Posts Tagged ‘99.9 Sunfm Kelowna BC’

Putting the dream to bed

 

It actually depends on the distance of the star from earth..but you get the point. Sometimes you just have to face reality..and learn to let go. Sometimes holding onto something can cause un-needed pain.. vs letting go of toxic people and toxic situations. Since giving birth to my dream ( My book ) I have gotten nothing but shit and shame..and a ton of muther fucking head games from my community. I have given it a run for it’s money.. holy shit have I paid my dues through their ignorance, prejudice and abuse.. the last straw.. was the guy I thought I had fallen in love with.. until he showed me his true self with his last text message.. his arrogance.. his snottiness.. his ” I am better than you because I have a rich daddy and everyone in this community supports and loves me.. compared to you.. you manipulating, seducing bitch.” stuck up.. holier than thou .. I am fucking prick attitude.. selfish.. self absorbed .. etc.. etc.. attitude.. but he represents all of them.. I am generalizing..but ya that’s pretty much the attitude of all the snobs in Kelowna.. people a part of the arts and business community..those allowed in.. those that suck up.. suck dick.. women who will actually fuck the ugly rich dues for social acceptance and favors.. or the one’s like him born into money.. then there are the one’s like the last photographer I let take my images for my free the nipple post.. ya he didn’t even edit them..because he learned by me telling him about my struggles ( stupid fucking me..thinking I could confide in anyone..wtf was I thinking? ) well he learned I am unpopular.. so he sent me the images raw ( I edited them myself ).. because he didn’t give a fuck enough to do any good work for me.. like he does or did for all the snotty uppity bitches .. who he can gain some social climbing through.. so that was another ( fuck this shit ) blow.. then one of his photographer friends who is trying to do some social climbing as well starts posting bullshit about what to avoid in looking for Ms.Right while dating.. much of his writing describing a woman like me.. or how people in the networking groups have labeled me anyway.. but no .. no one is gossiping.. and like Matthew said..he never gossips..but his close friends are hitting like on the post from this guy.. I am just like ( Fuck this shit ) but this is the mental shit..this is the mental confusion .. this is the fucked up shit these people do.. nothing is said up front..it’s eluded to..it’s manipulation..and the funniest most ironic part is they label me as the manipulative one ..while they are manipulating .. fucking mental warfare.. I am like ( fuck this shit )

So after 3 years of being socially shut out .. I am fucking done. One thing they love to do when I meet them in person is rub my fucking nose in it.. Just like Matthew did when we had tea together.. reminding me by telling me that I need a platform for my book ..that I need a place to speak about it.. that I need a team..a community.. letting me know how much I don’t have..that he has..because he is popular and rich through family association.. ya well ( fuck this shit )

I have people that I don’t even know glare at me in the grocery store.. my little boys says to me while playing in the cart with the steering wheel ” Mommy why are those old people glaring at you..they are looking at you like they hate you mommy..do you know those people?” what I want to say to my little boy ” Those people are assholes son.. remember that look so you can spot them as you grow up.. I wish I knew that look sooner.. those people don’t have dreams and fucking lives of their own so they need to crush other people’s dreams because they are muther fuckers dear.”

I thought to myself ” I know that I am not promoted by Kelowna’s media because I don’t promote tourism by telling the truth of my story.. by telling it like it is.. by standing up for myself it’s impossible for the arts and professional community to accept me.. or welcome me in..” but then I remind myself.. they never intended to let me in..because of my nipples,in my book, in the photography.. because I write about women’s sexuality..because I am not rich..because I am not popular..and it’s a gigantic fucking High School here.. the adults are more socially immature ( retarded ) then their own kids!

So I gotta let this SHIT go..

I am not going to promote my book in Kelowna anymore..and I am not doing it online anymore at all. I will be writing on my blog here..about whatever the fuck I feel like writing about..but I am putting the dream to bed so I can be happy.. I can release myself from their toxic shit..from their discrimination and ignorance.. Matthew may feel that he has won.. he did..he won the biggest asshole award.. he can put it up in the local arts center for all his snotty and popular friends to see.. I don’t give a fuck.

I need to to concentrate on my kids..on the simple things that make us happy… because life is to short for this bullshit..and all their bullshit..as far as I am concerned they deserve each other.. maybe when I am dead my book might make an impact in the world..but I am not going to keep fighting a loosing battle with people who don’t fight fair…

I realize these jerks don’t deserve me or my book.. quite frankly I cannot stand these people and their selfish fake, plastic and childish society.. they really do deserve each other..

I deserve to be happy.. I deserve love and respect.. I will never get any of that from them..and I realize now what I did wrong.. I kept trying.. I cast my pearls upon swine.

Entrepreneur .. what I learned about failure

 

 

 

I have failed in attempting to promote my book in my home town of Kelowna BC Canada..

The first thing I learned …what I am made of; I am very tenacious, resilient, and determined. I went through incredible hardships doing my best to bash through social prejudice, sexism and bigotry put upon women’s sexuality. I learned that I am pretty strong.

I don’t think my approach would of mattered. Given the subject matter of the book; given that I am topless in the photography and that I candidly wrote about women’s sexuality and used my own sexuality in the book as an example.. I don’t think I could of approached anyone differently in my community .. or by approaching them differently would I have seen other results. By what I have been through I can see by a couple of years experience that these prejudices and sexisms are very well established in our society.. and they are..

1. To be taken seriously as a professional don’t publish topless images of yourself. But it’s ok to publish them of other women if that is your profession

2. You must have a degree to be taken seriously

4. You must know someone or many people within the professional and arts community to be given any help or press releases

5. You must be a part of a networking click to be acceptable

6. To talk about, write about, be about your sexuality as a woman, you are asking for harassment, bullying and to be shut out.

I failed by not knowing my society. I failed because I was childish in my perspective of others. I failed because I underestimated how conservative and repressed my local society is.

Looking back at what I know now; I wouldn’t of even attempted to retain some ground or a speaking platform in my city. I wouldn’t of put myself through such grief, pain and suffering.

I would simply of kept my work online and kept myself away from all of the ignorance.

I was given a wonderful opportunity from Chapters in Kelowna to have my book put in the local authors section. But looking back now, now, that none of them sold since the book signing and so the contract has been cancelled..but looking back now I wouldn’t of even attempted that.. as Kelowna is clearly not my market.

I know that if I did become successful by chance by promoting my book online; Kelowna would fully accept me..but I will not be accepted by Kelowna in any other way..

So the biggest lesson was to know my market.. but I honestly couldn’t of foreseen the intense prejudice in Kelowna without having directly experienced it myself..and it truly does blow my mind.

I have learned how naive and unsophisticated I am .. I was like a child in creating my book and dream.. like a child in expecting that I had equal rights..that I actually had freedom of expression as an artist in the first world.. instead I found that I dredged up what was at the very undercurrents of western society..and that is we haven’t really come that far at all since the 1950s as far as equality and women’s rights ..or for the rights of minorities in general..

I have learned this is truly why my book is needed..and why a new organization or society needs to take up root..so that we can truly live in our supposed freedoms and equalities ..

Even though I am sad at my failure and that I haven’t experienced any form of success in Kelowna.. I am proud of myself for working as hard as I have worked at it over the last couple of years..

By God what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger..and you sure learn.

 

Purchase my book The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine off Amazon.ca

Follow me on Facebook and Youtube..and here on my blog.

Do something every day that scares you…..

 

I am once again showing my readers my journey.. my journey through promoting my book in my local community and in general. I was told by the kind PR specialist from New York to document this letter..and my experience today.. it keeps people honest..and many of my readers and online followers try to give me advice as to how to go about promoting myself.. as you can see I am doing everything that you and I can possibly think of doing.. contacting my local paper and radio stations ..all who have ignored me and or even go so far as to locking me out of their facebook pages.. having the manager of my local radio station 99.9 SunFm ” Mark” call me last spring to tell me that I was not allowed to comment on their facebook page..and that was why I was locked out of it..

Anyway.. I just sent this letter. He hasn’t had time to respond.. yet .. just went through this today..as usual it is very difficult for me to face people and to keep attempting to reach out to my local arts community..but here is to ” Smiling in the face of fear”.. here is ” Mud in your eye”..

 

Hi Mr. Leblanc

My name is Gracie Ackerman; I am a local artist and writer. I am the most controversial artist in Kelowna to date. I suppose it could be something to be proud of..given how unique my work is, but it is proving to be very difficult to promote my work in Kelowna due to religious prejudice.
I was just at the Rotary today; buying a ticket for the Comic Strippers tonight. I stopped and talked to Donna Lee and Lucas who works for the Alternator about the center helping me promote my book signing coming up at Chapters Book Store..here in Kelowna BC. I was asking that my book could just be exhibited and that I could advertise the book signing as a local artist/writer in our local arts center..but Donna Lee told me.. outright that she was not comfortable with my book or with displaying my book due to her religious beliefs. I asked her to repeat herself several times to me in front of Lucas.. and she did. I just couldn’t believe my ears..but at least this time it was being said to my face.. as I have been shown through discrimination tactics that Kelowna’s art world and society thinks and behaves in these prejudiced manners.
I had tons of trouble with Lynda Norman as well ..from Association of Arts for Creative Alliance.. I write about that on my blog..
If my book does hit mainstream media..it will be a damn shame that my own city wouldn’t give me an artistic platform to stand on.. that I am and was outright discriminated against due to people’s religious dogma.. How is this promoting or up holding the arts?
Donna Lee also said that she didn’t want young children seeing my book. I told her she could leave it out of reach and put it up at adult eye level.. although as I walked through the gallery I could see many paintings of nudes???
Below is my query letter that I am sending out to agents. I have had a very well known PR specialist from New York contact me.. I re-did my entire front web page..by his specifications..I think it is because of him that I was able to get a book signing at Chapters..he is helping me by giving me names of agents.

What makes my book different ?.. it is an authentic and realistic approach to spirituality, women’s sexuality and sacred sexuality.

 

How will it help humanity? Women’s sexuality has become lost in a plastic and pornographic world. We are sold one ideal of beauty that enslaves men and women towards constantly buying into an unattainable sexuality that inhibits true intimacy for both the sexes..not only does it inhibit true intimacy between couples but it causes us as individuals to lack intimacy and true love with the self. My book does have full color photographs using myself as the model to express the Goddess.. the book was completely created by women.. I created the concept, wrote the book and choreographed the photography and costumes.. and I employed female photographers to help me create the images.. I used my own money, talent and connections ( spiritual and otherwise ) ..meaning the book was completely created by the feminine for the feminine.. in a

way that no man could possibly conceptualize. The images are raw..they are natural and hardly touched up..as they are to show the true beauty of the natural, authentic sexuality of all women through me. I am not a typical model. I am considered short and chubby by media standards..but by the ancient archetypes of Goddess art.. I am a Goddess, as are all women.. The book will help humanity by bring back natural beauty, intimacy with the self and with couples..the book will help dissolve the shame heaped onto women who express and live freely in their bodies and sexuality..this book is the shift..an awakening..and evolution in human consciousness.

 

“”"How have I promoted my work? I have self published through a BalboaPress a division of Hayhouse. I have my own website and blog¬†www.sexassacred.com¬†that I use to promote the book. My blog is an authentic journey ..the journey of my own life ..trying to promote my book in my city that is very Christian/Conservative..that sees my work as witchcraft,evil and shameful..but the positive to this journey is that it is the story of “The underdog” I have many fans and readers who support me in my cause..people from all walks of life from all over the world..men and women..strait and gay.. ranging from the ages of 17 to 99. I also have a youtube channel..were I sing, dance and give advice. I am on twitter, instagram, linkedin,google.. etc… I have just landed a book signing at Chapters/Indigo Books in my city.

 

I understand that you have stated that you don’t publish full color photography books or poetry books..this book is much more than that..it is like nothing you have ever seen before..I am having trouble submitting to publishing houses because it doesn’t neatly fit into categories..but this is what makes it so special..and this is why I had to self publish the book..because it has to be seen in it’s finished state to be realized for what it is.. a work of art and literature.

 

I am sorry that I am not submitting to you as you have requested. I am hoping that you will go to my website and read the front page..and see a sample of the photography from the book on my site. The controversy surrounding the book is..in some of the images I am topless.. just as the Goddess is traditionally.. in my city,, in the conservative, professional society that I live in..this has been judged as inappropriate..but I know on a world stage this will be seen as brave and beautiful.”"

 

It is my hope that due to your credentials you will be able to look past our local communities religious discrimination to see the bigger picture and the larger scope of what my book and work has to offer..and that you will allow me to show my book in your galleries..

 

Thank you,

 

Gracie Ackerman

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