I had an breakthrough.. a self breakthrough that I wish to share with you..because I hope it helps you in someway..

I was having a very difficult time with attempting to get through to other professional groups and networking organizations with the message of my book. I found out about the business world this year. I had helped my ex husband start up and run a successful landscaping business..that we had built together from the ground up..but of course what I did with him is entirely different than attempting to set forth a brand new culture. I knew it would be difficult. I knew some women would see my photography and writing about sexuality as a form of competing for male attention and I knew that many men see any form of a woman’s sexuality as pornography. I knew that attempting to heal society of pornography and prudishness was going to take some doing. And I knew also that our culture needed and needs to evolve towards healthy sexuality..but I was not prepared for the lack of understanding and maturity towards this message in my own city. Taking a stand towards ignorance can be a huge fight.. we have been shown this throughout history..even just in the name ( History) we can see it as his-story.. her-story being left out of our culture. *sigh* and so with the old culture still holding true I have been seen as ill-reputable, as slutty and cheap. Wishing to show women and to lead women away from sexual shaming show through my own nudity the beauty in the female form… hoping to educate women and men..about how our sexuality has been sold back to us.. leaving us as a loveless culture.. I was seen as an attention whore.. and so the competition I attempted to prove myself as an educator/spiritualist/author and artist..but I couldn’t I was shut out, shut down and made to shut up.


The truth is I am not a professional business person at all.. I had no idea what I was up against or how cut-throat competition could be. I thought ( in the spiritual sense) that networking was creating a web were people could share and communicate ideas freely..that it would be cooperation and communication. I had no idea that I had to fit in.. I thought that being different was a good thing..but I was shown I was wrong..


In the spiritual sense I had a dream of The Greatest man..and in this dream he showed me his struggles and the struggles of his people towards freedom.. he shared with me the struggle of the underdog.. the one that is told that they don’t have a chance ..they don’t stand a chance..and any chance they get they make that path for themselves..and they work hard..they get hit hard.. but they get up and they train harder..because one fight just helps you learn for the next fight.



He says ” I know were I am going and I know the truth, and I don’t have to be what you want me to be. I am free to be what I want” ~ Muhammad Ali

I remembered my days in Judo.. I remembered being told..”There is no competition..your opponent is you..they are a reflection of your strengths and weaknesses.. you will learn..if you win the fight you will learn.. if you don’t win you will learn..but there is no loosing only lessons.. you will evolve as a fighter.. you will master yourself through them..they are not your opponent they are your teacher.”

I was a yellow belt.. I was told I was going to fight a brown belt .. I was told ” Chances are very high you will not win..but you will learn.”

I when she creamed me and used me to dust the mats.. I was asked ” What did you learn?” I replied ” I learned how she used my force against me.. I saw how she flowed as if she was dancing..she moved right through me.”..and I was told ” You will do the same.. you will do the same in daily life to..if you learn to flow with the force that is set against you.”

I had forgotten..I highermind re-(mined) me.. I was not flowing I was anger and frustration and painful emotion and so it was controlling my mind and my heart.. it was hurting.

The Greatest said ” What you’re thinking is what you’re becoming.” ~ Muhammad Ali

And so I was becoming bitter, angry and frustrated with the force of ignorance pressing down on me.

But my opponent is is in my is me fighting me.. there is no fighting there is only flowing when you know there is no competition.. when you know you stand steady in your center of who you are..of who you know yourself to be..

When Muhammad Ali went into the ring..he thought ” I am the Greatest. I said that even before I knew I was”

You see he had already fought his demons in his head.. he had already fought the prejudice in his soul.. he knew there was no competition and so there wasn’t..

He walked right through them.