peacocks spread their feathers for pure delight.. The white marble of the deep pool was veined with silver and gold.. everything was pure and crisp.. perfection and bliss. Apollo’s Temple was built into the mountain side.. earth and sky presented themselves in all their glory and splendor..

And then I felt him.. he had reached for me through liquid diamonds.. I felt his energy in the water like lightning, but it didn’t burn me.. but inflamed my passions. His touch brought me life as he pulled me to him.. His strength and protection, the feeling of his flesh mingled with mine brought me comfort and with that a deep love. But this was a love of minds meeting on equal measure; a passion met by both equally. I knew him past words, because not one was spoken but the knowing of each other was complete.. it was completion. There was no need for competition between us.. for my weaknesses were met by his strengths and my strengths met his weaknesses..we were one. We completed the other..but separate we were complete..

We floated effortlessly on the surface of the deep clear water.. as the clouds dropped the nectar of the gods upon us.. giving us wisdom through sacred love.. we held hands as we looked up at the stars and Apollo blessed us.. with hope..and the stars sang of heaven.. the scent of roses and spice filled our senses..and the doves and the eagles soared up to the heavens.” ~ The Dream

The imagery of the dream.. the pool represents cleansing and being crystal clear.. the gold, silver, sun, moon, doves and eagles represent the balance of the feminine and masculine in myself and outside of myself.. the peacock represents royalty and passion but also the all seeing eye or third eye,,or the dream it’s self..the inner vision.. the temple of Apollo represents reaching for your dreams or even the dream it’s self.. the magic in the dream is the representations of the divinity in the dream or the dream it’s self being of divine origin or being sacred..and so it is that I myself see through a sacred lens..

In a prophetic sense.. it could be that I have or that I am manifesting my soul mate..

Looking at it in a practical sense..I have found left and right brain balance.

I like to look at this dream on all of these levels of understanding.. knowledge and wisdom..

Men and women are different..but if they are non competitive they can create a bonding and strengthening relationship by respecting and upholding the differences of the sexes.

 

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