How does dogma control women’s sexuality..and what is dogma. I am defining dogma as other people’s rules and regulations placed on you or me; other’s perceptions of what is or isn’t acceptable social norms or behaviors. Perception; oh how perception is the key as to how we see and create our reality..and sexual dogma creates a reality full of entrapments for women. An example of this dogma, a dogma that has been created through religious rules and regulations placed upon women’s sexuality or the control of it, is seen today by how a man can choose without permission to make himself sterile through a vesectomy but a woman to this day has to ask for permission from her husband to choose to make herself sterile by similar means. If she isn’t married she must wait to be married to get her husband’s approval.. obviously it is true that her body is not seen as her own but that she is owned by a male based society until ownership of a future husband takes over.. were as a man has total control over his sexuality and body.. he is therefore free were she is entrapped in dogma. This case is true in Canada to this day. Also she must be physiologically evaluated by a male based power system; the medical system to see if she is of sound mind, enough, to choose to have an abortion; proving once again her body and mind are not her own but belong to a male based establishment that holds power over her due to dogma. Dogma also can be seen as tradition, as traditionally through the ages women have been seen as objects to be bought and traded for, this means that her purity or virginal state dictates her worth or worthiness.. this of course is not true for a man, as he is free to have as much sexual contact as he likes and to talk said contact with whom ever he likes. A man is encouraged to express himself and to explore himself sexually as much as possible as this is seen as his virility makes him more of a man. But the opposite is true of women, as the more sex she has the lesser her value, the less standing she has in society, the less love and respect she deserves, until she becomes dehumanized by society as a whole.
And as women we entrap each other by these old worn out, out dated standards inflicted on us by dogma. We tell are selfves things like ” I had sex with him, so even if he treats me like crap I have to stick this out with him because I cannot have sex with too many men or I will loose respect and value.” sometimes these thoughts and patterns or beliefs are so ingrained in us we are not aware of the patterns and so they be come subconscious. We loose respect for ourselves if we sleep with too many men..and what is too many.. well society has defined that for us through movies..telling us that more than 10 is the number that tips a woman in to the slut or whore zone.. and so it is that we are entrapped into thinking that it is somehow our fault if a man doesn’t stay or if he strays. We also tell ourselves that we must wait for the right guy to come along to have sex, that we cannot explore our sexuality for the pure sake of the adventure of exploring it..like a man…because dogma dictates to us that women hold the purity of the world between their legs and through their sexual actions and even thoughts.. while men are free, we are entrapped.
This entrapment of dogma causes us to stay in bad relationships, to stay for the sake of marriage, marriage it’s self is dogma as it shows owner ship of a woman to her husband as clearly the medical community that is male power based believes and shows us by the control a woman’s body..as we are still but objects to be traded and devalued by our so called purity or lack of it.
And so it is up to women to be come aware, to become awakened to the undercurrents of society, to not shame each other… by saying things like ” she is a little rough around the edges or act like a lady, be appropriate, be nice, be sweet, submit to your man, do your women’s work, know your place, stay celibate and pure,” it is women who have to break the chains by not shaming and attempting to re-capture free women who claim their own sexual freedoms, live within their own skin.. and who do not let others capture them in their ignorance by lack of seeing their own dogma, those perceptions that are purely just that. What we see as wrong, isn’t wrong if it hurts no one including ourselves..this is only a prison of the mind manifesting it’s self into our reality.
That reality has manifested it’s self as lack of equality and the very obvious slavery of women to men should they step out of line or miss behave.. meaning if she doesn’t accept dogma norms placed upon her, to keep her in the chains of conformity she and her children, should she have any may be cast into hardship and poverty, simply by the fact that she will not make equal pay, she will not have equal opportunity, she will not have proper and affordable daycare for her children, making it easier for her to work and provide outside of male control. While it will be much easier for him to walk away with very little if any financial and or emotional support as a parent. This dynamic obviously keeps women under the abuse, control and ownership of her husband and a male power based society.. and so her daughters will learn what happens if they do not behave and work within this dynamic. The most shameful and painful is that other women shame and shun other women who are faced to struggle within this frame work..simply because they fear their own place in society.. and this is dogma in action..
The only way to change this, isn’t through present structure of Government and society; it is to awaken women, from the ground up, one woman at a time and to create a sisterhood were women stop condemning and competing for male attention, or male social approval..but empower each other freeing each other one woman at a time.. and this will bring balance and justice into society..and we will stop enabling men by accepting the ownership of purity and shame placed onto us by them as this doesn’t really exist.it is simply a definition that can be redefined.. it is time.