so you have a PENIS

I am starting off by saying…. when I meet the man I am supposed to be with I will be obsessed with his penis.. I will worship his manhood.. because I will be with him I will be totally attracted to him… I am a 41 year old woman at her sexual peak..I am so ripe I gonna fall off the vine.. so you will be begging me to leave your poor penis alone.. who ever you are. I will love your penis as much as I love the rest of you..and I will be very fond of what you use to make me happy and satisified and doing the same for you.. in a loving relationship

Before I really get into writing this I want all the men to know that I do not hate men.. I love men.. I love the way men you can tell by my writing I love to shoot strait from the hip and tell it like it is. Most men do this; I like listening to men when they don’t know I am; I love the way they communicate to each other, they don’t BS each other, they stick to the topic and get to the basic fact of the matter and when they are done with that.. they dig big holes; build and fix shit or even better they go up into the mountains to 4×4 and kill and eat stuff. I love that about men; I love to hear about their adventures and their stories. I love that men can be like little boys once in awhile. I want that in a man; that cheaky, witty attitude.. I like that.

Ok so we are starting out well right.. I hope your relaxed, because we are going to look at the penis in the cold hard light of day. Why? Because it is your pride and joy; you reason for being and breathing. My son was proud of his in the womb.. in the ulta-sound pictures he was wiggling it back and forth; like he was saying ” LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!” The other day while I was cleaning house he stood at the top of the stairs and said ” look mommy!” He had his pants down to his knees and he had colored his penis blue with washable markers. HE WAS SO PROUD OF IT! BOYS! GUYS! AND MEN!

Ok; you see I am starting gentle with you.. get it LOL

We will get to the piont.. get it!

One of my girlfriends was telling me that when she was out camping with some friends.. she was left alone sitting with a guy by the campfire.. he was playing with his penis.. he was pressing his sweat pants and tracing the outline of his penis.. and she said he was just doing it like you would play with you keys! She said ” are you having fun with it!?” he looked up dazed.. like “duh.”

When I was seeing Lucifer; he bragged about his penis.. how no one had one like his.. no man could do with his penis what he could.. I would never been with a man like the likes of him….but…..when it came down to it.. it was just a penis! Nothing wrong with it or anything.. but for some reason he thought he had the best penis in the world.. but when it came down to it..ahhh just another penis.

It was funny.. I still laugh about this today.. when I arranged a community picnic for hour town housing complex.. Lucifer thought that I did it just to get to his penis LOL.. he really thought so.. I thought WTF.. what the fuck.. why on earth would I arrange an entire picnic, getting children involved just to get to his penis?!!! Now that just shows you how highly he thinks of his DINGLE.. his DONG… his SHLONG…his LONG DUCK DONG…LOL.. oh I am laughing so hard when I write this.hahahhhhaahha

Anyway after I found him with the very young stripper these are some of the text that I sent him. I was making fun of his love of his penis. Oh he loves THE LORD OF THE RINGS… so this is where I got the idea for his penis picnic party theme.

” Adrian.. we should have a picnic for your penis.”

” we could have a LORD OF THE RINGS THEME.. everyone could cum as a penis..dressed like a Hobbit.”

“Adrian.. you could be the biggest most magical penis of all.. you could be the big wizard.. you could look like a penis in a robe.”

” We could have a penis tasting contest.. everyone could line up for a taste.”

” We could send them home with penis party favors.. we could have a plaster cast done of your penis and fill it with jellybeans!”

” we could do a, put Adrian’s penis throught the rings contest… we could really see how great your penis is.”

” Oh we could use your penis to stir the drinks and we could all have some roast weeny.. YUM.. I like the ones filled with melted cheese.”

“Hey would at the end of the party we could all have are pictures taken one at a time with your incredible penis! How exciting for all to leave with such a great memory to celibrate the greatest penis that ever existed!”

I was just rolling over in my bed laughing my ass off while I was texting it to him.. I was using the little emos on my phone… a smiley face with a party hat.. one dancing and others drinking.. OMG it was so much fun.. I just couldn’t believe how he loved his dink so much.. I had to poke fun at it ( GET IT POKE) LOL

When I saw him and the stripper going at it with his blinds wide open and his all his lights on so that everyone in our town housing complex could see.. like I said I burst out laughing.. it was a “LOOK AT ME AND MY PENIS SPECIAL EVENT” I still laugh at how hilarious it was.. if I am ever feeling down this always brings a smile to my face.

Ok now to change the subject of Lucifer.. lets talk about the Butcher.. he had a huge penis.. but because he had a huge penis.. the biggest penis I have ever seen.. it made him into the BIGGEST DICK… I have ever known… and it hurt. If you guys are all worried about that.. about wanting to have a very large or even large penis.. stop it! Trust me.. it just gets in the way and it hurts.. to most women it is not that impressive unless they are very large I guess. I know I am being very honest.. but guys are honest so you should understand that I am just giving you facts here. Not only is a big penis painful but not all the blood can get to all the penis ( factual ) so the rest is just a painful waist anyway.. Because this guy had a big dink he acted like it.. he lied by ommition.. he acted like he wanted a relationship with me and played me for weeks on that.. when we were intimate.. it was brutal and cruel.. I left a lot out of the story because I don’t want anyone going after the guy ( because he is a father of two young children ) and I didn’t want to get the police involved.. its not that I want to lie.. I do want to use my life experiences as a way to teach and help others.. you do have to stir things up to do that, but I don’t want things to over boil. But the piont ( lol ) guys is that you don’t have to have a big penis to impress a woman.. that is just BS.. just right will always do.. and knowing what to do with it.

OK now I want men to be truthful with themselves when they have the intention of sleeping with a woman.. I know a lot of you that lie to yourselves because sex is being offered up without the mental connection or emotional connection.. you know that it is not there but you still go for the sex anyway.. you lie to yourself knowing that it will not go anywere in the end with true intimacy because you just don’t have that special connection.. in the end you tell her it didn’t work but.. hey you tryed right? NOPE you got laid! You liked getting laid and if you were really honest with yourself you would admit that you had your cake and you ate it too. Men like to do that.. I am being general here.. I know but can’t speak directly to you.. I can only speak of my experiences and the experiences of other women that I know and have talked to.

Then there are those men that are really good in bed.. like honestly they are good and they know it.. its not like American Idol.. with the ones like Adrian who can sing.. but only so, so… not these guys; they have it and they know it because after they have given it to a woman once; they are stalked by them LOL.. cause she wants more of THAT! The thing is these guys think they have done her a great favor.. being her stud.. even if it was only for one night.. but.. you emotionally raped her.. I am not saying that is true of every woman… but the real honest sweet women.. you took a piece of her heart out with your penis.. you didn’t do her any favors.. you gave her a taste of heaven and then denied her the entrance.. you hurt her with these games.. to feed your ego.

Then there are the ones who have not been in a relationship longer than a few years..say three tops or even less.. these are the men who want women in their lives only for a season.. hmmm winter is comming better get myself a gal to keep me busy this winter. Hmm I am going to Mexico soon, it would be nice to take a chick that looks good in a bikini with me.. someone to have hot sex with and drinkns on the beach.. but with these guys.. once it starts to get real they make another vacancy.. they don’t want tampons under the bathroom sink.. or pink fluffy stuff in their bedroom.. god forbid candles and pretty smelly stuff.. nope if she doesn’t match his style.. if she doens’t fit what he wants at any given time or if she doesn’t fit in to his suitcase.. well bring on the next great adventure in sex.. cause when it comes down to it this guy can’t commit because he doesn’t know what true intimacy is..LOVE scares the shit out of him.. nope lets just stick to pleasing his penis.. and his need for superfical romance.

The piont.. THE PIONT is this.. every where you look in nature you can find penis guys.. it’s nice that you have one.. it’s even better if you know what to do with it.. but it isn’t the most important part of who you are.. your big head isn’t either.. it is your heart.. this is the middle ground.. if you want to truly please woman and if you want to find true pleasure yourself.. you will learn the true art of intimacy.. and that is seeing that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Women are people just like you.. we have to pluck hair.. srub the dead skin off our feet and take a dump too.. I know you want to keep the fantasy alive.. not all of you but many do.. and that is immaturity.

You can divorce you wife to try on someone different.. you can upgrade to a younger woman or a hotter woman.. or so you think at the time.. but what it really comes down to is this.. if you are doing this for superfical and selfish reasons then that is what you are. Women are real and human.. but I know that this can also happen to men on the flip side.. there are woman who are only interested in money.. and that go through midlife looking for younger men to feel younger.. I know there are smug and fake women out there too.. whose only want is to have a good shopping spree.. I know that it goes both ways

The reason and the intent behind the writing if this post is to level it out.. to get us all to be honest with our intentions.. to say were is the love? I just want people to stop using each other just to get their lusts and animalistic and worldly needs and wants met.. I just want everyone to be honest with themselves and others.. I am sick of hearing ” I want to win the lottery, I want a million dollars to make ME happy” How about LOVE..we all know money and sex and everything that is a passing fancy can’t buy love. Bring back the love into society…..WHERE IS THE LOVE?